Rigor Meowtis

Good thing I don't know how to read
Mar 10, 2019

td;lr: most boring fucking video in the world and it makes me want to ram my head into a wall.

Apologizes if I messed up some things, this is the first summary I've ever made.


0:04: "Welcome to Part Two *deep breathing* of Americans trying Japanese Snacks"
0:10: Our gorl tells us she is big fan of the Japanese culture.
0:21: Necky looks disgusted as Hamber displays the rest of the snacks, mentally preparing to eat sloppy seconds.
0:41 : Hamber explains why she and Necky share food, stressing that they are dating, makes an excuse for her to have the first bite of the snacks.

0:52: First snack! Hamber says it looks like a slab of meat. Necky is extremely disgusted.
1:00: "You ate everything last time, you have to do it again."
1:24: Smug laugh as Hamber attempts to force Necky to eat it.
1:37: Necky does not eat it, looks to the camera searching for a desperate escape from this hell
1:50: Hamber likes the taste, but not the texture. Of course, Our Gorl will eat anything to sustain herself.

1:56: Second Snack, it's the same thing from before, but it's octopus flavored.
2:05: Necky refuses to eat it, Hamber digs in and is shocked at how the packaging peels off.
2:14: Our Gorl just HAS to try it. Danity bites uwu
2:36: Does not like it, couldn't eat it, but still had to take a bite from it because she couldn't resist not eating anything.

2:46: Third Snack! It's a tiny package of dry ramen.
2:55: Necky thinks you have to cook the package in order to eat it. Or it's just erasers.
3:00: Our Gorl shares the snack instead of taking the first bite herself.
3:20: Hamber didn't like the flavor, ate more than Necky. Necky liked it.

3:28: Fourth Snack. It is another "flat one". Necky once again refuses to try it. You get the picture of this.
3:40 : Danity bites from Our Gorl again. The snack is Wasabi flavored. Hamber likes it
3:45: "Isn't Wasabi Hot?" - Necky

3:57: The Fifth Snack! For some reason, the packaging reminds me of birth control pills. They look like the dot candy.
4:12: Hamber choose a pink candy, Necky chooses blue for the ~aesthetic~.
4:37: Danity gorl lip smacking.
4:45: All of the candy is in a banana flavor, despite being in different colors. (Pink, blue, yellow respectively) Overall consensus between the hamplanets is that it was good.

4:50: Sixth Snack. A pink candy substance in a tube. Got a nice screencap from this shot.
our gorl.PNG
5:01: More lip smacking!!!
5:08: It's actually jello. Hamber looks like she has never seen pink jello before.
5:17: Hamber makes an EPIC comeback at the reaction to her audience seeing Necky devour sloppy seconds. She basically asks her if she wants to try the jello from the top or the other end "so people don't get creeped out."
5:20: To appease her kweuun, Necky eats it from the top.
5:26: Pill candy is brought back, as Hamber now tastes a bubblegum flavor. It's not from this candy as there was no taste.
6:00: Necky compares the flavor to gummy frog candy.

6:15: Seventh Snack. Looks like chocolate candy. Hamber compares it to a turd. It does remind me of her poop bun so I guess she's not wrong.
6:33 "I don't want to try this!! I'm really creeped out!" Our Gorl still takes a dainty widdle nibble.
6:45: "So much flavor."
7:00: Necky thinks it's a piece of dried strawberry, has it touch her tongue, and gags like a dog.

7:05: Eighth Snack! Hamber compares the kawaii animal characters to herself and Necky. Necky does not want to be brown gaius!!!
becky does not want to be brown.PNG
7:18: Candy looks like smarties. Neither one of them like smarties and further prove they have no taste.
7:27: Hamber compares the shape of the candy to ecstasy. She gives a strange look to the camera after saying that. Has our gorl done something like that before??? Who knows.
7:41: Candy is "cardboard chalk"

7:43: Nineth Snack! Another jello looking candy in a spiral pattern. Maybe our gorl has been reading some Uzamaki.
7:59: Hamber takes a giant sniff of it, her eyes widen and announces "DATS SODA!!!!"
8:10: Necky thinks it smells like rootbeer, Hamber thinks it's Pepsi or Coke.
8:15: Confirmed it really is soda. Coca-cola to be exact.

8:20: Tenth Snack. Hamber thinks it's for noodles, as the guy on the picture is eating the candy with some noodles.
8:41: It's more "little noodle things" aka, another dried ramen noodle snack. Hamber makes a poor joke about how many noodles she should have to lose weight. After making this video though, I don't think that will be the case.
8:51: If I hear any more lipsmacking I am going to commit seppuku.
9:00: This snack is better than the last one? Not really sure what she meant by this. Either the jello candy or the other ramen snack.

9:03: Snack #11, Hamber has no idea what it is. To me, it looks like it might be a marshmallow candy.
9:20: Hamber thinks it's grape gum. Necky is down with that.
9:27: It is in fact, gum.

9:28: Snack #12, same gum candy but in a "blue" flavor.
9:40: Even more lip smacking!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
9:53: "Kinda taste like toothpaste, but that good toothpaste." - Necky

10:00: Snack #13, another gum candy in the "pink" flavor
10:16: Hamber spits out the candy. Says its cinnamon flavor.
10:28: Necky is apathetic and doesn't care.

10:30: Snack #14, Hamber is REALLY excited to try this one as it is a Japanese Kikat "with several different flavors".
10:41: However, she doesn't know what this flavor is. Hopes the Kikat is the green tea or wasabi flavor.
10:53: Thanks to our Gorl's excellent sniffer, she is able to tell us it is Green Tea.
10:59: Hamber doesn't like green tea. At all. But she still wants to shove it down her mouth because it's candy, and all deathfats are attracted to candy.
11:20: Shockingly, she LOVES this.
11:29: "MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE!!" Hands it off to Necky, though it's obvious she wants to eat the rest of it.
my dreams have come true.PNG
11:42: Necky recommends a tea flavor - Teavana Citrus Lavender. She explains the dynamics of who likes tea, as the dogs begin to howl in the background.

12:00: Snack #15, a lollipop candy. I'm so fucking bored of this I want to claw my eyes out.
12:08: Hamber will have one side of the lollipop, Necky will have the other.
12:17: Confirmed it's just a regular lollipop. Biting commentary Hamber.

12:20: Snack #16, Hamber thinks it's pop rocks, but she could be wrong. Hamber is NEVER wrong.
12:36: She was slightly wrong. There are pill shaped candies mixed in with pop rocks.
12:47: Hamber says eating this makes her feel like she's doing drugs. I would like to do some drugs after this summary.
12:56: Necky takes the package, says that it looks like the candy is supposed to be in a drink. They decide to eat it as it is as getting up from the chair might be too hard on Hamber.
13:07: "Dats a pop rock!" I wish I could make gifs but Hamber nearly jumps as she's surprised by the pop rock popping in her mouth.
13:30: "Pops better than a pop rock" - Necky

13:38: Snack #17. The video randomly cuts to Hamber opening the package. Doesn't really say what brand it is, but Hamber says she's had this before or has seen it. I believe it's the Hi-C candy brand. That's literally it.

13:48: Snack #18. Hamber is looking a little exhausted and wants to get through the rest of the video. Just like me. The candy is a little heart-shaped candy. Hamber sucks on it like sucking a dick.
14:00: "It tastes like what you'd expect."

14:10: Snack #19. A soda shaped candy(?) I want to assume. Might be a grape flavor.
14:19: "Chewy. Stretchy. Sugary. And Sour."
14:35: Hamber doesn't like it. Necky does.
14:49: Explains why she tastes the sour and says that Necky eats lemons for a living. I don't think that's quite the case for what Necky does for a living.

14:55: Snack #20. "This one has that really popular Japanese cat on it. I'm sorry I dunno the actual name for it."
japanese cat.PNG
15:13: Necky doesn't want to try the sucking candy. Hamber asks if it's because her mouth was all over it. They laugh, pretending that they are above the haterz.

15:16: Snack #21. Blue star-shaped sucking candy. Necky gets to have this piece all to herself. What a good gorlfriend our gorl is to Necky!
15:19: "It's gonna taste exactly like a blue star"
15:32: It does in fact, taste like a blue star.

15:40: Snack #22. A Super Mario Bro! Uber japanese kawaii desu~!!!!!!
15:50 "We love us some Mario. He's part of our fam, actually."
16:04: It's Mario gum candy.
16:10: Hamber lipsmacks to mock us, mortals.

16:17 Snack #23-25. All three are candy in a bottle situation. Hamber decides to eat them all at once to wrap up this video so Necky can take her out for dinner.
16:21: They try the green flavor first. It's shaped like a Kampai beer glass. "That's kuuuuyte"
16:30: Hamber makes yet another joke about taking drugs. Now I wonder if she really is a drug user.
16:35: "Sumthin ain't ragt" Thank you Hamber for speaking in your true Southern accent. Thinks that someone will comment that she didn't eat that right.
16:40: Necky won't try it because of Hamber's reaction.
16:59: Hamber and Necky will not eat the rest of the candy since they believe it's the kind of candy you have with a drink.
17:01: Hunger strikes her, and Hamber decides to eat Snack #24, which is shaped like a pop can.
17:10: America runs on good Coca-cola.
17:33: Snack #25 is eaten. Looks like a Sprite flavor. Hamber hopes it's milk as she yearns for her mother's teats.
17:53: It's bubblegum.

18:03: Video is nearly ending. Said they both had fun and it was a good recommendation to do. For morbidly obese hamplanets.
18:22: Necky had fun even though she didn't try some of the snacks.
18:33: Video Ends. My soul leaves my body in relief that it is over.
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Forum Staff
🌸 Salon Mod 🌸
True & Honest Fan
Nov 8, 2016
I think they filmed this the same day as the first one, they just changed their clothes. You know this piggy didn't want to wait to finish eating those.

It’s funny how she stresses that her and Becky are dating... as if anyone aside from the Hamberlynn haters would watch her videos.
She has to make sure everyone watching knows she's a lesbian. She has to say it because otherwise people would just think they were looking at fat female roommates.
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This time wont you please... drive faster
True & Honest Fan
Nov 15, 2014
Nice fucking mullet Becky, holy shit shes got enough pressure in that head to fill an 18 wheelers tires.

And Amber is just a massive Junji Ito inspired balloon head at this point.
Her heard is so big it can make people angry just by looking at it.


Just a Karen with a hate hard on
Feb 12, 2019
I think they filmed this the same day as the first one, they just changed their clothes. You know this piggy didn't want to wait to finish eating those.

She has to make sure everyone watching knows she's a lesbian. She has to say it because otherwise people would just think they were looking at fat female roommates.
Or to make sure all her male admirers don't get any ideas and rush to Kentucky with a wommart ring and a haiku asking her to marry them.

Dutch Courage

Curious Onlooker
True & Honest Fan
Aug 29, 2018
Any innocent Japanese stumbling upon this is gonna have their absolute worst suspicions about Americans confirmed.

Oh, and the stuff that "tasted good" but had "bad texture" was wasabi nori (dried seaweed). Nori is good stuff, if you don't get it in weird candy form.

Mar 11, 2019
This was literally the most boring content in a while, firstly, rate me mad at the internet, but it really annoys me that they both don't fully fit in the screen, it's just like the little tweaks in production that make a difference. Hamber is too busy rubbing her sausage fingers over the packets rather than showing them properly, unwrapping them. I know her taste palette is limited to orange chicken and 500 sodium, but her explanation of the flavours is full blown autistic. The video drags on and I literally had to watch it by skipping in increments of 5.

The only funny part of this whole shit show is how Foodylynn tries to eat the snacks in a very blogger-ish, food channel type way; taking small bites and chewing them daintily. I tried to make a GIF to fully explain my point. 🌈