6/22/2019 - Tom finds a new way to wipe his ass - Scientists are said to be astounded..


True & Honest Fan
Sep 26, 2017
Like many other lolcows, Tom has a long and storied history of struggle against his autism-afflicted digestive system, that much should be clear by now.

Yet Tom is unique among his fellow lolbovine kind, for he tends to frequently go on public diatribes describing his sharting struggles in autistic and painful detail, as opposed to other infamous lolcows, who only admitted it in private chats.

I personally think that to be able to put this new piece of content in its proper context, a short rundown of Tom's past diarrhea-fuelled diatribes would be useful, so let us walk down the brown brick road, shall we?

Tom has admitted that much to his mother's chagrin, he has had sharting problems since he was a retarded kid in what was an all-time great Tom sperg-out:



He also admitted to soiling his clothes on a regular basis with explosive sharts, and he thinks that the problem stems from his "metabolic deficiencies" that stem from the clash between his female brain and male gonads, as opposed to his normal everyday diet of human refuse:



He even admitted to walking around with soiled pants, proving that shame and Tom are not friends at all:


Well now he's found a brand-new solution to the extremely complicated, age-old problem of effectively wiping one's own ass like an adult..

No longer will he require toilet paper like normal human beings, and researchers will surly glance in envy at his novel, inventive solution.. A wet wash cloth.


(Also note the non-commital answer to taking a shower, it's like he has an allergy to hygiene)
Many thanks to @yawning sneasel and @Zeitgeist.

Further reading:
Tom's Guide to Sharting Yourself

Underestimated Nutria

May 2, 2019
I would be horrified if someone used my shower as an ass cleaning arena.
So I got two disagrees to my comment.

Am I to understand that Americans are happy with their guests deciding NOT to wipe after a greasy American poop, but instead to allow the feces and e. Coli to be washed onto the shower floor surface the whole family walks on while barefoot?? How is this considered acceptable behavior in any part of the 🗺???

I raped a dog 2day

Feb 16, 2018
It’s almost par for course that lolcows unnecessarily shit themselves. ADF, Chris and now Tommy. Who’s next? Amber Lynn? The Slaton sisters?