A Lolcow Thanksgiving - Plan a dinner party

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JambledUpWords

Stairs are my worst enemy
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Welcome to the Lolcow Thanksgiving!

Plan a Thanksgiving celebration with your lolcows of choice. The worse they would get along the better. Also, it’s a potluck, so each Lolcow at the Thanksgiving celebration will bring a dish to share. If you want add extra stuff such as setting and decorations. Finally, end it with the argument that gets all the Lolcows to tard rage.

Example:

Guests + Dishes

- Amberlynn: extra dry chicken covered in four different kinds of Mrs. Dash
- Simply Sara: mashed potatoes with an entire container of sour cream, two pounds of butter, and 1/4 cup salt
- Jude Valentin: pumpkin pie with a raw crust and pumpkin with too much cinnamon
- Amy Ramadan: mac and cheese with turkey bacon bits and more bread crumbs than cheese (that has been accidentally left unrefrigerated for two days)
- Fit Vegan Ginger: raw farmer’s market corn mixed with nutritional yeast and nothing else
- Glitterandlazers: sweet potato casserole with undercooked sweet potatoes and a burnt marshmallow topping from getting too happy with the blow torch while drunk
- Lividlipids: fried chicken with a cranberry dipping sauce that has more sugar than cranberries

Setting
Amy Ramadan’s house with her husband and kids. As proper protocol, all women attending must wear hijabs. Everyone finds somewhere to sit among the mess, as there isn’t enough seating.

Decorations
There are none

The Big Argument
Fit Vegan Ginger gets angry after realizing she has the only vegan option, and insists that everyone else compromise by only eating what she brought. Lividlipids and Jude get angry and accuse her of colonialism and ableism. Jude whines about how her eating disorder won’t allow for her to eat anything anyone else made, so she orders takeout. Glitter gets offended by this. Meanwhile, Lividlipids is trying to educate everyone on how racist everyone is and of how privileged they are. Amberlynn gets angry and insists that since she had cancer and is a lesbian that she is the least privileged one there. This sets off everyone but Fit Vegan Ginger, who is still mad that everyone forgot to bring vegan dishes. The entire party ends with shouting and everyone angrily eating only what they brought with them before leaving.
 

Putin Bot

The cuddliest dictator in the world!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Lolcows: Kevin Gibes, Rhys McKinnon, Jude Valentine, Tess Holliday, Tiffany Moore, Blair White, Onision, Jonathon Yaniv, Russell Greer, Chloe Wilkinson, Tommy Tooter, Dee Price (just for the extra drama), Morgane Oger, ContraPoints, Jodee Norene Kalra, Amy Ramadan, Kelly Lenza, Melinda Leigh Scott, Louis Gagliardi, and Null.

I didn't do it exactly in the format you wanted, but my creative was flowing.

Kevin: Nothing, he's just there to ask for donations and talk about his "vag", toys, and whatever spews out of his mouth.
Rhys: Some gourmet recipe he burned just to spite everyone else but especially the fat women
Jude: Fried chicken because she's allergic to turkey, also will promote her tip jar cause making fried chickn ain't cheap!
Tess: 2 champagne cakes. So that way she gets one to herself. Probably also wonder why the hell she got invited if there's no celebrities around.
Tiffany Moore: Illicit drugs, any kind you could desire! Will also be willing to fight anyone that dares question his womanly status.
Blair: Brings some store bought thing, then proceeds to shit talk everyone there.
Onision: Uncooked tofu to inconvenience everyone and so he can lecture everyone on how evil they are for celebrating Thanksgiving at all, and eating meat of all things!
Jonathon Yaniv: Tampons and wax strips so he can try to force the females there to wax his balls.
Russell Greer: (wears a thrift store suit) Brings store bought pumpkin pie, a pack of condoms and a grocery store bouquet in case he finds someone sexy enough to woo into sex.
Chloe Wilkinson: Store bought cupcakes cause her littles were the ones who got it teehee! Will remind everyone that she has DID and constantly switch alters.
Tommy Tooter: Whatever he found in a dumpster that day. Will try to sue everyone there.
Dee Price: Some delicious gourmet thing (I'm not a cook ok and I don't know recipes!!) and will piss off Tommy, and join Blair for shit talking.
Morgane Oger: Poutine. Will defend Jonathon Yaniv and also scream at any actual women there.
ContraPoints: Booze. Lots of it. Because that is how he gets through his days ok?!
Jodee Kalra: Stouffers lasgna, and will literally try to sit on Onision to dominant him, because she's so fat he can't breathe.
Amy Ramadan: She will bring a horror concoction that only the fatties will eat, and will bring her wooden spoon to smack people with.
Kelly: Something she farted into before she brings it, and will proceed to fart the entire evening.
Melinda Leigh Scott: Nothing, because everyone else is a heathen.
Louis: Nothing, because he expects other people to feed him.
Null: Arrives late when everyone is busy fighting each other. Brings supplies. "Deck the house in gasoline. Falalalalalala. Light a match and watch it gleam....falalalalalala. Watch these freaks burn down to ashes, falalalalalala, " *finds @Ethical Nightmare and kills me for involving him into this story*
 
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Botchy Galoop

Socially Distant
kiwifarms.net
The setting is Ethans Crack Shack. The stoop is festive with broken glass glittering in the glow of a burning dumpster fire.

Guests and Dishes:
Chantal Marie brings Poutine.
Ethan Ralph supplies a half-eaten hamburger and 5 bottles of Makers Mark and some lemons.
Jordan Peterson brings Ribeye Steak and Lobster.
Lucas Warner brings cucumbers covered in cheese sauce and garnished with jolly ranchers.



The Happenings.
Ethan, the host, is barely coherent, having already put away a bottle of MM.
JPB arrives, and Ethan immediately corners him and belligerently yells "Do you know who I am?? I am the owner of the Killstream and publisher of The Ralph Retort Dot Com!!!"
Chantal arrives and Lucas immediately asks Jordan to "yeet him down that fat GenZ babe."
Jordan tells Lucas that the key to happiness is keeping his room clean and then JPB inexplicably starts crying.
Chantal loudly TEE HEE'S and leers at JPB lasciviously. He looks like the homeless man that she fucked on a rock in the park. JPB, feeling overwhelmed, excuses himself and locks himself in the tiny bathroom. Ralph perks up, and stands outside the bathroom door bellowing that Jordan needs to pass around his Xanax stash.
Chantal, having eaten all the food and unable to get into the only bathroom, drops her 6X drawers lets go a wet fart and giggling, shits on the floor. Ethan gets on his hands and knee's and takes a big whiff of the poo. He immediately proposes to Chantal.
Lucas is also mightily impressed and invites Chantal to leave with him, and live with him under a bridge, and partake of his lengthy telomeres. Ethan, gripped in a frenzy of jealousy, alcohol and eau de poo, starts flailing wildly at Lucas. JPB pets Cleo and then escapes thru the bathroom window. Chantal leaves with Lucas just as the swat team are arriving, having been called to the party by the ayyyylawgs.
All in all, the party is considered a great success and Ethan collects 1.3k in lemons which is garnished by the state for outstanding student loans.
 
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JambledUpWords

Stairs are my worst enemy
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Another Lolcow Thanksgiving

Guests + Dishes:
-
Lindsay Ellis: a veggie platter with store bought dip
- Contrapoints: lots and lots of wine
- Moviebob: McDonald’s chicken nuggets with every dipping sauce available to attract the ladies
- Jordan Peterson: medium rare steaks
- Alex Jones: homemade ribs and chicken off of the grill
- Blair White: a fruit salad
- John Sakars: tofurkey and green smoothies
- Onision: vegan stuffing with beyond meat crumbles, not fully cooked
- Tess Holiday: the most fattening cakes and pies that she could find at the nearest bakery
- Vegan Gains: whatever vegan meat substitute was on sale that day, along with ketchup for dipping

Setting:
Moviebob’s basement

Decorations:
Marvel Christmas themed consumer goods

The Big Argument
- Moviebob is ecstatic to see Lindsay and he tries to make moves on her again and invade her space
- Contrapoints, Tess, and Blair all express disgust, but the dinner continues anyway
- John Sakars starts to lecture everyone of how racist it is to celebrate Thanksgiving and proposes it be called “Indigenous Awareness Day”
- Jordan Peterson and Alex Jones go all 1776 on John Sakars and try and correct him for making racist assumptions
- Tess joins in and sides with John Sakars, along with Contra, Lindsay and Moviebob
- Factions are soon made and two separate celebrations are had with everyone eating on one side or the other
- Tess brings up of how much she loves her son on the John Sakars side
- Vegan Gains gets angry and tells Tess that she should never have reproduced in the first place and that her blatant consumerism is harmful to the environment
- Moviebob gets offended on Tess’s behalf and tells Vegan Gains that he’s not superior for being vegan, but contradicts himself and says that by being himself, he’s automatically superior to Vegan Gains
- Further factions are made
- Blair dips out of both groups and talks crap about everyone to start drama
- Yaniv mysteriously appears out of nowhere and tells everyone that he’s been masturbating to all the heated arguments and takes his clothes off and proposes there be an orgy to sort out all of these tensions
- Everyone leaves in horror and Moviebob is left alone in his basement once again and tries to figure out what to do with a naked Yaniv
 

Seth MacFartman

Seasons 1-6 of Family Guy Creator
kiwifarms.net
Lolcow Thanksgiving 2020

The Guests and their dishes:

Darksyde Phil: A dried overcooked Turkey with his special made turkey gravy, 2 Giant hams.
Christine Weston Chandler: Chocolate cake that she didn't make but took credit from a fan who donated the cake to her, yellow cake painted a la colors of Sonichu.
Onision: undercooked Tofu cause he is a vegan.
Kyle Lee Biddle: a poor man's sweet potato casserole substituted marshmallows for Depakote, Haldol, and Lithium.
Jodee Kalra: Store bought lasagna, some poor attempt at curry and rice. Will literally try to sit on Onision to dominate him.
Pyrocynical: 4 Bottles of Irish Whiskey, hash browns with frosted flakes and cheese in it.
Moviebob: McDonald's chicken nuggets and various sauces to attract the ladies.

Setting:

Darksyde Phil's latest crib.

Decorations:

Whatever Phil decorated his latest crib with.

The Big Argument:

- Christine would go on about how she is a goddess.
- Onision would go on to rant about how he and his wife wasted their time here and why Phil's food sucks. He would also defend his statement that he's not a pedo.
- Pyro states he's a Furfag inflation boi and drinks a glass of Irish spirits, he tries to seduce Kyle.
-Kyle tries to defend his own statements and surf on the Kiwi Farms while he's at Phil's.
-Moviebob would try to PM Lindsay Ellis AKA the Nostalgia Chick to come over to Phil's, he would also argue with Christine about who's superior.
-Phil masturbates in the kitchen to ruin his gravy, then would come in the living room and argue with his guests. Phil later shoves the turkey up Jodee's fat ass then later Christine's shitty ass with it being covered in dry shit.
-Jodee sits her fat ass on Onision with success to dominate him. She would attempt to sit on both Moviebob and Phil respectively.


I know, not good but I got too creative with this.
 

naught sock account 1

KILL COUNT: 3
kiwifarms.net
lolcow thanksgiving 2020:

Location 'mansion' of Dick Masterson
Diddler Dax Herera: his ego and more alcohol...

Ethan Ralph: brings makers mark...

PPP: takes a cake that says 'fuck you'...

Surfer: he's the cook...

Vordrak: a strongly worded letter signed kind regards...


they argue about ethics, vordrak and ethan ralph reminsence over gamergate as they browse 8kun /cow/ to create yet another thread on @Null
ppp make it his business to seem calm in front of dax as the other's bicker, he does and drops acid; this is when ppp flashes his starfish and dax has a psychotic episode... surfer laughs in the background...
 

Pizdec

Blin it is good.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Lolcow Thanksgiving: The hosting location is Null's dacha in Ukraine. Catch your Breath is an attendance as the only guest Null actually wanted there.

Tommy Tooter brought in a turkey he found behind a Dennys that's been sitting there for two days. The smell is indescribable and instantaneous in making you sick.

Dee Price has made a dish of mash potatoes, but its purposely in the shape of a dog to piss off Tommy.

PPP just brought beer, but he brought so much that everyone at least can get three beers.

Ethan Ralph brought in Xanax, a bottle of Makers Mark (for himself), and what he claims is a pot of gravy that smells like shit.

Russel Greer brought in breadsticks he stole from Olive Garden after they banned him for bringing another hooker in for a date.

Gabriel Sickel brought a dish of yams his dog already ate a corner of, along with a copy of his divorce papers.

Nikado Avocado has brought in his own thanksgiving meal that he only eats halfway before having a mental breakdown and steals Ralph's Xanax.

Sagittarius Shawty brings her shit inducing tea to drink and an eggplant for a party trick.

Catch Your Breath brought the only edible dish: A green bean casserole covered in a layer of fried onions.

Arguements:

Tommy and Dee are constantly at each others throats, to the point Null puts on his referee outfit and breaks them up when they try to punch each other.

PPP has Ethan Ralph in a constant wrestler hold while Ethan desperately tries to get his Xanax back from Nikado, who is currently crying and screaming in the corner.

Gabriel is ether humping Tommy's turkey or is trying to talk about dog dicks with Tommy while trying to argue against Dee Price and virtue signaling the Furry Raiders to Null, who is currently nursing a brused eye from Tommy.

Sagittarius Shawty is just sitting there, eating the breadsticks Russel brought as he pinned by Shawty's weight, keeping him from serving Null his legal paperwork.

Nikado looks away from the corner for a moment, only to see Shawty deep throat an eggplant, causing him to scream and chimp out further as everyone has at least drank two beers now.

Catch your Breath fights wth Gabe over weather he has worked or not, while Tommy defends Gabe over his lack of work ethic, leading to the two of them bantering over Daily Stormer memes.

Everyone has at least taken one punch to Ralph's gunt, as PPP kept him held still. Eventually, someone pushes a tab of acid into Ralph's mouth and forces him to stare at PPP's star. Ethan's face for the rest of the night is that of pure horror.
 
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Wheezy Asthmatic

Don't forget, you're here forever
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Lolcow Thanksgiving: The hosting location is Null's dacha in Ukraine. Catch your Breath is an attendance as the only guest Null actually wanted there.

Tommy Tooter brought in a turkey he found behind a Dennys that's been sitting there for two days. The smell is indescribable and instantaneous in making you sick.

Dee Price has made a dish of mash potatoes, but its purposely in the shape of a dog to piss off Tommy.

PPP just brought beer, but he brought so much that everyone at least can get three beers.

Ethan Ralph brought in Xanax, a bottle of Makers Mark (for himself), and what he claims is a pot of gravy that smells like shit.

Russel Greer brought in breadsticks he stole from Olive Garden after they banned him for bringing another hooker in for a date.

Gabriel Sickel brought a dish of yams his dog already ate a corner of, along with a copy of his divorce papers.

Nikado Avocado has brought in his own thanksgiving meal that he only eats halfway before having a mental breakdown and steals Ralph's Xanax.

Sagittarius Shawty brings her shit inducing tea to drink and an eggplant for a party trick.

Catch Your Breath brought the only edible dish: A green bean casserole covered in a layer of fried onions.

Arguements:

Tommy and Dee are constantly at each others throats, to the point Null puts on his referee outfit and breaks them up when they try to punch each other.

PPP has Ethan Ralph in a constant wrestler hold while Ethan desperately tries to get his Xanax back from Nikado, who is currently crying and screaming in the corner.

Gabriel is ether humping Tommy's turkey or is trying to talk about dog dicks with Tommy while trying to argue against Dee Price and virtue signaling the Furry Raiders to Null, who is currently nursing a brused eye from Tommy.

Sagittarius Shawty is just sitting there, eating the breadsticks Russel brought as he pinned by Shawty's weight, keeping him from serving Null his legal paperwork.

Nikado looks away from the corner for a moment, only to see Shawty deep throat an eggplant, causing him to scream and chimp out further as everyone has at least drank two beers now.

Catch your Breath fights wth Gabe over weather he has worked or not, while Tommy defends Gabe over his lack of worth ethic, leading to the two of them bantering over Daily Stormer memes.

Everyone has at least taken one punch to Ralph's gunt, as PPP kept him held still. Eventually, someone pushes a tab of acid into Ralph's mouth and forces him to stare at PPP's star. Ethan's face for the rest of the night is that of pure horror.
Ngl, I fucking HATE green bean casserole
 

naught sock account 1

KILL COUNT: 3
kiwifarms.net
lolcow thanksgiving 2020:

location: a hotel...

Tom Tooter: brings the devil's lettuce...

Virgo Rogue: serves raw meat...

Cosmo Narcissa Wright: takes soylent...

Jonathan Yaniv / Jonathan Southern brings tampons...

the topic: trans rights, whos the most valid followed by them cannibalizing one another...
 

Dee Price

ugly tranny, david_price@bellsouth.net
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
Lolcows: Kevin Gibes, Rhys McKinnon, Jude Valentine, Tess Holliday, Tiffany Moore, Blair White, Onision, Jonathon Yaniv, Russell Greer, Chloe Wilkinson, Tommy Tooter, Dee Price (just for the extra drama), Morgane Oger, ContraPoints, Jodee Norene Kalra, Amy Ramadan, Kelly Lenza, Melinda Leigh Scott, Louis Gagliardi, and Null.

I didn't do it exactly in the format you wanted, but my creative was flowing.

Kevin: Nothing, he's just there to ask for donations and talk about his "vag", toys, and whatever spews out of his mouth.
Rhys: Some gourmet recipe he burned just to spite everyone else but especially the fat women
Jude: Fried chicken because she's allergic to turkey, also will promote her tip jar cause making fried chickn ain't cheap!
Tess: 2 champagne cakes. So that way she gets one to herself. Probably also wonder why the hell she got invited if there's no celebrities around.
Tiffany Moore: Illicit drugs, any kind you could desire! Will also be willing to fight anyone that dares question his womanly status.
Blair: Brings some store bought thing, then proceeds to shit talk everyone there.
Onision: Uncooked tofu to inconvenience everyone and so he can lecture everyone on how evil they are for celebrating Thanksgiving at all, and eating meat of all things!
Jonathon Yaniv: Tampons and wax strips so he can try to force the females there to wax his balls.
Russell Greer: (wears a thrift store suit) Brings store bought pumpkin pie, a pack of condoms and a grocery store bouquet in case he finds someone sexy enough to woo into sex.
Chloe Wilkinson: Store bought cupcakes cause her littles were the ones who got it teehee! Will remind everyone that she has DID and constantly switch alters.
Tommy Tooter: Whatever he found in a dumpster that day. Will try to sue everyone there.
Dee Price: Some delicious gourmet thing (I'm not a cook ok and I don't know recipes!!) and will piss off Tommy, and join Blair for shit talking.
Morgane Oger: Poutine. Will defend Jonathon Yaniv and also scream at any actual women there.
ContraPoints: Booze. Lots of it. Because that is how he gets through his days ok?!
Jodee Kalra: Stouffers lasgna, and will literally try to sit on Onision to dominant him, because she's so fat he can't breathe.
Amy Ramadan: She will bring a horror concoction that only the fatties will eat, and will bring her wooden spoon to smack people with.
Kelly: Something she farted into before she brings it, and will proceed to fart the entire evening.
Melinda Leigh Scott: Nothing, because everyone else is a heathen.
Louis: Nothing, because he expects other people to feed him.
Null: Arrives late when everyone is busy fighting each other. Brings supplies. "Deck the house in gasoline. Falalalalalala. Light a match and watch it gleam....falalalalalala. Watch these freaks burn down to ashes, falalalalalala, " *finds @Ethical Nightmare and kills me for involving him into this story*
LOL Thank you for the include. My Thanksgiving was another boring sitting there listening to Mr you are stupid and mom blabbering about how i am dressed and my hair which she says need to be short.

And he had this nasty green bean casserole who wants to eat that retched looking mess. But tom really hates it seeing as he is excluded from family gatherings.
Lolcow Thanksgiving: The hosting location is Null's dacha in Ukraine. Catch your Breath is an attendance as the only guest Null actually wanted there.

Tommy Tooter brought in a turkey he found behind a Dennys that's been sitting there for two days. The smell is indescribable and instantaneous in making you sick.

Dee Price has made a dish of mash potatoes, but its purposely in the shape of a dog to piss off Tommy.

PPP just brought beer, but he brought so much that everyone at least can get three beers.

Ethan Ralph brought in Xanax, a bottle of Makers Mark (for himself), and what he claims is a pot of gravy that smells like shit.

Russel Greer brought in breadsticks he stole from Olive Garden after they banned him for bringing another hooker in for a date.

Gabriel Sickel brought a dish of yams his dog already ate a corner of, along with a copy of his divorce papers.

Nikado Avocado has brought in his own thanksgiving meal that he only eats halfway before having a mental breakdown and steals Ralph's Xanax.

Sagittarius Shawty brings her shit inducing tea to drink and an eggplant for a party trick.

Catch Your Breath brought the only edible dish: A green bean casserole covered in a layer of fried onions.

Arguements:

Tommy and Dee are constantly at each others throats, to the point Null puts on his referee outfit and breaks them up when they try to punch each other.

PPP has Ethan Ralph in a constant wrestler hold while Ethan desperately tries to get his Xanax back from Nikado, who is currently crying and screaming in the corner.

Gabriel is ether humping Tommy's turkey or is trying to talk about dog dicks with Tommy while trying to argue against Dee Price and virtue signaling the Furry Raiders to Null, who is currently nursing a brused eye from Tommy.

Sagittarius Shawty is just sitting there, eating the breadsticks Russel brought as he pinned by Shawty's weight, keeping him from serving Null his legal paperwork.

Nikado looks away from the corner for a moment, only to see Shawty deep throat an eggplant, causing him to scream and chimp out further as everyone has at least drank two beers now.

Catch your Breath fights wth Gabe over weather he has worked or not, while Tommy defends Gabe over his lack of work ethic, leading to the two of them bantering over Daily Stormer memes.

Everyone has at least taken one punch to Ralph's gunt, as PPP kept him held still. Eventually, someone pushes a tab of acid into Ralph's mouth and forces him to stare at PPP's star. Ethan's face for the rest of the night is that of pure horror.
LOL I really wished that I thought of that and posted a photo at AMB. LOL tom would have raged all over the place.
Ngl, I fucking HATE green bean casserole
Me too. It was disgusting to even look at. I do not know where mom got in her old failing mind to make that dumpster swill looking mess.


Funny thing once you meet the right admins and then get in AMB that is when you really become loyal to Kiwi Farms.

Have fun watching tom got haywire and explode.
 
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