• "Believe me, if that snake didn't want to be fucked, you'd know it"

Lolcow Angela Cummings / Preacher WomanTHANK YOU JESUS. J-E-S-U-S.

Discussion in 'Lolcows' started by neger psykolog, Aug 11, 2017.

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  1. upload_2017-8-11_19-10-4.png
    "Do you know where you will spend eternity? The gospel of Mark 16:16 addresses this subject with the words of Jesus. Saved or Damned. This is a serious issue. God does not want anyone to perish, but all to come to repentance. My #1 goal as an Evangelist to awaken your conscience with the help of the Holy Spirit. I want you to ponder eternity. Are you ready to die and face your creator God at the judgment seat? Jesus Christ is the only ONE that can forgive your sins and reconcile you back to God. Jesus shed His blood on the cross, was buried, God raised Him from the dead, according to the scriptures and then was seen by over 500 people. What must I do to be saved? Repent and Believe the Gospel. This is why I travel the world sharing this message. My whole purpose for even being alive is to glorify Jesus. I hope you will surrender all to Jesus. The Lamb of God is Worthy!"

    Website: http://preacherwoman.webs.com/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Highways-and-Hedges-Ministries-inc-515871618474565

    Angela Cummings is a batshit crazy turbo-Christian who believes the best way to spread the word of the lord is to visit places and shout at the top of her lungs about the Bible. People become quite confrontational with her and this often results in the police and authorities being summoned (although Angela is of course only held to the higher power of our lord and savior, JESUS CHRIST... J-E-S-U-S)

    Video of an "Angry Vice Principal" tell her to fuck off and leave his students alone:


    Video of Angela getting told off by the Amsterdam police for trying to preach in the middle of the red light district (bonus includes very unimpressed looking hooker):


    Video of Angela getting banned for being antisocial:


    Video of Angela trying to spread the word about "Chrislam":


    Video of Angela trying to spread the word of the lord, Jesus Christ, by blowing out candles in a shrine in Japan ("some kind of foreign god temple"):


    Video of Angela in Japan talking smack regarding their "cartoon girlfriends" (talking smack on the animes)


    A lot of Angela's efforts include university campuses within the home of Jesus, the USA. People's reactions include making out with their girlfriends within feet of Angela as well as this spectacular case of a young lady stripping off in front of Angela (Angela does not agree with nudity and hence cuts the video before you get to see the goods):


    And people making out right next to her:


    Fantastic video footage of Angela trying to spread the word of J-E-S-U-S at Hyde Park, London during 420 day. Someone grabs her HOLY BIBLE and THROWS IT ACROSS HYDE PARK:


    Like most of the special snowflakes in the world, criticism is the greatest obscenity that Angela encounters in her life. Here's a video explaining why Angela had to turn off comments on her YouTube channel:


    Whilst I would love to include more kahntent from our savior Angela Cummings, the lord JESUS CHRIST only gave us so many hours during the day (and also only allowed for 10 media clips per post on the farms) so I will leave it up to the good flock of the farms to spread THE HOLY WORD of Angela's work on our terrible god-forsaken lives.

    Bonus kahntent (from her website):
    upload_2017-8-11_19-25-52.png

    oh yeah I couldn't include it in the first post, but Angela also provides expert advice on how to live in your fucking car:
    "God is amazing and His plan was perfect. Glory to God! Jesus was homeless too. Now, He is on Throne in heaven praying for us all."


    Angela used to have a hatemail section on her website as recently as a few months ago but seems to have deleted it for some reason:
    http://preacherwoman.webs.com/hatemail.htm

    Fortunately the internet archive had a copy of it, so im putting it here in case it disappears

    Hate:

    1. Boo Yahh writes on Nov. 18, 2013 @ 12:04 p.m and yes, I showed the police at campus. "you are nothing more than a thriving piece of trash. You deserve to burn in eternal hell. I hope that someone finds a way to take you out of this world soon. Shame on you. You deserve eternal damnation. Fu@# you you stupid fuc@#!!!!"


    2. Zetsume1991 "Lady seriously. Get off your high horse and leave those students alone. They have enough t o worry about without you adding to it. You want to preach the gospel? It's called a Blog. Get one and FU@# off"

    3. Fock Jewgle "you ought to be shot for this bull sh@#. You have no right, NOR obligation to demean people for not blindly following the same bull sh@# as you do."

    4. Heckler videoing Bike guy getting arrested while I preached "There is a special place in the non existent HELL for you Bit@#!"

    5. Jim Hooper writes on youtube "It is interesting that Angela thinks the crowds are there to hear her scripture, but actually they are there to laugh and MOCk her."


    6. LonelyStorm89 "Angela Cummings, you are a horrible person and I will celebrate the day this special brand of mammals you belong to will no longer exist in human society."


    She also had a change.org petition made about her, or she made one at one point:
    http://preacherwoman.webs.com:80/petitionchangeorg.htm

    upload_2017-8-11_20-2-13.png

    https://www.change.org/p/dr-joe-dip...-abusive-protestors-to-scream-on-utc-s-campus
    https://www.change.org/p/dr-joe-dip...rotestors-to-scream-on-utc-s-campus/u/5261645

    The petition mentions a video of hers in which a student confronts her and gets pepper sprayed and charged with a bunch of shit:


    The person who got arrested made a video immediately after his arrest explaining his side of the story (from the back of a cop car, no less):


    "For reasons that are beyond the reaches of my imagination, the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga has allowed a religious extremist, a fire and brimstone “preacher”, to stand in the middle of campus and scream at students. She has not come with a message of love or peace, as Jesus taught. She insists on screaming at the top of her lungs that we are all going to hell, Westboro Baptist style. She has parked herself in one of the busiest areas of campus, directly in front of the library, Brock Hall, and Grote Hall. It’s been said that some professors have had to cancel classes because her screams can be heard through the windows. A student was arrested today for riding his bike too close to her, a path he has probably ridden a thousand times on his way to the library."

    "By allowing this woman to scream in the middle of our campus, UTC is not properly delivering the service we have paid for. We do not pay to have a large section of our campus cut off from us. We do not pay to have some stranger scream at us and tell us that we're going to hell. Our campus is no place for her hatred. Our money was not spent to give her a place to yell and disrupt our classes, to shatter the quiet of our library. We have paid you, and now we demand a quiet place to learn. Do not allow people to come onto our campus and scream at us."

    She made the news with all this shit too:
     
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    #1 neger psykolog, Aug 11, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 11, 2017
    neger psykolog

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    Cthulhu

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  2. In addition, Cummings has a son, Nicholas. Apparently she had planned on aborting him, but couldn't spare the money for it. He spent part of his childhood with his grandmother because Cummings was in rehab for a crack/cocaine addiction.

    Nowadays, he often speaks out against her religious rants on YouTube and Google+. He also accused her of neglecting him as a child, which she denies.

    "Cummings and Nicholas, now 22, do not talk.

    Occasionally, self-recorded video of Cummings' sermons will go viral on YouTube, and her son will create a Google Plus account to speak against her testimony. After her UTC incidents, he stepped in to comment directly on her video account to rebuke her sermons and criticize her parenting. Nicholas claimed he often went hungry in her care -- a statement Cummings adamantly denies -- then deleted his remarks after Cummings replied directly.

    Aside from the postcards Cummings sends Nicholas -- never returned -- that's their only form of contact today."

    http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2013/nov/24/her-cross-to-bear/124913/
     
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    #3 RobotGentleman, Aug 11, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2017
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  3. Jesus died for all of our sins. That includes having waifus.
     
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  4. More like REEEvanglist.
     
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    dunbrine47

    dunbrine47 Has that NewNewbee smell.

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  5. her last name is 'cumming's tee hee hee
    I'm glad nobody else thought of this joke and then didn't share it because it was too dumb to post
     
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    Vrakks

    Vrakks Dig the prowess, the capacity for violence!

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  6. I think she's confusing Japanese people for Wapanese Weeaboos.
     
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    Feline Darkmage

    Feline Darkmage Kiwi's Lil Monster
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

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  7. Great find!

    Kudos.
     
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  8. I wonder if she is like this on the plane rides to the countries she's visited?
    Considering that I have not heard of any airplane hijinks involving her, she probably conserves her strength on flights.
     
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    dunbrine47

    dunbrine47 Has that NewNewbee smell.

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  9. Would love to see someone stand up next to her and do this:
     
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    Lunete

    Lunete Internet vagabond.

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  10. Nah, that shit is pretty pervasive in Japan too.
     
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    Chuggernaut

    Chuggernaut Eye of the Shiticane

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  11. Angela also has a wordpress which has its own unique content: happyheavenlymessenger.wordpress.com
    And a Google+ which is its own special goldmine:
    upload_2017-8-12_16-10-21.png
    https://plus.google.com/108028933837489960653



    oh yeah, Angela Cummings has a horn. It's a "shofar" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shofar#Religion). She picked it up in Israel or some shit, and its like some Jewish thing or something (i'm not gonna spend my time reading about religion when i could be spending that same time reading about angela, she is way more interesting than jesus or any of that shit)

    upload_2017-8-12_16-20-24.png

    I prefer the term "Autism Horn" and I think we can all agree that that is the proper name of this device.

    Videos of Angela Cummings using her "Autism Horn"

    Angela Cummings entering mass at a church in Lisbon, Portugal and blowing her "Autism Horn" and pissing off the entire church, then walking outside and ranting about how a bunch of jews were killed in the same area like 10,000 years ago or some boring shit. This was filmed like 2 days ago.


    Angela Cummings blowing the "Autism Horn" while ranting about vatican orgies at a catholic church (she doesn't like catholics)


    Angela Cummings blowing the "Autism Horn" at a bunch of Japanese people who are trying to enjoy a quiet evening at a restaurant.


    Angela disrupting a street performers crowd to blow the holy "Autism Horn" in South Korea.


    More kahntent:
    Angela visiting the headquarters of Honda and trying to present them a printed booklet explaining how much she loves Honda, and "I almost named my book Motel Honda, but because I kept going to so many countries, it kinda changed the flavor of the book. Yeah, I'm a Christian, and I travel the world to tell people about Jesus. I think Hondas are awesome, they're the greatest cars, I could preach Hondas all day, all over the world, BUT THEY WON'T GET YOU TO HEAVEN, the only way to heaven, is through Jesus Christ, so Jesus is greater than Hondas"

    upload_2017-8-12_16-7-15.png
    The designer of the Honda Fit 2008, at Honda HQ in Japan being forced to pose with Angela's crazy ass book.



    Angela telling some muslims in the USA that their god is a "moon god"


    Angela holding up a handwritten sign saying "Pokemon is of the Devil" and trying to preach the gospel of Jesus and anti-pokemon in Japan. She also claims in the same video that "Winnie the Pooh is not of the devil"


    Angela making a minions-worthy joke about Valentine's Day


    Angela making a celebratory video that she has been "22 years Crack Cocaine Free"; I'm no scientist but I'd have to guess there is some residual crack cocaine still pumping through her veins.


    That's all for this update, I'm planning to a post delving into her criminal history soon (she has been arrested/held on house arrest/charged with hate speech and a bunch of other exciting shit that is way more interesting than jesus)
     

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    neger psykolog

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  12. Since she is a Honda fangirl I have to make this Bible Pun.
    [​IMG]
     
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    dunbrine47

    dunbrine47 Has that NewNewbee smell.

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  13. I knew sooner or later this nut would make it on here.

    She gives me a Shirley Phelps Roper vibe (WBC)
     
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    #14 Yellow Shirt Guy, Aug 12, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017
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  14. Is she single? I'm asking on behalf of John Stephen Bulla of Pensecola, Florida.

    That is of course she fits John's, um, "requirements".
     
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    Aristophanes

    Aristophanes Writing plays for Lolcows since 446 BC

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  15. Nah she's married to the lord jesus christ.
    There's a video where she is shouting at some guy on the street about how she is pure and won't have sex ever or until after marriage--this despite the fact she has already had an entire baby pop out of her vagina.
     
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    neger psykolog

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  16. Ah man, she was in Atlanta like a month ago, I could have weened her IRL....
     
    TheUltimatePickle

    TheUltimatePickle Basically a Marine

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  17. She seems like she's a religious addict. She simply substituted one addiction for another. While you usually can't lethally overdose on Jesus, it can make you impossible to live with.
     
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    DrJonesHat

    DrJonesHat Dollar Store Hat
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  18. She's like a dumber and crazier version of the legendary "Brother Jed" Smock, who's been trolling college campuses across America for over 40 years with a similar confrontative-evangelism shtick.
     
    PurpleSquirrel

    PurpleSquirrel "He who dies with the most stories, wins."

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  19. At last, a crazy person says something I can agree with.

    Old ass Honda's are the battered housewives of the car world. They'll take shitloads of abuse and just keep on working.
     
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