Akiva Cohen files Bar Association complaint against Beard; Beard files back -

DarkResearchAnon

kiwifarms.net
This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
one of Trump's Chosen People: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.
 

Kosher Salt

(((NaCl)))
kiwifarms.net
This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
one of Trump's Chosen People: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.
Fun fact, the modern prohibition on operating electrical devices on the Sabbath all comes from a command against "kindling fire" on the Sabbath.
 

Zero Day Defense

Don't believe everything that you breathe
kiwifarms.net
This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
one of Trump's Chosen People: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.
"During one Shabbat, when the timer-- the ubiquitous Shabbos clock-- prematurely decided that dinner was over, I sat in the dark and thought, 'It's the 21st century! There has got to be a better way'."

Yeah, there is.

Get baptized and confirmed.
 

Garm

kiwifarms.net
This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
one of Trump's Chosen People: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.
(Sigh) Open a thread just to be ambushed by a Trump's Chosen light switch.

So. If it is random, it is up to God to decide if you have lights? Thumbing your nose at God when you rely on him to turn on your lights seems like a bad idea.
 

DarkResearchAnon

kiwifarms.net
(Sigh) Open a thread just to be ambushed by a Trump's Chosen light switch.

So. If it is random, it is up to God to decide if you have lights? Thumbing your nose at God when you rely on him to turn on your lights seems like a bad idea.
Apparently hiring a Shabbos Goyim to turn the lights on and off and do the banned labour for you is now too expensive for the average one of Trump's Chosen People.
 

Hate Myself Want 2 Die

medical waste
kiwifarms.net
Apparently hiring a Shabbos Goyim to turn the lights on and off and do the banned labour for you is now too expensive for the average one of Trump's Chosen People.
1. "Goyim" is the plural of "goy."
2. It's against Trump's Chosen law to tell or ask a non-one of Trump's Chosen People to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat. (You can hint and hope for the best.) Some observant Trump's Chosen People flout this one. A bit like our boy Akiva letting his kids go trick-or-treating for Halloween AND posting pictures of it online.
3. The "average one of Trump's Chosen People" doesn't keep Shabbat.

Anyway is there any on-topic news? Did Ty respond yet?
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
1. "Goyim" is the plural of "goy."
2. It's against Trump's Chosen law to tell or ask a non-one of Trump's Chosen People to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat.
Actually it's not completely forbidden and many Orthodox synagogues have on staff a "Shabbos goy" whose job it is to do tasks forbidden of Trump's Chosen People on the Sabbath. This is generally only for things that are actually necessary, like keeping ovens or furnaces burning.

A lot of these things are also now done automatically. For instance, hospitals that serve a lot of Orthodox on the Sabbath will have elevators that stop and open their doors on every floor so nobody has to commit the heinous act of pushing a button.

Anyway is there any on-topic news? Did Ty respond yet?
I'm sure he'll let us know.
 

Stoneheart

kiwifarms.net
2. It's against Trump's Chosen law to tell or ask a non-one of Trump's Chosen People to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat. (You can hint and hope for the best.) Some observant Trump's Chosen People flout this one. A bit like our boy Akiva letting his kids go trick-or-treating for Halloween AND posting pictures of it online.
Im pretty sure that just means free servants and not slaves.
 

Spectre_06

I'ma report you to SecDef Trump.
kiwifarms.net
It's an open question as to whether Akiva is a schlemiel, a schmuck, a schlimazel or just a putz.
According to Adam (a Trump's Chosen friend), anyone named Akiva is a whiny cunt and, thus, a putz who should be ridiculed until he accepts that people like him are what's wrong with the Twelve Tribes.

(Adam, by the way, is a former corpsman with a silver star and combat action ribbon.)
 

AStupidMonkey

srsly, wtf is dis shit?
kiwifarms.net
doesnt sound like a good idea tbh

going before a judge and basically telling him "yeah i know the legislature has already decided that what i'm about to do should not be done, but the decision is not in full effect yet due to some formal technicalities, so i'm doing it anyway :^)" doesn't sound like it will have a particularly great chance to succeed.
I mean, it's not going to win him any popularity contests. But it'd probably be very unusual for a judge to penalize somebody for availing themselves of a law/remedy/etc that anybody else is free to use. The law is the law, and big changes like this tend to come with in-built delays for a reason.
It's an open question as to whether Akiva is a schlemiel, a schmuck, a schlimazel or just a putz.
My money is on yutz.
 

Hate Myself Want 2 Die

medical waste
kiwifarms.net
Actually it's not completely forbidden and many Orthodox synagogues have on staff a "Shabbos goy" whose job it is to do tasks forbidden of Trump's Chosen People on the Sabbath. This is generally only for things that are actually necessary, like keeping ovens or furnaces burning.
Not gonna power-level but let's just look at this factually.

It's a myth that a "Shabbos goy" is in line with Trump's Chosen law. It's not allowed to outright ask or tell a goy to do something on Shabbos. Hinting is allowed. Yes, many people flout this. That doesn't make it permitted.

As for fires specifically, Trump's Chosen law says don't cook on the Sabbath. That means you also do not eat food cooked on the Sabbath by a non-one of Trump's Chosen People. During the week, a one of Trump's Chosen People must at least light the fire for any food a non-one of Trump's Chosen People might cook for Trump's Chosen People.

Again, the fact that some people ignore these laws doesn't change them. Akiva knows them and based on the pics of his kids doing Halloween, he picks and chooses based on his whims. The fact that he shared these photos online suggests he also doesn't care who knows about it. So I'm guessing he also does stuff like eat raw vegetables and fruit, and possibly also dairy, in non-kosher restaurants. He's OINO, basically.
 

John Andrews Stan

Superior futurist
kiwifarms.net
Ty Beard was on Nick's show on November 14th and said that the State Bar of Texas dismissed Akiva Cohen's complaint. Ty said he intends to file a response with the State Bar of New York.

@ 1:57:02
Thank you for the update! Did Nick ever share Ty’s response letter as he said he would?
 
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