Orbiter [5 Mar 2019] FRIENDSHIP IMPLOSION! - Slingblade tells his side of the story (and by "story" I mean lie).

[Ted_Breakfast]

What he does is aims his fake gun vaguely in the general direction of a camera, then squats and makes a face like he's shitting himself.

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With his derpy tard eyes that go in opposite directions, it's unlikely he has very good depth perception and probably couldn't hit anything even with practice.

It's amazing how much he looks like Bill Dauterive.

 

[Damn Near]

It's amazing how much he looks like Bill Dauterive.

Bill had real experience handling firearms and was truly loved by people in his life, though

 

[The Dude]

Bill had real experience handling firearms and was truly loved by people in his life, though

Bill was also more intelligent, supported himself via gainful employment, was a real soldier, and made a more convincing and attractive woman.

 

[Super Colon Blow]

I don't think he's being entirely unreasonable if this account was TRUE and HONEST. Not that Phil shouldn't be allowed to own firearm, but they do share a home and have talked about it before. I'm arguably the gunniest sperg on KF, but I would never push it on someone who was terrified of guns because they were suicidal or whatever. I've taught a bunch of friends to shoot. Some are honest to god libs who have no desire to pick up a gun again, but they wanted to understand them. They felt comfortable with me teaching them because they know it would be done safely and correctly.

A responsible adult would say, tell the roommate that they intend to purchase a firearm and work out if there is a way to break the lease without incurring penalties and give the roommate time to find a place to move. Maybe they could find a friend willing to secure the firearm in their home while the two roommates work out their respective living situations. There are a number of options non-exceptional individuals would consider.

I would purchase a trigger lock and keep the only key on my keychain. I would not reveal the existence of the gun.

I love me some target practice, but I'm not gonna put a suicidal person in danger for it.

 

[The Dude]

I would purchase a trigger lock and keep the only key on my keychain. I would not reveal the existence of the gun.

I love me some target practice, but I'm not gonna put a suicidal person in danger for it.

You're also not a low-functioning, edgy mongoloid hell bent on gaining the attention and acceptance of other edgy mongos. You likely know how to use sights and actually hit targets smaller than a dirt berm.

 

[Ted_Breakfast]

Bill was also more intelligent, supported himself via gainful employment, was a real soldier, and made a more convincing and attractive woman.

Being an Army barber is also an important job.

I like to think that human life is sacred, but Phil is...well...at least he makes us laugh.

 

[The Dude]

Being an Army barber is also an important job.

I like to think that human life is sacred, but Phil is...well...at least he makes us laugh.

I like to think that there is something of worth in everyone. I like to think that. But the practical side of me realizes that there are just some people who have little to no value. People like Phil, CWC, Slingblade...the best you can say about them is that they're good for an occasional laugh. Hell, even a total shit person like Russell Greer contributes to society by having gainful employment and paying taxes instead of just been a drain on resources and tax dollars. Yeah, it's a shitty thing to say, but reality is often shitty.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I like to think that there is something of worth in everyone. I like to think that. But the practical side of me realizes that there are just some people who have little to no value. People like Phil, CWC, Slingblade...the best you can say about them is that they're good for an occasional laugh. Hell, even a total shit person like Russell Greer contributes to society by having gainful employment and paying taxes instead of just been a drain on resources and tax dollars. Yeah, it's a shitty thing to say, but reality is often shitty.

I’d argue that Chris is an outsider artist. What he creates may be stupid or bizarre, but it’s something that people are willing to pay for.

Phil? Not so much. He contributes nothing to the society that pays for him and pretends he’s out to destroy it, like the teenager who slags their parents off while relying on them to keep him alive.

As for Toren, if he died, the world would lose nothing. Like Phil, he talks a big game about activism, but does nothing but tweet, e-beg and vomit.

 

[The Dude]

I’d argue that Chris is an outsider artist. What he creates may be stupid or bizarre, but it’s something that people are willing to pay for.

Phil? Not so much. He contributes nothing to the society that pays for him and pretends he’s out to destroy it, like the teenager who slags their parents off while relying on them to keep him alive.

As for Toren, if he died, the world would lose nothing. Like Phil, he talks a big game about activism, but does nothing but tweet, e-beg and vomit.

And I'd argue that people buying CWC's "art" goes along with the whole "good for a laugh" thing. Kinda like someone buying an album of Bill Hicks standup, except that Bill Hicks was intentionally funny.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Phil's the one idiot you see at every range; the one that looks down a loaded barrel, fires off an entire magazine in seconds because quantity beats accuracy and wanders around with a loaded gun, playfully pointing it at people and/or pretending to shoot at them.

 

[muh_moobs]

Phil is too afraid of dying to go full Aloha Snackbar and strap a suicide bomb to himself. But someone could suck up to him, stroke his ego, make him feel important and part of "the cause", and use him to drop off a bomb or set him up to take the fall for something else. He's the perfect fall guy for some radical Leftist group. Just have him at the right place at the right time to get scooped up by the law while they slink away into the shadows. Phil has a long history of posting violent rhetoric and threats to his social media. He was once investigated by the Secret Service when one of his rétarded anime doodles was taken as a possible threat. Someone as stupid, clueless, and eager to be included as Phil could EASILY be manipulated in such a way. And he'd go along with with that goofy mongo grin on his moon face, blissfully unaware that he's being set up to take the wrap for his new "friends". All they'd need to do is not let him know their real identities or where they live. It would be quite easy, really.

"Phil, take this bag and put on this vest, we're going to kill cops. We just called in that you found this suitcase full of drugs to draw them here. We have a group of snipers on the roof across the street, but they're hiding so they don't get spotted. When the cops come, push this button to send the signal to the sniper team to fire."

If you want to trick Philth into going full snackbar and spending his afterlife being railed by 72 Chris-Chans in his neovag, that would work.

 

[The Dude]

"Phil, take this bag and put on this vest, we're going to kill cops. We just called in that you found this suitcase full of drugs to draw them here. We have a group of snipers on the roof across the street, but they're hiding so they don't get spotted. When the cops come, push this button to send the signal to the sniper team to fire."

If you want to trick Philth into going full snackbar and spending his afterlife being railed by 72 Chris-Chans in his neovag, that would work.

Phil would probably refuse to wear the vest because its heavy and he's already carrying the suitcase. Because he has no strength and is lazy as fuck.

 

[muh_moobs]

Phil would probably refuse to wear the vest because its heavy and he's already carrying the suitcase. Because he has no strength and is lazy as fuck.

"Look, we all did it. Remember that shooting in Dallas? That was us. Now if you want to stay in the crew, prove it. Otherwise you're out."

 

[LW 916]

Phil is about as deadly as the common cold.

Don't shit on the common cold like that. Sometimes, colds actually kill people.

 

[Ted_Breakfast]

I like to think that there is something of worth in everyone. I like to think that. But the practical side of me realizes that there are just some people who have little to no value. People like Phil, CWC, Slingblade...the best you can say about them is that they're good for an occasional laugh. Hell, even a total shit person like Russell Greer contributes to society by having gainful employment and paying taxes instead of just been a drain on resources and tax dollars. Yeah, it's a shitty thing to say, but reality is often shitty.

I don't mind it in CWC's case quite as much because he makes me laugh a lot. A good Chris video legitimately makes me happy. Phil doesn't make anyone happy, least of all himself.

 

[Nigonidas]

Heh. Toren's "dietary restrictions" are almost certainly him discovering that cirrhosis leads to certain foods causing a less than desirable bodily effect. If you thought Toren was wild now just wait for the wet brain to kick in. Gonna be enough ammonia in his head to scrub down a city block.

 

[ON 190]

Gonna be enough ammonia in his head to scrub down a city block.

Which is enough, roughly, to begin to start sanitizing a corner of Phil's apartment.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Heh. Toren's "dietary restrictions" are almost certainly him discovering that cirrhosis leads to certain foods causing a less than desirable bodily effect. If you thought Toren was wild now just wait for the wet brain to kick in. Gonna be enough ammonia in his head to scrub down a city block.

I doubt there are any restrictions in reality. Jon just wanted yet another way to paint himself as a victim and Phil - who lest we forget considers Jon his best friend - as thoughtless and possibly malicious. It’s not enough for Jon to have an asshole roomie who eats his food, his very life must be in danger.

The only dietary restriction Jon’s ever had was “too hungover to keep anything down.”

 

[Nigonidas]

I doubt there are any restrictions in reality. Jon just wanted yet another way to paint himself as a victim and Phil - who lest we forget considers Jon his best friend - as thoughtless and possibly malicious. It’s not enough for Jon to have an asshole roomie who eats his food, his very life must be in danger.

The only dietary restriction Jon’s ever had was “too hungover to keep anything down.”

Rate me slow but have we seen a Phil response to this yet?

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Rate me slow but have we seen a Phil response to this yet?

Not directly. Note here that he reposts Slingblade’s e-begging which slags Phil off in the description. I don’t know if that’s because Phil doesn’t read the shit he reposts (he is barely literate, after all) or Toren just has him so under the thumb that he’ll do anything.

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Or possibly Mr Araujo couldn’t figure out who Toren’s roommate “Ari” was supposed to be.