Gross Anna Johnson / The Fit Vegan Ginger / Creation Nutrition / Anna's Organics Lynchburg - Jesus Freak, orthorexic, creator of vegan food monstrosities.

multiverse

out of office 2/24 -
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This year, she didn't even bother to pretend she was going to eat normal foods at a cookout. She just stayed home nursing her "sick tum" with a small cup of "creamy pea soup" - whatever that might be - warmly bundled up in a fleece blanket against the debilitating heat outdoors:
sicktum.png
That is a teacup. Probably filled with pea protein mixed with water, as mentioned before. But that's a teacup of liquid she's calling "dinner".

She's dying to lose the weight she put on immediately before and in the hospital.
 

swiggety_swoogitty

kiwifarms.net
To be honest though, would you want Anna at a family event? Complaining about her multitude of illnesses while you're trying to watch fireworks, explaining in exquisite detail how her shitbag works and how she could never eat anything from a barbeque while everyone's eating, dragging her mother off to the bathroom to wipe her stomach asshole because oh no another leak...
I picture Anna as someone who sits quietly in real life and doesn’t ask how anyone else is doing but waits for other people to ask all about her, and then gives vague answers meant to elicit further questioning and sympathy (“would you like a burger, Anna?” “Oh, no, I....*dramatic pause* can’t.” “Oh are you vegetarian? We have veggie burgers.” “No, thank you. I can’t. *fake smile face*) and then when people are done attempting to humor her she whispers to mom or dad that she NEEDS to go and makes a sudden early exit.

Her parents are probably tired of apologizing for her behavior to relatives and having their time at parties cut short to shuttle their adult baby home.
 

JuniperFalls

kiwifarms.net
It's a damned shame nobody in this woman's life cares enough to try to HELP her, rather than enable her to indulge in her eating disorders. If nothing else, you'd think her religious weirdness could be used as a wedge: "Yes, Anna, God is wonderful. God is love. God filled the world with healthy and delicious things for humans to eat -- I wonder if he feels hurt, to see you ignoring all these wonderful foods he hath made, in lieu of artificial overpriced 'Walden Farms' no-nutrition products?"
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
To be honest though, would you want Anna at a family event? Complaining about her multitude of illnesses while you're trying to watch fireworks, explaining in exquisite detail how her shitbag works and how she could never eat anything from a barbeque while everyone's eating, dragging her mother off to the bathroom to wipe her stomach asshole because oh no another leak...
I think Anna is more than a little disappointed that she can’t whip out her bag o’ shit at gatherings for sympathy. Even she understands at this point that a shitbag is the bad kind of munchie equipment. It doesn’t elicit sympathy so much, but it definitely elicits revulsion. She probably just eludes to it and makes dramatic exits to tend to it, making sure everyone knows she’s suffering.
It's a damned shame nobody in this woman's life cares enough to try to HELP her, rather than enable her to indulge in her eating disorders. If nothing else, you'd think her religious weirdness could be used as a wedge: "Yes, Anna, God is wonderful. God is love. God filled the world with healthy and delicious things for humans to eat -- I wonder if he feels hurt, to see you ignoring all these wonderful foods he hath made, in lieu of artificial overpriced 'Walden Farms' no-nutrition products?"
Her parents have absolutely tried such tactics.

Anna just managed to weaponized Jesus/religion and use it to further her ED behaviors. She uses the ultra-pious, bible reading Christian girl schtick as cover for her ED and other BS.

Her parents are both preachers and have sent her to Christian therapists, they’ve tried to use religion to cure her ED from the get go and it has always been an abject failure. ED are notoriously hard to treat, I think trying to use religion as part of “healing” her made matters worse. She just managed to use the religion angle better than they did.

Anna’s endless, terrible IG sermons and photos of all underlining all her bible, bible guides and devotional readings show someone who needs less religion in her life, not more. She’s managed to make Jesus and God toxic co-conspirators for her ED.
 

AbraCadaver

Alpha Winner Deluxe
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I picture Anna as someone who sits quietly in real life and doesn’t ask how anyone else is doing but waits for other people to ask all about her, and then gives vague answers meant to elicit further questioning and sympathy (“would you like a burger, Anna?” “Oh, no, I....*dramatic pause* can’t.” “Oh are you vegetarian? We have veggie burgers.” “No, thank you. I can’t. *fake smile face*) and then when people are done attempting to humor her she whispers to mom or dad that she NEEDS to go and makes a sudden early exit.

Her parents are probably tired of apologizing for her behavior to relatives and having their time at parties cut short to shuttle their adult baby home.
RELATIVE: “Would you like some salad, Anna?”

ANNA: “Oh no thank you, I...I can’t. Not after.....well, YOU know...”

RELATIVE: “I....what? I don’t know what you mean.”

ANNA: *eyes light up with glee, dramatic sobby music ramps up in the background, spotlight snaps on overhead as the rest of the gathering falls in shadow and Anna assumes the position of Pious Little Suffering Girl at center stage to deliver her monologue*....

Yeah, I’d fuckin leave her at home to drink leftover dishwater from a baby teacup too.

It is fun to fuck with people like her though.

RELATIVE: “Would you like a sausage, Anna?”

ANNA: “Oh no, I.....can’t. Sigh...”

RELATIVE: “Not a problem. Does anyone else want a sausage?”

ANNA: “I mean I would love one because you worked so hard on them, but I can’t. Because of the surgery.”

RELATIVE: “David, can you get some more napkins? I think these are just about done, so bring a plate too.

ANNA: “I ONLY WISH I COULD BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I HAVE AN OSTOMY BAG, BUT YOU KNOW IT’S REALLY A BLESSING FROM GOD-

RELATIVE: “Yes dear. Linda can you bring out the salad when you come back?”

ANNA: “MUMMY MY GOD-GIVEN JESUS HOLE IS LEAKING AGAIN, WE HAVE TO LEAVE.”


She’s the kind of person who doesn’t listen to anyone else’s conversations, just listens for the pauses so she can jump in and turn the topic back to the only one that matters, Herself and God and how she learns 38272638 deep religious messages from God every single day, just by checking the post or wrapping up a garden hose or some other inane idiocy. God’s in everything, you know! But only Anna is allowed to tell you how and where.
 
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Fliddaroonie

kiwifarms.net
Her lack of eyebrows is creepy, but her wearing cheap rings on every finger and her thumb is annoying af. I know if I had a constantly leaking asshole on my stomach to tend to I’d want rings on every finger to help trap all the liquid fecal matter under my rings. Given that she always is wearing these rings I have grave doubts she takes them off regularly or bothers to clean them when she does.

No surprise Anna once again plays sick to ruin her parent’s holiday and make her self-imposed and fake illnesses the center of attention. She only takes family trips if they are about her - like the two ridiculous trips to get her absurd online degree and the bizarre faith healing conference with Earth Daddy. If she isn’t the sole focus of the event, she boycotts it just to be a selfish little shit.
Aye, it's a common stipulation that if you do any sort of healthcare/clinical work, rings are a nope. Usually, the only exception allowed is a plain, non-jewelled wedding band. There's even companies which make silicone bands for people who're especially averse to wearing metal bands in clinical/healthcare settings and jobs
 

multiverse

out of office 2/24 -
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A gray faced Anna announces the upcoming release of her FOURTH book (somehow she forgot she wrote a second "cookbook" of low calorie liquids), an autobiography. Because a 22 year old who hasnt accomplished anything with her time on earth definitely needs to share her life story.

Anna, Malala Yousafzai and maybe some female Olympians can write any kind of inspirational tome upon graduating college. If they were inclined to brag about top secret work, the Bletchly Park young women could have written books on wartime codebreaking at your age. YOU have not done anything besides psychologically torture your mom for not being submissive enough to Earth Daddy and thus scaring him away, and get a second asshole installed because you've had an eating disorder since age 12. That's it. That's not inspirational.
Screenshot_20190706-113504_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20190706-113517_Chrome.jpg
 

ProblemDog

All I wanted was a Pepsi.
kiwifarms.net
A gray faced Anna announces the upcoming release of her FOURTH book (somehow she forgot she wrote a second "cookbook" of low calorie liquids), an autobiography. Because a 22 year old who hasnt accomplished anything with her time on earth definitely needs to share her life story.

Anna, Malala Yousafzai and maybe some female Olympians can write any kind of inspirational tome upon graduating college. If they were inclined to brag about top secret work, the Bletchly Park young women could have written books on wartime codebreaking at your age. YOU have not done anything besides psychologically torture your mom for not being submissive enough to Earth Daddy and thus scaring him away, and get a second asshole installed because you've had an eating disorder since age 12. That's it. That's not inspirational.
View attachment 829977View attachment 829979
The book is going to be incredible, in more than one sense of the word. And if she makes at least $1.09 off of it, she’ll be able to buy a drugstore eyebrow pencil.
 

multiverse

out of office 2/24 -
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'd actually be sort of interested in her book, it could fill in a few of the gaps we have about her life, but you just know the prose is going to be unbearable and unreadable.
Dont believe a word of it. She's changed her extensive biography (10 fucking pages long when she first started the Anna's Organics Lynchburg website!), we've gone over the discrepancies in the past.

I'll buy the book and share it here for posterity and lulz, but take whatever "facts" she offers with a grain of salt. She once claimed she was told she'd go blind by the age of 16 from migraines but cured herself with veganism, her super legit research skills, and Daddy God.
 

Popoto

Carbly Hydrated
kiwifarms.net
I'd actually be sort of interested in her book, it could fill in a few of the gaps we have about her life, but you just know the prose is going to be unbearable and unreadable.
Anna claims to have been a baby who was sick with colic and croup. First of all, an infant would not know if they were a sickly baby since people do not retain memories prior to 3. Then there is the school of thought that colic is a made up disease.

Maybe Anna will do us one better and tell us all about how prolife Earth Mom was when widdle sickly Anna is in the womb. They said she'd be born with downs/rare chromosomal spud condition, but a miracle from Daddy God meant she was born perfectly healthy! For like 3 seconds before baby ginge nearly died of colic!

I'll buy the book and share it here for posterity and lulz, but take whatever "facts" she offers with a grain of salt. She once claimed she was told she'd go blind by the age of 16 from migraines but cured herself with veganism, her super legit research skills, and Daddy God.
You are doing Daddy God's work, you truly are.

We are the only ones giving Anna her dose of attention. Nobody else on earth will find this drivel worth buying and dissecting and discussing its contents.
 

MirnaMinkoff

Mama, nobody sends you a turd and expects to live.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Dont believe a word of it. She's changed her extensive biography (10 fucking pages long when she first started the Anna's Organics Lynchburg website!), we've gone over the discrepancies in the past.

I'll buy the book and share it here for posterity and lulz, but take whatever "facts" she offers with a grain of salt. She once claimed she was told she'd go blind by the age of 16 from migraines but cured herself with veganism, her super legit research skills, and Daddy God.
The sheer breadth of her fantasies and lies will make her fictional autobiography worth checking out.

If only there was a feature to remove all the religious/inspirational cliches she will insert. Jesus will probably comprise 50% of the book, 30% will be about gross food, but rest will be pure Munchausen, ED and earth daddy magic.

Any bets she will dedicate the book to Earth Daddy, God Daddy or both?
 

ProblemDog

All I wanted was a Pepsi.
kiwifarms.net
The sheer breadth of her fantasies and lies will make her fictional autobiography worth checking out.

If only there was a feature to remove all the religious/inspirational cliches she will insert. Jesus will probably comprise 50% of the book, 30% will be about gross food, but rest will be pure Munchausen, ED and earth daddy magic.

Any bets she will dedicate the book to Earth Daddy, God Daddy or both?
As a religious sperg I’m sorely tempted to buy the book simply in order to eviscerate her utterly exceptional approach to theology. The only thing more annoying than a modern fundamentalist Christian is a new-agey, this-2,000-year-old-religion-is-whatever-I-want-it-to-be Christian.
 

Dysnomia

Povertish
kiwifarms.net
I just realised something. The pea soup. Last year Anna was claiming that she could not have peas (while still using pea protein in her slop recipes). Now suddenly pea soup is ok? Maybe because it isn't intact peas it's ok. But her lack of consistancy is hilarious here given all the restrictions she keeps claiming are necessary when they are not.

Her lack of eyebrows is creepy, but her wearing cheap rings on every finger and her thumb is annoying af. I know if I had a constantly leaking asshole on my stomach to tend to I’d want rings on every finger to help trap all the liquid fecal matter under my rings. Given that she always is wearing these rings I have grave doubts she takes them off regularly or bothers to clean them when she does.

No surprise Anna once again plays sick to ruin her parent’s holiday and make her self-imposed and fake illnesses the center of attention. She only takes family trips if they are about her - like the two ridiculous trips to get her absurd online degree and the bizarre faith healing conference with Earth Daddy. If she isn’t the sole focus of the event, she boycotts it just to be a selfish little shit.
I buy the theory that they are body checks like the ana-chan choker. Anna is very unsannitary anyway and getting worse with each poo bag crisis. So I doubt she cares if her rings retain fecal matter which is then transferred to her glop bowls. If anything getting ill is a bonus because then Earth Mom have to slave over her adult babby even more.

I'm sure she will ruin Seattle again. After all, she has an upcoming poo bag emergency all planned out. There's no way she doesn't.

Her followers are just as insane as she is, Jesus H.
View attachment 828913
A three second google search yeilded resources for ostomy patients looking to get back into athletic activities. Anna will ignore that option though. Just like with the seatbelt over her legs. She has to make it look like her illness makes regular life impossible and she has to make due with methods that are designed to garner pity.

RELATIVE: “Would you like some salad, Anna?”

ANNA: “Oh no thank you, I...I can’t. Not after.....well, YOU know...”

RELATIVE: “I....what? I don’t know what you mean.”

ANNA: *eyes light up with glee, dramatic sobby music ramps up in the background, spotlight snaps on overhead as the rest of the gathering falls in shadow and Anna assumes the position of Pious Little Suffering Girl at center stage to deliver her monologue*....

Yeah, I’d fuckin leave her at home to drink leftover dishwater from a baby teacup too.

It is fun to fuck with people like her though.

RELATIVE: “Would you like a sausage, Anna?”

ANNA: “Oh no, I.....can’t. Sigh...”

RELATIVE: “Not a problem. Does anyone else want a sausage?”

ANNA: “I mean I would love one because you worked so hard on them, but I can’t. Because of the surgery.”

RELATIVE: “David, can you get some more napkins? I think these are just about done, so bring a plate too.

ANNA: “I ONLY WISH I COULD BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE I HAVE AN OSTOMY BAG, BUT YOU KNOW IT’S REALLY A BLESSING FROM GOD-

RELATIVE: “Yes dear. Linda can you bring out the salad when you come back?”

ANNA: “MUMMY MY GOD-GIVEN JESUS HOLE IS LEAKING AGAIN, WE HAVE TO LEAVE.”


She’s the kind of person who doesn’t listen to anyone else’s conversations, just listens for the pauses so she can jump in and turn the topic back to the only one that matters, Herself and God and how she learns 38272638 deep religious messages from God every single day, just by checking the post or wrapping up a garden hose or some other inane idiocy. God’s in everything, you know! But only Anna is allowed to tell you how and where.
It must be insufferable. Maybe it's best she was homeschooled. They probably would have found the school nurse hanging in the broom closet after having to deal with super special patient Anna every day.

A gray faced Anna announces the upcoming release of her FOURTH book (somehow she forgot she wrote a second "cookbook" of low calorie liquids), an autobiography. Because a 22 year old who hasnt accomplished anything with her time on earth definitely needs to share her life story.

Anna, Malala Yousafzai and maybe some female Olympians can write any kind of inspirational tome upon graduating college. If they were inclined to brag about top secret work, the Bletchly Park young women could have written books on wartime codebreaking at your age. YOU have not done anything besides psychologically torture your mom for not being submissive enough to Earth Daddy and thus scaring him away, and get a second asshole installed because you've had an eating disorder since age 12. That's it. That's not inspirational.
View attachment 829977View attachment 829979
Can't wait to see how Anna rewites history for the official version of her fake CF vegan Jesus freak journey. We are aware of how many versions she has put out there so she won't fool us.

Anna has done nothing of value and her life story is not inspiring at all. She's a munchie with ED. Yet she acts like this is some long awaited tome of divine wisdom straight from Daddy God and delivered via her tiny, child-like hand. :roll:

Dont believe a word of it. She's changed her extensive biography (10 fucking pages long when she first started the Anna's Organics Lynchburg website!), we've gone over the discrepancies in the past.

I'll buy the book and share it here for posterity and lulz, but take whatever "facts" she offers with a grain of salt. She once claimed she was told she'd go blind by the age of 16 from migraines but cured herself with veganism, her super legit research skills, and Daddy God.
I wonder if her parents know about this upcoming book or any of the others. Given the amount of lies she tells about her health history I'd think she wouldn't want them to read it.

Anna claims to have been a baby who was sick with colic and croup. First of all, an infant would not know if they were a sickly baby since people do not retain memories prior to 3. Then there is the school of thought that colic is a made up disease.

Maybe Anna will do us one better and tell us all about how prolife Earth Mom was when widdle sickly Anna is in the womb. They said she'd be born with downs/rare chromosomal spud condition, but a miracle from Daddy God meant she was born perfectly healthy! For like 3 seconds before baby ginge nearly died of colic!


You are doing Daddy God's work, you truly are.

We are the only ones giving Anna her dose of attention. Nobody else on earth will find this drivel worth buying and dissecting and discussing its contents.
If we stopped following her antics no one would care about her. And no one is gonna buy that book unironically either. Maybe she is hoping that the Christianesque title will attract some sales so she has more Walden Farms and mold powder money.
The sheer breadth of her fantasies and lies will make her fictional autobiography worth checking out.

If only there was a feature to remove all the religious/inspirational cliches she will insert. Jesus will probably comprise 50% of the book, 30% will be about gross food, but rest will be pure Munchausen, ED and earth daddy magic.

Any bets she will dedicate the book to Earth Daddy, God Daddy or both?
Well it won't be dedicated to Earth Mom.
 

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