A genie offers you any amount of material wealth you desire to trade places with Amber for 5 years. - Name your price!

Keyboard Warrior

kiwifarms.net
I've never posted a thread before. I just got curious thinking about what a life like Amber's might be worth, if it meant no responsibilities, no work and endless free time to pursue other interests.

The only catch is, no amount will buy you love.

And you can't leave your house.

And the world thinks you're a joke.

What's it worth to you, and how do you pass the time until the spell is broken?
 

MediocreMilt

I could be something that is carrying a disease
kiwifarms.net
Not a chance. Genies are tricky, so one of two (probably both) things will happen.

1) Amber is probably going to die within the next five years. So if I become Amber, I die in her place.

2) Amber becomes me? So she'll deathfat MY body in my absence?

Yeah, like I said, not a fucking chance.
 

Fiona Apple

kiwifarms.net
It'd have to be a couple hundred mil, especially if she then turns around and corrodes my body for five years. That being said, it'd be an interesting challenge to be warped into a deathfat and try to keep her alive. Would that even be possible, at Al's state? Or would I be dead by the time I could try?
 

Mad Asshatter

My other name was Maggot
kiwifarms.net
If it was just body switching with Amber, I think I'd just quietly start losing weight and start enrolling in medical insurance. Then I'd see a doctor first thing and during this time, start paying off the bills and donate extra usable stuff to charity.

This would likely extend her body's chances of living past 5 years, so the likelihood of death during this period probably wouldn't be as great.

The massive, massive downside of this is that in my body, she'd probably ruin my reputation, my body, and my credit with her ugly attitude and food issues, and people would think it was 'me.'

No material price is worth that kind of person ruining my life like she did hers.
 

Moonpie

Ride the Lightening
kiwifarms.net
Hell fuck no.
Everything about her is a train wreck freak show.
To have those deformities. To constantly eat by way of gorging. To feel that pain she has to feel by having tree trunk legs. To be stared at like a dough demon(thanks other poster for that). For being a dyke(no hate-I'm not attracted to women) Having to look at Beggy's dull death stare all damn day. Having to live in Kentucky of all places.
The list goes on and on.
 

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
kiwifarms.net
If I could make the changes Mad Asshatter listed AND she couldn't trash MY life, no problem. But without that & the ability to get out of the house... not enough money in the world would compensate for 5 years of that sorry existence.
 

Des B*

Not captain save a fat fuck
kiwifarms.net
£1 billion, a guarantee that I'll turn back into my former self and that 5 years of living like her will have no effect on my health. Just before I turn back I'd fuck everything up, like call someone a nigga on all her social media platforms, break up with necky, call all her debt collectors and give them all her info, check into inpatient and let her deal with the consequences while I get to watch 😊. Oh and she can't do shit to my life.
 

SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
"endless free time, no work and no responsibilities"

Who needs a genie for that? You've described the life of a trustafarian, a kept woman (or man) -being kept doesn't mean you have love, or someone on disability for a bs reason.

But if I take the genie's offer and say 5 trillion dollars, what happens to my life for 5 years? Does the clock reset when I get to go back to being me? Is it 5 years later and I've missed 5 years of my life? Has someone like amber managed my life and now I'm fat, in debt to the gills, own nothing and have no marketable skills because the past 5 years of "my" life have been stagnation?

Why am I even contemplating this?
 
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