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Off-Topic [6 Dec 18] Phil Has A NightmareDefends his hovel with totally bad ass gunfighting against Kiwi Operatives / Literally Shaking

Discussion in 'Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici' started by Graffiti canvas, Dec 6, 2018.

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  1. If we raided his apartment, the toxic stench would suffocate us. He has nothing to worry about since he is so toxic that he had immunity to his own stench.
     
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    Midlife Sperglord

    Midlife Sperglord Sperging over console gaming.

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  2. Of all the videos of Phil out there, none show this fatass actually running. Now, if we're to say actually invade Phil's hovel, and we got away with something precious to him, I believe we would be able to outrun him, hell, we wouldn't even need a getaway car. If Phil can actually run, he probably runs like Chris does, with the added benefit of tripping over those trenched feet of his. So long story short, we have nothing to worry about because we will be long gone before fatass decides to start running for us.
     
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    nvrwastetree

    nvrwastetree Identifies as an attack helicopter

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  3. >Phil's dream
    >Shit that never happened
    Pick two
     
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    OLE PISS

    OLE PISS Phil's makeup artist

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  4. Question: what do we look like in Phil's dreams?
    His dad.
     
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    Positron

    Positron Ho ho ho! CNN confirms my existence!
    True & Honest Fan

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  5. Maybe his body could be sold as pig feed, but that’s the best I can think of.
     
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    Tragi-Chan

    Tragi-Chan Godmaster Reverend
    True & Honest Fan

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  6. These poor animals don't deserve such a cruel treatment.
    Better force-feed his body to the captured trannies and observe the results Mengele style.
     
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    Purple Man

    Purple Man You can't
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  7. Trannies love to eat their own.
     
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    Positron

    Positron Ho ho ho! CNN confirms my existence!
    True & Honest Fan

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  8. Yeah, but Phil is a tranny just like he is a latino.
    He isn't.
     
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    Purple Man

    Purple Man You can't
    True & Honest Fan

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  9. I'm already working on the screenplay. This'll be the hit action movie of 2020.

    Of course it's not complete without an all-star cast:

    Vin Diesel as Philip Delici aka Izzy Hell
    Willem Dafoe as Null
    Danny Devito as Toren
    Carmen Electra as Xochi
    John Cena as Ravenor
    And Danny Mcbride as Mexican nieghbor
     
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    MasterDisaster

    MasterDisaster Bitch I'm back and I'm better than ever.
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  10. I’d have represented Phil using practical special effects, like the blob monster from Weird Science.
     
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    Tragi-Chan

    Tragi-Chan Godmaster Reverend
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  11. Don’t worry, Phil, you’re safe. You and the trash heap you call an apartment stink way too much for any kiwi to dare get close enough to shoot you.
     
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  12. While true we could do a grab and run and get a block and a half away before he could waddle down the stairs. It'd be a waste of a perfectly good Race War van, hell if he made it to the street we could pop her in reverse and see how fast he can run! Only down side would be having to wash the mashed potato off the bumper. But hey that what car washes are for.
     
    DumbCWCQuote

    DumbCWCQuote I never know what to put in these.

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  13. We could clean it using the tears of those who mourn for - actually, yeah, the car wash.
     
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    Tragi-Chan

    Tragi-Chan Godmaster Reverend
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  14. Lol @ 'I had a nightmare so give me money'. Not sure I can think of a more pathetic attempt at ebegging. Of course, Phil makes sure to say that the money is solely for his morale, so you know it's nothing important.
     
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    UselessRubberKeyboard

    UselessRubberKeyboard Jesus Christ, Rowena
    True & Honest Fan

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  15. Are you kidding? This guy would be more accurate.

    Laurence R. Harvey.

    [​IMG]
     
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    AnOminous

    AnOminous life of the mind
    True & Honest Fan Retired Staff

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  16. Who needs the Cyber Police when we have the Dream Police!
     
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  17. I like how he admits we're his worst nightmare.

    Also we know he's lying about what happened. Even in his dreams, he just whimpered and sharted himself when we appeared.
     
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    AnOminous

    AnOminous life of the mind
    True & Honest Fan Retired Staff

    kiwifarms.net
  18. They even have their own theme song
     
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    BlueArmedDevil

    BlueArmedDevil They said this bomb was clean

    kiwifarms.net
  19. Mr. Isaboy REALLY wants people (especially us) to believe he owns firearms. He even goes as far as taking photos of BB guns and airsoft toys (the cheapest ones available no less) to try to pass them off as real. He seems to get like this when he's feeling particularly powerless and ignored.

    Pro tip: we all know Phil is too poor due to the evil Capitalist system to be able to afford real firearms.

    And if anyone decided to invade Phil's home it would be an absolute cake walk. He is not only a weakling and a pushover, but he's also chicken-shit and would freeze up and shit himself if someone busted in, making him an easy target. If anyone actually wanted him dead, he'd be in Commie Poseur Hell by now. Stop playing the victim, Mr. Isaboy. No one cares enough about you to kill you. Not even us.
     
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    The Dude

    The Dude Just a Dude, dude...
    True & Honest Fan

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  20. He failed to prevent a single elderly fat alcoholic from invading his bedroom, so what are the chances that he could stop a force of heavily-armed Kiwi agents?
     
    • Agree Agree x 8
    Tragi-Chan

    Tragi-Chan Godmaster Reverend
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
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