Australatina [7 Nov 18] Autistan is drying out - Footlong of rain failed to materialize


He's just this guy, you know?
True & Honest Fan
It shows how goddamn disfunctional Phil is when his fantasies (which are by definition supposed to be enjoyable thoughts) invoke making him miserable others suffering.

Phil is so uncreative he literally can't imagine being happy, because he's never known actual happiness and can't even extrapolate "Gee, what if my clothes didn't stink and my groin didn't hurt?"

Oh nos, where will all the autistic troons keep getting there water from, if the open air loonybin called Australatina is drying up? Will the government still provide clean water to rinse out the flesh wound's at the public dilation stations?


Viva la constipacion!
Kaiser Philhelm puts the poor Australatinian citizens through yet another circle of Hell to distract from the fact that parts of his crotch fall off when he goes to the toilet.

I swear, subjecting his imaginary population to pointless misery is the only thing he's somewhat good at.


Identifies as an attack helicopter
When Phil mentioned droughts in his fake troon country I thought he was talking about his self inflicted axe wound.
Not only is it dry, but he's probably managed to already get a horrible yeast infection, wet gangrene, or if he let slingblade fuck him, well probably a STD, and if that did happen, pretty sure slingblade now has AIDs, not HIV but full blown AIDS.

Optimus Prime

Resident KF Transformers Expert
I like how Phil has to subject imaginaryland to horrible droughts (since for whatever reason something just off the coast of New England somehow has to be the middle fucking east) and have a maze of bike-only roads nobody can understand...while at the same time I don't think he's ever bothered with trying to understand how idiotstan could even work with things like economics (no imports or exports?) or survive a hurricane that devastated New York.


This thing here is called a custom title.
One does not simply walk into Australatina. Its customs gates are guarded by... fucking nobody, because Phil probably thinks airport security is oppression. There is evil there that does not sleep in its own bedroom; the Great Sped is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with flaming microwaves and trans flag baseball bats and dust.

Tiny Clanger

True & Honest Fan
Just get one of Reich's big tubey orgone cloud-busting things.

Tfw when KF tells you what to imagine to save your imaginary fiefdom.

However, none of us have a clue how to save your genitalia. I'd suggest selling when the price for offal is high.
  • Like
Reactions: Adamska


stung by a scorpion
Seriously, does ADF get off to making this fictional country as miserable as possible?
I think, to some degree, Phil is dimly aware of how Mary Sue-ish fake countries and OCs on DeviantArt tend to be, and in his own special way, making Australatina a shit hole is overcompensating in trying to make Australatina more "realistic." Almost like how 90s comics became a bit of a self-parody in trying to reboot everything as "dark" and "gritty." I guess it's a bit appropriate as Phil is a perpetual edgelord.

Theres also the fact that Phil is a bit racist, and tends to view the third world countries he wants to emulate as dirty, corrupt, dangerous, etc. Its weird but he's not really interested in Latin America for the history, the culture, or even the nice scenery, he's mostly just lashing out against his sheltered white suburban upbringing and views it as edgy to play act at being "Latinx" by cosplaying as J. Lo and stuffing himself on Taco Bell. He doesn't really like brown people in real life.

It's part of the reason why Australatina's history is so poorly researched that he literally just copy-pasted a brief history of Israel! My personal favorite was the part of Australatina's history just labelled "South Africa," as if anyone else would even have any idea what the fuck he was referring to. LOL. At least CWCkville has a fake history and amusing characters. Phil isn't even that creative. He just appointed J. Lo head of state for some reason and imagines himself as a minor functionary while he gets off killing imaginary Jews.

Incidentally, that's another difference between him and Chris right there. Both have a hard time distinguishing reality from fiction due to autism, but while Chris gets to play with Magi-chan and all his little Pokemon buddies, Phil knows Australatina isn't "real" on any level. It's just that fictional things have as much impact on him as real ones.

Back when he was in his Naruto cosplay phase, anime characters were as important and influential to him as people he knew in real life, maybe more so in fact. For you or me, the idea of making life altering decisions based on a cartoon seems absurd, especially at his age, but remember that Phil has the mentality (and emotional maturity) of toddler. He started basing his interests, diet and even relationship goals on Sakura, because he couldn't differentiate between cosplaying and... well being normal. He did the same thing with Hetalia when he became obsessed with Communism, bicycles and yaoi. And to a degree he's even doing it now with his Kylo Ren obsession.

To Phil's mind, the impact of fictional characters and their deaths is a big deal, and because he likes to pretend we're all white supremacists, he thinks people are Kiwifarms would be torn up by the deaths of millions of anonymous unnamed characters in his imagination land. Of course he also thinks Zuckerberg would know or care about the deaths of imaginary Jews for the same reason. I think, if things were reversed and some autistic on these boards made a fictional country where they purged trannies or Latinxes, Phil would probably get all huffy and start making angry autistic posts in retaliation (or "solidarity," or whatever).


Viva la constipacion!
An incredibly arid land, near Newfoundland right? I mean jesus, mudslides would make more sense.

Has anybody done a search to see what factbook Phil copied and pasted this from?
Phil doesn't know shit about Newfoundland, its weather conditions or what might feasibly exist in or around it. Phil doesn't know shit about shit.

Mordor is Disney World by comparison. Seriously, if Isla de Autism were a real country it would be the worst. North Korea or Iran would be better places to live.
A totalitarian dystopia connected to the US that constantly threatens the States with violence? If Isla de Autism were a real country, Trump would have blasted it off the map in the first week of his presidency, because literally no one would care. Even the Australatinians would consider it a mercy killing and just let it happen.
  • Feels
Reactions: Monolith