6-22-2019 - Tom finds a new way to wipe his ass - Scientists are said to be astounded..


MovieBahb ォ運ム
True & Honest Fan
Like many other lolcows, Tom has a long and storied history of struggle against his autism-afflicted digestive system, that much should be clear by now.

Yet Tom is unique among his fellow lolbovine kind, for he tends to frequently go on public diatribes describing his sharting struggles in autistic and painful detail, as opposed to other infamous lolcows, who only admitted it in private chats.

I personally think that to be able to put this new piece of content in its proper context, a short rundown of Tom's past diarrhea-fuelled diatribes would be useful, so let us walk down the brown brick road, shall we?

Tom has admitted that much to his mother's chagrin, he has had sharting problems since he was a exceptional kid in what was an all-time great Tom sperg-out:

He also admitted to soiling his clothes on a regular basis with explosive sharts, and he thinks that the problem stems from his "metabolic deficiencies" that stem from the clash between his female brain and male gonads, as opposed to his normal everyday diet of human refuse:

He even admitted to walking around with soiled pants, proving that shame and Tom are not friends at all:

Well now he's found a brand-new solution to the extremely complicated, age-old problem of effectively wiping one's own ass like an adult..

No longer will he require toilet paper like normal human beings, and researchers will surly glance in envy at his novel, inventive solution.. A wet wash cloth.


(Also note the non-commital answer to taking a shower, it's like he has an allergy to hygiene)
Many thanks to @yawning sneasel and @Zeitgeist.

Further reading:
Tom's Guide to Sharting Yourself

Underestimated Nutria

I would be horrified if someone used my shower as an ass cleaning arena.
So I got two disagrees to my comment.

Am I to understand that Americans are happy with their guests deciding NOT to wipe after a greasy American poop, but instead to allow the feces and e. Coli to be washed onto the shower floor surface the whole family walks on while barefoot?? How is this considered acceptable behavior in any part of the 🗺???

I raped a dog 2day

It’s almost par for course that lolcows unnecessarily shit themselves. ADF, Chris and now Tommy. Who’s next? Amber Lynn? The Slaton sisters?

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino