Amberlynn - a year in review -

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

There was so much. I got a lot of laughs out of her scooting around the liveen room for three minutes then using those super kuyute pink weights to do "arm ups."

eta: @Zappazappa I think that was when Beggy dared to eat Amber's cereal.

 

[Moonpie]

Just seeing how she acted when Benzo ate her cereal seriously shows how bad her food aggression is.

 

[letericajones]

I have to agree with you.. the whole Optavia thing. I remember it like this: In early January of this year, Amberlynn had filmed a raw, multi angle view of her body along with a weigh-in. A sort of “before” video to refer to when she would eventually lose a bunch of weight throughout 2019.

By January 29th we ALREADY got our second “everything is about to change” (actual title of the vlog) since her weigh-in. This came in the form of Optavia.

It’s just the way she spoke with such conviction about this program, describing it as failproof because everything was so perfectly portioned, and you need only worry about your “fuelings” LMAO! Sure enough, she eventually admitted it wasn’t for her and gave all the crap to Rafe.

I mean she really thought this diet was going to be her saving grace, yet here we are approaching another new year and she’s still visibly ~600 lbs. It’s scary.

 

[BerriesArnold]

The combination of that hard cut to the loud and inappropriate music with her waddling outside in the pouring rain actually caught me off guard.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

Never healing face wound was 2019 right?

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Better Help was this year, wasn't it? Amber smugly saying "I was OFFICIALLY diagnosed with binge eating disorder" was funny enough. That would have been enough! But then Becky affirming this with a stern nod and saying "Yep, I saw the text message myself" was too much.

 

[stupid fuck]

the return of pointerlynn.

 

[Death Grip]

As someone quite new to this whole shit-show, I didn't catch Shrimpgate but it has peaked my morbid curiosity.
Any chance anyone could give me a quick rundown?

 

[dingobaby]

I really enjoyed the Lexington trip too. Becky staring longingly at the young people playing soccer out the window while Amber screeches "I played soccer when I was ten!!!" behind her. Amber smugly going on about she was staying in the hotel near an arena where Ariana Grande would play in a few months. Aspiring for a shopping spree, but making Becky go in because Amber was tired. And the glorious, glorious food. It was the pinnacle of her year.

And then when she got home she was instadepressed and it hasn't much lifted since.

 

[Depiglio]

oh, man. where to begin? 2019 has been a barrel of laughs!

• the instagram live where she had the AUDACITY to smugly comment on michaelbepetty's weight gain, and then the literal next day made a video saying that her anxiety made her be a bitch
• when she made that atrocious sasusage/potato/onion dish and claimed she was going low-carb, but not actually low-carb or else she would get a headache
• the burger king mukbang where she declared she had a dietician, and then, while shoveling at least 4000 calories of food into her gullet, said that if she simply stopped eating she would survive for two weeks and then die of starvation
• when she reacted to zachary michael and was a screaming enraged mound the entire time, going so far as to scream at the screen whenever he said literally anything. oh and editing the video so it looked like he was reacting in disgust to becky
• the halloween party where she and dana, the largest of the Obesity Squad, somehow won the halloween costume contest when there were only 6 people at the party and eric and ricky clearly had better costumes
• when she made the most smug, disgusting display of egoism i have ever seen in an attempt to be cute and sassy like jeffree stor and jehms chorles

 

[Depiglio]

I have to agree with you.. the whole Optavia thing. I remember it like this: In early January of this year, Amberlynn had filmed a raw, multi angle view of her body along with a weigh-in. A sort of “before” video to refer to when she would eventually lose a bunch of weight throughout 2019.

By January 29th we ALREADY got our second “everything is about to change” (actual title of the vlog) since her weigh-in. This came in the form of Optavia.

It’s just the way she spoke with such conviction about this program, describing it as failproof because everything was so perfectly portioned, and you need only worry about your “fuelings” LMAO! Sure enough, she eventually admitted it wasn’t for her and gave all the crap to Rafe.

I mean she really thought this diet was going to be her saving grace, yet here we are approaching another new year and she’s still visibly ~600 lbs. It’s scary.

i think the craziest thing about optavia is that she said, word for word, "i was looking for any reason to quit this program, and, well... i found one!" and then moaned about how 1200 calories is too low.

 

[clusterfuckk]

How do you choose? This year has been such a ride with this death pig I can't definitively pick a favorite. A top contender however would be the trolling "subliminal" messages and the response.
The commentary from you wonderful bitches has been peak entertainment as well.

 

[lottalove]

This year, although I only watched some videos in reviews, I discovered the underlying malice. Just couldn't shake that off.
StaySi made these wonderfully detailed clips, some of which which I enjoyed very much.
Lastly there was vlogmas, and every day when looking into the farms, I had to grin because of some ridiculous videos title, be it

FRIENDS TRYING MY FOOD | VLOGMAS DAY 10 2019 12/10/19 *** (gorl you know it's horrible, why make them do that? Are they hostages?)
explaining a few things... vlogmas day 11 2019 - 12/11/2019 *** (nothing left unexplained already, gaslight away if you will)
Not a good day | Vlogmas Day 13 *** (we know, we know, you never have good days, so what's new?)
not feeling well... | vlogmas day 14 2019 - 12/14/2019 *** (yes of course, poor you)
BECKYS BIRTHDAY!!! | VLOGMAS DAY 12 2019 - 12/12/2019 *** (oh, that's gonna be sad sad)
My Diagnosis Situation Type Deal | Vlogmas Day 9 *** (well well, sure it won't be weight-related, are we?)
GREAT SNACK IDEA! | VLOGMAS DAY 15 2019 - 12/15/2019 *** (nobody needs ideas to snack - why do you need ideas to snack?)
...
and so on and so on. Just had to grin and giggle without even looking into it.
Then there was this "giving back" thing and I wondered, if my impression is true, that she is really - like other controlling persons I knew - stingy not only heartwise, but also moneywise. Definitly not a person to have around, want to "save" or have any hope for. Which I never did, anyway.

 

[gorl on a mission]

it's between shrimpgate, the williams scam saga and destiny's return for me. the two for obvious milk reasons and the third because i can't believe how much i missed that disgusting little autist until she came back and made amber slightly more interesting for thirty seconds. the becky arc is so damn boring, can't wait for the next butler to arise.

 

[Keyboard Warrior]

A few stand out 'moments' for me:

The hypocrisy in this statement

That time the Grim Reaper whispered sweet nothings in her ear

"Thousands and thousands and thousands...."

Shoutout to StaySi for turning this moment/music from funny to iconic.

Proof of Amber's intelligence: "She barely needs a calculator."

 

[smallmilk]

I hope someone makes best/worst of amberlynn 2019 video, and make it a tradition

 

[ADHD]

Better Help was this year, wasn't it? Amber smugly saying "I was OFFICIALLY diagnosed with binge eating disorder" was funny enough. That would have been enough! But then Becky affirming this with a stern nod and saying "Yep, I saw the text message myself" was too much.

Time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? But no, that was actually posted August 21, 2018.

 

[C3PBRO]

The combination of that hard cut to the loud and inappropriate music with her waddling outside in the pouring rain actually caught me off guard.

This music was so short-lived, as was the dubstep, RIP. They were such a poor choice and always slapped in and looped so badly that it made me laugh. Now we'll get nothing but that boring elevator music instead, and it makes me sad.

Most of the big moments have been covered but a few of my favorite little moments;

• When Amberlynn dedicated a video to "practicing" on the 3 steps on her patio and talked about how proud of herself she was, and then a week later uploaded a vlog crying about how she fell down them.
• The vlog containing forty consecutive seconds of footage wherein some rando neighborhood dog licks Twinkie's pussy and asshole.
• Channeling Chantal by quitting Youtube for less than a day.
• Spoiler: these thumbnails

  

  

  

 

[EvaBraunsGhost]

Well I think all you gorls, guiiize and bitches have claimed some of the best ones already!

I've lol'd hard this year at Fat Albert's attempts to convince us that salad and dry-ass sammidges are really really 'so good!!!' despite the fact her face doesn't agree

That chicken kebab has haunted my dreams a few times

Gorl proving me right - for once - by pulling a Chantal and returning the day after she rage-quit 100 days of trolling

This tripling down over her urologist lie is absolutely breathtaking even by GaslightingLynn standards

But for absolute childish lulz, though, it still gets me...PigLynn from Dollartree Haul

 

[ducktales4gameboy]

As a relative newcomer to this situation I'll say that the last couple days' fiasco with the faked voicemail message and her resulting flounce/ragequit when called on it was one of the dumbest and funniest things I've ever seen from any cow.