[6 June '19] Phil claims to have fled the spud cave, now "settling into [his] new home" - "Loving it, visualizing what love I can give 440 square feet of Antifa Barracks 2.0"

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
I wonder how long it will take for him to completely fill up the apartment with pizza boxes.
Your typical greasy wop dago eats pizza at a rate of about 1.5 large pizzas per day, except on days when lasagne or an enormous bowl of spaghetti is available. Someone do the math, making sure to account for the square footage of Phil's collection of LARP props and pleather bondage shit.
Average large pizza box is approximately 1x1x3 so four boxes = 1 cubic foot of box.
Average floor-to-ceiling is 8'. 8x4=32 boxes to fill one square foot of floor space floor-to-ceiling.
32x440=14080 pizza boxes to fill the volume of the apartment.

Phil is phat, so he eats two pizzas per day. It will take him 7040 days to phill his phlat with pizza boxes, or the equivalent of nineteen years, three months, and three weeks.

Accounting for his hoard, which I estimate to only take up a 4x4 area of floor space if stacked for maximum garbage retention, it would take him seventeen years, six months, one week, and two days.
 

UselessRubberKeyboard

Mergin' n' spergin'
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Average large pizza box is approximately 1x1x3 so four boxes = 1 cubic foot of box.
Average floor-to-ceiling is 8'. 8x4=32 boxes to fill one square foot of floor space floor-to-ceiling.
32x440=14080 pizza boxes to fill the volume of the apartment.

Phil is phat, so he eats two pizzas per day. It will take him 7040 days to phill his phlat with pizza boxes, or the equivalent of nineteen years, three months, and three weeks.

Accounting for his hoard, which I estimate to only take up a 4x4 area of floor space if stacked for maximum garbage retention, it would take him seventeen years, six months, one week, and two days.
I wish you were around when I needed to copy someone's maths homework.

The problem with your theory is assuming Phil will stack the boxes neatly. In reality, he'll toss them in a pile and the space will be rapidly filled with a gaint sliding pyramid of greased cardboard. At least he won't struggle for insulation when it gets cold?
 

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
I wish you were around when I needed to copy someone's maths homework.

The problem with your theory is assuming Phil will stack the boxes neatly. In reality, he'll toss them in a pile and the space will be rapidly filled with a gaint sliding pyramid of greased cardboard. At least he won't struggle for insulation when it gets cold?
He will gradually push them around. You're right he'll likely end up with a pyramid, but he'll also push that pyramid towards the wall and end up with a neat stack. Repeat this enough times and he'll still end up with proper stacks of empty boxes.
 

Randy Lahey

Trailer Park Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Good news guys, I got permission from the boys upstairs to redirect one of the Kiwi Satellites to the Willamette River to look out for Phil if we can't zero in on his new address the old-fashioned way by sundown. The tracking device we planted on Phil's belt has stopped returning a signal for some reason.

Remember this is all classified so let's just hope Phil isn't lurking here or our plans go up in smoke.
Can we please just use the Kiwi-Star to blow up Portland? We can call it a mining accident or some shit.
 

Disgruntled Pupper

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's funny to watch as Phil openly throws away the LGBT community as he becomes more secure in his antifa exceptionalism. I've said it before, but it bears repeating that this man spent years using his status as being trans, homeless, and occasionally suicidal via plastic cutlery to get free meals and places to stay. But in the years since he got housing he's never once paid that forward and had someone come stay with him and the Vodka troll. Now he's so arrogant he's openly stating he never intends to pay that kindness back either- no trannys at Casa Spud, now you have to be antifa, and not just any antifa, but a deep fash basher like Phil. If any of Phil's new buddies are reading this, you should really take note. Phil will fire your bullets and eat your pizza and smoke your weed, but the day will never, ever come when he's the one sharing the bullets or the pizza or the weed.
 

Mogambo

stung by a scorpion
kiwifarms.net
This is looking like more proof that Phil wasn't actually evicted but chose to leave on his own, most likely to further his image of being an Antifa super soldier (remember when he insisted he would only live in a radical lesbian housing collective back in the day?) or because he thought it would help him solicit more donations. Or perhaps both.

What I'm really curious about is whether he now has two apartments. While Phil is one of the dumbest human beings I've ever seen, he is fairly successful at scamming people, surprisingly. I don't think he'd be so good at scamming the government, not without the help of someone actually holding his hand and walking him through it, but what if he's paying out of his tugboat or something? Or just mooching off another Antifa.tard?

Honestly, Phil is such a fucking hoarder that I could see him getting a second apartment just to house all his material garbage that he's accumulated over the years, just like he did with the various storage facilities over the years. Hell he's so fucking lazy that I could see him just moving house once his pile of rubbish and Hot Topic bondage gear gets too high.

On the other hand, Phil is also probably the only human being autistic enough to think that moving into a smaller, crappier apartment makes him more "hardcore," so of course he would do that to keep his image. Maybe worse, actually since he might have just done it in an attempt to have more money for shitty tattoos (though, oddly, he seems to have stopped with that lately) and cheese from Whole Foods.
 

Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's funny to watch as Phil openly throws away the LGBT community as he becomes more secure in his antifa exceptionalism. I've said it before, but it bears repeating that this man spent years using his status as being trans, homeless, and occasionally suicidal via plastic cutlery to get free meals and places to stay. But in the years since he got housing he's never once paid that forward and had someone come stay with him and the Vodka troll. Now he's so arrogant he's openly stating he never intends to pay that kindness back either- no trannys at Casa Spud, now you have to be antifa, and not just any antifa, but a deep fash basher like Phil. If any of Phil's new buddies are reading this, you should really take note. Phil will fire your bullets and eat your pizza and smoke your weed, but the day will never, ever come when he's the one sharing the bullets or the pizza or the weed.
No doubt when some Antifag in need does call on Phil, he’ll claim they aren’t proper a fash-basher like him.

Isn’t it funny that he went from “I must stay in Portland to continue my important work killing fascists for which I am thanked by strangers,” to “I have to get out of Portland” to “I’m in Portland.”
 

Deadpool

LET ME IN!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
It's funny to watch as Phil openly throws away the LGBT community as he becomes more secure in his antifa exceptionalism. I've said it before, but it bears repeating that this man spent years using his status as being trans, homeless, and occasionally suicidal via plastic cutlery to get free meals and places to stay. But in the years since he got housing he's never once paid that forward and had someone come stay with him and the Vodka troll. Now he's so arrogant he's openly stating he never intends to pay that kindness back either- no trannys at Casa Spud, now you have to be antifa, and not just any antifa, but a deep fash basher like Phil. If any of Phil's new buddies are reading this, you should really take note. Phil will fire your bullets and eat your pizza and smoke your weed, but the day will never, ever come when he's the one sharing the bullets or the pizza or the weed.
To be fair the LGBT community threw him away years ago. At this point it's more him accepting that reality and glomming onto something new to LARP and a community that he can mooch off until he wears out his welcome.
 

Coldgrip

Dragon Kick your ass into the Milky Way.
kiwifarms.net
This is looking like more proof that Phil wasn't actually evicted but chose to leave on his own, most likely to further his image of being an Antifa super soldier (remember when he insisted he would only live in a radical lesbian housing collective back in the day?) or because he thought it would help him solicit more donations. Or perhaps both.
I'm of the mind that if he is leaving of his own volition then perhaps the landlord gave him either a talking to, which Phil interpreted as an ultimatum to move, or maybe he really did tell spudkins that he ought to leave. In either case he's moving and I'd say that counts as a victory for us because it'll generate more content. As for the lesbian stuff, Phil wants a lot of things, but when he can't get what he wants he'll threaten suicide or make posts about fighting/being terrorized by the 'fash' in order to guilt people. When that doesn't work he'll settle for what people throw at him.
What I'm really curious about is whether he now has two apartments. While Phil is one of the dumbest human beings I've ever seen, he is fairly successful at scamming people, surprisingly. I don't think he'd be so good at scamming the government, not without the help of someone actually holding his hand and walking him through it, but what if he's paying out of his tugboat or something? Or just mooching off another Antifa.tard?
It's not so much he's successful at scamming people, it's that he's just another tard to the services he abuses. To them he's tard number 2,704,671. Nothing special and unless there's a reason to look closely at him will be largely ignored.

When it comes to scamming the government, specifically low-level scamming, if you keep your head down and mouth shut you can generally, about 90+% of the time you can get away with it, at least for a long while. Where things get sticky is when you're aiming a bit higher, like collecting a specific kind of disability. I'd argue that even if somebody is holding his hand and walking him through it he'd still botch it up. Even an overworked, apathetic government employee will pounce on a chance to catch a rat like Phil for stealing from Uncle Sam. It gives them a bit of joy when they do it. Unless somebody is doing it for him (which is fraud AFAIK) Phil would botch it and get caught.
 

beautiful person

accept my diversity
kiwifarms.net
What I'm thinking is that he was on a waiting list for another income-restricted/section 8 compatible place (probably put himself there after being scolded by the old landlord for being filthy and obnoxious), and a spot had finally opened up, which is why the move was seemingly so short notice.
 

Goddessoftheshire

I'm so very pretty!
kiwifarms.net
What I'm thinking is that he was on a waiting list for another income-restricted/section 8 compatible place (probably put himself there after being scolded by the old landlord for being filthy and obnoxious), and a spot had finally opened up, which is why the move was seemingly so short notice.
That and I'm sure he has a mental health case worker or social worker. Phil's tard wrangler probably was the one doing all the leg work as well as contacting various disability housing. I'm going with the case worker because social workers are so overburdened.
 

Xochi

But in the stone age...!
kiwifarms.net
It's funny to watch as Phil openly throws away the LGBT community as he becomes more secure in his antifa exceptionalism. I've said it before, but it bears repeating that this man spent years using his status as being trans, homeless, and occasionally suicidal via plastic cutlery to get free meals and places to stay. But in the years since he got housing he's never once paid that forward and had someone come stay with him and the Vodka troll. Now he's so arrogant he's openly stating he never intends to pay that kindness back either- no trannys at Casa Spud, now you have to be antifa, and not just any antifa, but a deep fash basher like Phil. If any of Phil's new buddies are reading this, you should really take note. Phil will fire your bullets and eat your pizza and smoke your weed, but the day will never, ever come when he's the one sharing the bullets or the pizza or the weed.
Even by Phil's standards, discarding the tranny community to try and infiltrate antifa was a derp move. Portland's tranny community will take Phil's word on just about anything and accomodate all his freeloading whiny bullshit, hence him getting away with couch-surfing LGBT youth shelters well into his 20s. Your average antifa goon wouldn't spit on Phil if he were on fire because he's an absolute waste of space who has nothing to offer to their cause beyond a lot of bouncing and squeaking.
 

Mogambo

stung by a scorpion
kiwifarms.net
I'm of the mind that if he is leaving of his own volition then perhaps the landlord gave him either a talking to, which Phil interpreted as an ultimatum to move, or maybe he really did tell spudkins that he ought to leave.
Possibly, though I suspect Phil knows full well he isn't being evicted and is just phishing for sympathy. Sorry I couldn't work another philthy Phil joke in there but that one was just asking for it. LOL. From Phil's Google review it seemed the landlord didn't know Phil was moving, and quite frankly if Phil was getting kicked out, I'd expect a whole bunch of re.tarded Facebook rants about transphobia and the "landlord class." We didn't really get that this time.

In either case he's moving and I'd say that counts as a victory for us because it'll generate more content.
We get that any time Phile does anything. I'm actually sort of disappointed we aren't getting a homeless saga part 2, or at least some good old fashion Phil social media rants. Ah well, he's inevitably going to start some drama with his new neighbours, especially when he realizes he doesn't get special treatment or have room for all his shit.

As for the lesbian stuff, Phil wants a lot of things, but when he can't get what he wants he'll threaten suicide or make posts about fighting/being terrorized by the 'fash' in order to guilt people. When that doesn't work he'll settle for what people throw at him.
Or just forget about it when a newer, shinier obsession gets stuck in his autistic little brain. The lesbian housing collective stuck out because it was so hilariously specific and unrealistic, and I suspect even Phil new it, but it combined together all of his autistic identity politics. It was just like Chris playing Mayor of CWCkville. You'll notice Phil pretty much forgot about it, and everything else LGBTQ, now that Antifa is his new obsession. Pretty funny considering all the tattoos and what not.

It's not so much he's successful at scamming people, it's that he's just another tard to the services he abuses.
Well I wasn't thinking about them so much as the individual people Phil scams money or crash space or even just sympathy off of, though he invariably burns a lot of bridges as attested to by how many of those same people inevitably join the farms. But yeah I remember back when he was still mooching off youth shelters. As I said, its going to be a hell of a lot harder for him to elicit sympathy as a fat, smell tattooed weirdo. People won't want to help him so much as just avoid him!

I'd argue that even if somebody is holding his hand and walking him through it he'd still botch it up.
Heh, true true. I suspect he's largely gotten as far as he is thus far only because of luck, sympathy and a fair bit of help from other wannabe SJWs, but all of those are inevitably going to run out sooner or later. I mean seriously by all rights Phil should probably have starved to death in a gutter somewhere long ago. Everything up to now has just sort of been delaying the inevitable.
 

Xochi

But in the stone age...!
kiwifarms.net
No doubt when some Antifag in need does call on Phil, he’ll claim they aren’t proper a fash-basher like him.
An Antifag wouldn't call on Phil because he doesn't have anything of use.

"Okay, if we're going to have a counter-presence at the upcoming fash rally we're going to need some supplies. Anyone know where we can get a breathable ball-gag with teeth marks in it, an airsoft helmet, some maps of a fictional South American country drawn on printer paper, a bike lock and a pleather bondage harness?"
 
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