Prison Letters (6/13/22) - New Chris Jail Letter to Helena - Bella was possessed by demons and had a "pedo scheme", Helena attempted to collaborate with Chris as he's creating a new book, Soul Bonding is now just holding hands

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Trigger Me Timbers

Reformed Kekistani
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Aug 21, 2018
Eels and the Eggman stop being such faggots and show the full letter.
yeah honestly if they just gonna fucking transcribe the letter they might as well just fucking upload the thing.

also what Third World country is eels in where he has to do his word processing on his phone and it’s not even set to English since his spellcheck I think that every single word in the English language is misspelled?
 

NaggotFigger

Warsfag and sperg.
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Feb 6, 2021
Funny how Chris keeps saying the merge is complete, but then immediately says that it's still in progress and taking a while. IIRC this is at least the third time he's said something like this, with the first being when he was the first jail letter we got ("the merge is literally completed and concluding"). I know autism is a hell of a drug, but it takes some real lunacy to contradict the statement you made two words ago.
That's some shit that Chris would say. He keeps looping the same shit about the merging over and over again, and he still keeps doing that. It's just slowly revolves into pure boredom.
At this point, all letters from Chris are boring, unless if something funny or big happened in his life, then letters from these situation would get interesting. If there is a letter from him from the Homeless era came out, then it should be fun enough for milk.
 

Rogowski

one tree per nerd
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He's confirmed that Barb's not home, and the sacrafice to return home sounds like he's going to have to give something up as part of what ever plea he's being offered or at least views it as some sacrafice at least.
Someone’s already mentioned this but I’m putting my money on the “great sacrifice” Chris will make is having to plead guilty in court.
 

Got Milk!

It's always a fucking tranny... every time - Null
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May 7, 2022
I wonder if he can foresee the part where he's not going back to the temple/14BC?
If barb's no longer there, I can't imagine anyone is paying for it and if it's been over 90 days it can be foreclosed on(afaik). Especially being vacant and no attempt to render payment being made. I think that's the sacrifice he's going to make, whether he knows it or not.
 

Rogowski

one tree per nerd
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Assuming Chris gets out with his freedom intact (unlikely) he's definitely going to get some trespassing charges for snooping around 14BLC when the bank sells it to some family.
Oh man, imagine being a young adult with no clue who Chris is; you’re starting a new family and you buy a house at a steal of a price for reasons the realtor doesn’t want to explain to you.

Then one day Chris shows up out of the blue, fresh out of jail and in need of his first shower on the outside. He’s frantically trying to get inside with keys that will never work in that door again and all you hear is stress sighs and mutterings about a Sonic Jew Temple.

After a few moments there’s silence and you start to relax when you look out the window and BOOM, you’re jumpscared by Chris with his big retarded face pressed against the window with his hand binoculars and he’s moaning and bitching about how he had foreknown of your arrival to his Sonic Jew Headquarters and to confuse you further he’s explaining to you how he’s actually Jesus Christ and among which you need to let him in or else you’ll fail his divine test.
 
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BobJones997

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Apr 6, 2017
I wonder if he can foresee the part where he's not going back to the temple/14BC?
If barb's no longer there, I can't imagine anyone is paying for it and if it's been over 90 days it can be foreclosed on(afaik). Especially being vacant and no attempt to render payment being made. I think that's the sacrifice he's going to make, whether he knows it or not.
Someone actually made a payment on it about a week ago. It's safe from foreclosure (for now).
 

A-№1

A Hobo With Options
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Sep 6, 2013
Someone’s already mentioned this but I’m putting my money on the “great sacrifice” Chris will make is having to plead guilty in court.

That or he's giving up on ever returning to his temple at 14BLC (which he's already moved to CWCville in his mind).


Then one day Chris shows up out of the blue, fresh out of jail and in need of his first shower on the outside. He’s frantically trying to get inside with keys that will never work in that door again and all you hear is stress sighs and mutterings about a Sonic Jew Temple.

Whoever flips 14BLC should install an "IN CASE OF HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISTIC BREAK GLASS" emergency box in the entryway filled with cans of bear mace and a phone with 911 on speed dial. When the new homeowners ask what that's all about, tell them, "You'll see."
 

Rogowski

one tree per nerd
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It stands to reason though that they wouldn’t be paying taxes on a house they were about to lose. I know the Chandlers aren’t known for their cunning business strategies but the fact that it’s been basically confirmed that a relative is helping Barb out should give support to the idea they are tending to the home as well.
 

Smleman303

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Feb 16, 2020
It stands to reason though that they wouldn’t be paying taxes on a house they were about to lose. I know the Chandlers aren’t known for their cunning business strategies but the fact that it’s been basically confirmed that a relative is helping Barb out should give support to the idea they are tending to the home as well.
The question is why? Why keep a money pit that she can't return to? I know in some areas (mine for example), rates and taxes do not stop on empty properties.
 

JulioVasquez

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Apr 1, 2022
The only thing worse than reading the boring, repetitive, autistic ramblings of these letters is reading a genuinely retarded attempt at summarising them.

Lol at Chris still pining for Cole though. Acting all offended that he’s not around: “um… come on Cole, where are you? I raped our mom, among which!” Like an utterly warped version of siblings arguing over checking in on an ailing parent.