So I guess I wasn't exaggerating to my friends when I told them that Hamberlynn has enough blubber on her to keep a very large inuit tribe happy for the next 35 generations.
Amberlynn Is Heavier Than... - Good idea SweetDee
- Thread starter Ambaby
- Start date
Not by much! My extended family and I bought a bison's worth of meat for freezing last year and donated some of it. There were 3 nuclear families of 2-6 people, and only the family of 6 finished their portion 4 months later.
Now, Amber wouldn't be suitable for human consumption, but that gives you an idea of how long her body could sustain other people.
Then let's find a ship big enough to fit her and send her up to Alaska.
Sounds like a plan. While the Inuit will likely reject her (it's tradition to not touch diseased animals), a few endangered polar bears will no doubt benefit from her life, amd that will be a first.
Amber is heavier than 12 dead nephews.
Amberlynn is heavier than the mobility scooter she leaves in the walmart parking lot.
While she does not, in fact, weigh more than an ambulance (most come in between 10,000 and 14,000 lbs), there's plenty of heavy-duty medical equipment she weighs more than:
Electric bariatric bed - 312 lbs.
Overhead X-ray assembly - 400 lbs
Ultrasound Machine (non-portable) - 500 lbs
And more than 11 heavy-duty manual wheelchairs, which clock in at 50 lbs each.
Electric bariatric bed - 312 lbs.
Overhead X-ray assembly - 400 lbs
Ultrasound Machine (non-portable) - 500 lbs
And more than 11 heavy-duty manual wheelchairs, which clock in at 50 lbs each.
Sweet merciful Jesus, if she weighs more than equipment that nurses and paramedics have to lift- then I feel really fucking bad for the poor paramedics and nurses who'll have to lift her when she collapses and can't get up because of how massive she is, and the mortician and cremator that will have to deal with her bloated corpse.
Side note and fun fact: if you are morbidly or super obese, cremators will have to cut your body parts into pieces and put the pieces one at a time inside the crematory (the actual burning typically takes around a few hours) to prevent a grease fire.
SAVE TWINKIE!
kiwifarms.net
That isn't true. If a body is too fat for the funeral home's ovens they take it to either a zoo or veterinary teaching hospital to use those incinerators for huge animals.
I'm not saying it never happens, but dismembering a corpse is unethical to say the least. It's unlawful too, most places.
I'm not saying it never happens, but dismembering a corpse is unethical to say the least. It's unlawful too, most places.
In the state of Ohio, both of those things are illegal; it's considered desecration of a body. Had a situation at work with a death fat once and we came up with those two options, only to be told that neither was possible. The guy really wanted to be cremated, but no facilites in the state (or the surrounding states for that matter) had a retort that could torch a 600 pound body. The family just had to settle for burial in an enormous casket.
Hellbound Hellhound
kiwifarms.net
That law really makes no sense to me. Deathfats desecrate their bodies every day by pumping themselves full of lard and high fructose corn syrup, but somehow after they've died medical professionals aren't allowed to do what they have to in order to fulfill the wishes of the deceased?
TotallyAChick
kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn Greed is heavier than 4000 darts and a healthy woman added together.
bev
kiwifarms.net
You'd be surprised by how predominant of a role religion+religious beliefs still play in state legislation. It doesn't have to make sense in contemporary society if it did at some point in the past. Besides, the $tate doe$n't give a $hit about an individual'$ wishe$, e$pecially if they're dead.
I can just picture an elderly married couple on the graveyard as Amber is being cremated and the wife going "Honey, did you take some bacon from today's breakfast with you?" as the odor of Amber's massive corpse fills the graveyard lmaoSide note and fun fact: if you are morbidly or super obese, cremators will have to cut your body parts into pieces and put the pieces one at a time inside the crematory (the actual burning typically takes around a few hours) to prevent a grease fire.
Amber is heavier than a blue whale heart.
On the topic of marine life, she weighs more than:
a dwarf sperm whale (400 lbs)
3 baiji whales (180 lbs each)
a male giant squid (while they're 33 feet long, they're only 440 lbs)
monk seals (440 to 490 lbs, depending if you're going Hawaiian or Caribbean)
Atlantic blue marlin... make that times two (210 lbs each)
pygmy killer whales (370 lbs)
southern bluefin tuna (320 lbs)
great hammerhead shark (500 lbs)
a dwarf sperm whale (400 lbs)
3 baiji whales (180 lbs each)
a male giant squid (while they're 33 feet long, they're only 440 lbs)
monk seals (440 to 490 lbs, depending if you're going Hawaiian or Caribbean)
Atlantic blue marlin... make that times two (210 lbs each)
pygmy killer whales (370 lbs)
southern bluefin tuna (320 lbs)
great hammerhead shark (500 lbs)
- Tags
- None