He'll retcon his national service. Tell us all about your two wild years as a teenage girl with a gun, Mr Haskins-Delici.
[6 June '19] Phil claims to have fled the spud cave, now "settling into [his] new home" - "Loving it, visualizing what love I can give 440 square feet of Antifa Barracks 2.0"
- Thread starter Hellfire
- Start date
He'll retcon his national service. Tell us all about your two wild years as a teenage girl with a gun, Mr Haskins-Delici.
Nah Phil already tried being Israeli/Jewish back in the day, even fetishizing the IDF because yeah of course he would. He even said Australatina would segregate out straight people like Israel did to Palestinians (how a country of dykes and trannies was supposed to reproduce is never actually explained). He's kind of dropped that since, but he's still obsessed with it, he just sort of downplays it, but it makes it's way into his crap. The most telling recent example I can think of is the one where he copy pasted a timeline of Israel into Australatina and just put "South Africa" at one point, clearly referencing whatever he read (but utterly failed to comprehend) about Israel's relationship with South Africa during the Apartheid era when both nations were essentially isolated on the global stage.
Xochi has always been Israeli, at least as far back as I can remember Phil writing about his imaginary friends. Yes Xochi is also supposed to be a Mexican Jew but somehow also Israeli. I remember Phil once took a break from social media to pretend Xochi was "on vacation in Israel," and play acted that they were bicycling through the Palestinian Territories and were going to open an anarchist feminist tranny owned vegetarian restaurant in Israel... because nothing would threaten Zionist politics like a fat smelly autistic white guy in drag and his imaginary friend serving falafel to nobody in the middle of Gaza!!!
To his credit, Phil does seem to be dimly aware that Israel isn't particularly popular with the people he's trying to impress, but he still doesn't quite understand why. Honestly its kind of a moot point as I doubt Phil has any real interactions with anyone Antifa, and if he does, they're likely as autistic as he is, like that dumb cunt that took him to the firing range (before subsequently dropping him like a sack of potatos).
Someone should convince him to go try to save Tupac and assassinate the Prime Minister of Palestine.
I would LOVE to see Phil in Israel. Or Mexico, or any of the Latin American countries... actually, there's quite a substantial list of places where the average citizen would respond to Phil's particular brand of bullshit by beating him up or getting the cops to beat him up. Pretty much the entire non-White world has no time for people like Phil.
Phil will never leave the US. If anything scares him more than American minorities, it's foreigners. They don't even speak English! Just landing in a foreign airport would blow his tiny mind.
He completely panicked when a bus ran into a delay. Imagine how completely he'd melt down if he got stuck on a layover.
I imagine just taking off would cause him to have some kind of sensory overload or if his ears didn’t pop after takeoff and he had a headache or nosebleed he’d start flailing and have to be restrained. Then he gets to whatever utopia he’s at and realizes that maybe half the people have any proficiency with English and Google Translate isn’t a viable method for getting your point across, shits himself, and goes home (having similar issues on the return trip) and posts some long Facebook post about how he has learned more about whatever his flavor of the year for ethnic origin is.
It’s an entertaining thought, to me at least.
He likes Latin America so much, let's send him to Venezuela. I'd be willing to pitch in for his ticket. Let's ship him off to one of the neighbourhoods in Venezuela where people support their wife and six kids by playing RuneScape full-time because it pays more than any local job, and he can tell everyone there about how great socialism is.
Oh, wait, no he can't, because he doesn't speak Spanish.