- Highlight
- #1
In a stunning move of rhetorical brilliance an amateur writer has invented a fictional Utopian alien species, society, and world that adheres exactly to his political beliefs.
"I got tired of talking politics with people and insulting them to their face, so instead I created this alien race that can talk politics for me. In my short stories alien ambassadors come to earth and the humans constantly try to kill and start wars with them, then after brushing aside humanity's weapons like they're nothing and demonstrating their superiority, the aliens point to specific policy decisions and call humans 'barely sentient apes' while saying what I, I mean, the aliens would do instead."
Zachary Connery is planning on releasing a book about how to write alien cultures. World builders of all varieties are looking forward to learning the secrets of how Mr. Connery can create aliens that resonate so deeply with half the population of the United States. Rumors state the book will walk authors through creating an alien culture from the top down, starting from their political views and building out a culture, economy, diet, biology, environment, home planet, and eventually solar system that best facilitates making an alien race into the ideal mouthpiece.
"The most important part is to make the aliens a uniform culture that all behaves, looks, and acts basically the same. That way they are best situated to comment on human society, repeatedly insult humanity, and offer blanket solutions that ignore any nuance yet works perfectly every time. Mostly they don't even need to give solutions, just act exasperated and storm off in their Home Operations Reconnaissance System Environment hovering high above the planet. Best part is, if anyone challenges you, just say 'It's a fictional story about goofy aliens. It's not supposed to be realistic. Stop taking it so seriously.'"
When asked if he would consider inventing an alien culture that held political beliefs other than his own he said,
"No chance. For any of it to make sense I'd have to think about how they could reasonably come to those conclusions, which is impossible because only the conclusions reached by my current alien culture are reasonable."
Connery's book is set to release December 4th 2020.
"I got tired of talking politics with people and insulting them to their face, so instead I created this alien race that can talk politics for me. In my short stories alien ambassadors come to earth and the humans constantly try to kill and start wars with them, then after brushing aside humanity's weapons like they're nothing and demonstrating their superiority, the aliens point to specific policy decisions and call humans 'barely sentient apes' while saying what I, I mean, the aliens would do instead."
Zachary Connery is planning on releasing a book about how to write alien cultures. World builders of all varieties are looking forward to learning the secrets of how Mr. Connery can create aliens that resonate so deeply with half the population of the United States. Rumors state the book will walk authors through creating an alien culture from the top down, starting from their political views and building out a culture, economy, diet, biology, environment, home planet, and eventually solar system that best facilitates making an alien race into the ideal mouthpiece.
"The most important part is to make the aliens a uniform culture that all behaves, looks, and acts basically the same. That way they are best situated to comment on human society, repeatedly insult humanity, and offer blanket solutions that ignore any nuance yet works perfectly every time. Mostly they don't even need to give solutions, just act exasperated and storm off in their Home Operations Reconnaissance System Environment hovering high above the planet. Best part is, if anyone challenges you, just say 'It's a fictional story about goofy aliens. It's not supposed to be realistic. Stop taking it so seriously.'"
When asked if he would consider inventing an alien culture that held political beliefs other than his own he said,
"No chance. For any of it to make sense I'd have to think about how they could reasonably come to those conclusions, which is impossible because only the conclusions reached by my current alien culture are reasonable."
Connery's book is set to release December 4th 2020.
