Amberlynn 2019 predictions -

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Which will have a catastrophic collapse first in the upcoming year


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Dutch Courage

Curious Onlooker
kiwifarms.net
The top-10 things I am looking for in 2019. Not all will happen, but at least one or two will.

1. Circulation problem reaches crisis stage in her leg
2. The back of the passenger seat in the Hyundai will collapse
3. Subscriptions will hit 150K
4. Blowout fight with Becky will occur and be resolved, but a more chilly dynamic will settle in
5. Another fall, this time resulting in an injury severe enough to land her in bed for a week
6. She will complain of chest pains or palpitations, and blame it on anxiety
7. She will not reach 600lbs. She will plateau in the 550-580 range. (Playing contrarian here, and it might bite me in the ass)
8. She will be insulted in public
9. She will wave cash on camera to boast of her income
10. There will be another bacchanal in a dark motel room
 
Becky will have a health crisis of her own due to her rapid weight gain and having a fraction more common sense than her girlfriend, will actually seek treatment.

Amber will play the devoted girlfriend and lovingly chronicle her concern and worries about Becky’s health and rehabilitation.

Sorry. Had an optimistic moment there...

... Amber will immediately post a AM I DYING?‽! video which will be 14 minutes of click bait of Amber discussing all the ways she is healthy but ‘so scared guuuuuuuyz’ because she has a hang nail. Oh and btw, Becky (‘That One’) is sick, y’all, and can’t drive them to Cheesecake Factory. Please send thoughts and prayers and Venmo.
 

Malibougie

kiwifarms.net
AL will go dark for a week because she has been admitted to the hospital, but there are too many possibilities as to why to speculate on. She is told she HAS to lose weight. She is scared guise, but will do it. Will not do it and she will get to know the local emt’s on a first name basis.

Gofundme campaign begins for piling medical bills.

Becky also has a medical crisis which leaves her unable to attend to AL. Eric becomes nurse ratchet, or Eric and Rickie suddenly find themselves with a booming social life and are never home anymore.

Eta after Becky and Al are bred bound together one is found to have mysteriously died in their sleep, though the coroner’s report finds fibers of a llama pillow in their lungs and rules it a homicide
 
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Keyboard Warrior

kiwifarms.net
For 2019 (in no specific order):

  • A breakup. Becky 2.0 will be dumber than a bag of rocks and somehow---impressively---even less attractive. Amber will suddenly lose her Southern drawl very shortly after.
  • Eric will briefly enjoy a huge surge in views and subscribers when boiling hot tea is spilled. We will hear tales of physical abuse, terrible hygiene habits, and see all the receipts he's been purposely holding onto this whole time.
  • First major health crisis followed by a plea for financial assistance via Gofundme. (@Malibougie, you beat me to it!) This will also include an admission that "Youtube doesn't really pay $10k a month..." which is true, but fails to mention it still pays enough for her to live comfortably in Monticello, Kentucky (if she didn't burn through every check on Hoarder Hauls, restaurants and crayons for her 12 year old son).
  • Bedbound status will be alluded to, but never admitted to. We will know when the backdrop to every new vlog is a mountain of pillows. She will somehow turn her failure into a game. Expect some more click-baity titles like "A Whole Year in Bed. Can I do it?" *sigh*
 

Orange//Net

Offically doxxed by the Antifa Furry Army
kiwifarms.net
She doesn't die. She lingers putting on more weight, using her now 400lb enabler Becky who was too stupid to leave while she had the chance.
Becky is now just a "mini" amber with worse fat distribution, she also has nagging health issues but AL takes up too much of her time and tells her not to go a doctor. The Channel is now mostly just Becky filming Amber eating mukbangs from her bed, Amber rarely makes her own content anymore she's too busy screaming for Reeses Cups from her bed at 3AM.
 
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