Act like your avatar! - Aka the official RP


Dat Booty Tho
True & Honest Fan
Woooooow! This place is so cool! I need to show Daddy this! There’s even someone with the same name as me!


Tactical Autism Response Division
True & Honest Fan
Yesssss, open wider.... A little wider... There we go. Bite on this for the pain.


Here to stay


Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
You know, I've been trapped in this dungeon for a very long time, and it's frustrating at times. I've gotten pretty far up through the levels. Slayed numerous heroes too many to count even for my advanced abilities. But there's always one thing that just makes me relax a little from the difficulty and trying times. I send out waves and waves of monsters to give heroes a hard time, and there's always that one idiot, that one moron who sees waves of skeletal undead kobolds coming and wants to engage with a rapier. Don't ask how I see this since I can only be in one place at a time. I used to use a magic crystal I bought off a mean little gypsy from Bucharest, but now I just use security cameras and put body cameras on some of the more higher level monsters I send out.

Do you know how hard it is to put a body camera on a creeping coin? Don't tell me about how difficult your day is being a woman or some crap. That's a real struggle. Also whatever you do, don't summon creeping coins. You summon one and soon they're multiplying and you have countless mouths to feed. Don't ask what they eat. It's not pretty. On top of that they're like newborn puppies- their so hyperactive. FFS.

Anyhow one of my ninjas or clerics, or whatever, they poke at me to look at a security camera (hey, with all the gold and loot heroes drop when they die in my dungeon, you bet I'm rolling in money. I know I just became popular with all the female rogues, thieves and succubi within five thousand miles, so shut up.) They point at one of the cameras and there's this idiot trying to poke a skeleton kobold with that rapier. I'm an old man. I've been monstrously killing heroes since the 80s like it was nothing, and even now seeing that makes me openly sigh. I sigh. Don't get me wrong, it's not a pained sigh. It's like watching that favorite scene from that one movie you had your minions steal after raiding a town and no matter how many times you watch it, you're still amused. "Yes it's true. This man has no dick."

Don't these heroes have any beginner's guide or a damn forced tutorial to tell them to at least think past a third grade level? Oh well, it's still funny. I record these moments and someday I'm going to have one of my evil samurai make a compilation video on you tube or bitchute or something. Don't ask. That samurai is just good with editing software, okay? Something about working in the JAV industry back in the day or something.


Chose Wisely
True & Honest Fan
There's not many opportunities for an out of work Nazi punching archeologist, but since I'm in New York, it turns out there's other work for a guy who likes leather and is proficient with a whip.
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disspectful piece of shit
I'm Jeffree Star's dog and I probably have a better life than you could ever dream of.

...At what cost, though?
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Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
ADITLOW: - A day in the life of Wraith

Named one of my dog kobolds Denzel the other day. ... What? Can't a man in a black cloak mildly admire a man in a black cloak?
Anyway never name all your monsters, only the ones that you figure are going to be around for a while. You don't want 10,000 Denzels running around trying to act like the next big dungeonian kolboldian action star.
Gave the little dude some decent new armor and a weapon we scavenged off some dead "hero." Never just haphazardly give higher quality weapons to your troops too. Make them earn it. Trust me, it works. Anyway Denzel got all happy. You could see the smile on his face that he had something to cut things better with. Felt for him so I monogrammed his armor for him. "Big D." His eyed glowed with purpose and you could see the encouragement it brought to the other monsters in bin 4 that were ready to go out and slaughter the fools that try to take me down.
You even see piles of bubbling smile look encouraged? I have. That's how you live. You put yourself in the hearts of your monsters. You could even see an extra skip in the steps of the shambling zombies you toss out by the hundreds. When they use paralyze and poison attacks, they do it with vigor. They want that extra recognition too. God only knows how effective this would be if I allowed them online on kiwi with all the ratings. Don't ask me how creeping coins can use a computer. I've seen them do it. Took forever to get the search term, "Naked coin orgy" out of my browser.
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Autumnal Equinox

I hope you relish it as much as I
Your son, Mr. Torrance, is attempting to bring an outside party into this situation.

A jogger. A jogger...cook