List of suicide attempts:
November 2015: Entemophobia related & after repeated nervous breakdowns.
Method: tried taking double the lethal amount of niacin
June 2016: tried slitting my throat after bad breakup, quit due to pain.
April 2017: had homocidial ideations and also wanted to end my life after a breakdown caused my untreated dysphoria, which was falsely pegged as schizophrenia by the therapists
October 2017: was heavily embarrassed due to a PTSD trigger moment in public, wanted to jump off a building before being calmed down by school professionals and sent to a mental hospital for a week.
December 2017: tried overdosing on leftover pills I had stashed from the aforementioned ADHD meds, was a failure. Was done due to a bad argument with my mother where she had threatened to hit me over me confronting her about being blatantly transphobic and publicly deadnaming me to family.
March 2018: after suffering abuse from my dad’s side, and my family in Texas ignoring me with no hope of returning; I tried to overdose on Tylenol, with my not only taking more than the lethal dose, but also with a large amount of alcohol (2 bottles of Jack Daniels). Didn’t work, woke up the next day fine for some reason.
Thanksgiving 2018: tried overdosing on Benadryl, Tylenol, and Ibproufen all at the same time, over dysphoria related anxiety. Spent the whole day loopy, hallucinating, and my mind being hazy. Also drank a whole bottle of NyQuil and felt drunk in addition.
January 2019: tried overdosing again, this time with 3x the lethal dose of ibproufen. No effect due to my high drug tolerance.
This isn’t even counting all the times I wanted to commit suicide, was on the verge of doing so, or otherwise didn’t follow through. It has decreased in frequency since I began HRT: June 9th, 2018, but not disappeared entirely due to my depression still being untreated, even if my dysphoria is now being mostly treated.