A genie offers you any amount of material wealth you desire to trade places with Amber for 5 years. - Name your price!

[Keyboard Warrior]

I've never posted a thread before. I just got curious thinking about what a life like Amber's might be worth, if it meant no responsibilities, no work and endless free time to pursue other interests.

The only catch is, no amount will buy you love.

And you can't leave your house.

And the world thinks you're a joke.

What's it worth to you, and how do you pass the time until the spell is broken?

 

[MediocreMilt]

Not a chance. Genies are tricky, so one of two (probably both) things will happen.

1) Amber is probably going to die within the next five years. So if I become Amber, I die in her place.

2) Amber becomes me? So she'll deathfat MY body in my absence?

Yeah, like I said, not a fucking chance.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Half of the women on this board weigh like 400 lbs and only follow Amber so that they'll feel better about themselves, so bumping up to Amber size wouldn't even be that much of a change for them.

 

[Arctic Fox]

I'd buy fifteen hundred pounds of C-4 and inshallah the entire fucking neighborhood if I were ever in this situation. Money be damned.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I mean, as a positive, I'd be curious to see what eating that much food would be like.

Imagine just... eating constantly. Gotta be weird shit.

But 5 years? Fuck I couldn't do it.

 

[Strange Rope Hero]

Do I get to be Amber? Like body switch with her?
If so i'm doing it for free.

I wouldn't give up the opportunity to post based Holocaust denial content, or other crazy shit as Amber.

 

[Red Mask]

It would take more than what she's making, I can tell you that. I mean, I'm pretty solitary, but I like leaving the house every once in awhile.

 

[Dick Pooman]

Dracula said, "There are far worse things that await man than death."

 

[Fiona Apple]

It'd have to be a couple hundred mil, especially if she then turns around and corrodes my body for five years. That being said, it'd be an interesting challenge to be warped into a deathfat and try to keep her alive. Would that even be possible, at Al's state? Or would I be dead by the time I could try?

 

[Keyboard Warrior]

Do I get to be Amber? Like body switch with her?
If so i'm doing it for free.

I wouldn't give up the opportunity to post based Holocaust denial content, or other crazy shit as Amber.

Yes. 6 tits and all!

 

[Mad Asshatter]

If it was just body switching with Amber, I think I'd just quietly start losing weight and start enrolling in medical insurance. Then I'd see a doctor first thing and during this time, start paying off the bills and donate extra usable stuff to charity.

This would likely extend her body's chances of living past 5 years, so the likelihood of death during this period probably wouldn't be as great.

The massive, massive downside of this is that in my body, she'd probably ruin my reputation, my body, and my credit with her ugly attitude and food issues, and people would think it was 'me.'

No material price is worth that kind of person ruining my life like she did hers.

 

[Moonpie]

Hell fuck no.
Everything about her is a train wreck freak show.
To have those deformities. To constantly eat by way of gorging. To feel that pain she has to feel by having tree trunk legs. To be stared at like a dough demon(thanks other poster for that). For being a dyke(no hate-I'm not attracted to women) Having to look at Beggy's dull death stare all damn day. Having to live in Kentucky of all places.
The list goes on and on.

 

[ADHD]

There's no amount of money in the world worth throwing away 5 years of my life in a body as wrecked as hers.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

If I could make the changes Mad Asshatter listed AND she couldn't trash MY life, no problem. But without that & the ability to get out of the house... not enough money in the world would compensate for 5 years of that sorry existence.

 

[raritycunt]

My god, we’ve reached “imaginary genie” levels of bored with ambers shit. This is a new low.

 

[Clintonberg]

I'd do it just to have Becky take nudes of me and upload them to the internet.

 

[marjoram]

Awww, come on guys, think of all the fun you could have---playing connect the dots with the open sores, or name that stench, or lidurally poking the Thumb with a stick.....

 

[ScamL Likely]

5 years is too risky. I'd take a million bucks for 5 days.

 

[Des B*]

£1 billion, a guarantee that I'll turn back into my former self and that 5 years of living like her will have no effect on my health. Just before I turn back I'd fuck everything up, like call someone a nigger on all her social media platforms, break up with necky, call all her debt collectors and give them all her info, check into inpatient and let her deal with the consequences while I get to watch . Oh and she can't do shit to my life.

 

[SituationTypeThing]

"endless free time, no work and no responsibilities"

Who needs a genie for that? You've described the life of a trustafarian, a kept woman (or man) -being kept doesn't mean you have love, or someone on disability for a bs reason.

But if I take the genie's offer and say 5 trillion dollars, what happens to my life for 5 years? Does the clock reset when I get to go back to being me? Is it 5 years later and I've missed 5 years of my life? Has someone like amber managed my life and now I'm fat, in debt to the gills, own nothing and have no marketable skills because the past 5 years of "my" life have been stagnation?

Why am I even contemplating this?