Off-Topic [6 Dec 18] Phil Has A Nightmare - Defends his hovel with totally bad ass gunfighting against Kiwi Operatives / Literally Shaking

Midlife Sperglord

Sperging over console gaming.
kiwifarms.net
If we raided his apartment, the toxic stench would suffocate us. He has nothing to worry about since he is so toxic that he had immunity to his own stench.
 
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nvrwastetree

Identifies as an attack helicopter
kiwifarms.net
Lol, he thinks he'd catch us.
Of all the videos of Phil out there, none show this fatass actually running. Now, if we're to say actually invade Phil's hovel, and we got away with something precious to him, I believe we would be able to outrun him, hell, we wouldn't even need a getaway car. If Phil can actually run, he probably runs like Chris does, with the added benefit of tripping over those trenched feet of his. So long story short, we have nothing to worry about because we will be long gone before fatass decides to start running for us.
 

MasterDisaster

I'm here for the juice, baby.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm already working on the screenplay. This'll be the hit action movie of 2020.

Of course it's not complete without an all-star cast:

Vin Diesel as Philip Delici aka Izzy Hell
Willem Dafoe as Null
Danny Devito as Toren
Carmen Electra as Xochi
John Cena as Ravenor
And Danny Mcbride as Mexican nieghbor
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm already working on the screenplay. This'll be the hit action movie of 2020.

Of course it's not complete without an all-star cast:

Vin Diesel as Philip Delici aka Izzy Hell
Willem Dafoe as Null
Danny Devito as Toren
Carmen Electra as Xochi
John Cena as Ravenor
And Danny Mcbride as Mexican nieghbor
I’d have represented Phil using practical special effects, like the blob monster from Weird Science.
 

DumbCWCQuote

I never know what to put in these.
kiwifarms.net
Of all the videos of Phil out there, none show this fatass actually running. Now, if we're to say actually invade Phil's hovel, and we got away with something precious to him, I believe we would be able to outrun him, hell, we wouldn't even need a getaway car. If Phil can actually run, he probably runs like Chris does, with the added benefit of tripping over those trenched feet of his. So long story short, we have nothing to worry about because we will be long gone before fatass decides to start running for us.
While true we could do a grab and run and get a block and a half away before he could waddle down the stairs. It'd be a waste of a perfectly good Race War van, hell if he made it to the street we could pop her in reverse and see how fast he can run! Only down side would be having to wash the mashed potato off the bumper. But hey that what car washes are for.
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
While true we could do a grab and run and get a block and a half away before he could waddle down the stairs. It'd be a waste of a perfectly good Race War van, hell if he made it to the street we could pop her in reverse and see how fast he can run! Only down side would be having to wash the mashed potato off the bumper. But hey that what car washes are for.
We could clean it using the tears of those who mourn for - actually, yeah, the car wash.
 
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The Dude

My dad says that's for pussies.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Mr. Isaboy REALLY wants people (especially us) to believe he owns firearms. He even goes as far as taking photos of BB guns and airsoft toys (the cheapest ones available no less) to try to pass them off as real. He seems to get like this when he's feeling particularly powerless and ignored.

Pro tip: we all know Phil is too poor due to the evil Capitalist system to be able to afford real firearms.

And if anyone decided to invade Phil's home it would be an absolute cake walk. He is not only a weakling and a pushover, but he's also chicken-shit and would freeze up and shit himself if someone busted in, making him an easy target. If anyone actually wanted him dead, he'd be in Commie Poseur Hell by now. Stop playing the victim, Mr. Isaboy. No one cares enough about you to kill you. Not even us.
 
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