Andrew Schlafly's Conservapedia - Right-wing parody of RationalWiki

StraightShooter

Short, sweet, and to the point
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I always heard that Andy had some beef with relativity, because he somehow associated the scientific theory of relativity with 'moral relativism' or something, but I never understood what his alternative scientific proposal is.

In fact, the actual theory of relativity more or less confirms objective reality anyway; since the theory essentially states that the actual laws of physics are always the same if measured regardless of the perspective; e.x. a car might "look" like it's traveling faster to someone outside it than someone in it, but if measured the objective speed it's traveling will always be the same.
 

Feline Darkmage

Queen Trap Tank, the Vice Catto
Staff Member
Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
http://www.conservapedia.com/Liberal_denial
http://archive.li/ybAZy (archive of five years ago)
http://archive.li/luKFx (archive i just made today)

I know I say this a lot in this thread, but this might be one of the best things I've read.
Here are some choice things that "liberals" (aka Strawmen) deny:
state run health care has lead to Islamic terrorism in Britain and would do so in the US
Liberals deny that the much-publicized "proof" of the general theory of relativity in 1919 was, in fact, scientific misconduct by Arthur Eddington who "cherry-picked"[2] his data to reach his desired result, which would have have him expelled from any Ph. D. program worth its salt today
Multiple murders committed by an atheist is neither a hate crime nor terrorism, but a rarely occurring murder committed by a Christian must be both.

Liberals deny whenever there is a cold winter, as well as the fact that the world has not significantly warmed for many years.

Liberals deny that violent video games incite and train young mass murderers to go on unspeakable killing rampages.
Liberals deny that Abraham Lincoln developed a strong faith in the Lord in the last few years of life, as proven by his declaration of Thanksgiving Day as an official holiday, his insertion of "under God" into the Gettysburg Address, and in his personal comments
Liberals deny that a shutdown of the federal government is a good thing
Liberals deny they are liberal and that most of the media are liberal.
(emphasis mine)
 

Stock Photo James

kiwifarms.net
http://www.conservapedia.com/Liberal_denial
http://archive.li/ybAZy (archive of five years ago)
http://archive.li/luKFx (archive i just made today)

I know I say this a lot in this thread, but this might be one of the best things I've read.
Here are some choice things that "liberals" (aka Strawmen) deny:











(emphasis mine)
The old version has some gems too, like claiming science can make coal "clean" or that homeschooled kids are smarter than public school taught ones, without any citations.
 

Feline Darkmage

Queen Trap Tank, the Vice Catto
Staff Member
Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Wow, Conservapedia is still around?
Of course! How else will Andy fight the globalist menace?
http://www.conservapedia.com/Globalism
http://archive.li/Eu9Ut

Or bitch about Sportsball stars he hates?
http://www.conservapedia.com/Overrated_Sports_Stars
http://archive.li/i2txT

edit: somethings fucky with this website.
http://ntbc.referata.com/wiki/Conservapedia
http://archive.li/nDAmS (error)

?
Someone running scripts to block archiving? Suspicious.

There's actually someone out there more psychotically Conservative than Andy. He thinks Andy is a liberal.

Text
"Conserva"pedia is a liberal wiki founded by RINO and Papist Andrew "Andy" Schlafly. Schlafly founded the wiki as a response to what he saw as liberal bias in Wikipedia, but has had no problem with liberal biases of his own.

"Conserva"pedia is known for removing true conservatives from their site if they espouse views that are consistent with the wishy-washy RINO views of Schlafly. The site promotes neocon nonsense, and they believe in further expanding the bloated military budget. They, therefore promote the liberal homosexual agenda through their ringing endorsements for adulterer Donald Trump despite Trump having paid off a porn star regarding an affair they had.

"Conserva"pedia also promotes false religions, such as the Roman Catholic "Church", Protestantism, Eastern Orthodoxy, and Judaism. They are also soft on Islam and are apologists for the liberal former "president" George W. Bush and soft on Barry Soetoro of Kenya.

While claiming to believe Jesus Christ is Lord, they believe in the fake Jesus the papists and "papist-lite" Protestants believe, i.e. the long haired hippie depiction of Jesus.
 
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Mrs Paul

Yinzer Kiwi
kiwifarms.net
It looks like the dude is one of those uber fundies who don't believe that Catholics are Christians. That obviously has something to do with it.

Of course! How else will Andy fight the globalist menace?
http://www.conservapedia.com/Globalism
http://archive.li/Eu9Ut

Or bitch about Sportsball stars he hates?
http://www.conservapedia.com/Overrated_Sports_Stars
http://archive.li/i2txT

He doesn't like Peyton Manning because he took the spotlight away from "conservative" Tim Tebow? Uh, maybe it's because Tebow was a complete draft bust, but conservatives everywhere acted like he was the Second Coming. (This is one of the reasons why sports and politics shouldn't mix)
 

Raging Capybara

kiwifarms.net
They consider Black Panther one of the greatest movies of all time:

http://www.conservapedia.com/Essay:Greatest_Conservative_Movies


"Movie tells of a young African king fighting against the force of a black supremacist, who seeks to take the king's throne. In the name of morality, this king or "The Black Panther," seeks to destroy the villain and his plans to overthrow the other races and governments of the world. The Black Panther recognizes both the importance of helping those in need, as well as not going beyond one's governmental authority. Despite the movie including many pagan religious references, it appeals in some ways to a general sense of Christian morality and governmental justice."


Explain that, /pol/
 

nets_awesome

I want you to lose turdy pound in one munt.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Resurrecting this thread due to incoming drama: Black holes are fake news. Apparently dear leader Assfly thinks the black hole photo is fake because they added false color (most astronomical photos do this). Suprisingly, one of the admins disagrees and isn’t outright banned.

Also some more spergery on the talk page from Ken Demyer claiming he’s multiple people to hide the fact he’s been regurgitating the same nonsense for 12 years straight.

 
In fact, the actual theory of relativity more or less confirms objective reality anyway; since the theory essentially states that the actual laws of physics are always the same if measured regardless of the perspective; e.x. a car might "look" like it's traveling faster to someone outside it than someone in it, but if measured the objective speed it's traveling will always be the same.
What?‽ That's like the opposite of what relativity is. Relativity says "There is no objective reality, everything is from some perspective". You literally cannot measure "Objective speed", speed is relative to some other thing. But it does say the laws of physics are true from any possible perspective, even though that leads to some contradictory weirdness in which both people contradicting one another could be said to be right.

Because the Klan were Democrats and Hitler was a National SOCIALIST! Checkmate atheists!

^This is what Andrew actually believes.
Uh... he's not wrong though. On this particular issue.

Conservapedia is so pathetic overall though. It's just Schlafly's personal crusade against everything he disagrees with, and science and facts can fuck right off if they get in the way of a good story.

The best thing to come out of that place was his attempt at a rewriting of the bible to be more supportive of conservative politics. Although there were a couple interesting things (Like in the original hebrew, the commandment "Thou shalt not kill" was really "Thou shalt not murder"), he took it way, way too far, and the actual honest biblical scholars got fed up with his obvious bias pretty quick.

I mean, they're not as harmful as ratwiki because it's blatantly obvious from a quick glance there's nothing rational about conservapedia. Ratwiki does a better job hiding the fact that they're essentially the same thing from the other side.

EDIT: The subtitle for this thread is incorrect. Despite really appearing to be satire, conservapedia is intended to be taken seriously.

It's ratwiki that was created in response to conservapedia. Again, despite really appearing to be satire, ratwiki is intended to be taken seriously.
 
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Feline Darkmage

Queen Trap Tank, the Vice Catto
Staff Member
Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Uh... he's not wrong though. On this particular issue.
He actually is wrong though because the Democrats back then aren't the same as the ones that exist now, and things aren't actually things because "its in the name". Otherwise the royals in the United KINGDOM would actually have power (as opposed to the Parliament) and the DPRK would be a republic, not a monarchy in all but name. The Nazis were literally the opposite of socialism, and despised Marxism.

EDIT: The subtitle for this thread is incorrect. Despite really appearing to be satire, conservapedia is intended to be taken seriously.

It's ratwiki that was created in response to conservapedia. Again, despite really appearing to be satire, ratwiki is intended to be taken seriously.
That's the joke.
 
He actually is wrong though because the Democrats back then aren't the same as the ones that exist now, and things aren't actually things because "its in the name". Otherwise the royals in the United KINGDOM would actually have power (as opposed to the Parliament) and the DPRK would be a republic, not a monarchy in all but name. The Nazis were literally the opposite of socialism, and despised Marxism.
No, obviously the democrats that are dead now aren't the not dead ones, that's true. But from what you're saying, we shouldn't be upset about Nazis now, because the bad Nazis were the ones back then in germany and they just share a name, right?
Yeah, obviously it's not much of a "gotcha" against current democrats, but it is technically true.


That's the joke.
--------------->The Joke

Me.
 

Terrorist

Osama bin Ladkin
kiwifarms.net
Andy is too stupid for even cuckservative welfare institutions like the national review or reason.com, which if you don't know, makes him really fucking stupid. Those rags will take any dipshit failure as long as they're some dead reaganite's kid, but mommy's name just wasn't enough to tolerate him.
 
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nets_awesome

I want you to lose turdy pound in one munt.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Andy is too stupid for even cuckservative welfare institutions like the national review or reason.com, which if you don't know, makes him really fucking stupid. Those rags will take any dipshit failure as long as they're some dead reaganite's kid, but mommy's name just wasn't enough to tolerate him.
He actually got kicked off the Eagle Forum, the board his mommy founded.
 

Mrs Paul

Yinzer Kiwi
kiwifarms.net
OH. MY. GOD.
Look at the list of "Greatest Conservative Songs" Does this guy not understand the concept of "irony"? Seriously, I'm having trouble not spraying my monitor, it's so hilarious.
Same with Greatest Conservative Movies. Oh sweet Jesus. What the hell? I honestly wonder if he has some kind of disorder that makes him unable to appreciate humor or satire? I mean, the point of some of this shit seems to go sailing right over his head.

In the words of Superintendent Chalmers, the rod up this man's butt has a rod up its butt.
 
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