Dramacow Alan Tarica - Shakespeare Conspiracy Theorist

[Doomguy]

So you've read Shakespeare, and you want to post about it somewhere. Maybe you tweet something like "hey I like Shakespeare".

Enter Alan Tarica.

Alan Tarica is a middle-aged Shakespeare conspiracy theorist. He asserts that, by reading the sonnets in reverse order and applying obscure knowledge to them, you prove that Shakespeare was a member of the royal family. He has a site comprised entirely of his commentary on each individual line of every single Shakespearean sonnet.

https://sites.google.com/site/eternitypromised/
http://archive.md/NvVxc

While this isn't bad in itself, Alan has a rather inflated sense of ego. He thinks he's the smartest man on the planet, and that his commentary is being held down by a Shakespearean illuminati intent on tricking people into thinking Shakespeare was born in Stratford.

So naturally he loves to pick fights with random english teachers, or really anybody who likes Shakespeare.

http://lithub.com/when-a-self-declared-genius-asks-you-to-read-his-masterpiece/
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/humanities.lit.authors.shakespeare/LnnPYngv_tk

He's also got a Twitter where he rages at the slightest provocation, including none at all.

https://twitter.com/AlanTarica

He's pretty notorious among literary circles, and his Twitter is good reading for your daily fill of nerd rage.

 

[The Giver]

The Bard on Shakespeare conspiracies:

It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

 

[sugoi-chan]

was born in Stanford.

Stratford, not Stanford.

At least he believes Shakespeare wrote the plays. I'm not sure if that's a step up or down from the crazy Shakespearean "birther" theories.

EDIT - Case of the derps. I misread.

 

[Cynical]

Stratford, not Stanford.

At least he believes Shakespeare wrote the plays. I'm not sure if that's a step up or down from the crazy Shakespearean "birther" theories.

Oh lordy, one of these idiots.

There have been a lot of conspiracy theories about the Bard, which include the Shakespeare Ciphers, where the real author included hints to his identity in the plays if you apply some decoder ring BS to certain parts.

This shit was so retarded Elizabeth and William Friedman, two of the best cryptographers of the 1900s, wrote an entire book on the subject debunking the fuck out of this shit.

Also, there have been MANY people who have been accused of being the actual bard, and the theory debunked above long postulated Sir Francis Bacon (himself a cryptographer) was the most likely suspect, which both Friedmans debunked by running every possible code and cipher breaking technique to the plays of Shakespeare and concluded any asshole who believes in shit like the subject of this thread is a fucking idiot (and they'd know, they used to work with a guy who did believe that shit, and tried to get them to prove it).

The book they wrote skewering this BS is called "The Shakespeare Ciphers Examined"

 

[Adamska]

Oh lordy, one of these idiots.

There have been a lot of conspiracy theories about the Bard, which include the Shakespeare Ciphers, where the real author included hints to his identity in the plays if you apply some decoder ring BS to certain parts.

This shit was so retarded Elizabeth and William Friedman, two of the best cryptographers of the 1900s, wrote an entire book on the subject debunking the fuck out of this shit.

Also, there have been MANY people who have been accused of being the actual bard, and the theory debunked above long postulated Sir Francis Bacon (himself a cryptographer) was the most likely suspect, which both Friedmans debunked by running every possible code and cipher breaking technique to the plays of Shakespeare and concluded any asshole who believes in shit like the subject of this thread is a fucking idiot (and they'd know, they used to work with a guy who did believe that shit, and tried to get them to prove it).

The book they wrote skewering this BS is called "The Shakespeare Ciphers Examined"

So what you're saying is that people like this self-important fuck are dumber than Flat Earthers?

 

[AnOminous]

I have this bizarre theory that the plays and sonnets of Shakespeare were written by some guy named Shakespeare.

 

[Cynical]

So what you're saying is that people like this self-important fuck are dumber than Flat Earthers?

Pretty much. This foolishness has been bandied about ever since the Bard croaked, and no one has ever conclusively disproved he wrote his plays (and no one has ever connected him to royalty, though he did receive royal patronage for his contributions to the arts)

William and Elizabeth Friedman tried very, very hard to put this crap to rest, and considering both of them are responsible for a lot of World War II's greatest American codebreaking and code technology achievements, they had impeccable credentials at the time they sought to debunk this "hidden cipher" crap and their conclusion is that this entire thing was a conspiracy theory that smelled of more bullshit than a cow pasture.

 

[sugoi-chan]

Spoiler: Shakeaspeare 'birther' nutters

So basically the big theories about Shakespeare not having written Shakespeare come down to

A: "There isn't much documentary evidence that Shakespeare existed." That's true: outside of a couple of parish records and signed documents, we don't have a lot. But that's common for just about everyone who wasn't high-born or in royal circles at the time. The fact that such scant records even do exist suggest that Shakespeare himself did, and the papers follow the trail of a man who left Stratford and went to London and participated in the drama scene there and then returned to Stratford where he died.

B: "Shakespeare was a provincial who couldn't have known the things that he put into his play." Shakespeare was the son of a wealthy merchant at a time when social mobility in England was greater than it had ever been. He was well educated, read a lot, and picked up a lot living in (what was basically then) the capital of the world. He also, as the birthers are quick to ignore, known to fudge details or get stuff wrong, like Bohemia having a "sea coast" and certain timelines in his Histories. The particular argument that Shakespeare couldn't have known court traditions of far away places like France or the Italian city-states forgets that he rarely goes into that much detail about them: the plays necessarily could take place anywhere. There isn't much about Romeo and Juliet that mandate it has to take place in Italy; change some names and you're good. Many of his stories were also adapted from previously written plays and Elizabethan England wasn't yet a hugely literary culture - oral tradition meant that many people would've known many of the stories he referred to.

Outside of those two big ones, most of the rest of them are New World Order, The DaVinci Code-level theories like the ones that @Cynical mentioned: secret codes left in plays, the tributes to him after his death being code written by conspirators in the know. That sorta thing. It's bunk.

Anyway, the cow himself. I've clicked through a random smattering of sonnets from his page and everything comes down to the conspiracy. Even the plays, he mentions, are about the conspiracy.

Googling him shows that it seems like he's shotgunned his theories and links to his website onto just about any vaguely literary theory forum or website. He also seems to reply to wherever his name pops up online.

But it's good to know, as enlightened as he is, he's not above some classic cow behavior:

Someone he's having a spat with posts a link mocking him (link is in the OP)

He replies with a bit of the classic "I was only pretending to be retarded".

 

[Bungleboy]

What a hill to die on. It's always weird how lolcows always go for the dumbest shit to get militant over.

 

[MarineTrainedTard]

"Eternity Promised"? "Forgotten Secrets"? How can I take this guy seriously when he passed up the opportunity to name his website "The Shakespearicy"?

 

[darkhorse816]

When I saw the post, I thought the guy was going to be one of those "Shakespeare didn't write his own plays" d-bags.

My dad's father is one of those. Okay, Powerlevel warning:

I studied theatre, so my grandfather loved bothering me with that, lending me books. While my theatre history professor made it a point, as soon as we got into Elizabethan Theatre, that Shakespeare wrote his own plays, and people who say that are just trying to be smart or edgy.

This guy goes one step further, honestly. If you want actual, legitimate intrigue regarding another playwright, look into Christopher Marlowe. He was Shakespeare's contemporary and was also an alleged spy for Queen Elizabeth (I'm not shitting you, back then a lot of people wanted her dead). I'm currently reading about him.

 

[Piedmont]

How does someone become passionate about this kind of thing to the point that it becomes the central part of their life? I mean, you gotta have something fanning the flames for you to spend years obsessing over this kind of thing. It'd be like spending your life peddling the conspiracy that Abraham Lincoln was related to the Habsburgs in some way.

If you want actual, legitimate intrigue regarding another playwright, look into Christopher Marlowe. He was Shakespeare's contemporary and was also an alleged spy for Queen Elizabeth (I'm not shitting you, back then a lot of people wanted her dead). I'm currently reading about him.

Tbf, if everyone in my kingdom wanted me killed, I'd probably be suspicious of the person making plays about royalty being murdered too.

 

[Alan Tarica]

In order to participate in this stupidity, not only do you have to not be able to recognize how outrageously unlikely it is that I fit an absurdly specific context to Shakespeare's Sonnets. One that illustrates an obvious motivation for a "conspiracy". You also have to be absurdly oblivious to the incredibly odd coincidence that there is a clearly a problem with the lack of evidence for the man from Stratford. Along with an odd level of coincidence regarding the case for Edward de Vere. But then you have to cap off the stupidity with a complete lack of awareness that no one can refute my "theory". Then be completely oblivious to the notion that illustrating all of this stupidity is valuable demonstration of your lack of understanding of epistemology and basic reasoning. All the while demonstrating a smugness the is just delightful. This level of stupidity is positively hysterical. So thank you all so much.

 

[Adamska]

In order to participate in this stupidity, not only do you have to not be able to recognize how outrageously unlikely it is that I fit an absurdly specific context to Shakespeare's Sonnets. One that illustrates an obvious motivation for a "conspiracy". You also have to be absurdly oblivious to the incredibly odd coincidence that there is a clearly a problem with the lack of evidence for the man from Stratford. Along with an odd level of coincidence regarding the case for Edward de Vere. But then you have to cap off the stupidity with a complete lack of awareness that no one can refute my "theory". Then be completely oblivious to the notion that illustrating all of this stupidity is valuable demonstration of your lack of understanding of epistemology and basic reasoning. All the while demonstrating a smugness the is just delightful. This level of stupidity is positively hysterical. So thank you all so much.

Someone's desperate for attention and ego boosting if they're this retarded to necro a thread.

 

[moseph.jartelli]

In order to participate in this stupidity, not only do you have to not be able to recognize how outrageously unlikely it is that I fit an absurdly specific context to Shakespeare's Sonnets. One that illustrates an obvious motivation for a "conspiracy". You also have to be absurdly oblivious to the incredibly odd coincidence that there is a clearly a problem with the lack of evidence for the man from Stratford. Along with an odd level of coincidence regarding the case for Edward de Vere. But then you have to cap off the stupidity with a complete lack of awareness that no one can refute my "theory". Then be completely oblivious to the notion that illustrating all of this stupidity is valuable demonstration of your lack of understanding of epistemology and basic reasoning. All the while demonstrating a smugness the is just delightful. This level of stupidity is positively hysterical. So thank you all so much.

Hear ye, hear ye! Faggot doth necro his 3 year dead thread.

 

[ScamL Likely]

The real Shakespeare was the autism we were diagnosed with along the way.

 

[Kotspadda]

A like, a like! My kingdom for a like!

Chess, a decent hobby, UFOlogy has merit.

Yet some doth choose in their daily trudge

To follow the mundane paths of a blinded ferret