All Female Lord of the Flies Salt -

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Fucking Hollywood. Everybody knows this is the (almost) all female remake we really need...

But are we gonna get it?

You're just a shit-stain on the panties of life.

 

[Robot Holocaust]

Calling it now; this movie will wind up in development hell.

 

[Dane]

"Women are brilliant, kind, and infallible, I know this because 3 months ago I realized I was one. Please donate to my youcaring so I can afford HRT"

 

[Synthesizer Patel]

I'm lucky to work in a 95% male environment but in the past I have had the misfortune to work in a female dominate industry and boy howdy I would not go back for a million dollars.

Female dominated environments are far more unpleasant to be a part of, the nice to your face but back-biting, snarky comments and general backstabbing is pretty much par for the course.

Give me the old fashioned in your face hostility, I hate you and will hurt you if I get the chance, of a male environment to all the fake nicety-nicey backstabbing of a female office environment an day.

I can only recoil in horror at the thought of an all female society composed of teenage girls.

My hope would be die in the crash to spare me the agony of life like that.

Shit, this reminds me of an article I read a while back about that kind of thing.

I can understand why people want to believe that women look out for each other - because with men in power at work and in politics, it makes sense for us to stick together.
In fact, there was a time when I believed in the Sisterhood - but that was before women at war led to my emotional and financial ruin.

In hindsight, I should have learned the lessons of my past - at my mixed secondary school I was bullied by a gang of nasty, name-calling girls, so I knew only too well how nasty groups of women could become.
And working in TV, I'd met lots of super-competitive 'door-slammers' who'd do anything to get to the top. But I told myself that, with the right women, work could be wonderful.

But within a week, two cliques had developed: those who had worked together before and those who were producing 'new ideas'.
Most days would bring a pointed moment when some people were invited out for lunch or a coffee break - and some weren't. Nothing explicit was ever said; the cutting rejection was obvious enough. Even when we all went to the pub after work, strict divisions remained, made clear according to who sat where around the table and who would be civil - or not - to whom.

The obsession with appearance meant nearly all the staff were on diets. If I bought a tuna mayonnaise baguette for lunch, I would overhear staff commenting that I was a pig - I'm a size 12.
Two of the skinny girls often snidely said about the largest girl: 'I'd kill myself if I got that fat.' One of the assistants got her own back on the food police for several weeks by pretending to buy them fat-free lattes. . . which were really full-fat.

Employees considered it acceptable to take time off for beauty treatments - and not out of their holiday allowance. One girl regularly came in late because she was getting her hair coloured, and when I mentioned this she blew up in outrage. Though at least she had a reason; most just turned up late regardless, and huffed 'That's the time my train gets in' if I pointed at the clock.

At 'that time of the month' - which in an office staffed only by women meant someone was always at that point - any bad mood was swiftly passed on to the rest of team as if by osmosis.

Hormones came second as an excuse for absence and bad temper only to love life problems. When one woman split up with her boyfriend, I was told in no uncertain terms by her that I must 'be super-understanding and sensitive towards her at work' - in an email she sent me. A true drama queen, her tears went on for a week.

Naturally, her enemies in the office delighted in her broken heart.

Another woman had a voracious sexual appetite and, in a female-only environment, saw nothing wrong with screeching across the open-plan room details of her marathon sex sessions. I received frequent complaints about her crude language.

I can still remember the name of all of my staff's partners and their affairs because it interfered with our work so often.

The effect a lack of testosterone was having in our office was even more apparent when I temporarily hired two male directors to work on a series (camera operators are usually men because of the heavy equipment). The team suddenly became quieter, more hard-working and less bitchy - partly because they were too busy flirting.

When we had meetings with men, staff turned ferocious, each out to prove that they were the sexiest in the room. With a male commissioner at Channel 4, one employee said 'Watch this!', then stuck her hand down her bra and tweaked her nipples. The man and I were speechless.

In this climate, I didn't dare employ any men because of the distraction and - even worse! - catfights they created. I hate how much that sounds like stereotyping, but I'm afraid it's what I found to be true.

I can only assume that it gets worse the younger the women are, especially young teenagers (as would be in this film). Which I only say because I remember high school, and also I've worked with a group of middle-aged women before. Who tend to have less in-fighting, although there will always be someone they take exception to... mostly they bitch about their ex-husbands though.

...tl;dr it's probably best to have a mix of genders/ages/backgrounds in any environment if you want to avoid this shit. Pretending that women are somehow immune to this is just dumb. God bless the internet.

 

[GV 002]

Women ruin films these days. It's kind of funny and embarrassing as balls at the same time. I mean, look at XX. That's what happens when you let 'progressive modern women' make a movie. Equal opportunities gone mad, I tells ya. In an attempt to make the industry more 'equal' they're drafting in these brainless feminist mannequins who say all the right buzzwords but have no talent whatsoever. They're just there to make up the numbers and shut up the edgy feminazi bloggers.

I can see why they do this as it gets people talking, talking creates reee, reee creates reeevenue. It's iust a shame that it's come to this, rather than people actually having an original concept anymore.

The best thing out of the sea of REEEE here is the twats saying 'ERMAGHERD dere wud be no film as us wimmens wudn't kill each ova an be organamised an awesum! EX DEEEEEE!' Dude, bunch of preteen girls on a small island with no moisturiser, spiders everywhere, no boys to call stupid, and no phones to send passive aggressive texts on? Oh man. Those little bastards would rip each other's retinas out within a day.

 

[Computery Guy]

I don't recall exactly who, but someone on this site once described women's friendships as "cannibalism with more glitter and margaritas".

Since they won't have 2 and 3, those girls are gonna have to double down on 1.

 

[Dysnomia]

It's funny you should mention women's prisons, because rape is actually way worse there than in male prisons. The worst place for rape in the U.S. is a women's prison in...Oklahoma, I think?

My mom was a prison infirmary nurse. Sometimes she'd be sent to the women's building. She said they were worse than the men and really violent. They made dildos out of literally anything too. I can't imagine they were all for consensual use. They even used toilet paper rolls.

I think the all girls concept would be interesting if the girls thought a utopia was possible without boys but quickly learned that would never be the case. However they will catch hell for any portrayal that goes against that. I think that the film would be called misogynist just by virtue of girls murdering each other instead of banding together to form a feminist commune of peace and love and lesbianism. It's men writing this film right? There's a big problem right there.

Mixed gender means a Blue Lagoon situation. Therefore they'd have to age up the kids or just pretend that middle school puberty doesn't exist. I do think mixed gender would be interesting. There was a 1969 short lived drama called The New People which was about a high school class stranded on an island after an accident. It was short lived though and very little of it survived. Something like that might work better. Why not rework that concept or make an original film instead of gender flipping a classic for virtue signalling points?

 

[Rabbit without a hat]

Why not rework that concept or make an original film instead of gender flipping a classic for virtue signalling points?

Also announcing a genderflipped version of a film is a good way to outrage publicity. Having a mixed cast would be interesting, but to be honest I'd just prefer an original film at this point, though remakes are easier to get approval from since they are less risky than original works.

 

[friedshrimp]

The Simpsons did a mixed cast version of it and it overall worked. I'd be disappointed to see a Simpsons episode doing better than Hollywood.

Then again, that's not too hard to do.

 

[Dewey Manlove]

I'll address the elephant in the room. After their periods sync they're going to mass PMS each other to death. You fellas know what I'm saying. No Ben & Jerry's, no Motrin, no chocolate...it will be a bloodbath! Amirite guys?




Actually scientists are skeptical about the period syncing thing.

Spoiler

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-37256161

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Oh, and if they set it in a "modern" setting, they need to have at least one girl suffering from extreme internet withdrawal and get progressively more insane as the film progresses.

Realistically, the first few days would be all of them squatting on the beach and frantically punching at their smartphones trying to get a connection.

 

[Computery Guy]

Realistically, the first few days would be all of them squatting on the beach and frantically punching at their smartphones trying to get a connection.

To be entirely fair, that's a lot of people, not just teen girls.