"ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici / Isabel Rosa Araujo - The Original Troon Commie Cow

[Tragi-Chan]

Or maybe they'd use them in some Chinese black magic thing to curse somebody. Who knows.

All I'm saying is he wouldn't be welcomed by the CCP and would be either killed, jailed or used for pig food. Maybe all three at once?

Can’t feed him to pigs, cannibalism can lead to prion disease.

 

[Positron]

Covid is stronger than Satan:


Morons take Ben Garrison's satire at face value:


Crossover with Edward Gorcenski:

 

[Alex Krycek]

“The mask goes over your snout.”

Way to admit you look like a Pig-Potato hybrid Phil.

 

[The Dude]

Tattoo on Phil's "sternum"? Does he mean his bloated pig gut?

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Or maybe they'd use them in some Chinese black magic thing to curse somebody. Who knows.

The closest thing would be the "dirt from under a hanged man" was in old documents (the same one where the "mellified man" was mentioned). We all know that Phil would be hanged in China.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

I'm imagining Phil in China and he immediately gets thrown in a concentration camp for being Phil. When they go to harvest his organs they can't do it because they can't find them due to all of Phil's fat. Their surgical tools get stuck in Phil's fat and he is then immediately exiled back to Portland.

 

[Hangly]

@Hangly doesn’t post here much anymore but he could probably weigh in on exactly what he thinks would happen to Phil if he went to China since he’s lived there for well over a decade now (I have known him a long time, before this site even existed). But my best guess is that he end up being arrested within a week for saying or doing something really stupid and sentenced to hard labor, considering anything that even resembles work is anathema to Phil he initially gets beaten and thrown in the hole and deprived of anything more than some rice and cabbage every day. When he continues to refuse to cooperate they quietly take him outside and loudly shoot him in the back of the head and just say “Oh he died of Tuberculosis” if they ever have an inquiry about it. I’m not even being hyperbolic about this. That’s pretty much exactly what I expect to happen to him.

You'll be bored to death waiting for something sinister to happen.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Tattoo on Phil's "sternum"? Does he mean his bloated pig gut?

This is going to be his excuse for not actually doing anything, isn’t it? “Oh sorry guys, I can’t do this thing I’m totally dedicated to 4 lyfe because I’m healing from the tattoo I got demonstrating how dedicated I am to it.”

 

[The Final Troondown]

@Hangly doesn’t post here much anymore but he could probably weigh in on exactly what he thinks would happen to Phil if he went to China since he’s lived there for well over a decade now (I have known him a long time, before this site even existed). But my best guess is that he end up being arrested within a week for saying or doing something really stupid and sentenced to hard labor, considering anything that even resembles work is anathema to Phil he initially gets beaten and thrown in the hole and deprived of anything more than some rice and cabbage every day. When he continues to refuse to cooperate they quietly take him outside and loudly shoot him in the back of the head and just say “Oh he died of Tuberculosis” if they ever have an inquiry about it. I’m not even being hyperbolic about this. That’s pretty much exactly what I expect to happen to him.

do you think he knows this but just doesn't admit it because 'grr america worst country' or does he actually expect xinnie the pooh to greet him off the plane and install him as a high ranking member of the CCP for being such a good communist?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

do you think he knows this but just doesn't admit it because 'grr america worst country' or does he actually expect xinnie the pooh to greet him off the plane and install him as a high ranking member of the CCP for being such a good communist?

The latter. Phil is that retarded.

 

[Thumb Butler]

I'm imagining Phil in China and he immediately gets thrown in a concentration camp for being Phil. When they go to harvest his organs they can't do it because they can't find them due to all of Phil's fat. Their surgical tools get stuck in Phil's fat and he is then immediately exiled back to Portland.

He would be transported to the nearest illegal wet market, from which it was assumed he escaped.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

He would be transported to the nearest illegal wet market, from which it was assumed he escaped.

Nobody would willing eat Phil. He's too fatty and probably tastes like moldy cheese.

 

[Lance Private Drop Off]

I can imagine him being feted in the state controlled/influenced media, as an example of what excessive liberalism brings. He would finally get the attention that he so desires, but I doubt that he would realise that he is being held up as an example of how not to be. I really don't think he would get on well in modern Asia, he isn't skilled enough to be a circus freak, is he? Could he be trained into the role I wonder?

 

[Thumb Butler]

Nobody would willing eat Phil. He's too fatty and probably tastes like moldy cheese.

Why not though? China is really something else.

 

[Sonichu-choo trainwreck]

But as those types like to point out "satan" means opposer - so wouldnt it be even MORE satanic to oppose mask things like mask mandates.
It's been said before but these guys are
mall "but all the nonconformists are doing it" goths

 

[BrokLesnerd]

he isn't skilled enough to be a circus freak, is he? Could he be trained into the role I wonder?

Oh, sure.

Chop off his fingers and his legs below the knee, split his hands in half length-wise, and trot him around on all fours calling him "The American Cheese Pig". Tour him around like an 1800s freakshow, present him to the audience as the average westerner, and make him eat a whole wheel of cheese during each show.

If Phil found his way to occupied China, he'd make some amazing propaganda material, as others have already observed.

 

[Lance Private Drop Off]

If Phil found his way to occupied China, he'd make some amazing propaganda material, as others have already observed.

I agree on the propaganda front.

I think turning him into a physical freak in the way that you posit could be seen as feeding into his sadomasochistic fantasies. An animal hybrid, totally dependant on others to survive. and there but for the amusement of others (how's his gag reflex folks? Anyone willing to take one for the team and find out?). Who knows the idea might titillate him, and yes I do feel somewhat tainted typing that.

To some I'm sure that he is the ideal poster child for what happens with excessive liberalism, "look folks, this is what happens to your tax dollars if 'they' get into power". I can see the conversation turning to eugenics for 'the greater good' happening very quickly.

I'm all for people living their best lives, but I think the system has somewhat failed him. Surely he can find something better to do, or to get slightly (much more) authoritarian he can be made to do something more. Aren't there some social programs he could be enrolled in, something to up-skill him? Something that will bring him more joy and financial security.

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

Does anyone under 30 still listen to Korn?

I agree on the propaganda front.

I think turning him into a physical freak in the way that you posit could be seen as feeding into his sadomasochistic fantasies. An animal hybrid, totally dependant on others to survive. and there but for the amusement of others (how's his gag reflex folks? Anyone willing to take one for the team and find out?). Who knows the idea might titillate him, and yes I do feel somewhat tainted typing that.

To some I'm sure that he is the ideal poster child for what happens with excessive liberalism, "look folks, this is what happens to your tax dollars if 'they' get into power". I can see the conversation turning to eugenics for 'the greater good' happening very quickly.

I'm all for people living their best lives, but I think the system has somewhat failed him. Surely he can find something better to do, or to get slightly (much more) authoritarian he can be made to do something more. Aren't there some social programs he could be enrolled in, something to up-skill him? Something that will bring him more joy and financial security.

He tried going to college. If I’m not mistaken, that experience involved a girl getting pissed with him for using her OC in a sexual story, shitting himself when a guy hugged him and getting expelled for drawing a Naruto character shooting John McCain in the head.

 

[Ophelia]

I'm all for people living their best lives, but I think the system has somewhat failed him. Surely he can find something better to do, or to get slightly (much more) authoritarian he can be made to do something more. Aren't there some social programs he could be enrolled in, something to up-skill him? Something that will bring him more joy and financial security.

The system can’t help someone who doesn’t want help. Phil would rather laze around his apartment, begging for shit while pretending the government is paying him off because he’s super duper politically dangerous than do anything which requires work. In his mind, why should he get a job?

 

[BrokLesnerd]

I agree on the propaganda front.

I think turning him into a physical freak in the way that you posit could be seen as feeding into his sadomasochistic fantasies. An animal hybrid, totally dependant on others to survive. and there but for the amusement of others (how's his gag reflex folks? Anyone willing to take one for the team and find out?). Who knows the idea might titillate him, and yes I do feel somewhat tainted typing that.

To some I'm sure that he is the ideal poster child for what happens with excessive liberalism, "look folks, this is what happens to your tax dollars if 'they' get into power". I can see the conversation turning to eugenics for 'the greater good' happening very quickly.

I'm all for people living their best lives, but I think the system has somewhat failed him. Surely he can find something better to do, or to get slightly (much more) authoritarian he can be made to do something more. Aren't there some social programs he could be enrolled in, something to up-skill him? Something that will bring him more joy and financial security.

For people like Phil, sure. But Phil specifically? The tugboat has set sail.