Trainwreck Amy L. Hayden / yellowbird73 / subjunctive collapse - A Hybrid of Phil and Cecily.


RI 360

What do you get when you cross a fat, histrionic, forty something year old, deadbeat mother with penchants for BDSM, shitty tattoos, homelessness, and grifting?



Despite evidence to the contrary, she reminds us daily that she is starving.


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Amy would probably describe herself as an unabashed feminist, empowered, following a lofty dream of travel and career. The reality of this is that she is a grown woman pushing fifty, that burned through three marriages (I believe she entered the second before the first divorce was finalized, I'll correct this if I'm wrong, oddly here's a blog post of her complaining about a man doing the very same thing to her; fucking around before the ink of the divorce papers has dried) and two children, the oldest of which wants nothing to do with her and for good reason. The sole son who will speak to her is neglected by her, living with his father in Chicago as she prostitutes herself in New York City. Often times when he's mentioned, he's used as a prop to get her free shit. Here we have Amy outing him for having a mental disability to get free tickets to Hamilton she didn't end up being given but oddly refuses to take the post down:

Being a 14-year-old boy dealing with mental health problems and struggling to love his mom again, a mom who (having read everything that exists how to deal with teenage boys) tries so hard to strike a balance between giving him space and showing affection, he doesn’t often show excitement or interest in anything. Or, at least not that he shares with me.
But lately that’s changed. He’s become obsessed with Hamilton. He used his allowance to buy the soundtrack. He’s memorized the actors and which parts they play (I send him GIFs all the time to illustrate our text convos). He’s agreed to listen to any album I want him to (even Bob Dylan!) as long as I listen to Hamilton.
IN ANY CASE he’s coming to see me from 1/1 to 1/8. And he’s asked me for only one thing for his Christmas present: Hamiltontickets. I’ve told him tickets are expensive (I sent him a screen shot) and that he should ask everyone giving him gifts to give him money to be earmarked for Hamilton tickets. I’ve asked my family (what little people that contains that would give him a present) to do the same.
I am not asking for money to get Hamilton tickets to take Basil to see the show. I know many of you want to see the show yourself and buy them if you had the money.
I am here because I know it is NYC and I know many of you have connections to the show. It only takes one person hearing this request or sharing it with a person to find a miracle. I don’t need free tickets. I just need them for less than $500 a ticket.
If you can help or have ideas (other than the lottery, which is just a lottery), please contact me. It would completely change my son’s life—in more than one way.

It's funny that her son, who's still a kid, has more financial sense than her. He wanted the album so he worked and saved his money for it, much like she should for the tickets. But woe is Amy, she's constantly crying poverty. Here's also one of the many instances of her being "wrongfully" evicted, even when she's taken in by friends she's always asked to leave soon after:

I do other work, too, that’s just an inch or two across the line I said I wouldn’t cross. But that’s dried up, as it does for everyone in August and September...

And now she’s told me that if I don’t have the money by this weekend, I need to leave.

This, with a $550 (two months’ late) phone bill due by the 1st or it’s disconnected. This, with not having paid my child support for a while because I simply don’t have it. (Yes, call me a deadbeat mother while I eat one meal a day and walk 40 blocks to save subway fare so that people can congratulate me on the weight I’ve lost. Poverty is the new diet craze!) This, with the humiliation of having had to cross that line, even though it’s only by an inch or two. This, while suffering crippling PTSD and intractable depression and panic attacks and severe anxiety.

I always said if I ended up homeless and in a shelter it would only be the middle of the story.

It looks like that’s where we are now. Or at least where we’ll be come Monday, after I spend Saturday boxing up my things and Sunday bringing them to a storage space that I’m also behind payments on, if I can convince them to let me access it.

And then Monday, unless I can find a couch to sleep on (I’m putting the word out), I’ll head to the drop-in shelter and pray that I’m not sentenced to sleep in a chair for months like a dear friend of mine experienced.

This is what two MAs and a lifetime of hard work gets you. Freelance check to freelance check, and one tragedy puts you out on the street.

And I’ll miss seeing my son on his birthday for the first time since he was born 14 years ago

What Amy seems to think walking 40 blocks means:
Cries poverty over a five dollar charge for missing her ride, despite the ride itself most certainly costing more than the subway fair she supposedly can't afford:


(the commentary by the bots on her sympathy fishing post really made me lol)

No money to take her kid to see a musical for his birthday, or to fly out to see him, or pay child support, or even her own rent, but plenty for impromptu sexcapades with younger men:

Oh, wait, she totally does have money to fly back to Chicago but only if it's to have sex with a man in hopes she'd be taken in as a sugar baby, then feeling slighted and wronged when he didn't take her up on her generous offer to have her live with him rent free for a whole month:

My idea.
I’m going to be a digital nomad soon, as a writer. For the first few months of this I’ll be staying with friends. My first stop will be in New Haven. I floated (not for long; remember: lead balloon) the notion that I could come back to Chicago, to his place, for a month, maybe six weeks, to write and just to see what might happen. That I felt at peace there, that I thought he was someone who could be good for me (and I for him). I thought I was being pretty clear that I wasn’t asking for anything much.
A month.
Just to see.
But I guess I was. He didn’t know how long he’d be in Chicago (earlier in the week he said he’d be gone by December; my timeline was the month of May, maybe through the first week of June). He had plans of his own to do things (I didn’t mention taking him anywhere). He couldn’t give me much (I wasn’t asking for much). He didn’t know that he wanted a relationship (was I asking for one?). Everyone he’d ever gotten close to had hurt him or he’d lost (uh, I’m the queen of that feeling).
So I let it go, after a bit. Why try to convince someone to let me into their life? Like I said, I want to be wanted.
:story: She really believes that wasn't asking for much. She's also a fan of frequenting hair salons, going to movies, eating out, and beach trips instead of working.

Amy's favorite kind of money is the kind she doesn't have to work for. Aside from outright begging, here's an IndieGoGo campaign for a book she claimed she'd already finished, she walked away with the money and four years later has yet to publish it and is also apparently incapable of following her own bullet proof budgeting advice:
What's the book about?
NYC: Ten Lessons in Frugality and Faith is an exploration of the ways I've figured out how to live in Manhattan on a budget of $1,000 a month. It's part memoir, part how-to guide, and part inspiration for anyone who wants to move to New York City but thinks they can't afford it. It offers practical tips (both spiritual and fiscal) for creating a rich life for yourself on a poor man's salary -- and it's 100% proven by my personal experience, which can give anyone hope that they can follow my footsteps as they pursue their own passions and goals. And even though the word "faith" is in the title, it's not a religious book but, rather, one that teaches people how to have confidence in themselves and the world around them. It's also a rejection of what many people think it means to "make it" in New York City (which usually involves a version of consumer culture on steroids and lots of conspicuous consumption).
Skimming through her insufferably self important and delusional blog, it's evident Amy has never been happy, healthy, or successful in her entire miserable life, why she believes anyone would want to follow in her footsteps is beyond the reasoning of the sane. She even got the Julia Allison blog (a lolcow of her time, and the blog served a similar purpose to that this site does now, Amy gets called out in the comments for being a deadbeat mother and is promptly white knighted by commies) to advertise the book for her.

She also likes fishing for lawsuits. Her last employer I know of was Pandora's Box, a kink club in Manhattan. Shortly after being hired she claims she was assaulted by a customer:


An excerpt from her account of things:
I’ll shorten up the rest of the story.
  • I went to the ER. I have a possible torn ligament in my elbow & I’m seeing an orthopedic surgeon in the morning.
  • I sent two emails to the owner yesterday. He didn’t respond to them until late today. He talked to the manager and my coworker and refused to talk to me today because “that’s how [he] runs [his] business.”
  • One of the emails detailed how the manager from that night accused me of (a) already being injured before I came in and (b) never telling her I was hurt and (c) making the whole thing up; and another manager said “some people just can’t handle certain sessions” and told me I can’t work on her shifts—the only ones I’m able to work this week—because I’m injured, despite medical clearance.
  • I’ve been in contact with an advocacy group in the area that’s working overnight to get me either an attorney to go with me when I meet with him tomorrow or a support person.
  • The manager in question has a long history of putting women into dangerous situations without any regard for their safety. The “solution” in the past is to tell them not to work this manager’s shift anymore.
The interesting thing is that she actually has a history of making up injuries and illnesses. Like Phil, she claims to suffer from fibromialgia which prevents her from working whenever someone is naive enough to hire her, she has cancer on and off when she's particularly desperate for sympathy (I'll fish this up later, it's getting lengthy).

There's more to cover, but for now I'll leave you with two blog posts. If you haven't noticed, a distinct pattern in her behavior is claim things perfectly within her control are outside of it, on top of never taking responsibility for her chronic fuck ups. She has a profoundly damaged relationship with not only her children but her family as a whole that she very casually accuses of "abuse, incest, rape, pedophilia, abandonment, and more." Interestingly, it appears to be only her and not any of her siblings that has a fucked up relationship with their parents. And if any of these things were going on, why didn't she fear for her siblings safety?:
For my most of my life I’ve had to play caretaker to other people. Whether it was being the older sister to my brother and protecting him from the harsh realities of living in a dysfunctional and often abusive home to playing adult as a young teenager while my mother sowed the first of her wild oats after my parents were divorced, I often was forced into roles that I neither asked for nor wanted. I left home at 16 for college not because I was ready but because I feared I’d kill myself if I were forced to stay any longer in a situation in which no one protected me from things adults were supposed to shield kids from: abuse, incest, rape, pedophilia, abandonment, and more.

I set myself free into a world I told myself I was prepared for, but deep down I knew I was lying to myself. Not much more than a year later I had married myself off to someone whom I’d support financially while he’d follow his whims (though I suppose he’d make the same claim about me). I entered the worlds of alcoholism, addiction, and sex work for the first time, all of them intertwined. I had my first abortion at the behest of my husband, who made it an ultimatum for his commitment to our relationship; as soon as it was over, he left me through the revolving door that had come to reside in our mutually abusive relationship.

Despite all the rape and incest or w/e she desperately wants her fathers attention and affection, so much so that when he did not say goodnight to her while she was visiting, she had a mental and emotional breakdown. I think the breakdown had more to do with him not giving her any money:
It wasn’t that obvious until my son left, but my dad almost completely ignored me during my entire visit. And it was patently clear on Monday, when I was ignored when he went out for food, talked over me in conversation, and went to watch the game in the basement at 7:30pm… and just stayed there. No goodnight. NoI’ll see you in the morning. Just nothing at all.
It was such a stark change toward how he’d been toward me in all of the other times I’d seen him in the years since I’ve made my amends. And I don’t know what I’d done wrong.
So I spent a couple of hours sitting on my grandma’s couch crying, looking out onto the street, feeling like I was a little girl all over again, waiting for her dad to come home from work but instead he didn’t care about her and was out at a bar drinking and didn’t know how much she really needed him.
(The irony being my dad was drinking in the basement this time around, and the house in which I used to look out of the window, waiting for hours, when I was a little girl, was literally only five blocks down the street.)
Eventually I got up and took a shower, first collapsing on the floor because my legs weren’t strong enough anymore and crying into a towel, remembering when I did that as a little girl and I would tell myself I’d be a grownup when I learned how to cry without making noise. It’s been a long damn time since I’ve cried into a towel, but there I was, doing it again, at the same time I should have been flying home.
Sometime before I actually got sleepy—around 3am, a mere 5 hours before my aunt would show up to take us to the airport—I actually checked the prices of an Uber to see if I could just take off in the middle of the night, leaving an acerbic note behind. But the cost was (predictably) more than I could afford—those fruitful days at work were followed by a day in which I got assaulted by a client and I couldn’t work at all in the four days (and 6 shifts) I was scheduled leading up to my departure)—so I cried myself to sleep.
The morning wasn’t much different. When we stopped at a convenience store for my dad to get a paper, I broke down and confided in my aunt, but I pulled it back together by the time my dad got back in the car. A drive to the airport wasn’t the time to confront him. At the airport he didn’t get out of the car to hug me goodbye, adding insult to injury.
I still don’t know what I’ve done wrong.

Happy digging.
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Ohhhh, this bitch. If she was as intelligent as she thinks she is, she would have gone underground after stealing thousands of dollars from people who pledged for her Indiegogo. Instead, she never published the book (FOUR YEARS later) and delights in making Swarm check-ins at hair salons, movies, restaurants, and other activities that should be a luxury for a thief who refuses to pay child support for the kids she ditched 800 miles away.

Amy L. Hayden is the personification of shamelessness and self-pity.

There's almost too much about her that's awful. Some of the highlights not already mentioned:

* She claims she used to date Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, and never misses a chance to talk about him. She claims she is the one who introduced him to his longtime girlfriend. It is all about Amy, always.

* She defrauded people out of Indiegogo donations, to the tune of nearly $2000, for a book she never produced. Every few months, she'd swear it was "almost there"! The updates got less frequent, and when asked point-blank where the hell the book was, she played the victim and said people should stop being so mean to her. But she lectured others on "crowdfunding nonsense" that was harming "legit" e-begging like hers.

* She claims she was discriminated against by Marlo Thomas and the Huffington Post, based on nothing more than her interpretation of a glance at her shitty tattoos. Link:

* She loves to go to housing court, despite calling herself "homeless" much of the time. Her first foray was suing her landlord to reimburse her partial rent because she said he should have made alterations to the apartment that she demanded. Always broke, no money, but invested in lawyering up for housing court--makes a lot of sense. But GOD, how does her mean roommate have the nerve to ask HER for rent money?? Doesn't she know Amy can't be expected to do grownup things like pay her way in life?

* She claims she was wooed by a famous man from a famous family with famous friends, who treated her like a princess. But for some reason, she preferred to live like a bag lady and abandon her kids in her quest to live in New York City (which is super special, only 8 million people do it every year).

* As soon as her oldest son turned 18, he cut her out of his life. Smart kid. Despite this, she kept on violating her younger son's privacy as much as possible. Not going to out him here, but she has his real name all over her blog, including posts outing him as having mental problems.

* She complains her family isn't as nice to her as they should be. Gee, maybe that has to do with you airing their dirty laundry without their consent, with stories both real and imagined?

* She thinks having green eyes is HIGHLY unusual and makes her VERY special. She claims people always mistake her for being in her 20s, even though she is obviously pushing 50. She also claims she's losing too much weight from not being able to afford food (yet able to afford hairstyling, movies, and restaurants--where I guess she just mixes ice water and ketchup and calls it gazpacho).

* I think she has only been married once or twice (her kids have different fathers, of course--though she dumped them both on one baby daddy when she skipped town). She was engaged to a drunk named Jack, who died while they were together. She has milked this for sympathy as much as she possibly can. People who know her and knew him joke that he drank himself to death to get away from her.

* She lives to bitch. She'll bitch about how nobody will hire her, then she'll bitch about her job. Then she'll claim the employer discriminated against her for being too hot, or that she was "assaulted" at work IN HER BDSM DUNGEON S&M SETTING. Guess that lawsuit didn't work out. But here's the selfie she took to commemorate it:

* After the selfie and multiple tweets and IG posts about her employer not doing anything about her "assault" at work, she was shocked to be terminated for talking shit about them on social media. And she blamed them for the fact that she wouldn't have the money to fly her youngest son to be with her for the holidays. It's THEIR fault, not hers. Oh and of course she still treated herself to a movie, despite being "broke."

* She once claimed she had been discriminated against by a startup, Luxe, because she was a woman/too sexy. More likely they didn't want her because she's about as pleasant as a blowjob from a crocodile. She even wrote a LinkedIn post about it called "Avoiding Sex Discrimination in Job Interviews with StartUps." LinkedIn yanked that post after a legal threat from the startup, but it is preserved here for your lols:

For some reason, she thought tweeting at them was a great idea.

* Her Twitter feed is a nonstop litany of customer service complaints and TMI about her reproductive organs, sex life and failure to get anyone to give a shit about her. If you have time to kill, go back through the past four years of her tweets. You've never seen so much negativity in your life.

* Despite being so smart (she says), she can't keep a job. She is deeply unpleasant, which might have something to do with it. Her work history (be prepared to scroll, like, a lot):

* Her utter failure in life doesn't stop her from telling other people to do. When she should be working or looking for a job, she's pissing her life away giving advice about money, relationships, real estate and more. For real:

* How dare you judge her for dumping her two kids on one of her two baby daddies so she could run away to NY to live her fantasy life as a broke hooker! Her happiness has to come first, kids second, and no she's not paying child support:

* Yep, she used her son's emotional pain over her abandonment as fodder for a Medium post, where she also complained about "parental alienation." No, that's not when the mom skips town to live her bag lady dreams in NY.

* But guys, it's not that she CAN'T love her kids. They just don't understand "the love I had to give was quiet and gentle, soft and honest, the kind that sleeps in bunny warrens and bluebird nests." I guess that's a real comfort when you're a little kid and mommy moves to another city without you.

* Truth is, those snot-nosed brats don't know how good they've got it. Do they have any idea what their mother went through?

* She claims having an abortion is "the hardest thing to admit," then goes on to talk about wearing an "I had an abortion" t-shirt in public and being upset that she wasn't applauded. Oh and she only had a half-dozen abortions (or maybe more) because six kinds of birth control failed at once, every time.

* Her youngest kid just finished elementary school 800 miles away from her, but that won't stop her from moving to another continent. She says she's finally gotten a job, with a startup in Shanghai. (Wonder if they know about how she handled the last startup she discussed work with?) Sorry, kid, but you really would be better off if this woman never breezed back into your life and expected you to thank her for it. She's a monster.
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RI 360

lol holy fucking shit @exceptionalgoogle, that interview with the startup company is priceless. She never narrows down the position she was applying for which by her description requires her to be a mechanic, and a race car driver. Claims she's owned a fleet worth of cars somehow. If she had the skills required to be a mechanic, she'd be making bank at a shop, but I think it's more likely he father forced her to hand him tools at some point which she later conflated for being rape.

Her eldest son's tearful understanding of reality and her self serving/victimizing interpretation of it is like a crystal ball into Tori's future. I hadn't been aware of it prior, but of everything I know, that has disturbed me the most.

RK 672

Amy Lynn Hayden

DOB: August 5th, 1973
Claims she was born in Wisconsin and raised in Texas. Whether any of this is true, I can't verify.


Old usernames: ahayde1, faithinwomen, iamdagny, PinkPalatian, Vegan04

Contently: (
Couchsurfing: (
Disqus: (
Flickr: (empty)
FourSquare: (
GoodReads: (only accessible to members)
Gravatar: (

I am a radical feminist vegan who is thankful to consumer capitalism for WonderBras, Blues Clues, vegan sweet and sour pork, and Manic Panic hair dye. Past lives have included work as an accountant, exotic dancer, newspaper reporter, freelance editor, breastfeeding advocate, graphic designer, math major, and engineering student. Working hard on being a good mama while maintaining straight As, leaving little time for wine, women and song.

Guru: (
IMDB: ( (one review)
Klout: (
Medium: (
MuckRack: (
MySpace: (
Photobucket (private):
Poshmark: (
Quora: (
StudioD: ( (
YouTube: ( (2 videos)

Court records from Cook County (Chicago, IL) (there might be more I didn't find):




Claims to have had a hysterectomy: (
Claims to have had meningioma (brain tumors).
Member of an arachnoid cyst support group: (

Mentioned in this New York Post article:

“When I interview at startups, I’m explicitly discriminated against as a woman,” Hayden asserted. (

This is what she claims her educational history is:



Used to run (

I think she's mentally handicapped:
handicap.png (

* I think she has only been married once or twice (her kids have different fathers, of course--though she dumped them both on one baby daddy when she skipped town).
Possibly more, still trying to figure that out.

Kadooz to the lurker who sent me this gold. After bitching about being broke (for a change), Amy was asked by a naïve soul if she could "do another print run" on her Indiegogo book lol. It's out, right? Mind you this response came THREE YEARS after she grifted thousands of dollars for a non-existent book:
Sadly, it hasn’t come out yet. I didn’t meet my funding goal, so I couldn’t take time off of working to write, so I’ve only been able to work on it in fits and starts. Now that I’ve been laid off I should be able to devote a lot more time to it… except I’m actually in real danger of being homeless in the near future because my stupid child support case still hasn’t been straightened out and my ex is suing me for more money, so that would put a real crimp in any ability to work on anything. :/ Trying to stay positive but I can’t shake this feeling that the universe really has a hard-on for fucking with my life.
Yeah, it's not you, it's the universe.

RI 360


@Ride you are a beast, I'm going to have fun picking these links apart later. This is the first thing I've looked at so far and it seems completely fabricated and like something she would have written fifty blog posts about, still bring up today, and would have taken dozens of hospital selfies of.

@exceptionalgoogle what's more amazing than her expecting sympathy for being derelict in her child support payments is that other women actually are.

@Maiden-TieJuan I wonder if the trip to China is her human trafficking herself for sex work, or just a scam to hit up friends for loans to move that she never pays back as she writes the inevitable post about the job falling through.


kiwi faggot enabler
I've uploaded a bunch of screenshots of her GoodReads account (because I am a member). I only did the first page of her "read" page as there's 478 books altogether. Nevertheless these are the most recent and quite amusing in context. I also saved her "currently reading" page.




  • Screenshot_20170628-125643.png
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Oh yeah, I forgot I am friends with this mess on Goodreads. Looking back through my email notifications of what she's reading is hilarious.

So funny that she is homeless, reports nobody will hire her, is always taking landlords to court, won't pay child support, and is pissing away hours reading self-help nonsense and Cosmo-level relationship guides. Also, all the start-up books are lulzy af. She has no chance in a start-up, where "that's not in my job description" is not something you can say to get out of getting your hands dirty. And not too long ago, despite her homelessness, poverty, and unwillingness to support the children she abandoned, she was telling the world she was too good to take a job working for Tim Ferris.


"Might get desperate"? How are you not already desperate when you claim you have 17 cents in your bank account, are homeless, can't afford to eat, can't afford a $2.75 subway ticket, are "unable" to pay child support, and are frequently suicidal from the despair of it all? How bad does it have to get before you try to better yourself?

I can't wait to see how this dingbat does in China, one of the most virulently racist and sexist places on earth, where she won't speak the language and no1curr about her snowflake act. Good luck trying to get the Chinese to stop using the words that make you uncomfortable, dumbass.

RI 360

I've combed back in her IG to around the time of her emergency hospitalization after the hysterectomy.
Wait, I just realized her post is dated in 2013, so this was entirely fabricated. Pics from her second "hysterectomy" appear in 2015 in her feed.

Just prior to the procedure she humble brags about being an out of shape middle aged fat ass that's injured herself doing something anyone else can do with several minutes of instruction and minimum upper body strength. I hate the smug, pleased with herself expression:


Here's her supposedly in the hospital for the procedure. Why the fuck does the hospital gown have a paw on it? Did she get spayed by a vet?

I laughed at this, she was supposedly employed by a college:

and in a blink of an eye she's fired and once again looking for a job. Paid to be beautiful? Looks like the guy who dumped her was right on the money.

"Paid to be beautiful"??? "Yet another" such job??? TIL rimming strangers and getting pissed on = "being beautiful."

Her delusion is so thick, it's unbelievable. My favorite is her filtering the shit out of her pictures and pretending they are untouched and show her "fountain of youth" discovery. I mean, we know she's a liar, but this is straight up mental.

Bair Paws are special warming surgical gowns. Though I am sure the kids she ditched wish she had been spayed. I mean, she abandoned them and won't pay child support, but at least SHE's happy. "What could be more perfect?" she wonders. I dunno, maybe not being a shitty mom who ditched her kids and has contributed nothing but junk DNA to their lives?


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