Horrorcow Alexander Gordon Jahans / Alex Jahans / Gordon Jones / Farshnuke / Alasdair Jakes - Sweaty youtuber with anger issues, Cannibalism Enthusiast

[RealDecepticonLeader]

Also: He's a gemini.
"Geminis are considered to hold mysteriously unique artistic and creative abilities..."- Wikipedia.
They're not exactly wrong in this case.

I dunno, his abilities are certainly "unique". But just because one is unique, doesn't mean they are useful.

 

[AutismalArtist]

My heart did a leap when I saw this thread. I honestly went to university with this lunatic, 2012-2013, also had him in a local minecraft server that we let him in only to fuck with him.
Jesus christ I thought he was a tranny all this time too.

Quick edit to say he still has the video where we replaced a lot of his base with Silverfish blocks. The reeing is as glorious as I remember.

 

[TheImportantFart]

I honestly went to university with this lunatic, 2012-2013

You got any stories?

 

[Chad5⋅5]

That's his voice from when he was in university? My god.

 

[AutismalArtist]

You got any stories?

A lot of people tended to avoid him irl since Jesus, he was creepy. As well as smelling like Pot Noodle and too much lynx spray, like other cows he didn't understand the concept of personal space.
He also tried to join the LGBT club as an ally one time, but got shut down fast (he was very into trying to be friends with lesbians (even if the one I'm thinking of was almost a cow herself). He also insisted on living in the shit-tier accommodation at the uni, where there were two showers and two toilets to 12 people per flat. His family had the money to put him in the nicer places than Randall Lines , but I'm sure thathe enjoyed inflicting himself on as many people as possible.
Couldn't cook, was proud of subsisting almost entirely on kettle-based ready meals, and also probably why he liked being in the shit-tier accommodation, since it was on the doorstep of the 24-hour Asda.
I think I still have him on Facebook, tempted to see what would happen if I talked to him.

 

[Barracuda Joe]

A lot of people tended to avoid him irl since Jesus, he was creepy. As well as smelling like Pot Noodle and too much lynx spray, like other cows he didn't understand the concept of personal space.
He also tried to join the LGBT club as an ally one time, but got shut down fast (he was very into trying to be friends with lesbians (even if the one I'm thinking of was almost a cow herself). He also insisted on living in the shit-tier accommodation at the uni, where there were two showers and two toilets to 12 people per flat. His family had the money to put him in the nicer places than Randall Lines , but I'm sure thathe enjoyed inflicting himself on as many people as possible.
Couldn't cook, was proud of subsisting almost entirely on kettle-based ready meals, and also probably why he liked being in the shit-tier accommodation, since it was on the doorstep of the 24-hour Asda.
I think I still have him on Facebook, tempted to see what would happen if I talked to him.

We have an in boiz.

 

[Odie Esty]

Encyclopedia jahanica: 2nd Edition incoming boys

It's been largely quiet on the jahans frpont the last few days. Despite the allure of the video "i apologize 4chan, let's bury the hatchet" it's about 20 minutes of shit talk and 2 hours of 4 of ramble. Nothing noteworthy (yet).

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Despite the allure of the video "i apologize 4chan, let's bury the hatchet" it's about 20 minutes of shit talk and 2 hours of 4 of ramble. Nothing noteworthy (yet).

Yeah, wasn't he hyping that one up with a few tweets?

 

[Barracuda Joe]

Update on the Jahans front (regarding twotter): Tries desperately to establish his disinterest in his "trolls" and "haters", while proving otherwise with constant posting about people disagreeing with him.
Recanted: (Is playing Skyward Sword, and making trivial updates for a trivial youtube channel.)
Retweeting ben carson drama and the human-buffalo romance jokes leveled at people outraged over a gay character in beauty and the beast.
Talking about his "love/hate" relationship with capitalism (while exposing his victimization complex regarding his uselessness in society and trying to justify his autistic screeching regarding minimum income rates.)[Theorycraft]

Edit: Still can't let go of those "muh russian hacking" articles.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

Update on the Jahans front (regarding twotter): Tries desperately to establish his disinterest in his "trolls" and "haters", while proving otherwise with constant posting about people disagreeing with him.
Is playing Skyward Sword, and making trivial updates for a trivial youtube channel.
Retweeting ben carson drama and the human-buffalo romance jokes leveled at people outraged over a gay character in beauty and the beast.
Talking about his "love/hate" relationship with capitalism while exposing his victimization complex regarding his uselessness in society and trying to justify his autistic screeching regarding minimum income rates.

Edit: Still can't let go of those "muh russian hacking" articles.

Got caps?

 

[Barracuda Joe]

Got caps?

I'll get some caps

Edit: The Skyward Sword playthrough is not his. It's chuggaconroy's, so I can't hand him that L.
Muh Russia:

Spoiler

Abusive Relationship with Capatilism/Dear Trolls:

Spoiler

Carson:

Spoiler

 

[TheImportantFart]

This guy's Facebook is a fucking goldmine. He posts so much. This is what I gathered from a short scroll down his newsfeed:

This kid's a slightly less autistic, British Chris with no Sonichu. It's great.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

British Chris with no Sonichu. It's great.

Well then friend, let me tell you that you're wrong. This dude has a Sonichu, but it isn't a comic. It's strictly writing, he calls it "The Multiverse" and it's a horrorshow of the highest degree.

 

[TheImportantFart]

Well then friend, let me tell you that you're wrong. This dude has a Sonichu, but it isn't a comic. It's strictly writing, he calls it "The Multiverse" and it's a horrorshow of the highest degree.

I know about his fanfiction, I just don't think he foregrounds it as much as Chris did with Sonichu, at least not from what I've seen. But yes, you're right, he has a Sonichu of sorts.

 

[Odie Esty]

He did spend his last 3 videos reiterating his dumb little multiverse. Speaking of which:

MAN THE HATCHES

 

[Kilted Gentleman]

Jahans wrote a thing about masculinity and how he's a hard sonofabitch these days from boys spitting on his food and throwing his shoes on the roof in school

http://farsh-nuke.blogspot.com/2017/03/masculinity.html
http://archive.md/GaAIK

It’s just the brutal logic of survival as learned in the playground. Doctor Who Who and the Daleks taught me how to define and express bigotry and zxenophobia but school showed me.

I don’t know how women grow up but I know that when my mum and my sister have told me about the bullying they have received I have wanted to laugh. It’s like when white people complain they’ve been victims of racism. Piss off, that’s nothing. I had people spit in my eyes, set my hair on fire, feed me spit coated crisps, throw books and shoes onto roofs, kick my bags around like they were footballs and shove me in ditches. I gave no shits because I had nothing and no standing and I knew it. How women can smile politely and go along with arseholes out of fear is beyond me.

...to attend a consultation where an endochrinologist gives a physical examination and wonders aloud if you even have balls because they are so small he’s having trouble finding them.

Even my precious cinnamon bun friend who is to pure for this cruel world is quick to point out the advantages of a tactical missile strike.

 

[Feline Darkmage]

 

[AutismalArtist]

Seeing this 'man' with the neckbeard he so desperately deserved at last is the strangest feeling.
On the other hand, he's somehow gotten less coherent over the years, other than nuclear bombs and sending all the poor white people to mars to save capitalism, I couldn't grasp a word he was saying in this.

 

[chadmuska]

I couldn't grasp a word he was saying in this.

not that you need to, it's a really bad april fools "philosophy" video and not worf your time

 

[Pointless Pedant]

I couldn't grasp a word he was saying in this.

Welcome to Alexander Gordon Jahans.