Akiva Cohen files Bar Association complaint against Beard; Beard files back -

[DarkResearchAnon]

This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
Jew: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Ohh come on, Bill is just murdering underaged prostitutes with aids,,, he pays people to murder his enemies.

It's probably a lot cheaper too.

 

[Kosher Salt]

This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
Jew: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.

Fun fact, the modern prohibition on operating electrical devices on the Sabbath all comes from a command against "kindling fire" on the Sabbath.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
Jew: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.

"During one Shabbat, when the timer-- the ubiquitous Shabbos clock-- prematurely decided that dinner was over, I sat in the dark and thought, 'It's the 21st century! There has got to be a better way'."

Yeah, there is.

Get baptized and confirmed.

 

[Garm]

This one looks like the type to try and rules lawyer God, Lord of Hosts; Like so:
God: You are to do absolutely no work on the Shabbat, not even cooking! Make it all in advance. Don't even use a light switch!
Jew: What counts as work? _Invents grandiose highly autistic mechanism, the KosherSwitch_ There, now I can use a lightswitch because it merely starts a random signal that will turn on/off the lights on it's own, therefore it's not work!
I'm being totally serious here, the KosherSwitch is a real thing, and it's commercial is not parody.

(Sigh) Open a thread just to be ambushed by a Jewish light switch.

So. If it is random, it is up to God to decide if you have lights? Thumbing your nose at God when you rely on him to turn on your lights seems like a bad idea.

 

[DarkResearchAnon]

(Sigh) Open a thread just to be ambushed by a Jewish light switch.

So. If it is random, it is up to God to decide if you have lights? Thumbing your nose at God when you rely on him to turn on your lights seems like a bad idea.

Apparently hiring a Shabbos Goyim to turn the lights on and off and do the banned labour for you is now too expensive for the average Jew.

 

[Hate Myself Want 2 Die]

Apparently hiring a Shabbos Goyim to turn the lights on and off and do the banned labour for you is now too expensive for the average Jew.

1. "Goyim" is the plural of "goy."
2. It's against Jewish law to tell or ask a non-Jew to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat. (You can hint and hope for the best.) Some observant Jews flout this one. A bit like our boy Akiva letting his kids go trick-or-treating for Halloween AND posting pictures of it online.
3. The "average Jew" doesn't keep Shabbat.

Anyway is there any on-topic news? Did Ty respond yet?

 

[AnOminous]

1. "Goyim" is the plural of "goy."
2. It's against Jewish law to tell or ask a non-Jew to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat.

Actually it's not completely forbidden and many Orthodox synagogues have on staff a "Shabbos goy" whose job it is to do tasks forbidden of Jews on the Sabbath. This is generally only for things that are actually necessary, like keeping ovens or furnaces burning.

A lot of these things are also now done automatically. For instance, hospitals that serve a lot of Orthodox on the Sabbath will have elevators that stop and open their doors on every floor so nobody has to commit the heinous act of pushing a button.

Anyway is there any on-topic news? Did Ty respond yet?

I'm sure he'll let us know.

 

[Stoneheart]

2. It's against Jewish law to tell or ask a non-Jew to do prohibited work for you on Shabbat. (You can hint and hope for the best.) Some observant Jews flout this one. A bit like our boy Akiva letting his kids go trick-or-treating for Halloween AND posting pictures of it online.

Im pretty sure that just means free servants and not slaves.

 

[Spectre_06]

It's an open question as to whether Akiva is a schlemiel, a schmuck, a schlimazel or just a putz.

According to Adam (a Jewish friend), anyone named Akiva is a whiny cunt and, thus, a putz who should be ridiculed until he accepts that people like him are what's wrong with the Twelve Tribes.

(Adam, by the way, is a former corpsman with a silver star and combat action ribbon.)

 

[AStupidMonkey]

doesnt sound like a good idea tbh

going before a judge and basically telling him "yeah i know the legislature has already decided that what i'm about to do should not be done, but the decision is not in full effect yet due to some formal technicalities, so i'm doing it anyway :^)" doesn't sound like it will have a particularly great chance to succeed.

I mean, it's not going to win him any popularity contests. But it'd probably be very unusual for a judge to penalize somebody for availing themselves of a law/remedy/etc that anybody else is free to use. The law is the law, and big changes like this tend to come with in-built delays for a reason.

It's an open question as to whether Akiva is a schlemiel, a schmuck, a schlimazel or just a putz.

My money is on yutz.

 

[Hate Myself Want 2 Die]

Actually it's not completely forbidden and many Orthodox synagogues have on staff a "Shabbos goy" whose job it is to do tasks forbidden of Jews on the Sabbath. This is generally only for things that are actually necessary, like keeping ovens or furnaces burning.

Not gonna power-level but let's just look at this factually.

Spoiler

It's a myth that a "Shabbos goy" is in line with Jewish law. It's not allowed to outright ask or tell a goy to do something on Shabbos. Hinting is allowed. Yes, many people flout this. That doesn't make it permitted.

As for fires specifically, Jewish law says don't cook on the Sabbath. That means you also do not eat food cooked on the Sabbath by a non-Jew. During the week, a Jew must at least light the fire for any food a non-Jew might cook for Jews.

Again, the fact that some people ignore these laws doesn't change them. Akiva knows them and based on the pics of his kids doing Halloween, he picks and chooses based on his whims. The fact that he shared these photos online suggests he also doesn't care who knows about it. So I'm guessing he also does stuff like eat raw vegetables and fruit, and possibly also dairy, in non-kosher restaurants. He's OINO, basically.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Any updates on this? I can’t keep up with the Weeb Wars fire hose but this was my favorite subplot.

 

[Son of Sparda 84]

Any updates on this? I can’t keep up with the Weeb Wars fire hose but this was my favorite subplot.

Akiva complaints got dismissed so he going New York Bar

 

[diskboomer]

Akiva complaints got dismissed so he going New York Bar

God I hope Ty gives Nick his answer to the complaint to read, along with the response from the Texas bar.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Akiva complaints got dismissed so he going New York Bar

Oh shit for real? Was this coveted anywhere in writing (by which I mean not a five hour stream)? I’m very curious about how Akiva is taking the blow.

 

[Nontransferable]

Any updates on this? I can’t keep up with the Weeb Wars fire hose but this was my favorite subplot.

Ty Beard was on Nick's show on November 14th and said that the State Bar of Texas dismissed Akiva Cohen's complaint. Ty said he intends to file a response with the State Bar of New York.

@ 1:57:02

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Akiva complaints got dismissed so he going New York Bar

I understand that this is a question to the single most obvious question humanity has even been posed, but is this man r.etarded?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ty Beard was on Nick's show on November 14th and said that the State Bar of Texas dismissed Akiva Cohen's complaint. Ty said he intends to file a response with the State Bar of New York.

@ 1:57:02

Thank you for the update! Did Nick ever share Ty’s response letter as he said he would?

 

[Nontransferable]

Thank you for the update! Did Nick ever share Ty’s response letter as he said he would?

Not that I know of.