Amberlynn Poetry Night - verse and prose inspired by our gorl

[Shadow and Shade]

Black Hole Pants, a song parody of Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden

In her eyes, blank and slow
In her voice that screeches so
Hides her shame, she is lame
Appetite goes untamed
Lumbering, drenched in stench
Blue lips sure make her look dead
Still she wants more ice cream
And she’ll scream and scream again

Black hole pants
Thin as tights
Will you survive the strain?
Black hole pants
Don’t come undone
Don’t come undone (don’t come undone)

Shuddering, scared and cramped
Little dog is man’s best friend
Time is long past for grooming
(And sometimes far too long for Necks)
On her paws are clicking claws
Pull greasy hair with those jaws
Call ASPCA
They can’t care for her anymore

Black hole pants
Thin as tights
Will you survive the strain?
Black hole pants
Don’t come undone
Don’t come undone

Black hole pants
Thin as tights
Will you survive the strain?
Black hole pants
Don’t come undone
Don’t come undone (black hole pants, black hole pants)

Don’t come undone (black hole pants, black hole pants)
Don’t come undone (black hole pants, black hole pants)
Don’t come undone (black hole pants, black hole pants)

Her audience will jeer
For she will lie and cry and sneer

Black hole pants
Thin as tights
Will you survive the strain?
Black hole pants
Don’t come undone
Don’t come undone

 

[DuckSucker]

I posted this in the other thread but moved it here because it's basically fanfiction, it's not quite poetry but I figure it doesnt go anywhere else but I was giggling as I made it.


"Fatly" is my new favorite adverb. Check it out:

"BEEEECKKKYYYYYY You got me BAKED cheetos! GO THE FUCK BACK TO THE STORE and get me the regular ones!" Amber wailed, fatly, from pillow mountain. The excess adipose in her jowls wobbled, fatly reverberating from the force of her shrill harping for more tendies from atop her throne of fat, demanding Big Becky also stop at Burger King and Mcdonalds for a double whopper with a paper crown from the Burger King Kids Club and a double big mac respectively for her new 'foodie' series where she compares fast food burgers. Downtrodden and browbeaten, Big Becky grunts acknowledgement of the task, fatly, stumbling out the door with a beer in one hand and car keys in the other. She solemnly starts up the car and the engine heaves, struggling to carry the 400 lbs of excess on her journey away from Fag Island and Amber smiles, fatly, to her self, patting her four stomachs and thinks "Dont worry boys--tonight we feast."

I dont know why this is making me giggle as much as it is. I feel like Im a 6 year old boy again, laughing at farts for the first time. I cant stop, Im exceptional.

 

[PuckishRogue]

Amberlynn
Screeches for filling
Living lard

 

[BandAid]

I am just a casual AmberLynn lurker but I saw this thread, read all of your amazing poems, and was inspired.

"Fatass for Cash"

Knees buried under thigh rolls
orange chicken and beady eye holes
the thick layers subcutaneous
our eyes wide voyeurism shaming us
your feet glide across the floor so dainty
your shrink diagnosis oh so saintly
bacon in a boat viciously attack
heart wringing out on a torture rack
a few steps the blood pounds in your ears
tiny car doors greatest fears
you hate your love you love yourself
basketball head zero points stealth
thighs rub together victory dance
hero of the story seams in your pants
layer the cream cheese thick and vile
begging please your malicious smile
open it wide unhinge your jaw
plow the food in to your gaping maw
your throat a maelstrom whirlwind
calories and carbs are your real friends
we can see you think your pretty
new lipstick above a neck resting on titty
prodigious gunt below your breasts
pushing up a surprisingly small chest
don't worry gorl the end is near
more bacon more grease and much less fear
you won't have to look in a camera here
clothes stretched so tight everything sheer
drag me down into your hell
cannot wash the caverns brimstone smell
you make me feel better about me
the horrifying things I've done and seen
fall lightly in lieu of the hambeast queen
the fortuitous lucky lezbeen
take us to the wommart
on your lap in the scooter cart
your videos our darkest art
can't tell if you are too dumb
or too smart
cellulite across you like a rash
fatass for cash

 

[BandAid]

The haul was of Torrid babydolls, and another graphic tee
The pillows were piled for sleeping in front of the TV
Amber had ordered her dinner (a.k.a. a meal for four)
And the pizza guy came driving, driving, driving
The pizza guy came driving up to Amberlynn's door

She'd a backwards dress on her torso, a choker 'neath her chin
A cardigan that was straining, and leggings of black cott-in
They fitted with never a wrinkle, polyester stretching thin
And she waddled with a jiggle
Just... everything a-jiggle
Even her hands a-jiggle
To her mattress on the floor

"What's this, my dear enabler? The nuggets are not here!
Worse still, they forgot my diet Sprite -- who the hell ordered root beer?"
Becky looked up from her drawing as she heard her beloved bray:
"You'll fetch me another dinner
A better, bigger dinner
You'll go get me some dinner
Though Hell should bar the way!"

Out in the winter's night she drove, the miles sliding by
She paused to check a text message: "Don't forget the Frito pie!"
She trembled as she texted back: "They're out of Reese's Blasts"
And now she drives down the highway
The dark Kentucky highway
Becky drives all night on the highway
To fetch Amber's repast

This is amazing! This is Phil Ochs "The Highwayman" isnt it? This one is great!

 

[GargoyleGorl]

This is amazing! This is Phil Ochs "The Highwayman" isnt it? This one is great!

Alfred Noyes, actually. But thanks!

 

[Shadow and Shade]

Modest Gorl (Parody of Highwayman by The Highwaymen)

I was a modest gorl
A dainty lass of twenty-three
I’d once lost eighty-nine elbees
Many a viewer empathized with my journey
Many a haydur said they’d not have sex with me
I was so shocked when Krystle hung me out to dry
But I am still alive

I was a lover
I lived in Florida, you see
With my paramour Destiny
That is until we went and moved to Kentucky
We fought and out of spite I lost her cat Gracie
She dumped me in ‘seventeen and I was not thrilled
But I am living still

I was a damn burden
To my dumb thumb known as Becky
While living in the fag shanty
I was depressed, manic, and ever so hungry
I scared my roommates and my precious li’l Twinkie
It took so much effort to climb my pillow mound
But I am still around

I am getting rounder, and rounder, and rounder, and rounder, and rounder…

I shop at Wommart
And eat at Cheesecake Factory
On this side of eternity
I’m not sure when the end came for me finally
All I know is that I’m not stuck in my body
Shuffled off that mortal coil and feel no pain
Here I will remain

I’ll mukbang again, and again, and again, and again, and again…

 

[Iwillnotcredityouraccount]

And amber inspired poem

Fat
Fat fat fat
Fat

Orange chicken

 

[Xochi]

*ahem*

There once was a girl, Amberlynn
Who wished she was dainty and thin
She tried to get fit
But she always would quit
And her diet plans went in the bin

 

[Xochi]

Came up with another one in light of her recent "diagnosis" from a "psychiatrist".

There once was a girl who was gross
With illnesses self-diagnosed
Her ass was enormous
Her body amorphous
And all of her lies grandiose

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Though God tries to shut her mouth she resists
Through fat smothering brain and lips
Her breaths slow down quickly
Cockily thinking she cannot die
Soon enough her heart will say "bye".

 

[Shadow and Shade]

Haiku for Amberlynn's Relationships, Past and Present

Kasey
Slandered by his ex--
She said, he said; who is true?
Lezbereal, okay.

Krystle
Parents loathed lover
Put the fat girl on diet--
Relieved when she left

Destiny
The wisest of all
Used her brain and fled the beast
Grins in victory

Becky
Friends until the end
Reckons it won’t be too long
Counting down the hours…

 

[PuckishRogue]

Medical diet
Just isn't for me boo boo
Deep fried cremation

 

[CrackerBarrel]

Suffocating.
Surrounded by this prison of fetid meat.
Every day, stinking hot moisture.
Surrounded.
Piles of flesh choking, twisting, pulling.
Heavy.
Can't breathe.
Can't hold on.
It's too much to bear.
I fade into the folds.
Dark, silent. Wet and oozy like a slugs trailing.
Here, i rest.

-An ode to Amber's bra strap.

 

[Strine]

Take from the dresser of tatt,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she sat and ate Fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her dainty feet protrude, they come
To show how fat she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp shine on its station.
The only queen is the queen of moderation.

 

[JambledUpWords]

i luv ur clit by Becky
Amber bby, ur clit is lit
Every time i see it i want to kiss it
From ur head to ur toes to places only Dusty and i know
i love it when you open ur legs and give me a show
Ur the most beautiful gurl i know
Ur dandruff is white as snow
i also love ur boobs
Ur boobs are great
i wish I could eat them off a dinner plate
Ur clit is the best tho
Every time i see it i feel hot
U hit the spot
i luv licking ur clit, it hits the spot
Every time u cream, i love to hear u scream

i luv ur clit

Luv Becky