A Kiwi Farms game of FATAL: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here -

[Randall Fragg]

FATAL is quite possibly one of the worst RPGs ever created, and a testament to the autism of a single man. It's filled with:
Rape.
Retarded, impossible rules.
A reliance on randomness that means that your character will probably be rolled up as a lice-picker
Rape
Blatant, Loveshy levels of misogyny.
The need to do calculus for determining attacks
Rape
A magic system that has a good chance of causing a pack of gay ogres to materialize and rape you
Hayden Black levels of humor.
And more rape.

In short, it's the autistic game that we need to play. @Splendid Meat Sticks god help his soul, has bravely offered to run a game.
File of Unspeakable Evil: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/1oy7eut575uax/RPG_Books#7r28ltj1w2k5h (Includes a character generator, thank god)
The game would be play by post, because it's impossible to run in real time.

 

[Fallensaint]

@Surtur you know you want to.

 

[Splendid]

I'm playing.

 

[VLAD]

You can't post a recruitment thread without posting the OFFICIAL FATAL THEME SONG. Come on, dude.

 

[Surtur]

TRIGGERD

 

[P.A]

No thread about FATAL is complete without the RPG.net review.

 

[HG 400]

In.

 

[Reddit Avenger]

The thing I've always loved about FATAL was that it was the kind of game I always imagined was written by one of the horrible rape zombies from Crossed, but somehow worse.

I don't know how the scheduling or anything is gonna be setup but if things gel with work and stuff I'm down.

 

[Tempest]

maybe, maybe not don't know about time (or how to play an RPG)

 

[Surtur]

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME DO THIS! I WONT!

 

[Forever Sunrise]

This RPG is the dirty bomb. It will irrevocably contaminate any who come into contact with it. Avoid at all costs; spectate at a minimum safe distance of approximately 250 miles.

 

[Splendid]

YOU CAN"T MAKE ME DO THIS! I WONT!

It's too late. You know what must be done.

 

[The Master Debater]

It's too late. You know what must be done.

Roll for anal circumference?

 

[Surtur]

It's too late. You know what must be done.

CYBERBULLY! *struggles to open pill bottle*

 

[Sallet Lad Jim]

God I'm fucking tempted to play this.

I might be down for this, but not entirely sure yet.

 

[Splendid]

CYBERBULLY! *struggles to open pill bottle*

So when are you free to start?

 

[Surtur]

So when are you free to start?

No one ever does these things anyways.

 

[alex_theman]

in
EDIT: not going to. I don't want to get raped

 

[Randall Fragg]

Here's the character that the generator spit out.

Spoiler: Heward Flaunteroy

Character Name: Hereward Fauntleroy Gender: M Race: Human
Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Young Adult
Homeland: Level: Religion:
Height: 60 Weight: 105 Siblings: 0 Social Class: Slave
Age: 19 Max Age: 110 Eyes: Blue Skin Color: Tan
Marital Status: Unhappily Married Birth Rank: Only child
Birth Status: Bastard Hair Color: Auburn Hair Type: Thick, wavy, oily
Hair Length: 18 Vision: Perfect natural vision
Facial Feature: Protruding lower lip
Perceived as altruistic, showing greater concern for others
Birthplace: Village Birthday:5/13/5081
Most Attactive Feature: Legs Most Repulsive Feature: Buttocks
Appearance:
Notes:

----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
Sub-ability Score Mods
____________________________________________________________________________________
PHYSIQUE: 106 3
Physical Fitness: 120 9 Sprint: 60
Strength: 114 6 Damage: +6% C&J: 63 Bench: 127 DL: 190
Bodily Attractiveness: 81 -10
Health: 112 6 Int/Vom: -6% All: 3 Ill. Imm.: 60%

CHARISMA: 81 -10
Facial: 93 -3 Description: Plain
Vocal: 87 -6 Description: Normal
Kinetic: 64 -21 Description: Abrupt
Rhetoric: 81 -10 Avg. Speech: 135 or 210 (50%)

DEXTERITY: 103 3
Hand-Eye Coordination: 93 -3 Finger Prec: 1/16 inch
Agility: 97 0 CA Bonus: 0 Brawl: 2 Stand: 3
Reaction Speed: 115 9 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
Enunciation: 109 6 Max Speech: 220 Casting: -4%

INTELLIGENCE: 91 -3
Language: 91 -3 #: 2 Vocab: Conversion
Math: 105 3 Highest Math: Algebra
Analytical: 48 -34
Spatial: 121 12 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 750

WISDOM: 99 0
Drive: 94 -3 Hours Resting: 17
Intuition: 92 -3
Common Sense: 90 -6 Likely to: -
Reflection: 120 9 Earliest memory at: Age 2


Life Points: 23 Unconscious: 4 CA: 10

Piety Points: 100 Magic Points:

Breadth: 30 BMI: 20.5625 BMI Status: Healthy weight

-------------------------------------Disposition------------------------------------
Ethicality: 10 Morality: 71
You are: Unethical w/Neutral tendencies Neutral w/Moral tendencies

-------------------------------------Temperament------------------------------------
Sanguine: 57 Choleric: 20 Melancholic: 46 Phlegmatic: 90
Primary Temperament: Phlegmatic Secondary Temperament: Sanguine

-------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
Silver Pieces: 0

Sexual Features:

Manhood Length: 4.38 inches
Manhood Circumference: 5.70 inches
Tongue: 3.00 inches
Areola Diameter: 1.50 inches
Areola Hue: Light
Nipple Length: 0.25 inches
Anal Circumference: 4 inches
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Debauchery Score: 51

------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------
Illness 1: sexual masochism
Illness 2: schizophrenia
Illness 3: schizoid personality disorder
Illness 4: mania

--------------------------------------Allergies-------------------------------------
Allergy 1: eggs
Allergy 2: mammals
Allergy 3: hay fever
------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
Handedness: Right-handed
Foot Size: 11
Head Cicumference: 20.61

Heh, the generator actually makes it entertaining to see the kind of useless morons that get spit out. Here's my "backup character", who I'm calling Beavis the Bugbear

Spoiler: Hark! I request Parchment for Mine Anus

Character Name: Berghvatr Steinmarr Gender: M Race: Bugbear
Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Puberty
Homeland: Level: Religion:
Height: 69 Weight: 192 Siblings: 4 Social Class: Serf
Age: 19 Max Age: 125 Eyes: Brown Skin Color: Fur
Marital Status: Single Birth Rank: 2nd
Birth Status: Legitimate Hair Color: Light Brown Hair Type: Medium thickness, wavy
Hair Length: 1 Vision: Perfect natural vision
Facial Feature: Mole on cheek
Perceived as ending up a victim (dumpee) of love triangles
Birthplace: City Birthday:4/18/5081
Most Attactive Feature: Buttocks Most Repulsive Feature: Waist
Appearance:
Notes:

----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
Sub-ability Score Mods
____________________________________________________________________________________
PHYSIQUE: 79 -10
Physical Fitness: 56 -25 Sprint: 41
Strength: 163 30 Damage: +30% C&J: 95 Bench: 190 DL: 285
Bodily Attractiveness: 1 -99
Health: 97 0 Int/Vom: +0% All: 0 Ill. Imm.: 57

CHARISMA: 64 -21
Facial: 60 -25 Description: But-her-face
Vocal: 46 -34 Description: Scratchy
Kinetic: 89 -6 Description: Ordinary
Rhetoric: 63 -21 Avg. Speech: 120 or 240 (50%)

DEXTERITY: 99 0
Hand-Eye Coordination: 125 12 Finger Prec: 1/32 inch
Agility: 94 -3 CA Bonus: -1 Brawl: 2 Stand: 3
Reaction Speed: 99 0 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
Enunciation: 80 -10 Max Speech: 170 Casting: +30%

INTELLIGENCE: 87 -6
Language: 50 -29 #: 1 Vocab: Insanity
Math: 93 -3 Highest Math: Algebra
Analytical: 91 -3
Spatial: 115 9 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 500

WISDOM: 81 -10
Drive: 88 -6 Hours Resting: 17
Intuition: 94 -3
Common Sense: 83 -10 Likely to: -
Reflection: 61 -21 Earliest memory at: Age 4


Life Points: 30 Unconscious: 6 CA: 11

Piety Points: 100 Magic Points:

Breadth: 34 BMI: 28.431 BMI Status: Healthy weight

-------------------------------------Disposition------------------------------------
Ethicality: 37 Morality: 16
You are: Neutral Neutral w/Immoral tendencies

-------------------------------------Temperament------------------------------------
Sanguine: 19 Choleric: 100 Melancholic: 82 Phlegmatic: 7
Primary Temperament: Choleric Secondary Temperament: Melancholic

-------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
Silver Pieces: 3

------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------
Illness 1: pyromania
Illness 2: onomatomania
Illness 3: depression
Illness 4: raptophilia

--------------------------------------Allergies-------------------------------------
None

------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
Handedness: Right-handed
Foot Size: 11
Head Cicumference: 26.22

-----------------------------------Sexual Features----------------------------------
Manhood Length: 5.75 Manhood Circumference: 5.22963
Anal Circumference Potential: 14 Nipple Length: 0.75
Areola Diameter: 2 Areola Hue: Medium
Tongue Size: 4 Sexuality: Heterosexual
Debauchery: 24

 

[Splendid]

You simultaneously are a mammal and are allergic to them. How are you alive?