You're a wizard ari
I’ll begin by not naming Phil by his actual name because he change it so often that not even him remembers which one he used last. In any case, this is a two person apartment, you draw your conclusions while I act like a passive-aggressive cunt.
After leeching him a couple of months, I’ve been forced to throw his way whatever pocket change I had after my runs to the liquor store in hopes he doesn’t bitch too much about rent but after year of this, I got enough.
I shouldn’t complain, as the fat bastard took me in on my low point but his constant squealing and sex demands finally drove me nuts. I should have known from the beginning this gig was a temporary thing but beggars can’t be choosers.
You see, I can’t live without out-bitching others. If they are neat, I need to be an OCD ridden obsessive cunt. If they are pigs, I’ll be the fucking Goblin King. I can’t help it. There’s no way I’ll be second fiddle to anyone, no matter what but Phil is a fucking filthy pig to the point he broke me and HAD to clean after him. Imagine doing basic stuff like taking out the trash. Just imagine.
Also he eats my food. Hell, he eats whatever he can find. Even after telling him some bullshit about dietary needs, he still would munch whatever is at hand just to avoid getting something for himself. I do feel guilty about it sometimes. I mean, I did leech him for so long but the annoying fuck won’t stop doing it.
Lately he started believing himself some sort of ANTIFA soldier or super-weapon or whatever. I’m ok with it (I find it hilarious) but after some time he started bitching about getting a real gun, not his usual airsoft toys and discount knives.
I know he went shooting with some of his pals so I started to grow restless and now he claims to have a firearm in the house. I tried to find it, those things can be sold for some serious booze money around here but I couldn’t. I think that might be another of his countless lies but I can’t stand the thought of the pig handling a gun around me, while I sleep or passed-out drunk so I came out with a “40% suicidal” trans multi bullshit to avoid his agro and bolt with the perfect excuse at the same time.
I found a new gig in the Midwest with some other rube. I’m getting old and sexual favors are been proven more and more ineffective, I need to take what I can get. I’ve created this other money whirlpool in hopes for some internet petty change and as soon as I can afford a ticket bus, I’ll get out of this stinkhole.
Thanks for letting me survive in your junkyard, little pig but I can’t stand you any longer, no matter what. So long, sucker.
Here’s my e-begging site again, just in case you forgot. Peace out, yo.
Jon does say "a wonderful platonic relationship". One of the first thing Phil said to Jon was that he wasn't going to fuck him.Weird, Jon didn’t mention that Phil was his girlfriend. Almost as if the relationship was a sham in which he shamelessly manipulated an exceptional individual into taking him in and subsequently used said relationship every time he wanted something.
I seem to recall that the declaration of asexuality came later. I remember Jon making a FML post about it, then swiftly backpedaling when people pointed out that it’s not very woke to deny someone’s asexuality.Jon does say "a wonderful platonic relationship". One of the first thing Phil said to Jon was that he wasn't going to fuck him.
All through his life, the right decisions that Phil has made can be counted with the fingers of one hand. This is one of them.