4/22/2016 - Reset the counter! Phil Almost Raped By A Leering, Consenting White Male -

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Smutley

Kill Count: 2
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
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And look at that he has the ready made excuse for why he "left portland" (no one likes him) and how housing didn't meet his security standards (they looked at him and realized he was a dude)
 
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GetShrekt

kiwifarms.net
Does he really think Jordan's going to try and kill him if he moves too close to him? Even Jordan of all men has better things to do than harass or assault Phil. :story:

Also we all know Philly-boy is either making up this story or pussed out and ran away. Maybe it was a true and honest Latinx who didn't like this fat white gringo and his ugly, racist tattoos?

In any case Phil wouldn't have to pack much if he had any priorities. Why does he still carry around sex toys if nobody's going to have sex with him and why bother keeping multiple sets of clothes if he's ever only going to wear (and shit) one outfit?
 

APerson

Official Lolcattle Abductor
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 87095

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And look at that he has the ready made excuse for why he "left portland" (no one likes him) and how housing didn't meet his security standards (they looked at him and realized he was a dude)
That wasn't a cis guy trying to rape you! That was a nonpassing transnonbinarynan0girl trying to express her admiration for your amazingly HAES-y self! You're a transphobe!
 

TrippinKahlua

Hosting a professional event at a Sheraton Hotel
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Look at this! Phil! You are doing it!

You fled California to Oregon like a week ago, and now you are going right back to California!

I like how you think you just have the money to afford Greyhounds like this. Of course, someone is probably going to get mad at you, and you will expect Salem, Oregon to be acceptive of your unfunnyness and Greyhound there.
 
L

LD 3187

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Unless he can prove the guy was actually threatening him instead of saying things like "Hey, why you have a facist axe on your head?", Phil just told everyone he randomly assaulted a dude. This is the same guy who gets frustrated that the trans community thinks he is a bad influence. :story:
 

VLAD

I may be but small, but I will die a colossus.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
"Phoenix Flame" has decided to let Phil stay at their place. I hope Phil takes him up on that offer because it will only be a matter of time before Phoenix becomes another Kiwi.
Or maybe one of Phil's previous hosts can clue Phoenix in before this comes to pass.

Not to say more Kiwis is a bad thing, but more people having to shave Phil's back? That's a bad thing.
 

Taily Puff

Ready to Begin
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's like how CWC looks in the mirror, and all his brain is able to come up with is "Long hair. I look like Britney Spears!"

Phil has systematically done everything he can be to be less attractive (on an already unappealing canvas). He's eaten himself into a perpetual bloat. He's tattooed himself everywhere with severely disjointed, clashing, mismatched, uninteresting and poorly designed ink. He smells disgusting. He dresses like he grew up in a sex dungeon where no one ever actually had an orgasm out of sheer ineptitude.

Phil's put himself in that special zone where no straight man, gay man, straight woman, OR lesbian would have even a PASSING physical attraction to him. He's so physically unappealing that we don't even have to talk about how disgusting his personality is, because no one would even get that far.

Yet he's always being raped and harassed. By straight white men specifically. Not just men, like no black guy has ever slapped his ass and no asian dude has stared at him from across the store. It's always white guys. Because Phil has written poetry about his daddy "Colonizing" his body, because it's his not so secret fetish. And because he's a terrible unimaginative liar.
 

Psycho

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Yet he's always being raped and harassed. By straight white men specifically. Not just men, like no black guy has ever slapped his ass and no asian dude has stared at him from across the store. It's always white guys. Because Phil has written poetry about his daddy "Colonizing" his body, because it's his not so secret fetish. And because he's a terrible unimaginative liar.

In his defense, I wouldn't expect Phil to be raped or assaulted by black or hispanic or asian people since he doesn't interact with any of them. He only hangs out around other white people at places like Whole Foods or Starbucks, so of course it's only white people who assault him.
 

Picklemaker

Literal jackbooted oppressor.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Cis hetero men don't grab fat smelly tattooed men out of nowhere, Phil.
I'm reminded of a few 'tists I've known who will keep doing the same damn thing, oblivious to every complaint and explicit demand that they stop, until "out of nowhere and without provocation" someone gets physical.
 

Taily Puff

Ready to Begin
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He only hangs out around other white people at places like Whole Foods or Starbucks, so of course it's only white people who assault him.

True. He's a total white suburbanite hippie. He just happens to be wearing an anarchist Halloween costume year round because it hit him how boring he really is as a person.

Also, that clickbait article is hilarious. "I dyed my hair neon green, pierced my face seventeen times, and covered my body in elaborate tattoos so I would blend in! STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO ME SHITLORD!"
 

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