7/29 - Chris stranded at gas station

[Paige Matheson]

Has Chris tried moving the gear shift from park to neutral and back to park?
I had to do that in an old beater car I had.
That and the jiggling the steering wheel is all I can think of.

 

[Mason Verger]

View attachment 507022

Lol. I believe I called this.

Let the begging commence!

Shit, he probably won't even have to beg. His Paypal is probably blowing up right now.

A locked ignition isn't a huge catastrophe:
https://www.yourmechanic.com/article/how-to-diagnose-an-ignition-key-that-won-t-turn
It can be if it's 10 pm and you have nothing to your name but $20 and foam dragon wings.

 

[Buck Mullet]

I'm guessing the Sheetz he's stuck at is about an hour away. Lucky he seems to be out of the DC 'hood, but I don't know the area at all so hope he's safe. He really should just call the police. Maybe they will understand he's exceptional and fix his predicament. The steering column probably needs to be fiddled with or the key has to turn in the ignition with some weird torque. A tow for 60 miles back to 14B is not gonna be cheap, and unless the mechanism is literally falling apart in pieces it's probably just a subtle touch that will start the van, not Chris's specialty.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm guessing the Sheetz he's stuck at is about an hour away. Lucky he seems to be out of the DC 'hood, but I don't know the area at all so hope he's safe. He really should just call the police. Maybe they will understand he's exceptional and fix his predicament. The steering column probably needs to be fiddled with or the key has to turn in the ignition with some weird torque. A tow for 60 miles back to 14B is not gonna be cheap, and unless the mechanism is literally falling apart in pieces it's probably just a subtle touch that will start the van, not Chris's specialty.

Sounds to me like the tumbler is what's the matter, not the ignition. I once had this happen and it didn't work itself out after a couple hours, so I just said fuck it and beat open the part of the steering column that held the tumbler, pulled out the tumbler itself, and from then on started it with a flathead screwdriver.

I don't think Chris could do this, though, without just wrecking it entirely, and I don't think Blarb would be impressed with this "solution."

 

[Subconcious Offense]

Can't he just teleport the van into another dimension where he can carry it back to 14 Branchland Ct?

 

[Buck Mullet]

Sounds to me like the tumbler is what's the matter, not the ignition. I once had this happen and it didn't work itself out after a couple hours, so I just said fuck it and beat open the part of the steering column that held the tumbler, pulled out the tumbler itself, and from then on started it with a flathead screwdriver.

I don't think Chris could do this, though, without just wrecking it entirely, and I don't think Blarb would be impressed with this "solution."

Yeah, I think Chris mucking around with it is only gonna make it worse. What he needs right now is a real man to rescue him.

 

[repentance]

Is he in an area where another motorist is likely to notice he's having a problem and pull over to see if they can help. Putting your bonnet up and your hazards on is pretty much guaranteed to get someone to pull over here.

Has he mentioned whether he's able to get the key out of the ignition?

 

[Null]

Yeah the issue is the steering column is locked but he's not applying percussive debugging correctly smh

I'm going to bed tho, there's enough helpful people around he'll be fine.

 

[Subconcious Offense]

Is he in an area where another motorist is likely to notice he's having a problem and pull over to see if they can help. Putting your bonnet up and your hazards on is pretty much guaranteed to get someone to pull over here.

I would keep driving if some dick horn fat man with pink wings in a red dress tries to flag me down.

 

[4Macie]

Chris is apparently stranded with car troubles at a gas station.

I seriously have no idea what else to tell him or who to call. Can someone more mechanically inclined chime in?

View attachment 507026 View attachment 507027

Edit: one more.

View attachment 507028

Mechanic friend said if the key won't turn at all, pull the key out and push it back in slowly while gently jiggling it. Said that in some cars, little tiny flecks of metal can build up and cause locking up. I don't know if I'm explaining it right. The big thing he noted is that this is not a forever fix.... it will very much need to be brought it in and properly fixed sometime in the near future.

He also mentioned something about powdered graphite but I'm not at all sure this is something Chris should be using...if he could even get to it.

He also said that if getting the key OUT is a problem, to put the key into the accessories position (where the radio and shit can run but the engine isn't on), put the car into neutral and then back into park (keep foot on break obviously), and that might unlock the key.

Also found this video but.... not sure if it would help Chris at all or if he'd just break the key.

Spoiler

[EDIT: based on what Null said, maybe the above isn't useful]

 

[Subconcious Offense]

He also mentioned something about powdered graphite but I'm not at all sure this is something Chris should be using...if he could even get to it.

Yeah, the graphite lube. He can find them easily enough at hardware stores. You just sprinkle some on the key and let it work its way into the tumbler. It's probably like 10pm there though, and only maybe will fix it, so it may be for nothing. Like I said we probably shouldn't tell him how to spend his last 20 bucks.

 

[Mason Verger]

Yeah, the graphite lube. He can find them easily enough at hardware stores. You just sprinkle some on the key and let it work its way into the tumbler. It's probably like 10pm there though, and only maybe will fix it, so it may be for nothing. Like I said we probably shouldn't tell him how to spend his last 20 bucks.

No we probably should. He's going to spend it an a unicorn slurpee and a keychain that says Christine. I'm not trying to be a dick, but tell me that doesn't sound plausible.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

 

[repentance]

Yeah, the graphite lube. He can find them easily enough at hardware stores. You just sprinkle some on the key and let it work its way into the tumbler. It's probably like 10pm there though, and only maybe will fix it, so it may be for nothing. Like I said we probably shouldn't tell him how to spend his last 20 bucks.

WD40.

https://www.wd40.com/

I don't know what it's called in the US but he should be able to get the equivalent at any service station that's open and there's bound to be a passing motorist who has some in their car if he can't get to a servo.

Looks like he's getting a tow anyway.

 

[Will you be my fwiend?]

This thread has turned from speculation, to voyeurism, to debate, and now it's an excerpt from a car mechanics brochure. Huh. Seriously though, Chris messing with the car is just ASKING for something to go awry. Send him $5 for a Slurpee, and have him sit his ass inside until Twitter rides to his rescue.

 

[Mason Verger]

What do we think he spent for this weekend including car repair? $2000?

 

[The Captain]

Chris already got $200 to help - highly doubt he has roadside assistance and it's going to cost a lot more than that after he pays for a hotel, etc. etc.

That was fast.

Edit: Chris just sent a message with a correction - they have $102 total now, not $192.

 

[PuckishRogue]

Who knew bitching on twitter could pay your bills!

In all seriousness, I'm glad he won't be stuck sleeping in the van or some shit.

 

[The Captain]

Who knew bitching on twitter could pay your bills!

In all seriousness, I'm glad he won't be stuck sleeping in the van or some shit.

Could still happen.

 

[Will you be my fwiend?]

What do we think he spent for this weekend including car repair? $2000?

Knowing how ridiculously fucking expensive Bronycon is, factoring in the ticket itself, I'd put AT LEAST another 1k on that. We didn't really get a look at his loot, so it could be even more. Either way, guaranteed it wasn't cheap, and people sending him money for car repairs BEFORE con is going to make them leary to send him more for a supposedly fixed car now. It's gonna be an interesting night. I'd donate, but I have fuck all to my name.