[6TH-APR-2020] Born April 6th, 1982, DSP turns 38 today - where a piece of cake will have more personality than a human-being

[tzgnilki]

born 6th April 1982


hopefully this will serve as safe space to discuss and post about how much of a disaster his birthday stream is so it doesn't get lost in the general thread

prediction:

some outrageous tips goal, $1,200-$1,800

sympathy bait

pedo/tard vest & broke-back mountain cowboy hat will be worn

the cake will be home made by betty crocker herself

 

[Frogga]

I don’t think there was a single “fundraiser event” for all of March, so I wouldn’t put it past him to m1lk his birthday for a grand or more.

 

[The Last Stand]

38 years old and STILL can't play video games without stream chat FOR A LIVING.

Happy birthday, Dave.

 

[RouterDump]

Any bets on him whining about not getting any presents, just like last year?

 

[actually]

I don’t think there was a single “fundraiser event” for all of March, so I wouldn’t put it past him to m1lk his birthday for a grand or more.

He's been getting $200-300 just in tips from the tard vest. He also hasn't filed his taxes yet, so he doesn't know how much to beg for.

 

[Frogga]

He's been getting $200-300 just in tips from the tard vest. He also hasn't filed his taxes yet, so he doesn't know how much to beg for.

The new “vest streak” is pretty much a tips fundraiser spread out over multiple days / weeks. This makes me wonder if he’ll even make a ridiculous tip goal today, because he only puts on the vest if he hits the tips goal. That “vest streak” seems really important to him, especially during street fighter when he almost didn’t hit the goal.

Either that or he’ll say “I know the tips goal is $1,000 today, but if we hit $100 I’ll put on the vest and at $200 I’ll put on the cowboy hat!”

 

[Honzou]

Congratulations Phil you fat faggot.

Another birthday without a single friend or seeing family, we're all so jealous of you and your success. Let's hope this is the last birthday you get to celebrate in that condo.

 

[wahkando]

what an auspicious day

the birthWEEK has reached its zenith! it's only downhill from here sadly.

Congratulations Philip. You look so young for your age!

 

[actually]

The new “vest streak” is pretty much a tips fundraiser spread out over multiple days / weeks. This makes me wonder if he’ll even make a ridiculous tip goal today, because he only puts on the vest if he hits the tips goal. That “vest streak” seems really important to him, especially during street fighter when he almost didn’t hit the goal.

Either that or he’ll say “I know the tips goal is $1,000 today, but if we hit $100 I’ll put on the vest and at $200 I’ll put on the cowboy hat!”

His money-driven lizard brain recognizes that "vest streak" is a way for him to beg for money without technically begging for money. It enables the mental gymnastics that he needs to perform to rationalize that he has a big boy business.

 

[Lilly Philly Burnelli]

Guarantee he's gonna have an additional tips goal for his "fun pahsitive" birthday stream (in addition to the vest goal).

Spoiler: Clairvoyant pre-stream birthday rant

"As I told you guys, I am not in the best situation right now and I haven't done a fun uhhhh event in so fucking long, you know? So why wouldn't I do a fun tips goal for my birthday, you know what I mean? Contributions are not mandatory and I certainly dont uhhh expect that we hit the goal, just being completely honest with all of you, but if we do, by some chance, hit the uhhh birthday tips goal, you know, that would be super positive and amazing. And of course we're gonna have idiots who are gonna be negative and say things like 'wehhhh Phil is only doing this to beg for money!' and its like, do you guys not see that ummm this is a once a year thing? Once! That's it! One out of 365 fucking days a year? I feel like I can, you know, have a fun goal for you guys. And Dakkysmurf just said "are you going to do anything special if we hit the goal?" NO! That's not what this is about. Dakkysmurf, this is a goal for YOU guys! This is a stream for MY birthday khkhkhkhk So there you go."

 

[Neko GF]

38 years old with the finical planning skills of a 10-year-old.

 

[hector85]

whenever I'm feeling kinda bad about my situation, I just need to look to phil and think "this guy is my age lol" and everything is ok again.

 

[Comma]

I'm ready for the world's saddest birthday of the year.

 

[DiabeticSP]

Did he even get a gift last year? I know he got a calendar two christmases in a row.

 

[iLoveDoe]

Did he even get a gift last year? I know he got a calendar two christmases in a row.

According to him, no, just the $4000 from his parents to pay his taxes

But, really, I just believe Phil made his parents pay fully for his wedding.

I can but only guess that if Kat didn't bother to cook something up she sure as shit didn't make a cake either.

Edit: Phil says Kat made a cake for him however

 

[BallBuster]

According to him, no, just the $4000 from his parents to pay his taxes

But, really, I just believe Phil made his parents pay fully for his wedding.

Lol what wedding? Kat had a Goodwill 70s era wedding dress, Phil was probably wearing a suit his dad owned for 30 years, they didn’t have flowers, pictures, a reception, friends or family. No cake. They went to a court house and paid a filing fee. That’s it. That was their wedding.

 

[iLoveDoe]

Lol what wedding? Kat had a Goodwill 70s era wedding dress, Phil was probably wearing a suit his dad owned for 30 years, they didn’t have flowers, pictures, a reception, friends or family. No cake. They went to a court house and paid a filing fee. That’s it. That was their wedding.

He said he took more pics of each other and if people are interested enough he will post them, but, it never came to that

He now says he didn't get any presents

Yet the way he responded to that guy makes me think that Phil thinks his fans are a bunch of fucking idiots for a 38 yo man like him to still get bday presents (even though he cried a few times about him not getting anything last year and hoping he'll get something this year)

 

[Frogga]

Wasted opportunity not putting some $80 hairbrushes, tear-off calendars, and other weird “Phil gifts” on his amazon wishlist so people could buy him some birthday presents.

 

[actually]

Wasted opportunity not putting some $80 hairbrushes, tear-off calendars, and other weird “Phil gifts” on his amazon wishlist so people could buy him some birthday presents.

His "presents" will be a shitload of tips, if I had to guess. Let's see if that is true.

 

[iLoveDoe]

His "presents" will be a shitload of tips, if I had to guess. Let's see if that is true.

I'd be surprised if some whale wouldn't drop a big fat tip on him.