Addressing all the rumors - 02/09/21 February 9, 2021

Sodium-King-90

kiwifarms.net
Cunt-Lynn back in full force.
This is classic Amber, and true of SO many other problematic people on the internet. They do something that backfires, they look shitty and then immediately deflect the blame onto someone else.
In this case, Narc-Lynn here is blaming her audience (what's new?)
"I felt Patreon was a bad idea in my GUT, but SO many people request it from me..." Nice gaslightling, Hammy.
She just needs to own the fact she scammed money from people... again.

Also, is no one going to address the obvious NASTY fall she's had? Evidently she tumbled face first into her make up box... Looks like it was serious!
 

Turd Fergusson

kiwifarms.net
"it's more fun in California"
what would you do there, go to the beach? music festivals? maybe shop small designer boutiques? im genuinely curious what's there that she can't do in Kentucky, but can do in California
Amber lives in an alternate universe where she is dainty, a choreographer, a soccer star, and a poet. Her weight is not an issue and any problem is caused by someone else. In that universe, she can go to the beach, amusement park and take a plane to go for a holiday. There is no point to argue with her; she knows better.
 

giga melt

vibe check
kiwifarms.net
This makes the whole "story" about her ruining her own engagement surprise seem suspect AF, since there's no surprise involved in picking out your own ring, that you paid for with your own money. But what else is new, if her mouth is open she's either lying or eating (or both).
It's so weird in the same breath she says she picked out the rings she says she didn't pick out the rings Becky just happened to get bolth of the ones she wanted... Sus as hell.
 

mekalekahi

Dont you guys think I should choose my own foods?
kiwifarms.net
I actually grew up and live in the neighboring area to where amber grew up (petaluma). No shes not a "city gorl" like she likes to act. Petaluma is a farming town with some suburbs and your average family shopping target, tj maxx etc. I am so curious what she would get out of life here compared to kentucky? Eveything we are known for requires walking/standing. To be honest my in my entire life here ive never ever seen anyone as large as amber in person. Becky for sure but amber never. So she would be paying higher cost of living to sit in her apartment all day again.
 

D_Tractor

I'm like the queen of veggies and amazingness.
kiwifarms.net
She grew up in Petaluma, which is about 1/5 of the size of Lexington, KY. It doesn't even have a Cheesecake Factory, Panera Bread or a Walmart. She would do absolutely fuck all there but sit in her own filth and brag about living in California. She just resents that Becky won't move away from her family.
Why does she have a SoCal accent if she grew up in NorCal? NorCal accent is basically Seattle like Bill Gates and Kurt Cobain, not the Bill and Ted/Clueless/Rigdemont High valley girl shit she imitates.
 

PotatoSalad4711

We did it! We solved racism!
kiwifarms.net
Cunt-Lynn back in full force.
This is classic Amber, and true of SO many other problematic people on the internet. They do something that backfires, they look shitty and then immediately deflect the blame onto someone else.
In this case, Narc-Lynn here is blaming her audience (what's new?)
"I felt Patreon was a bad idea in my GUT, but SO many people request it from me..." Nice gaslightling, Hammy.
She just needs to own the fact she scammed money from people... again.

Also, is no one going to address the obvious NASTY fall she's had? Evidently she tumbled face first into her make up box... Looks like it was serious!
I find it hilarious that she admitted that she didn’t think the haydurs would pay for her Patreon. Um, morons pay $5 for a superchat just to tell you you’re fat and ugly. Why the hell wouldn’t they join your Patreon? I think she saw the first two subscribers were Zach and Lyfe and decided to nope out.
 

Spicy Noodles

kiwifarms.net
Why does she have a SoCal accent if she grew up in NorCal? NorCal accent is basically Seattle like Bill Gates and Kurt Cobain, not the Bill and Ted/Clueless/Rigdemont High valley girl shit she imitates.
I never associated her speech with the SoCal valleygirl accent. Most illiterate, uneducated, mouthbreathing girls who are trying to be kaayuuute and so qUiRkY sound like that no matter where they're from.
 

krazy orange cat

Fluffy ball of evil
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Why does she have a SoCal accent if she grew up in NorCal? NorCal accent is basically Seattle like Bill Gates and Kurt Cobain, not the Bill and Ted/Clueless/Rigdemont High valley girl shit she imitates.
Amber mimics. She doesn't have an accent, just like she doesn't have a personality of her own. Whoever she wants to emulate at the time determines who she is at any given point in time. The only thing that is truly "hers" is the pathological lying.
 

giga melt

vibe check
kiwifarms.net
I bet people HATED giving her pedicures given the last time we’ve seen her feet.
I already sort of sperged about this but you don't know the half of it. I've given pedis to people half Amber's size and had shit like their toenails and skin sores come off in the bowl. I cannot imagine doing Amber's feet, especially with her huge overhanging calves. 3/4 of a pedicure is massaging the feet, ankles, and calves. Imagining the kind of filth and crust under her ankle roll is... (:_(

More on topic, if Amber doesn't have a dedicated foot doctor she's probably making Becky trim her toenails and give her those unprofessional pedicures she said she does. I'm honestly sorry for her in that regard. There's nothing like dealing with a pre/diabetic foot.
 

D_Tractor

I'm like the queen of veggies and amazingness.
kiwifarms.net
I already sort of sperged about this but you don't know the half of it. I've given pedis to people half Amber's size and had shit like their toenails and skin sores come off in the bowl. I cannot imagine doing Amber's feet, especially with her huge overhanging calves. 3/4 of a pedicure is massaging the feet, ankles, and calves. Imagining the kind of filth and crust under her ankle roll is... (:_(

More on topic, if Amber doesn't have a dedicated foot doctor she's probably making Becky trim her toenails and give her those unprofessional pedicures she said she does. I'm honestly sorry for her in that regard. There's nothing like dealing with a pre/diabetic foot.
STOP IT. Null can only get so hard before he has to go to a slav hospital for dick repair and he has a job to do. Remember why the last outage happened.
 

Acidsplat

kiwifarms.net
iphone.PNG


why is she using an iPhone XS and not her iPhone 12 Pro Max?

EDIT: unless she just gave up on her vlog camera and is using the iPhone 12 to record
 
Last edited:

Bubbly Sink

Trying to be nicer
kiwifarms.net
Alrighty. I have vodka. I will probably run out, so let’s hope it’s enough to make it through this.

0:00 ‘Hey guise!’ And then it’s a retarded intro. Fuck my speakers. Yeesh. Then she welcomes us to a new video. I will comment that her earrings look dumb as fuck, her makeup looks lopsided, her lips are fucking tiny, her wings are crooked, and she didn’t bother putting enough color on her eyebrows to make them look close to decent. I had another train of thought, but my nose is tingly from the shot that started this shit off. We’re on a good roll right now.

0:15 Fat Fuck has to show us her ‘I’m so bored’ shirt and sing-songs that it’s by some asshat I’ve never heard of and don’t care about. Yaaaas, so proud of a printed tee. Surely that is the ultimate possession in life.

0:21 Wait. What…? She has 77 rumors/assumptions she’s going to cover…? FML. Pardon me. I will have to parse out my bottle to ensure it lasts. Gah.

So as happens with all of her dumb fuck list videos, we’re going to drop time-stamping for the sake of my sanity and my ability to drink while listening to her bullshit.

0:54 Well, she hasn’t started yet - she’s still rambling. And she just said she personally doesn’t like the number 6.

Must piss her off that 6 is likely the first number on her scale. Heheheh. Then she says that 77 is her favorite number. What, the weight of her excess skin on a normal-sized human? The number of meth runs her mother did before she got locked away? The number of scales she’s broken in life? The number of Jenny Craig dinners she’s thrown into the trash after tragic freezer unplugging accidents? IDK where she gets that shit from.

And here we go.

1 you’re tired all the time (No, she’s not tired all the time. She feels sluggish because she has negative levels of Vitamin D. Because it’s not like the sun provides it. And it’s not like Walmart and Target sell giant fucking tubs of it in pill format, you heffalump)

2 you hate pedicures (Nope, but she won’t get ‘em done professionally)

3 you don’t like the engagement ring Becky got you (she picked ‘em out herself so she loves them. Yes, them. She’s over the moon that Becky saved her desires she picked out years ago and bullshit)

4 you stalk all your exes on social media (noooo, she doesn’t)

5 you don’t want to lose weight for your wedding (yes she does LOL want in one hand, shit in the other, clap and see what’cha get, AL)

6 you don’t plan on ever being under 400 lbs (She honestly feels she will never get under 400 lbs subconsciously and negative energy bequeaths negative energy)

7 you think you know better than professionals (nooo, but professionals say different things so apparently they’re all full of shit)

8 you’re excited about your engagement but scared of the future (yup, she’s terrified of the future)

9 you didn’t understand what the protocol for patreon was when you started it (nope, I knew it, but I felt in my gut that it was a bad idea and so many people wanted to enjoy my writing blah blah blah but then she realized her writing sucked)

10 you want to create content but the hate holds you back (yuuus hate keeps her in a box. No, dear, that’s your coffin calling. Now shut up and move on.)

11 you love doing makeup (honestly not really - she hasn’t figured out how to draw an eyebrow)

12 you love taking selfies (only with filters because she hates how she looks - aka: she hates looking like a fat blob and prefers to look like a cat fishing whore)

13 you were in choir in high school (nope and her singing on TikTok proves she couldn’t carry a tune in a motherfuckin’ bucket. She claims to have been in middle school, though. Those poor ears that had to suffer her.)

14 you’re actually still in love with Destiny (nopenopenope except we all know the truth)

15 you enjoy the negative attention (no, not in the way we think - appreciates it for the Adsense and money but not for anything else reeeeeeeee SHUT THE FUCK UP. MOVE ON YOU BABBLING RETARD.)

16 you can’t properly clean yourself after using the bathroom, doesn’t seem scientifically possible (you’re not a scientist! Yes, I can clean myself! Cuntylynn engaged!)

17 you stole money from all your patreon subs (no - she got 3 subs and refunded all three of them supposedly lolz)

18 there’s probably mushrooms and fungi growing in your folds (well damn, how did you know - AL 2021)

19 your face probably feels rough (nope! How could it with all the fat filling her pores? Look at that moon. Smooth as a tub of crisco. Just as greasy, too)

20 the color theme of your wedding will be light pink and gold (nope)

21 Becky and you will both keep your names after the wedding (nope. They’ve talked about it and they’ll both have the same last name, they just don’t know whose taking whose pft sure)

22 you’re jealous of Dana (wha’? Nope, not jealous of anyone)

23 deleted your post about your patreon because of the backlash and the high pricing (nope, just decided that having people reading her writing would point out how much she truly sucks at her passion)

24 you’re incredibly emotionally strong, love seeing your content (thank you! Now I am pondering who this shitmonger is, because this weepy dumbass is anything but emotionally strong. And now she’s ear-raping me with her suckage attempt to sing. UGH. Thanks to you, AL, I now only have half a shot of vodka left. And I have 53 more of these shitty things to make it through. Fuck me.)

One bright moment - she states that she says crazy for ‘lack of a better word’. AuthorLynn doesn’t have a broad vocabulary, and she has just confessed to that fact. Now back to our regular scheduled content.

25 you love watching Netflix (nah, it was okay, but now she’s watching some other shit - Shit’s Creek is what I hear)

26 you like guys (no)

27 you’re going broke (nope, I know how to save money

28 you put makeup on your knuckles (she decides to put on the lightest concealer she has and smear it all over her fingers, completely unlike when she actually does it - which we have fucking pictures of, you dumb idiot)

29 you doctor shop (nope she just knows when she knows more than the professionals because she knows when something’s wrong

30 you’re manic depressive and you go buy things to cope (yup, I’m bipolar! EXCEPT YOU’RE NOT. You can’t even identify which variant you are, you blithering walrus.)

31 you don’t actually want to lose weight (wait, didn’t she already cover this one? She says she does)

32 you like anime (she likes the conventions because it’s fun and welcoming, but watching anime nah brah - she reads manga though)

33 you won’t stick to an upload schedule (firm NOPE)

34 you’ve already started buying stuff for the wedding (only thing she’s bought is a planner - she wants to take it slow, because she wants to be engaged, not married lol)

35 you will never be able to travel because of your size and that makes you size (nah, I can travel at my side! It’s just not comfortable)

36 you avoid buying shoes (nope, just bought some)

37 you eat more than what you have shown in your videos (she avoids answering this by complaining that the concealer she smeared on her hand is burning, and tries to show off how crusty it is. Truthful, it looks just a couple shades lighter than the last time you did it because you used a light concealer rather than your normal foundation, AL. Well, she says that every time she’s filmed a ‘what I ate today’ video that’s strictly what she ate. LIES.)

38 you still don’t have health insurance (she claims to have it now)

39 your ‘I’m engaged’ video was so sad because you ain’t actually happy (‘I seem sad in that video?’ Says she’s very happy. Says she gets butterflies in her stomach. Nah, that’s rumbling from digestion.)

40 you weigh 600 pounds again (nope, never been higher than 572.4 (LIIIIIIES - and doesn’t tell us her current weight))

41 you don’t like spicy food (she loooooves spicy food)

42 disrespectful towards the viewers who care about you (I disagree! I’m disrespectful against those who are disrespectful against me! Blah blah blah, I have no logic, I am a bitch. We know, AL.)

43 the Nicovado videos were hurtful (yup, she cried because she thought they were besties especially once he taught her how to strike other channels. Wails about being huge and suffering from an eating disorder that makes her this size (way to not take responsibility for your own actions, AL) and waaaaaah. She keeps waffling about this shit. SHADDUP. YOU HAVE 34 MORE TO GO, DAMN IT. Nobody gives a fuck about your fuelings.)

44 you tried to one-up Dana and Destiny because you’re jealous of them (I’m not! Nope nope nope!)

45 you’re not engaged, we haven’t seen Becky since the engagement (Yes, she’s engaged)

46 you have a camera personal (yup, sure does)

47 you literally just assume everyone hates you (yup)

48 you have OCD (yes, yes she was diagnosed (NO YOU DON’T YOU FUCKWAFFLE. WebMD is not an official diagnosis. And once again, SHADDUP. Fuck me. I’m out of booze. But I’ve been typing by feel for a bit now, so it’s okay. She’s still rambling so I am rummaging around. Still rambling? Good, I found my mini-bottles of rum. Got a goodly number. Wonder how many will survive this))

49 you want to do over the moment Becky asked to marry you (yes, she wants to do it over and over and over - way to miss the intended comment you dumbass. I’m pretty fucking sloshed and I got that they meant you didn’t like how it came out online and you wanna change the past)

50 you don’t enjoy filming videos, you just do it because its easy money (no she enjoys filming pft yeah right, we weren’t born yesterday AL)

51 you would like me to paint or draw a cute picture of you and Becky celebrating your engagement (yes please)

52 *rough edit* that you’re beautiful (I am assuming that the person said ‘you think that you’re beautiful’ or something, and she’s going ‘no no’ probably because she doesn’t have a slimming and glittery butterflies with boob-ass cleavage going to her chin(s) on YouTube unlike snapchat)

53 you love Trump (no hated him since day one - deleted the video she made about it, though, because people were mean)

54 you have the ability to reflect on yourself and admit to your wrongs (yup)

55 you see yourself smaller than you actually are (yes)

56 you’re a very loving person and would do just about anything for anyone without hesitation (yes - except not)

57 you’re a human and you aren’t perfect (correct - HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A RUMOR OR ASSUMPTION?! THIS IS STRAIGHT ASS-PATTING!!!)

Fucking hell. Two mini bottles down the hatch. Let’s move on.

58 you don’t actually want to lose the weight and you get money from feeders (rehash of the first one that’s been addressed before. She still denies it)

59 you’re a reader (yeeees - but only of shitty young adult books that have no substance and a 3rd grade reading level)

60 you’re a troll (*shrug* ‘Am I?’ TrollLynn 21)

61 you don’t really care about your mental health (I do and that’s why I take medicine)

62 you’re settling for Becky (nope)

63 you smell bad (what’s with these false assumptions? It’s called we have working nostrils, AL. Not like your’s which have been toasted by candles.)

64 you lied about cancer (‘you’re fucking disgusting’ - Can’tProveAnythingLynn21)

65 you didn’t make your bed today (she never makes it because she’s trash)

66 you believe in chem trails (she believes that something’s going on, and she isn’t going to say anything more than that. I’ll bet that condensation is well above her understanding. Then again it’s not discussed in young adult lesbian romance fan fiction bullshit stories, so ReaderLynn would never have researched it)

67 you don’t lie, people just read into stuff way too much (she wouldn’t say it’s hurting her - and this idiot failed to see her ‘what I’ve lied about’ video. She’s rambling about how we’ve made this whole thing and she appreciates it because she gets money from the hate)

68 your sleep schedule is ruined (nope, she goes to bed at 10-11 and gets up between 7-9. THE FUCK. SHADDUP.)

69 you fat-shamed LifeByJen (hoooo boy. She tries to justify fat-shaming LifeByJen. Heheheheh. She’s going off on how she isn’t a fat-shamed, except she’s saying that she can say this shit and not fat-shame, but if anyone else says identical shit they’re fat-shaming. We see you, HypocriteLynn)

70 (pauses for mini bottle) you’re diabetic (nope)

71 you’re shy in public at first (STOP SINGING she says yes)

72 you don’t shower (she says yes she does and that showering no longer hurts her and she showers consistently)

73 is it true you hate Kentucky (she says it’s pretty, but because she grew up in California it’s absolute shit. She holds everything up to California - which she has a marvelously childish view of, because she was never a working adult in that state. I now want her to move there and watch as she can’t afford bus-fare much less an apartment lolz gimme another bottle, one moment please)

74 you’re more self aware than you seem online (yes)

75 your love language is gift giving (it is! Because she’s a shallow materialistic doofus)

76 your first ring wasn’t resizable (says one ring was perfect and the other was too big)

77 your first ring was from Walmart (no, it wasn’t from Walmart. Says we’re shaming those who got their rings from Walmart. Nah, we know you got it from AliExpress)

Thank fuck that’s over. I have 1 mini bottle of Malibu remaining, so I win. I think.

tl;dw/r : Please just read it. It's not worth your life.
Thank you for your service
 

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