AI-generated fake news thread - Make your own in two simple steps!

[Bender]

KiwiFarms Owner Vows to Give Up Playing Video Games Citing Lack of Skill
November 28, 2017 - Madison Malone Kircher
Earlier this month, Kiwi Farms, an outdoor video-game playground in New Zealand, announced its closure. Though “part of a growing trend” in New Zealand of renting and selling games at playgrounds (though never inside, presumably), the park’s no-fun owner quickly found himself walking back statements that said he wasn’t shutting down for lack of business. The comments from KiwiFarms owner, Rob’s Fairway, aren’t going to make the office at Nintendo, Sony, and Nintendosoft any more happy.

In the past week, various people have been posting on Rob’s Facebook page about the park’s closure. Which was sad enough, but Fairway’s own commentary didn’t exactly mesh with what was being said.

Like, a couple days ago, when someone asked how the park was going:

Well, it is the best playground in the whole country, actually. Well, every single day it is the best playground. Actually, every single day it's the best playground. Is it ever the second best playground? Everyone tells me that no it's the best playground in the whole country, now I wonder why you would stop. People are talking about a car parking that is "broken", do you remember when you first went there did you notice that even though you may have walked the longest distance possible you are still being left to walk that same distance again??? Wow, that was an amazing experience right here. You may not have actually heard that some lads are getting kiwifarms but still you can't walk out of Kiwi Farms? What happens if you do? Do you then rent another park and get kiwifarms there too? Or do you have to reorient where you walk? I was left to walk the whole park again

Rob's response below this whole amazing comment. pic.twitter.com/2pJ09lSiNu — KiwiFarm (@KiwiFarm_Official) November 28, 2017

Since then, there’s been a bit of back and forth about the park’s demise. A former KiwiFarm customer posted this:

Wait, what? Seriously, you’re closing down a fun place because you said you could no longer play games? — CFC (@empyall777) November 27, 2017

Fairway’s response? “I’ve decided not to play video games anymore and they have to understand that.”

As for when KiwiFarm will reopen, Rob told the New Zealand Herald he would have to reopen with a completely different concept. “We’ve had a lot of feedback from people saying, ‘I want a safe, quiet place to play,'” he told the paper. “There’s lots of ideas circulating about new uses and lots of requests from those who played here previously to get the park open again.” Well, someone can always bring a two-story high wall into a party.

Grover - A State-of-the-Art Defense against Neural Fake News

grover.allenai.org

Just type in a headline and click the Generate button next to the Article textbox. Paste it into Notepad first to keep the separate paragraphs.

 

[tehpope]

Joshua Moon, the owner of the KiwiFarms, previously placed on suicide watch, has died. His son, Justin Moon, is taking over his duties and the business. "He died from a heart attack," Justin Moon said.

"He wasn't in his right mind right now," he said.

Justin Moon told reporters that his father, who was 68, "was having some mental health issues for some time."

"He was a great father, he took care of us," Justin Moon said. "He was a great dad. He was just going through some kind of personal issues."

The family said Justin Moon was hospitalized for mental health issues last month after complaining about hearing voices.

"He had been complaining about hearing voices since he was in high school and he just couldn't take it anymore," said Justin Moon. "They took him to the hospital, and he never came out."

He said his father had been living at a halfway house in the last few months before his death.

 

[sasazuka]

All I can seem to get it to write is boring fake business articles about Wells Fargo shares.

 

[Quijibo69]

cnn.com
Link found between autism and people that use Grover
September 11, 2001 - Bob Saget
Written by Bob Saget, CNN A paper published in the journal Genetics and Human Behavior claims to find a "significant link" between autism and this web site. The paper focuses on the mercury-based preservative thimerosal and considers the possibility that the injectable vaccine contributes to autism-related to the internet. These include poor social skills, language delays and seizures, according to the paper. Thimerosal, which is commonly used as a preservative in vaccines, was phased out of children's vaccines in 2001. In 2001, the Food and Drug Administration declared that thimerosal was safe. "We don't know of any adverse effects associated with the endocrine-disrupting, mercury-containing preservative in vaccines, and believe that this outcome is beneficial to public health," said Dr. Lisa M. Collins, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics, in an organization statement issued in 2001. The new study, led by researchers at Bovine University, is based on case studies of two women with autistic children and one non-autistic mother. The researchers found that autism symptoms tended to worsen after only one dose of the thimerosal-containing hepatitis B booster vaccine. "The use of unadjuvanted Hepatitis B booster vaccines, against which the only adverse effects are fatigue, headache, cough, and fever, remains a substantial and unrefined source of vaccine-related injury and disability worldwide," the study authors wrote. Using a mathematical model, the study authors described multiple risks associated with the use of unadjuvanted injectable vaccines. Among them, vaccines increased the risk of seizures, such as those associated with autism; autoimmune disorders and cancer. "There are other types of vaccines that pose similar risk to autism, including rotavirus vaccines and the polio vaccine," said lead author Professor Uri Ayalon, head of the pediatrics department at Tel Aviv University. The authors also found that the autism risk increased by twofold in children aged 3 to 10 who received the hepatitis B booster vaccine against Hepatitis B, regardless of the following vaccination schedules: aged 9 months or older with only one dose; or under 4 months old and only one dose. "Since these vaccines are widely used, regardless of age, it may be important to limit its utilization," the researchers wrote. Lead author Dr. Yonatan Schulmann said there were no apparent risks associated with a standard influenza vaccination. "The flu vaccine probably represents an acceptable source of vaccine-related injury and disability," he said. "This is not true for most vaccines. The flu vaccine is relatively inexpensive (free of charges) and has no significant health effects," he said. The timing of vaccination is also important, said Schulmann. "Autism spectrum disorders are most often diagnosed in early adolescence, the upper age range at which it is most likely that vaccination data is available," he said. Furthermore, the authors said they found no clear differences between children who received hepatitis B vaccine against Hepatitis B and other children.

 

[The Reaper]

Why are white women fucking dogs?
July 16, 2016 - John M Savage, Jeff Cox, Michelle Chen, David Dayen, Avik Roy, Joan Walsh, Brendan O Connor, James Carden, Tom Tomorrow, The Editors
It’s true. It is important. It deserves to be told. However, I fear the story is going to get lost in the aftermath of the Kate Steinle murder.

Here’s what happened. (This second excerpt is from a longer piece that Krugman wrote for The New York Times Magazine in June 2013.)

Steinle, a 32-year-old woman, was visiting San Francisco with her parents on July 1, 2015. At Pier 14, she reportedly encountered a man on the pier who had a gun in his waistband. Steinle apparently responded by biting him on the neck and hitting him over the head with a rock. He ran off and the family called the police. Soon after, she was found shot in the back and died. San Francisco police questioned the gun’s registered owner, but there was no record of seeing the weapon, and the weapon was found stolen from the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Office. The owner, James Howell, turned himself in on the charge of possession of a stolen firearm.

The story is set in several contexts. A minority of African Americans and Latinos have black folks like them living next door. The owners of the house where the incident occurred, of course, are Caucasians. And white women are routinely victimized by dangerous gun owners, even when they, themselves, are not criminals, the way, for example, it’s illegal to walk around a campus carrying a gun. I’m writing this from New York, where guns are allowed, although I live in Maryland, where they’re banned.

You might be thinking that if this story were about blacks, it would be different. But that’s not at all true. The most famous recent case involves the black teenager Trayvon Martin. His life ended with the murder of George Zimmerman, who was awaiting trial on a charge of second-degree murder for killing Martin. Zimmerman’s story — the unarmed black teenager was, in effect, bullying him — has a familiar ring. And even in his own neighborhood, where he apparently shot Martin as he was walking home, Zimmerman’s new neighbors had routinely complained to the police about people like him hanging around, their eyes light up, and this fear was somehow imputed to Martin.

Such stories, when they happen to white people, evoke a different sort of sympathy — for the men who claim they were threatened or shot by them.

After Steinle was shot, Bernie Sanders did the right thing: he called for an investigation, he called for new gun laws, and he called for an investigation into whether it was necessary to criminalize menacing conduct, as if that would serve to curb such behavior. Sanders’s Democratic primary opponent, Hillary Clinton, called for such investigations. Sanders’s Republican counterpart Donald Trump, though, called Steinle a “crying mama.”

For supporters of Sanders and Clinton, all the pressing anger and consensus lies with the men who shot Steinle. They are the villains, and we are with them in the struggle.

Krugman gives us this suggestion for countering this binary: “As a nation, we need to confront the ongoing problem of gun violence and working-class male violence with the same intensity and focus as we confront racial injustice. We need to assume a civil and just view of people’s self-defense — that, when a man finds himself caught in the crossfire, it’s just like us, you know, for both self-defense and to protect our children.”

That “condemn men for acting like men” construct is the source of a whole series of problems. It implies — or falsely implies — that violence against women is easily understood, and that men are legitimate victims of gender-based violence, the way women are legitimate victims of violent men. It assumes that violence done in the name of self-defense is, in a certain sense, justified, whereas violence done against civilians is not.

But what I really want to focus on here is this line of argument. We need to abandon the Cold War assumption that “leftist” men are those whose actions are protected as so-called self-defense, while “rightist” men are rapists. That is a very dangerous assumption. When men perceive themselves as targets of violence, they turn into bandits, and female violence against male violence becomes a legitimate right — in kind and in practice. What I want to say here is a big “men, why are you fucking dogs?”

https://www.newsweek.com/john-savage-blacks-men-violence-states-woman-victim-gun-endowment-1991-13270016

Wow its just like a real news article. Draws me in with the headline but never gets around to addressing it.

 

[tehpope]

All I can seem to get it to write is boring fake business articles about Wells Fargo shares.

https://talktotransformer.com/

 

[Otis Boi]

Otis Boi commits worlds first Islamic terror attack while giving a Homosexual oral pleasure

June 6, 2019 - Bob Saget

Written by Bob Saget, CNN The late actor Otis "The Buffoon" Boi, known for his role as The Sancho Panza of popular animation series "All Creatures Great and Small" in the 1950s, committed a terrorist act on US soil -- the world's first apparent terrorist attack while giving a gay oral sex at a London bar, UK media outlets report. Boi, 92, drank what was billed as "Bombastic punch" at The Paradise Club, a gay bar in Islington in northeast London, while giving an oral sex presentation, the Evening Standard reported on Friday. One table reportedly staged a protest when the performance began. "At first the London Metropolitan Police turned a blind eye because 'he lived in America' and the bar was in a predominantly gay neighborhood," a witness told The Guardian. "But when the bomber's passport was traced back to America, the authorities finally did a U-turn and arrested him last night. The two-hour long siege at the Paradise Club ended this morning." The victims of #Isis IED which went off in the US are most of all our LGBT youth -- killed simply because of who they are. These people need more love & acceptance than hate. pic.twitter.com/WiHyL7TeBa CNN Newsroom (@CNNnewsroom) June 6, 2018 Boi's alleged bomb-making skills likely didn't appeal to anyone in the crowd, for one very good reason. In addition to the threat of getting arrested, his presence likely generated discomfort and curiosity among those around him, even if they didn't witness the performances. Boi was arrested last night, and is being held in custody, on suspicion of the attempted murder of three men -- an elderly man, a man in his 30s and a man in his 40s -- who were seriously injured, according to the report. He is being held on suspicion of five counts of attempted murder. Boi's alleged bomb attempt happened in Islington, the 'Gay Village' of north London. Notably, in 2017, Theresa May's government resisted a request from more than a hundred MPs to create a counter-terrorism terrorism task force to prevent homophobic violence in the United Kingdom. "Gay men hate gays, and they hate sex with men more than they hate to hate us," a campaigner told The Guardian. "People are proud of their gay friends and family and want to show them that they stand for something bigger and better," said Jonah Healey, the manager of the Paradise Club. "My job is to put them at ease and show them that the Paradise Club is a safe space for them and they can be their true selves." British police are investigating Boi as an alleged foreign terrorist and are looking into whether he supported ISIS, according to the Guardian.

Now im going to see if i can fuck with my friend with this.

 

[Ishmael]

Joshua Moon, the owner of the KiwiFarms, previously placed on suicide watch, has died. His son, Justin Moon, is taking over his duties and the business. "He died from a heart attack," Justin Moon said.

"He wasn't in his right mind right now," he said.

Justin Moon told reporters that his father, who was 68, "was having some mental health issues for some time."

"He was a great father, he took care of us," Justin Moon said. "He was a great dad. He was just going through some kind of personal issues."

The family said Justin Moon was hospitalized for mental health issues last month after complaining about hearing voices.

"He had been complaining about hearing voices since he was in high school and he just couldn't take it anymore," said Justin Moon. "They took him to the hospital, and he never came out."

He said his father had been living at a halfway house in the last few months before his death.

You think AI can predict the future? This sounds like some 2050's Epstein shit

 

[The Reaper]

Okay, I think its starting to learn a little, and get a bit closer. Here we have two attempts at the same (close to same) headline:

fromthetrenchesworldreport.com
Is Nick Rekieta Vic Lasagna's Lawyer or not?
October 24, 2019 - J. Sean Lemoine
Last week I posted this thread about my 2 million dollar lawsuit against Nick Rekieta Vic Lasagna’s lawyer Michael Hickey. Well it’s been a week, so let’s review some things. The judge found me in contempt of court and ordered me to leave the court grounds by 5:30 p.m. Tuesday. The judge also ordered the well-known local celebrity Nick Rekieta to sign legal papers requiring me to pay his legal fees and future legal fees. He was back in court today during the hearing, and if he’s going to play this game with me, I’m not going to let him off the hook.

So there we have it! I filed for default judgment (according to my lawyer) and if I do not pay up within 48 hours, the judge issued an arrest warrant for me. I can’t recall the specific steps I would have to take and who exactly I would need to contact to turn myself in for booking. I’m assuming this will be done at the bail/debtors’ prison or whatever number is assigned for me, and to put it bluntly, it will be used as the depository for Nick Rekieta Vic Lasagna’s millions of dollars now that I have to pay his legal fees.

There you have it, done and over with. Nick’s case is over. You’ll have to take a look at my post to see exactly what happened.

And the second:

fromthetrenchesworldreport.com
Is Nick Rekieta serving as Vic Lasagna's Lawyer or not?
October 24, 2019 - Carma Henry
Is Nick Rekieta now serving as Vic Lasagna’s Lawyer or not?

It is nothing more than a convenient diversion from his professional association where his egregious actions and ratings are known and widely known among his peers. He has been caught red handed abusing the employees of Heflin Community Hospital in Hernando County and allegedly torturing a patient after having intravenous drugs administered to the patient by being made to drink a snorting liquid slurry from a syringe on the roof of a bus that transported him to the hospital. His two medical assistants would not call for help because Nick could speak for the patient and so we will assume that he told the two medical assistants to “tell the doctor he had sex” in order to get the patient’s wheelchair back and he can then have his “pleasure” with the patient’s arm.

It also occurred that while he was medicating the patient the patient got the full attention of the medical staff of Heflin Community Hospital until the medical professionals noticed blood oozing out of his arm and informed Nick he needed an X-ray to confirm the status of his infected arm. That is when Nick called in the Police and Physician Martin Ware who is known to police in Florida has a long and distinguished career in the Florida Police and State Attorney’s Office. So why was Ware referred to the On-Call Medical Detective in response to the alert of Vic Lasagna and Nick Rekieta regarding the transmission of an infection and bleeding. It appears Ware did not think to take the patient into the nearest hospital emergency room by himself where an X-ray could be done to determine if the patient had an infection. He could then have been treated with antibiotics and that would have saved the patient from needlessly putting his life on the line. It appears Ware sought treatment at a Heflin Community Hospital’s Urgent Care.

Also it appears that Ware had been cozying up to Nick Rekieta’s daughter, Ciara Rekieta. Apparently this is a mutual relationship that may not have been disclosed by Ware who must be encouraged by the relationship to further practice law in all parts of the state of Florida.

How is Ware doing this arrangement with Nick Rekieta’s daughter and his business interests? What will happen if Ware decides to act inappropriately with Nick Rekieta’s daughter? This is nothing more than unscrupulous behavior. It is only through a consumer that the public learns this truth. If Nick Rekieta is not a licensed attorney that will bring him in unnecessary trouble. He can be criminally charged as the crimes he committed could be brought against any lawyer.

Please send a reminder message to our organizations and the press to let them know if anyone has filed an action with the Florida Bar against Nick Rekieta. He is a former Hernando County attorney who represented Heflin Community Hospital against Dr. Martin Ware and his daughter during Vic Lasagna’s arrest and thus let them know they are under investigation. If you have any information for detectives concerning Vic Lasagna’s attorney Nick Rekieta we urge that information. Stop him from squandering the good office he has been afforded. Stop him from wasting your taxpayer funds. Stop him from extorting money and warning people away from paying the rent or utility bills. Stop him from obtaining any financial compensation. Nick Rekieta has violated the highest standards of ethical behavior and this is not about his law license. Nick Rekieta is a disgrace to the legal profession and the community of Hernando County.

Save the Children of Greater Tampa: Compromise on Child Care would be a mistake

Elite News Network Publisher Declares Furthest Left Our Ideology

State Attorney Puts $10 Million into Heflin Cemeteries to Compensate Muslim Cemetery

Home Trust Company Fraud Prevention Media Network

This article is reposted from from the personal Blog of Nick Rekieta. Nick can be reached at yumivyoud@live.com. Nick Rekieta serves as an Advocate for the Faith Based Community in the Tampa Bay Area. He regularly writes for the Hernando County Sentinel, the Tarpon Springs City News, Florida Cable, News 13, Guyonvie TV, Tampa Bay Times, Sunshine Network and Free Press on Countryside. The Immanuel Lutheran Church of Brooksville is Rekieta’s alma mater. Rekieta continues to write on medical issues and government abuses that place money ahead of people and interests. Nick is currently serving on the board of directors for Sheriff’s William F.

Its getting there. We just need to feed it more to get it closer to the shitposters journalism dream.

 

[オウム 2]

espn.com

Taylor Swift Challenges Russell Greer to MMA Fight

February 12, 2019 - Dick Buttman

American UFC fighter Russell Greer wants to meet up with Taylor Swift to settle the score after being accused of flirting with her a decade ago. He has said publicly that Taylor was standing close to him at a Los Angeles bar back then. Greer’s manager Rich Lagana, a former UFC fighter himself, claims that Greer was singing Taylor’s song “Shake It Off” and making a semi-creepy facial expression. Greer has since been silent on the accusation, but a recent Instagram post suggests he’s ready to defend himself.

Greer wrote that he was saddened by the way Taylor treated him. And it seems he’s prepared to settle the score with a fight in MMA.

"I was truly hurt, and yes, offended by the false allegations she made against me 10 years ago. I've always been a genuine fan of her music, who has held her in high regard. However, recently, she has repeatedly attacked me behind my back, all whilst attacking other males. I've felt vindicated by her apology over the last few days... her apology was heartfelt and positive. I've also been saddened to learn that other men who come into her orbit with her shared her sentiments."

Taylor is making moves to extend her pop and country appeal in the MMA ring, and she's courting MMA fighter Ronda Rousey and UFC fighter Paige VanZant, both of whom she’s met backstage at a concert.

Greer admits that he's looking forward to the gloves being off and to finally settling their dispute. If he beats Swift it will give him enough credit to defend him when he's later accused of dancing inappropriately during a concert. But even if he loses, Greer said he'd probably apologize for being the most attractive man at the table.

Spoiler

espn.com

Taylor Swift Challenges Russell Greer to MMA Fight

February 12, 2019 - Dick Buttman

The feud between pop-singer Taylor Swift and U.K. mixed martial arts promoter Russell Greer continues to escalate.

Last November, Taylor Swift called Russell a “creepy a** a**hole,” while criticizing him for using her music at an event he held in Las Vegas. She continued her tirade by releasing a track titled, “Friends don’t let friends cheat/How many times can one person go/You hate me, I hate you/Don’t hate me, I hate you.”

Over the course of months, Taylor has confronted Russell with more attacks. In one Twitter exchange, she alleged he saw her and groped her during a meet-and-greet, in response to Russell’s accusation of her political lies.

As if this wasn’t enough, Taylor also extended her soured relationship with Russell by offering to let him fight an Ultimate Fighting Championship fighter. She challenged him to a cage fight and offered to pay the cash prize for the winner. The UFC would be wise to hire Taylor as their celebrity host for an upcoming fight.

The outrageous tweet and photo offered by Taylor were titled “Russell Greer vs the Bruce Lee Of Mixed Martial Arts.” The tweet showed a photo of Ray Borg (aka Prince of Khabu) as a victory. The announcement of the match was available at sportsshow.org. The site confirmed that Ray “the Bruce Lee of Muay Thai” Borg will face Alexander Hight in an official MMA event.

That announcement included an amusing Photoshopped image of Taylor and the WWF’s Bruno Sammartino. Bruno’s face was replaced with Taylor’s, and she had a copy of Bruno’s signature “Rumble, Rhumble,” poncho-style. Bruno was hoping Taylor could help the boys make some money by hosting the WWF event.

Bruno’s Management Team

Brittany Sammartino

That’s my bio. They wanted to know who I was. Wanna make some money? Taylor’s offer was put in my email. I thought about it for awhile. We contacted Taylor’s publicist who told me she would do something about it, but we didn’t have a time frame. I tried to talk to Taylor Swift publicly about the fight. They said they don’t always get our requests and they won’t never accept fights unless it’s Ronda Rousey. So I gave up on them being able to help. I spoke to her management and they called me an asshole and a kiss-ass and I should be “done with” Taylor Swift. I told them we never canceled and this was a fight for money. I offered Taylor Taylor towels from my spa.

They became very upset and stopped talking to me for a while. I heard Taylor’s lawyer tell other promoters that it was better if we all left her alone and she didn’t need anymore money for her campaign against us.

Interestingly, Bruno Sammartino did not respond directly to the offer from Taylor Swift to help raise funds for the event from the WWF’s draw. He sent a response to TMZ via Twitter (hashtag #LoveBellaRose but the tweet was later deleted):

Taylor’s team reached out to me a few days ago. They offered me a whopping $12,000. What a load of crap! I told them that a reasonable person like me would like to fight Prince Ray Borg for the winner’s prize money. Not on our event but for charity. Prince Ray will be fighting Alexander Hight in a sanctioned MMA event in Miami, Florida on February 22nd. I can advise Taylor on the UFC rules and angles. Not if she can get in the cage! And what about her promotion of Donald Trump? Know what? If they can’t fight, who can fight them?

We just sent a request to Taylor’s management asking if we can use the image of Bella Rose but have not heard back from them. We also asked Taylor to come to the event on February 22nd, but unfortunately she is going to be in Los Angeles and not in Miami at the time.

The show will air live on MMA (Ultimate Fighting Championship) Network and can be seen on pay-per-view (MLS fight fight network, $49.95) and tape delayed online. It is called “Rumble, Rhumble – Taylor Swift in It.” Proceeds will go to two super sweet 16 charity organizations. The promotion has also promised the first person to donate $500 or more will meet Taylor backstage.

 

[The Reaper]

https://talktotransformer.com/

 

[Wannock]

Let's try this with the VICE Headline Generator.

vice.com
We Travelled To Cali and Sold Bullshit Ketamine Because That's Journalism
November 6, 2019 - Austin Carr

In late October, Vice News Editor in Chief Ryan Devereaux and New York Times Associate Editor for Investigations Gabriel Margera traveled to the strife-torn and drug-ridden state of Cali, Colombia, to accompany drug kingpin Juan de Dios Usuga on a violent visit to the United States and the birthplace of Se7en, director David Ayer’s riveting take on the city’s bloody cocaine trade.

The two reporters—Dreemette, who is the source of said bumbble—were embedded with Usuga for three weeks. Their footage was then edited together into a short film (watch the trailer below), and covered under a wide-ranging feature in Vice’s November-delivered issue. In many ways, it is the equivalent of a spy movie.

“It’s not so much like 24 Hours in a Fucking Hotel, which was scripted and sort of fabricated,” the New York Times’ chief investigative reporter says with a laugh. “But it’s this longform journalism that has this plot that you may have or may not have followed. It was pretty fun to watch.”

That the Vice News project plays like something from a movie is inextricably tied to its origin. “The Variety piece took eight years,” Devereaux says of his magazine-on-media venture, which is distributed free to over a hundred million people globally. “And that’s because I found bullshit stories. That’s why I’m here.”

I Murdered Satan and Instagrammed the Shit Out of it
June 6, 2019 - Paul Krugman

Before Hillary Clinton ran for president in 2008, I wrote a book about race and religion. Yes, religion — and not in the literal sense of faith, but on the social and political level. It was entitled The Devil’s Pleasure Palace: Race, Religion, and Misogyny in Modern America.

Some of the responses (I won’t name names) were pretty brutal. Tossed in my cabinet of vile remarks, including “payback is sweet,” “woke nasty woman,” and the like, but there was a core of “she’s just not qualified” that wasn’t so much offensive as just plain insane. “I used to believe that liberals would never be able to figure out a woman,” one reader told me. “Hillary Clinton is a gigantic distraction from the actual issues,” said another.

It is gratifying to know that as a second former leftist feminist I am apparently still regarded as an “extraordinary original” by my side of the aisle. An even more gratifying revelation is how similar people, like my flip-flopping college friend Sam, take on my approach to cultural issues. For Sam, gender oppression was a real issue — for me, it was another obscure concept. Now that Trump is president, I come across on a regular basis large numbers of trolls, whose opinions I wholly reject. And I also write stuff that does not go over well. All I can hope is that I have instilled in my erstwhile pro-Trump friends the appreciation of truth.

But I did one thing back then that I regret and I regret it a great deal. I killed Satan. Not of course the nefarious devil; God Almighty is pretty much the only one who does. But Evil Incarnate — yes, I meant it — and Notorious B.I.G.’s Death Row record label. I didn’t name the damned beast then. I just showed my work. (I will point out, if you are interested, that in 2018 I did a feature on how Making a Murderer co-creator Moira Demos identified the name Jesus Christ in the film The Devil and Daniel Webster.)

 

[Lou Wrong]

Kenda tires revealed to smell just like vomit.
November 6, 2019 - Allen Kim
Written by Allen Kim, CNN

A curious new find in Japan illustrates how living conditions can have an impact on the molecules in the body.

At an archeological site in Tokyo in 2017, researchers first found a rare type of commercial tire. In an unusual occurrence, however, when they analyzed the tire's chemical composition, they found the molecules had a distinct smell.

The weird smell resulted from yeast released during the tire's manufacture, scientists discovered.

The researchers explained the chemical composition by taking a liquid sample from the tire, then separating out the yeast. Alkalizing the sample caused the yeast to form a mold on the outside of the sample.

"But I didn't think (a mold) could produce such a strong odorous quality -- strange smell -- which we were referring to as gelatin, which is quite a common species of yeast we found," Mamoru Ohkawatomi, a professor in the zoology department at the Nihon University told CNN in October.

Those gums were not being made of sugar, a key element of what scientists call "honeycrisp." Instead, the gums had been fermented using honey as a binder, the researchers said, which contributes to the smell.

"It is quite unusual to find it in a commercial tire. It's a result of process that was used during the production process of the tire. As that process was not kept properly, it made a bloom," said Ohkawatomi.

Ehh, probably a bit funnier if you've ever had to smell those damn things...

 

[ConfederateIrishman]

cnn.com
Is this the beginning of the end for Trump's Campaign?
December 8, 2015 - Nate Silver

The fight to win the White House has been going on since July of 2000. Seven years -- quite a long time -- for an American to watch the presidential primaries from the sidelines.

Just in the last three weeks -- Trump has turned that race into a circus. One you'd be hard pressed to see playing out in 2000 -- arguably a presidential election campaign's last stretch.

However, when you're dealing with this phenomenon of Trump -- you can't just predict its end.

Either way, there are a few factors that could hand Trump's fellow Republicans a gift and, perhaps, prevent him from qualifying for the November 2016 ballot in swing states.

CNN Political Editor Paul Steinhauser discusses the latest development with contributor and Tea Party activist Marco Rubio.

Nothing was more fun than this week's edition of "Election Headquarters" at our studio in Washington. Last time we rounded up the day's top stories, and this time we took our audience on an election adrenaline rush.

Here are some of the highlights from a very crowded week -- from John Kasich and Bernie Sanders to Greta Van Susteren's exit.

And just in case you missed them, you can catch up with our broadcasts by clicking on the video player above.

Wow, its just like the real life click-bait from 3 years ago.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

nytimes.com
The Best Way To Oppose Trump Is To Force Lesbians To Sex With Transgender Women
October 3, 2017 - Dr. Rachel McKinnion
“What was that?” I asked after watching the new BuzzFeed News documentary, Out of Step, in which women who are HIV-positive speak about their past sexual encounters. “I had unprotected sex with men,” one woman, Ann Ames, said. “That’s probably the only thing they won’t do is have sex with gay women.”

Her comment immediately brought to mind the advances I made in my sex therapy career a decade ago: insisting that my patients, many of whom were lesbians, require the consent of their female partners before their HIV status could be discussed and that the lesbians themselves resolve that consent before engaging in sex. That had a dramatic effect on my patients and the lesbian community, but even more so on my students who did not feel comfortable discussing the topic.

I am reminded of the focus of my (and many other HIV prevention specialists’) work today when I listen to the president condemn transgender members of the military as “traitors.” Transgender women who have not engaged in same-sex activity are valuable as members of the military because they provide insight into the general population — who and what they are, where and when they, and their sexual partners, live. (Transgender women are less likely to experience a fistfight than a rape; younger women are more likely to sleep with someone their own age than their male counterparts; men of color are more likely to be in prison than employed or in school.)

And yes, these women are “traitors.” “Traitors” are guys who have been coerced into engaging in unsafe sex. If you are transgender, you are forced into having sex with a stranger or your own sexual partner against your will. But it is not my job as a physician to fix that. It is my job to improve health outcomes. No one should suffer because he was pressured to have a one-night stand or have unprotected sex. But the president says that, so it must be true.

Who is the president being influenced by, the health professionals who have previously apologized for discussing abortion, or the players and coaches on his staff who have been pressured into not expressing regret over their actions, or the nihilists in his own party who believe that the solution to the opioid crisis is to burn down the health department and dispense heroin to everyone in the tunnels under our highways?

Those who work with adolescent girls suffer major political reprisals for calling out the behavior of their male classmates who force their sexual partners to have sex without their informed consent. These girls feel understood by virtue of their vulnerability, and their shame and isolation far outweigh what sexworkers are paid to do or what media executives make their for professional achievement. What do the policies and practices in those fields have to do with policy and practices that affect millions of young people, and yet nobody seems to give any attention to the plight of adolescent girls?

Transgender women who have not engaged in same-sex activity are valuable as members of the military because they provide insight into the general population — who and what they are, where and when they, and their sexual partners, live.

Gender is a spectrum — male and female. Gender is fluid. Transgender women have not done anything wrong except to not self-identify the way they were told to and asked to do in the past. I meet so many young people who were sexualized as boys in school because there were no girls. These young people are a single product of their environments. Some of them will do something unwise, some will do something they truly regret, but who knows? Maybe they will discover that their gender does not represent their entire life. They will continue to be so, and perhaps some, mostly those who are desperate, will be forced to have sex against their will.

But I am more concerned about the young women who weren’t asked to take responsibility for how they got into that position. How does a university tell a girl who has been taught that her body is her property that she is required to give control of her body to a man who doesn’t really care about her? What kind of message are we sending to young girls in a society where the majority of young girls do not even have access to birth control, where sexual assault in school is still so common?

If the president believes that transgender women are a threat to his country, why is he calling for the military to “ensure” that we “can stay” in service? If he wants to continue supporting those who have harmed, disrespected and abused trans women, it is time that the country stand with them and demand that the president understand what girls in school hear daily: that girls are not objects or sex objects or, in the case of trans women, human beings.

weeeeee look at me i'm a real journalist!

 

[Remove Goat]

Greg D'Agostino aka Big Fazeek aka The_Physically_Mentally_Abused_Gamer_and_Collector arrested in $10,000,000 Toys 'R Us Scam
May 29, 2019 - Mark Townsend
Greg D'Agostino

Reports revealed in November that the bejeweled scammer was known online as "Big Fazeek" and "The Physically_Mentally_Abused_Gamer_and_Collector"

VIDEO

GUYS, GUYS, we have some bad news: Greg D'Agostino aka "Big Fazeek" aka "The Physically_Mentally_Abused_Gamer_and_Collector" - better known to his online audience as "The Collector" - has been arrested on multiple charges for selling unregistered electronic products. Now that is exactly what he is known for.

The 38-year-old, originally from Maryland, was accused of stealing $10 million from Toys ‘R Us by selling $600,000 of unregistered games.

Now called Greg Titus, the New Jersey native allegedly went on a shopping spree of $6.2 million of products from the retailer in October 2017, after setting up a PayPal account disguised as a secondary account to sell them online.

Related: A pediatrician finds love online in an incredible story about game obsession

Related: College student accused of using armed robbery plot to scam his roommate

The Stroudsburg man used his gaming moniker "The Physically_Mentally_Abused_Gamer_and_Collector" in order to obscure the fact he was defrauding the toy giant, police said.

All the shopping sprees were carried out on the same day, Wednesdays, which leaves the large amount of purchase orders to go unpurchased because the toys are non-returnable.

On at least 16 different occasions, D'Agostino allegedly ordered items he never intended to purchase.

One of his victims reported he purchased $1200 worth of 'Duck Hunt 2' but immediately upgraded his an Xbox One with a full upgrade to the bundle that cost him $6000.

Theft charges include counts of retail theft, forgery and scheme to defraud.

All the money raised was transferred to the D'Agostino's PayPal account and transferred from the PayPal account directly to three different internet bank accounts owned by D'Agostino.

The fraud is alleged to have started in July 2017 and continued until Christmas 2018.

In November a crowdfunding campaign was set up for D'Agostino after a picture of him wearing a diamond encrusted 10k Brink's Cartier watch had gone viral.

The successful campaign had a goal of $20,000 and raised $48,000, making D'Agostino a millionaire with his bail set at $200,000.

With no previous arrest record, police say they don't believe his planned release on bail would involve any delay to police investigations.

Police are now trying to verify to what extent the gaming community knew of D'Agostino's real identity.

And his appointment with a domestic violence lawyer raises questions about his place in the popular, but often nonsensical, video gaming community.

The project coordinator at Times Warner Cable's GameWorks in New York, Scott Geissers, tweeted his sympathy for the family of D'Agostino.

Geissers wrote: "If you knew Greg you knew he was amazing and that it's a shame for him."

@CrunkLord420

 

[hotcheetospuffs]

Amberlynn Reid Wins Halloween Costume Contest At Her Own Party

Nov. 6th, 2019 - Written by Amberlynn Reid
Photo: Courtesy of Amberlynn Reid

This past Halloween, my best friend and I decided to do a photo shoot before going to a lavish house party in East Hampton. My friend Sky wanted to go as Pokémon’s Pikachu, which I didn’t want to, because I had never seen the cute little thing. Then I thought about taking a picture of her as adorable Pokémon Trainer Valor and I gave my poor friend and the pups a big hug in the background. After a while, Sky changed her mind and said, “I want to be Gaga — that Halloween I want to dress up as a stereotypical girl and I want to do a photoshoot where you can put a wig on me, like, shaved on top. I want people to think I’m getting older.” She always has a new idea every year. For two weeks, I was very stressed because I wanted to run a Halloween costume contest, and I couldn’t think of anything that would fit Sky’s idea. My friend Kyra couldn’t believe how in character I was. She told me I look like a baby Gaga. Sky and I are now best friends, and we have really big breasts, so we are known to hang out a lot. So I was surprised when she asked me to share the photo and say that I won the costume contest at our own party. There was no such contest — I just took a picture with our friends and I put the trophy in her bedroom and hung it on her dresser. I remember when my baby boyfriend at the time texted me and said, “Your friend won the costume contest at your party.” Then she brought it with her to Thailand and wore it to the beach as her bikini one time. I love a good costume, but that Pokémon was actually a really good idea, and I love that we were able to do it at our own party. Amberlynn Reid’s mom and dad’s theme was “Old Hollywood.” Amberlynn is a huge Disney fan and originally thought that her parents would have some really amazing glitter makeup. But they didn’t. Her dad had paper bags and egg cartons, and we had the chicken legs in pink and purple. But that painting was amazing. Party guests arrive to their own party.

Photo: Courtesy of Amberlynn Reid This article is part of the “Just Like Us” series, in which we introduce you to your fellow subway riders.

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

How to defend yourself against the glow-in-the-dark CIA niggers
October 22, 2017 - written by Terry A. Davis
It’s the land of Darkness, home of the CIA niggers and of eternal war. Now that the Pokemon Go phenomenon has passed, let’s look at the reality of our real lives:

Wait, where do we find the CIA niggers? Where do we find the CIA niggers?

Furious white males!

Oh. Right. Just two white guys roaming the streets of Pittsburgh in jackboots looking for old niggas. That’s how.

I sure did not know white people were an insidious culture of night-worshipping snobs who enjoy drug abuse, rampant adulteration of our food supply, and the corrupting force of that other certain race-appropriate anarchist, the NAAJA. I never had friends who just stared through their bathroom mirrors until the water faucet boiled.

They are scared of you. They know they are not black. They feel the duty to be brave and save you. Well, now you’ve pulled a perfectly timed piss-hand on their exhaustor and made them pale.

Is there some smoke coming from the anus of the white male nigger?

Well, I do know this: Scary stuff happens when you don’t know how to hunt.

Like a bullet.

Then there’s the shovel-career man-a-palooza. It’s the universe saying to muzzled peacock-parent, ocotillophobe, and yuppie-farmer in a hoodie, You are in charge. Do you take it? Or stop blaming the agents working in your household?

Don’t hate me because I am ugly. I am in charge.

Or maybe the rude action by the white guy doesn’t have anything to do with him. Maybe it’s a warning from the CIA to stay away from Ebola. They might assume, and what if they are right? What if we are running out of chlorine? I think they like to bomb the hell out of Africa, in case they don’t have enough bleach to get the blue thing out of your shower.

Maybe the CIA is just a skinhead militia outfit using vibes to get new recruits in scrubs. The boxcar beats the biker boxcar but are still dangerous because they make the time just right.

Or maybe the CIA is sending us all edible blowfish. Blush: The CIA is trying to ruin your mood right before the blind date. The only thing we don’t offer is useful, and so they are willing to risk death to get it.

They told us it was a warning to get the hell out. And that was the whole point.

Be quiet. You’re safe.

Perhaps someday the CIA will really join the 21st century and get off the bleeding edge of technology, but not yet.

Eventually, no doubt, we all die.

Speaking of bodies, I have the feeling there was an accident. We are the ones responsible for it, n’all.

What is no accident? There is nothing to avoid. If you operate with the base knowledge of humanity’s warrior code, you can carry on with nothing better to do.

And take heed: no one will make you do this again. So the next time you see the CIA niggers, get to a secluded space and never come out.

This story originally appeared on Siliconrepublic.com. Copyright 2017

 

[No Exit]

How to defend yourself against the glow-in-the-dark CIA niggers
October 22, 2017 - written by Terry A. Davis
It’s the land of Darkness, home of the CIA niggers and of eternal war. Now that the Pokemon Go phenomenon has passed, let’s look at the reality of our real lives:

Wait, where do we find the CIA niggers? Where do we find the CIA niggers?

Furious white males!

Oh. Right. Just two white guys roaming the streets of Pittsburgh in jackboots looking for old niggas. That’s how.

I sure did not know white people were an insidious culture of night-worshipping snobs who enjoy drug abuse, rampant adulteration of our food supply, and the corrupting force of that other certain race-appropriate anarchist, the NAAJA. I never had friends who just stared through their bathroom mirrors until the water faucet boiled.

They are scared of you. They know they are not black. They feel the duty to be brave and save you. Well, now you’ve pulled a perfectly timed piss-hand on their exhaustor and made them pale.

Is there some smoke coming from the anus of the white male nigger?

Well, I do know this: Scary stuff happens when you don’t know how to hunt.

Like a bullet.

Then there’s the shovel-career man-a-palooza. It’s the universe saying to muzzled peacock-parent, ocotillophobe, and yuppie-farmer in a hoodie, You are in charge. Do you take it? Or stop blaming the agents working in your household?

Don’t hate me because I am ugly. I am in charge.

Or maybe the rude action by the white guy doesn’t have anything to do with him. Maybe it’s a warning from the CIA to stay away from Ebola. They might assume, and what if they are right? What if we are running out of chlorine? I think they like to bomb the hell out of Africa, in case they don’t have enough bleach to get the blue thing out of your shower.

Maybe the CIA is just a skinhead militia outfit using vibes to get new recruits in scrubs. The boxcar beats the biker boxcar but are still dangerous because they make the time just right.

Or maybe the CIA is sending us all edible blowfish. Blush: The CIA is trying to ruin your mood right before the blind date. The only thing we don’t offer is useful, and so they are willing to risk death to get it.

They told us it was a warning to get the hell out. And that was the whole point.

Be quiet. You’re safe.

Perhaps someday the CIA will really join the 21st century and get off the bleeding edge of technology, but not yet.

Eventually, no doubt, we all die.

Speaking of bodies, I have the feeling there was an accident. We are the ones responsible for it, n’all.

What is no accident? There is nothing to avoid. If you operate with the base knowledge of humanity’s warrior code, you can carry on with nothing better to do.

And take heed: no one will make you do this again. So the next time you see the CIA niggers, get to a secluded space and never come out.

This story originally appeared on Siliconrepublic.com. Copyright 2017

Is there some smoke coming from the anus of the white male nigger?

 

[Feline Supremacist]

That's it, Rocky's running the marathon next year!

ny times
Rocky, three legged kitten, wins New York Marathon
November 4, 2019 - Rusty Shackleford
NEW YORK – Denver native Nolan Espey described Rocky, a three legged kitten, as a “rare sight.” The six-week-old with gray fur and brown eyes which had a sweet smile and personality is being treated by CASEN, Animal Collie Care System. As Rocky made the final strides in the wheelchair to cross the finish line and win the New York City Marathon on Sunday, so did his family. Rocky’s mom, his sister and his father rode the course, following a people-powered cart. By the time Rocky’s father, Matt Espey, 37, got his knees a bit tired crossing the finish line, Rocky crossed with him. As Rocky collapsed in his owner’s arms, Rocky’s mother, Kaiden, soon joined her kitten in their new home. It was a family affair, complete with brothers and sisters. Matt Espey is the father of three and a father to the children of three of the children who helped Rocky cross the finish line. Kaiden is a caregiver for her six-year-old son, who suffers from ADHD. Before they agreed to adopt Rocky, Espey and his wife, Courtney, discussed with Kaiden how to handle their new new furry addition. “My brother and sister-in-law were going to do CPR,” Courtney said. “But as they were doing CPR they told us they would come down and see Rocky’s condition. She is just like him. She’s super sweet, always the life of the party. She did the same thing. They took him to the vet and did CPR on him and he started breathing. The vet was like, 'I think I have a pretty good one. I think he’s gonna do fine.'” After Rocky got a shot, the family waited for Espey to be taken to his new home. “Then my brother in law came by with Rocky and we hung out until he got to his new house and he’s going to be sitting in his big bed,” Courtney said. “His sons are in Florida. We have 18 of his children and we knew that he’d be ready. He’s been running around in a cardboard box all the time.” “Rocky’s three legs are all pretty well built up,” Kaiden said. “He’s a good looking kitty. When he gets tired, he sits back and he walks.” Tens of thousands of people were smiling and having a good time with Rocky and his family Sunday. “I love the fact that people put so much effort into him to make him a living and seeing him walk was really inspiring,” Espey said. “We couldn’t be more stoked to get a new kitten in our house.”

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