4/2/2022 - Guntfest - Killstream KingPin - Ralph's Bowling Tournament - Gunt hosted a Bowling Tournament in Dallas, TX on April 2th.

[Hüftpriester]

If I decide to watch this, how will I be able to tell Ralph apart from a bowling ball? Especially if he's wearing all black, as fat people are known to do.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Calling it now: He will fail to sell tickets to this “invitational” and it will not happen. He’ll blame aylawgs for “canceling” him in the DFW area.

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

Calling it now: He will fail to sell tickets to this “invitational” and it will not happen. He’ll blame aylawgs for “canceling” him in the DFW area.

Will he attend wrestlemaina then? Having used the tournament as a cover all along?

 

[ScrappyLobsterchu]

Kiwis listen up. There is a high possibility we will see the gunt's rotunda form mid bowl. Hopefully this pans out.

 

[Sir Joahim Browinson III]

This deffinetly should be called "The Big Guntowski".

 

[NynchLiggers]

My expectation is that only 30 paypigs show up but the fact they are as wide as their overlord will give the impression that there are more people, fueling Da Gunt's ego.

Kiwis listen up. There is a high possibility we will see the gunt's rotunda form mid bowl. Hopefully this pans out.

Nah he will wear oversized brand jackets and pants to satisfy his wigger mentality and deny new gunt footage to the Aylahgs

We could still hear his heavy breath after being exhausted from walking thirty meters tho.

 

[GaryGrey]

Oh all the things that could go wrong.

• Sell tickets before reserving a venue
• Covid ramps up and venue makes showing proof of vaccination a requirement
• Mandatory masks
• The baby
• Venue gets cold feet and changes terms like payment schedule, amount, or requiring a deposit
• Venue backs out entirely
• Selling less than 10% of tickets and canceling out of embarrassment

Now a tournament implies prizes. What would be the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes? Assuming this will be a team format of some type with rules similar to best ball in golf to offset the likely huge difference in players skill.

• 1st: A meal with Ralph and co. (split check) + hat saying Killstream Krew Bowling Champs 2022
• 2nd: Special event hat saying Killstream Krew Bowling Runner Up 2022
• 3rd: Random assortment of excess Killstream merchandise.

Shirts would be better but that implies knowing sizes. Hats on the other hand can be bought without any thought about the person who wears it. This whole thing will be 4 months of constant hype building to scales that cannot meet expectations. Hope to see video of Ralph training at the lanes in preparation and pictures of the expensive ball and shoes he will buy then never use again. Ralph's only goal will be to make enough money to cover the cost of Wrestlemania and remember as always no refunds.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

If I decide to watch this, how will I be able to tell Ralph apart from a bowling ball? Especially if he's wearing all black, as fat people are known to do.

Bowling balls are smooth, while the gunt is covered in boils and oddly misshapen like an elderly man’s STD-infected scrotum.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph is so rotund, that I would not be surprised that in place of a bowling ball, they used him to roll into the pins to knock them down.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ralph is so rotund, that I would not be surprised that in place of a bowling ball, they used him to roll into the pins to knock them down.

Bowling balls have strength and solidity. The Gunt is soft and mushy like his brain.

 

[CringeMomma]

 

[Beavis]

Calling it now: He will fail to sell tickets to this “invitational” and it will not happen. He’ll blame aylawgs for “canceling” him in the DFW area.

He's banking on Dick's fans to buy the majority of the tickets.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Who’s going to bite the bullet and pay to get an accurate height measurement of Ralph?

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Meigh's due date is in April yet Ralph is going to bail to attend wrestlemania which is a two-night event with a combined 12 hours....lmfao.

 

[MeltyTW]

Ralph is so rotund, that I would not be surprised that in place of a bowling ball, they used him to roll into the pins to knock them down.

His gunt grease would throw off the oil patterns, it'll be the equivalent of just throwing all the ground water in a landfill down the lane.

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Isn't Meigh meant to be giving birth around that time?

Who gives a fuck Ralph's gotta bowl to the 42 people who likes his tweet lol, fun fact in Texas they used recycled shit water to hydrate their lawns, I assume that's why gunt is going because otherwise setting up a bowling event out of town for him even is just stupid and pointless. Even more so with his horrifying child being born around that time and with something bound to sell far less than a hundred tickets

Who’s going to bite the bullet and pay to get an accurate height measurement of Ralph?

No need we have both the pins and balls to measure as well as any other patrons or any of his paypigs all of them being doxed at this point probably with posted heights.

 

[The Big Dream]

Will the Gunt get its own little matching bowling shirt or something?

I bet $10 that if he gets a bowling shirt, it shows up in his next Christmas photo. Hell, maybe even his next court case.

 

[CringeMomma]

Idk but I do hope this is the grand location Ralphs "friend" owns. https://www.yelp.com/biz/lakes-lanes-the-colony

 

[BlueArmedDevil]

I bet $10 that if he gets a bowling shirt, it shows up in his next Christmas photo. Hell, maybe even his next court case.

Will it be killstream merch or just some tacky Walmart special?

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

He is too round to bowl, he's the sort of clown who will try to hurl the ball, let's hope gravity gets to do its thing with the sloshing gunt.

 

[Herpes Complex]

I'm working out the pros/cons
Pros:
Get to introduce myself as "Hello gunt, I'm Maury's advance man"
Constant referrals to convicted pornographer.
Fill awkward silences with questions about his first crotchfruit
Possibility of seeing a 5'1" fat man hit the floor
Cons:
It's Dallas
Physical contact with Gunt
Getting photographed with said gunt
Spending a hundred bucks for the whole thing. I can get one hour with a midget Cher inpersonator for that much