Off-Topic [6 Dec 18] Phil Has A Nightmare - Defends his hovel with totally bad ass gunfighting against Kiwi Operatives / Literally Shaking


Identifies as an attack helicopter
Mr. Isaboy REALLY wants people (especially us) to believe he owns firearms. He even goes as far as taking photos of BB guns and airsoft toys (the cheapest ones available no less) to try to pass them off as real. He seems to get like this when he's feeling particularly powerless and ignored.

Pro tip: we all know Phil is too poor due to the evil Capitalist system to be able to afford real firearms.

And if anyone decided to invade Phil's home it would be an absolute cake walk. He is not only a weakling and a pushover, but he's also chicken-shit and would freeze up and shit himself if someone busted in, making him an easy target. If anyone actually wanted him dead, he'd be in Commie Poseur Hell by now. Stop playing the victim, Mr. Isaboy. No one cares enough about you to kill you. Not even us.
Not even his imaginary bff xochi cares about him. Shit, she called him a fatass right after he was wheeled out of "surgery".


Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
I think he saw that Slingblade gets sympathy when he posts about nightmares, so Phil decided to try the same, albeit with the addition of his autistic power fantasies.
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Identifies as an attack helicopter
View attachment 610409
Phil is now having "flashbacks" of the Kiwi Farms home invasion nightmare. (original - archived)
Wtf?? Like Vietnam flashbacks?? I can guarantee that everyone that Phil's followed on Twitter, or the ones who accidentally follow his ass, are probably looking at Phil's tweet, either attempting to figure out what Phil's saying and who kiwi farms are, or they're sitting there, laughing/face palming themselves because of Phil's stupid post. So this tiny, insignificant nightmare Phil had is now triggering PTSD like symptoms. Phil's you're stupid if you honestly think anyone is going to reply saying what a brave troon you are, or of you're expecting them to hand over their money to you because you believe that people can't tell when you're fishing for sympathy. He should post this to Facebook to see how many laghing emotes he received. Go play with your toy guns or bother toren Phil.

He's really mad that no one cares, since you know he was hoping to use the massive amounts of prepared verbal garbage he has ready just for people asking about it. He's desperate for someone to talk and gib him pity.
He's probably sitting his fatass by his phone waiting on kengle to reply to him, since he's the only person that's actually bothered to talk to Phil. Phil's going to be sitting there for a long ass time because kengle isn't the brightest tool in the shed.

Cyber Bowling
I think he saw that Slingblade gets sympathy when he posts about nightmares, so Phil decided to try the same, albeit with the addition of his autistic power fantasies.
The inclusion of the power fantasy is what makes it actually kind of funny, because it completely ruins the point. If you want sympathetic asspats on Twitter, you have to make yourself look victimized and pathetic. Phil's apparent "nightmare" scenario is him getting ambushed, but somehow being a total badass to immediately wake up, fully arm himself, and murder a bunch of people in an apartment shootout, only getting shot a few times in the shoulder. It basically reads as "I'm afraid a bunch of people are going to have to break into my house and make me show off how much of a badass I am."

Then again, I guess having to resort to posting that for attention is in and of itself pretty pathetic, maybe Phil is just the 4-d chessmaster of fishing for asspats.


Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
At least this time he admits it was a dream unlike that other time gamergate tried to do a drive-by on him. Is Phil getting better?
I bet it started out as something that “happened” in real life, before he realised he couldn’t explain what happened to the bodies, why he’s not in hospital and why the police weren’t called.

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