Amberlynn - a year in review -

[Pog Mathoin]

Seeing as Amberlynn has apparently rage quit what is left of 2019, what were your favorite moments from this year?

For me personally, it was the Optavia series. This truly was a showcase piece consisting of manic excitement over her new MLM weightloss plan "my weightloss coach said I could lose 200 pounds in a year!" , to purchasing a hoard of 'fuelings' to display on the counter, followed by the final denouement when she realized she couldn't eat pizza and quit after less than 48 hours on her new plan. Because not enough calories. The Optavia vanished never to be be discussed again (possibly it went to Rafe?) but who really knows.

From memory, the Optavia series was early last year in January/February so almost a year ago. Worth going back to watch the archive purely for entertainment.

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

Haha, the Optavia fiasco is what brought me here! What a rollercoaster ride. My favorite part was when she decided to go to a freakin’ bonfire where everyone was eating hot dogs and chips and god knows what else. Then she asked her super caring obese friends if 1200 calories was too little and amazingly they all said yes!

Also, let’s not forget the plastic containers she purchased just for the fuelings. I believe one showed up in her freezer recently.

 

[SAVE TWINKIE!]

The ridiculous lies surrounding her weight loss doctor appointment, where she acted like she thought he was a quack because (she claimed) he wanted her to lose weight "too slowly" for her liking but then she freaked out because she realized his diet for her was 700 calories a day, which obviously would be very rapid weight loss. She also claimed the diet forbid her from eating vegetables after saying in the previous video that he had instructed her to eat... vegetables.

 

[ADHD]

The "truth about my weight loss doctor" video remains my favorite, I think. He might be a great doctor, his advice might work for other people, no doubt, 100%! But will his advice work for her? And her journey? No. She doesn't think it will. And that's ok!

 

[Angel Dust]

Recent, but the "I can't take Twinkie to the vet but I can go to Chili's" fiasco. I feel like she got more heat about that then her usual shenanigans

 

[Gorlax]

Probably her suicide blueballing baiting when she rage quit her 100 days of uploadeen. I’m actually kind of let down that we didn’t get some sort of suicide threat this time around blaming us haydurs for damaging her dainty Christmas spirit.

 

[GargoyleGorl]

Again with the weightloss doctor fiasco, but I was pretty fond of the "He's ORDERING ME to eat TOO MANY SODIUMS!!!" declaration, followed by the revelation that she was calculating fifteen servings of beef jerky per day, not three.

It's exactly the right proportions of gaslighting, stupidity, and just an excuse to eat what she wants. Factor in the fact that she paid out-of-pocket for the doctor because she still doesn't have insurance, and that she used it as an excuse to hit Wommart for some groceries and other kyuuuute garbage, and it's really peak ALR.

 

[Fleasburger]

Tie between the cucumber boats video and the entire rotisserie chicken video.

Both were so disgusting. But deeply fascinating to watch.

 

[FatalTater]

Gosh, there were so many to choose from. Sausagefest, Shrimpgate, the tiny pink weights that appeared twice and were never seen again, the scale we weren't allowed to see, Optavia, the fake suicide video, the GoFundMe scam, the reacting to an edited version of a Zachary Michael react, walking to a tree, going to Lexington to eat takeout food, not being able to get a Louis Vuitton bag even though she's richer than Scrooge McDuck, lobotomizing Becky....She sure does keep busy, doesn't she?

 

[Dick Pooman]

Still sad that she wasn't in the new Star Wars.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

The non-apology after Shrimpgate & the Great Unsubbing. I think she even showered for that one, more or less co-ordinated her clothes & jewelry & her eye wings were sharp enough to cut steel. But the angle they were at, combined with the defiant chin tilt made her look totally arrogant & condescending. She wasn't sorry for what she said. She was sorry: "If anyone felt bad."; just like we might feel theoretically sorry if we heard some tragic story about a family we don't know. Her re-invention efforts lasted about... 3 weeks.

 

[Moonpie]

I didn't know about her until about August.
My favorite was when she tried on new clothes that didn't fit but yet she twirled around like she was a fashion model.
Also liked when Beggy showed her fighting side.
And now it's funny seeing Benzo strung out and slow.
The captured shot of her at the fridge she looked huge and re.tarded.

Walking to the tree. Falling on the step. The full shot of her eyeing Eric's bday cake.
There are soo many.

 

[GargoyleGorl]

The non-apology after Shrimpgate & the Great Unsubbing. I think she even showered for that one, more or less co-ordinated her clothes & jewelry & her eye wings were sharp enough to cut steel. But the angle they were at, combined with the defiant chin tilt made her look totally arrogant & condescending. She wasn't sorry for what she said. She was sorry: "If anyone felt bad."; just like we might feel theoretically sorry if we heard some tragic story about a family we don't know. Her re-invention efforts lasted about... 3 weeks.

I liked that too. "I just wanted to, like," tiny pause, spits out, "apologize or whatever..."

Also in there was something about how she thought people were unsubbing as a kind of "power trip". Very revealing. She really thinks lidurally everyone has BPD.

 

[LemonTits]

The rotisserie chicken mukbang is the only time I've gasped in horror at a thumbnail, so that's a definite contender for me

 

[StyrofoamFridge]

I enjoyed the time when Amber got on her health kick and actually started to lose weight in April/May, only to give up. "Look how many steps I can do!" *lunges dainty toe out*

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Gah, so many to choose from...

But I loved the pictures she uploaded of her being at approximately the same weight she was during her January 'new start' bit. And how a simple bit of graphic manipulation to rotate her and overlay her using her head as a scaling point revealed that she had in fact put on weight, based on the angle her arms rested at, the expansion of her waistline and the growth of her arm bags.

 

[Tiki Bar Man]

Her and those dainty little pink weights. She tried sooo hard for like a week to win all those lost subscribers back, and some of them believed her hahahah
Let's not forget her """""vacation""""

 

[StrawberryDouche]

-Eye fucking herself while fauxpologizing for shrimpgate

-Cancelling her "psychiatrist" appointment because she was too fat to fit in the car

-Shooting sunscreen in her face immediately after being told not to makes me laugh just thinking about it

-Amber blows an o-ring

-The Williams Clan Thread was and is 24 karat

-Any and all bell bottom ankle sightings...

... which brings me to Eric's birthday when we saw her shin was the size of an actual basketball

Are all stand out moments for me. It's been an incredibly fun year in Amberland with so much stellar humor and commentary from farmers.

 

[Damn Near]

365 days of moon-faced smelly fatness

 

[PRE PRE DIABETIC]

Shrimpgate.
And vlogging calling a charity, when in a past video she has said "what am I going to do, film calling a charity? No way!" (not verbatim but to that extent) when defending herself against accusations that she doesn't do anything for others. If anyone could find this clip ily.