Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat drunk who posed in a bikini in Times Square, pissed away countless opportunities, Queen of Consooming

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Cheese food product
She was already upper management there when she left. She was on a track to retire by 45 or so. You don't just leave that on a whim
She also over-inflated her role, she was at best a product manager, and Sprinklr being a small company gave her the title of "director", when she was just a product lead. You don't retire at 45 with a product career track in technology.

blue gopher snakes

*hiss hiss*
This was an enormous amount of effort, for which I applaud and thank you. Anna’s writing is so strange that I had to pull some choice quotes from your post and offer my comments.

So when I made my life list eons ago I snuck on there something I thought would finally give me the va va voom I was missing. Pole dancing.
Fuck it, I’m editing this onto one of those office motivational posters.

I feel I learned some new erm * cough cough* useful moves for my non-existent life partner to enjoy.
Which she then tried out on her unconsenting coworkers At Sprinklr.
I can now crawl like a sexy tiger, go down a fire man’s pole like I’m J LO pre-record deal, and have learned how to close out a routine like a fine as freak fantasy female and most importantly “collect my money.”
She writes like a crappy AI trying to pass itself off as a human. Who the fuck talks like this?
When we look at the definition of health, we actually see it referred to as measurement of various components.
The data points that make up health are broad because they encompass several types of data: such as states of being, your actions, the actions of others and your accessibility to certain resources.
You can’t convince me this wasn’t ripped from from a school essay written by some high school sophomore who had to meet or exceed a word count requirement.
For example, I could choose to never drink beer again, that might affect my physical health positively while negatively affecting my mental and social health.
Unabashedly admitting that she uses alcohol to cope with mental health issues. Cool.
You can turn your life into a pseudo video game- always trying to up your life bar.
Again with the alien in a human-suit diction.
I saw a pair of neon striped leggings on one of the swan like yoga goddesses I have the pleasure of following and I lusted hard.
Confirmed sex pest.
Anyways K-Deer took pity on my poor fiscally constrained soul and instead of giving me a discount, gave me a free pair of their radtastic leggings to try out.
Rad. Tastic. Leggings.
So many many moons ago I used to travel excessively for work
*Coachella war bonnet intensifies*
Shudder. The memories. The Smell. The toe jam. Living it was exhausting.

Many people even joked that I didn’t work, and had somehow made travel my life. So when the ladies of SNL did a skit called “Dongs all over the world” about girls traveling the world, and crossing the countries off the map once they’d gotten it in- my friends chuckled to themselves and thought of me.
No. She aggressively tried to make this her reputation at work out of sheer desperate thirstiness. Imagine Anna playing this song to everybody that makes eye contact a little too long.
I wasn’t able to catch it on the boob tube
Boob. Tube. Apparently the Lizard People DO walk among us, but they’re really bad at pretending to be people.
It was at a Paris cafe, with a few french coworkers that I finely found a few minutes to check out the clip
Anna frenchily Frenched all over France.
also “finely”!?
Yes ,I had to awkwardly discuss what a dong is.
Anna forcefully directs the polite conversation to The Dick.
Well, repetition does build memory retention,,, and they weren’t going to forget about dong anytime soon. They also weren’t going to forget the context in which they learned that lovely beacon of modern American colloquialism.
Anna aggressively insists that her coworkers confirm that they know what dong means, agree that Anna is a sex witch, and thank her for the America lessons.
After watching the video an explaining the context, I learned much too late that the joke did not translate
She forced her coworkers to sit through an entire music video. While explaining American slang to her French hostages as if they were naked savages and she a Mormon missionary of yore.
they appreciated my quest for dong and they were more than willing to help.

I didn’t anticipate my sex life would become the office cause de jour. “Lets find Glitter some Parisian dong!”- that’s not uncomfortable to hear. Being introduced and thrust into conversation with strange men- that’s what every girl wants. Being inquisitively asked repeatedly about the dong you’ve enjoyed recently and your techniques for obtaining the prize jewels- a totally normal topic of discussion. Of course, not realizing the joke was not being understood as such until way way waaaay too late into the discussion, the whole thing spiraled into me being lauded as a sexual vixen on the prowl constantly for man candy and good times. I do love man meat, but not enough to be cheekily shoving pushpins into every country I’ve conquered. Candidly, right now, that’d be a pretty unimpressive map.
None of this happened. She writes like a goddamn virgin trying to write smutty fanfiction.
my french coworkers think I am a sexual conquistador.
Perpetrator of a sexual genocide on an unwilling group of people. Apt, Frenchies. Apt.
I met Sebastien ( named changed to protect the not so innocent) on OkCupid, or as I like to call it “the cupes” because it sounds more like the disease it is.
The. Cupes. God if I had a time machine I’d go back to Anna’s high school years and just bully the shit out of her. She’s a goddamn dork.
When I got to the cupcake shop, I was disappointed to see it was closed for renovations.
The truest thing she’s ever written,
We settled at a cafe, and ordered a coffee and croissant, very classy if I do say myself.
more Frenchily Frenching. Also, what the fuck else are you gonna order at a damn coffee shop?!
He began to dive into his mental history as he crawled around looking for the last of his mind candy, but I awkwardly and forcefully changed the subject.
Mind candy? Woof. Maybe if we as a society actually called mood stabilizers “mind candy”, Anna would have been snarfling them down this whole time and wouldn’t have her own KF thread.
NOOOOO!!! I screamed, falling to my knees and weeping dramatically. I should note I did this in my mind, because in real life I agreed. Because I am a nice person, and that’s what nice people do.
Yes. All the nicest girls remember to keep sweet and lead the drug-addled male stranger directly to their place of residence. Make sure to leave the door unlocked and your stabbiest knives out on the counter for his convenience.
I pointed it out, and asked “what’s you’re thoughts on them” hoping this would lead us into a somewhat boring, but safe conversation about how American Apparel treats their employees poorly, whether that’s wrong and etc.
She’s such a nicegirl, it makes my skin crawl.
The gaggle of girls began to systematically chant while clamoring closer; they were demanding our lips to touch
Were these girls visible to anyone but Anna?
Just as I about burst into tears, I saw a mythical unicorn of yellow checkered design.
She writes like she has hypergraphia. I know schizophrenics that write exactly like this, usually paired with completely unrelated badly lit photos.
How I needed to get home. how I needed to drink
You n me both, Anna. Bottoms fuckin up.

Brussels Sprout

Call any vegetable
:story: :story: :story: :story: :story:
I didn’t have any idea that this little lady sex anthem gem even existed. Until of course, my friends got a hold of me. The video began flooding my inbox, gal pals started singing me the song on skype and it wasn’t long before I was being referred to as their friend that was “an international nasty girl.”
PRESS :disagree:

This is making me see Anna and her potential mental instability in a whole different way. Like... she might actually snap. If any Texas Kiwis hear news of a morbidly obese woman in a tri-colored tarp taking hostages at the bank, I think I know who it is.

So Anna's blog online used to date back to the early 2011s til she did a massive delete to hide all her failed diets, etc. Using that lovely FPH blog I tracked back a ton of shit landed on her slideshare....her many places...It was like Dr. Seuss's "The Places You Will Go" I have seen things I will not unsee I have looked into the abyss and survived and I've been informed by the abyss that I will die in 7 days if you all don't watch this...wait...wrong abyss....

It's sad in a way she really was on track she looks almost normal in some pics and the majority of the content was about her slowly losing weight. Also realized while writing this once a researcher always a researcher its LONG.

Our Journey will begin with a lovely detour to Posts of Years Past AKA Posts Anna wishes the world never saw again:
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Her site began as a collaboration between her and a man. She was Glitter and HE was Lasers.View attachment 2046308
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Glitter’s Dreams:
  • Wear a bikini in public ( and look sexified)
  • Eliminate the dreaded “chub rub”
  • Remember what full feels like. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Full.
  • Ride on an airplane with the armrest down and have room to spare.
  • Meet Mr “Maybe Dark, Definitely Tall, and of Course Ridiculously Handsome”
  • By clothes in a exceptionally expensive store and not have the sales associate give me the “bitch please” look
  • Learn to like the taste of water
  • Sit crossed legged or cross my legs and be comfortable
  • Run a mile with out running out of breath
  • Dye my hair a ridiculous color ( Blue? Purple? Pink?)
  • Get a puppy and name him data, after Goonies, not Star Trek
  • Build an adult size cardboard box fort
Lazer’s Dreams:
  • Backpack through Europe
  • Wear normal size clothes
  • Eat cake and not feel guilty
Dreams we both have
  • Hold a baby koala
  • Have baguette fight in front of the Eiffel tower
  • Ride a camel, in a foreign country wearing fancy dessert clothes
  • Help chubby kids beat it young so they don’t end up like us
She started work in Sprinklr in May 2012. By July she was already hounding employees and posting images of them on her blog.July 2012View attachment 2046334

August 2012
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"Dear readers of my blog, I have a problem. See even though I am 100% committed to making this work, focusing on the positive, and committing to an all around healthy lifestyle- I have one little bad habit I cannot seem to shake (LIES: I have many bad habits I am in the process of shaking. But, sometimes I feel my a posts could use a little flourish here and there for dramatic effect). I am addicted to crappy, some-what unknown products that claim to magically make you lose weight faster. All you need to do is slap the words “metabolism enhancer” or “calorie burner” on the package and I am in like Flynn. I’ll take one…. Hell, who am I kidding. I’ll take 3."

"I suppose the only way I will ever beat those angsty, mega-witch moments that always seem to drive to food, then booze, and on a really bad night a couple of smooches with a random I have no interest in **cough** last night **cough*** is to figure out why I always turn to food."

"Those of you that follow me on FB know that I am preparing for a marathon. Yes, running. Running. Running. It sucks. But it’s a necessary evil." (Oh look shes a Ragan...)

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Work Office Photo

"I apparently have bone spurs, one of which chipped off and is literally doing the backstroke in and around my foot fat. I potentially also have some tendon issues, but I have to fork over another $50….errr…. go back next week for another visit to find out for sure what is causing the majority of the pain."

November 2012
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"Below are the top 5 highlights from the last 2 months:
  1. Was able to buckle my seatbelt on the airplane for the first time in years (no more shame covering cardigan for me!)
  2. Fit into my entire goal clothing collection and went from a size 28 to size 20 in pants and a 22/24 to a size 18/20 in tops.
  3. I’ve worked out 50% of the days and walked/biked/ellipticalled over 200 miles in the last 2 months!
  4. I no longer get out of breath moving, even going up multiple staircases
  5. Regained ability to sit cross legged- both like a boss lady in an 80’s movie and Indian style"
December 2012
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"I have a wonderful group of individuals I met while auditioning for the Biggest Loser. Since being rejected (those casting directors don’t know a good thing when they see it), we’ve continued to email and keep in touch." (She never auditioned she made her followers help pay for her to go a week long vacation at the resort for about 4 grand)

January 2013
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"When I was about 7 years old I can distinctly remember sitting on the end of my mom’s bed and lecturing her on what a horrible mother she was because we were going to Cape Cod on vacation instead of Disney World. I told her it was her God given responsibility to take me see to the house of mouse. I pleaded I was the only child who had ever been denied such joys. Knowing how weird a kid I was, I probably made a business presentation on why Disney World was good for a child’s health. You’re probably thinking, ” oh she’s making this up.” I am not. I swear someday I will interview Papa Glitter and he will tell you all about how I use to prepare formal presentations to persuade. My parents were constantly presented charts, facts, and other secondary research on why having a pet hedgehog, going to Disney World, attending military summer camp ( I know wtf?) or giving into whatever crazy thing I was pursuing at the moment was for my betterment. Truth be told this followed me to high school where I wrote an elaborate “dissertation” on the dangers of block scheduling- boldly titling it “Block Scheduling- BS Says IT All” and hand delivering it to the head of the school district. I digress, but really I was a very weird kid. My parents caved to a lot of my weird tendencies. For example, I got a pet hedgehog, but I never did go to Disney World."

February 2013
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"If you are plus size this is so so so important. Why, you might ask? Because we jiggle. If you’ve ever been active you can feel your fleshy mass go up and down with your body. If you’ve got some cushion, it’s like your body constantly feels like it’s at the worlds series every time you exercise-It loves to do the wave. Compression clothing sucks in some of that jiggle and makes running feel more in control. I have tried a million times to run and my jello-y bits have always flapped and in some instances been painful and hard on my body. However, during today’s run, wearing compression gear things kept in place as I moved and that added pain was gone."

<There is a post about how bad her teeth are with pics shes had some serious work done before she made it to the size she is now>
"This post is going to come off a little vain. It’s going to come off a little valley girl, who has everything complaining. It’s a little bit #WhiteGirlProblems. The above photo was taken about a year ago during a trip to Turkey. Please ignore the awesomeness of the scenery and the equally as awesome cat for another day. Focus on me. I am not an ugly girl.

While growing up fat was a challenge for me. Yes, I got teased in high school. Yes, my clothing choices were limited. Yes, I couldn’t do things I wanted to (roller coaster rides mainly). Yes, occasionally, I longed to be something I wasn’t. However, I never walked around with self loathing. When I looked in the mirror naked, I didn’t hate what I saw. To the contrary, I found my body beautiful. Even at my heaviest I was perfectly proportioned; I always had a beautiful face. I got asked on dates. Even more so, men would confess there love to me on the streets. Sure most of these guys where bat shit crazy, but the fact remains. I never have felt or been treated like I was ugly- even by myself.

I used to tell my girl friends that I was too happy to lose weight and for all intents and purposes it was kind of true. All the things girls babble on about when they write weight loss blogs or make healthy eating motivational images didn’t really apply to me. The photos of skinny girls in sports bras and fake tans weren’t motivation for me. I was not losing weight to feel sexy or dress slutty. In fact, I did not think to lose weight to be feel pretty, sexually desirable or socially acceptable; I already was. I never learned to hate my body. I never believed the people who told me I wasn’t beautiful; so many people regularly told me the opposite. I often felt like the prettiest girl in the room, even though I was the biggest. I had built a great career, great friends, and an amazing life for a person at any size. If women were cars I was the Bentley of plus size women.

However, after losing both my mother and sister in part to morbid obesity, the reality of being overweight really hit me. While I was happy, dated enough (you never goon enough dates, good ones are like unicorns), I realized that there were serious consequences to my actions. That’s a blog for another day, but the point is I instantly committed to a new life choice and everything started to change. That change has been hard.

My self-worth has become tied to a number of the scale. Everyday I scrutinize my choices and when the numbers don’t move I don’t just get angry- I loathe myself. That feeling of self-hate and disgust that most women feel towards their body on a semi-regular basis crept into my life. Even more so, after losing 80 lbs. My skin is starting to droop. I look into the mirror now, and instead of a beautiful body, I see weird wrinkles. My belly button is no long round, it’s a long oval- like a slot in a vending machine. I can feel that things just don’t sit properly in my body. They jiggle. And no matter how much lotion I put on or how many prayers I say, it’s not getting better. It’s getting worse.

For the first time in my life (or at least for as long as I can remember), I am learning what it feels like to hate myself. And what I have learned is that for women most self-hate doesn’t come from a man, society or anything external. It comes from our own unrealistic expectations to become our own version of perfect- what we “think” the above wants us to be. It’s usually what we are physically incapable of being; the things we “want” for. Whether it’s a tan sports bra wearing California dream girl or big busted curvy pin-up girl, we all have out own mental image of perfect. However, perfect doesn’t exist. It might as well be a made up word. But still every time I look in the mirror or step in the scale that word still echoes through my brain. “Why can’t I just be perfect?”

I find myself reading a lot more motivational stuff. I find myself dressing up more to “hide the ugly.” It’s so much so that people at work think I am seeing some one. After reading this they’ll get the sad news that only date I am going on is a one with insecurity. As depressing and sad as all this might be, I am grateful. In a way, I think this is allowing me to feel something I haven’t felt before. And this feeling has made me want to hug everyone women I know who has told me about their body issues in the past. I’d tell them I get it now and that I think they’re beautiful. I didn’t understand before. I didn’t know how much it hurt. I didn’t understand why you couldn’t see how gorgeous you were. I thought you were whining about being thin and a bombshell. I thought you saw yourself how I saw you. I am sorry. Forgive me. I understand now.

We are all fighting for own version of impossible perfection."

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Her Mother and Sister

"My Mother passed just short of her 52 birthday in 2003. She had gotten sick and her body couldn’t fight the illness. Her death certificate listed her official cause of death as “morbid obesity.” My sister Katherine died in June of 2011, a result of long term weight related issues. Neither my mother nor my sister had ever been tremendously healthy people. I fervently believe that both their deaths were a result of their poor food, exercise, and general health choices. And those choices will affect me for the rest of my life. I lost most of my family. I am constantly envious of the relationships my friends have with their mothers and sisters. I am constantly fearful that I too will die young. Sometimes I feel the only thing I really have to remember them by is the ton of shitty habits I am fighting tooth and nail to break. I don’t want anyone else to ever feel this type of pain.

Now it kills me is every time I see a plus size site that advocates being severely overweight as a healthy lifestyle alternative (the link is an example). I get livid. BEING OBESE SHOULD NOT BE SUGGESTED AS A HEALTHY WAY TO LIVE. That’s why they titled the state of being so (morbidly obese) a synonym for “deathly fat.” Instead of focusing on any weight as being “healthy”, we should encourage people to be active, exercise regularly, and eat a balanced diet."

"For the past 5 years I have had a semi-irrational fear of getting stuck in the bath tub. It all started when I just got too big to really enjoy taking a bath; laying in the tub became more uncomfortable than relaxing. True panic was born when I read about President Taft having to be freed from a basin back in ye olden days- and on the day of his inauguration no less! This of course led to a terrifying visions of my butt cheeks wedged between porcelain, and me screaming between gasps of tears “free me from this watery hell hole.”"

March 2013
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"So last week when I was worrying about the fact I hadn’t been able to weigh myself on my scale, what eating out all week (even though I was doing 90 minutes of cardio daily to offset) would do, how I would afford skin reconstruction surgery and if I would ever reach a healthy weight and actually need that surgery- I said is enough is enough. I just need to calm the (edited) down. Like immediately. Because whatever got me in this state of crazy, wasn’t healthy. Allowing it to go on was going going to cause me to end up like one of those bat shit ladies with smeared red lipstick, in a fur house coat and slippers carrying a dead cat. I am not a cat person.

So I ran away. With less that 48 hrs notice I told my boss I need to cut loose for a few days, booked a flight to Rome, and just escaped."

April 2013
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<She was already doing her weird wearing little clothing shit while working for Sprinklr>

May 2013
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<Her Sexy Face>
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"I felt that the only way to really calm my nerves this morning was to eat a cinnabon someone have “generously” left in the office kitchen. I used quotes there because I fully suspect some of the hotter ladies in the office might be concerned I am closing in on their their tales when it comes to my level of “damn-you-fine-ness” and are engaging in classic espionage of the diet variety. After I had eaten all the 880 calories goodness (yes that is how many calories one cinnabon has, you’re welcome), I turned to the bag of emergency Skinny Pop I keep hidden in the back of my file cabinet. Next thing I know, I am covered in nacho cheese, holding a milkshake and crying over the fact that I can’t find dunkaroos anywhere in this stupid city. I had binged."

June 2013

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"So back to last week’s flight. I entered the cigar tube of a plane and groggily walked to my seat. I wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t all there. I started jamming my carry-on into the tiny overhead (because I’ll be damned if they have to plane check it). It takes me a second to realize it, but when I look down- it clicks. My destined seat partner, my compadre of sky times is severely overweight. He’s already got the seat rest pried up (because I am pretty certain he can’t even get it down). He looked completely terrified. I can see the fear in his eyes. This is a fat fliers worst nightmare; in his mind is running the words, ” CODE RED! ALERT! I have been sat next to a plus size passenger. Act cool. What are we going to do buddy? SQUISH AGAINST THE PLAN WINDOW. STALL THE FLIGHT!”

I knew instantly we would not both fit. I might fit well in a plane seat now, but I do need all of my seat- and it’s going to be a long time before I don’t. These pinto cars of the sky aren’t known for being spacious. Emotionally I was a mess. I was frustrated I was going to have to deal with our situation, because this man obviously was not the same type of fat flyer I had been.He was going to stare out the window as hard as possible, avoiding the situation we were in."

July 2013
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Feederism Really Creeps Me Out

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I never thought I would write this blog post, mostly because it’s terrifying and awkward and just plan ick to write. However, after the week I’ve had I feel I need to write this post for those girls out there who will face the same terrors. I am writing today about fat fetishism and how scary, creepy and demoralizing it can be. Here’s an overview of what creepy stuff is out there, in case you’re curious.
It’s usually from someone you don’t expect, making it even more hurtful and traumatizing. I’ve added all kinds of reaction photos so you can see just how creeped out I am about writing about this. Some how, it makes this all less uncomfortable. Maybe, its just because I like looking at pretty pictures of myself. Don’t Judge.
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Let’s meet Street Blipster, AKA the very attractive man who asked me out on my walk home last week. I was elated. He was buff, and handsome, and seemingly out of my league. I had hit the jackpot. Over the week we shared amazing conversation and stories. We clicked. He doted on me and made me feel special. Even though he wasn’t perfect (and either am I), I felt we had the start of something potentially awesome. I was wrong.
It only took a few more days for the scary parts to start coming out. His infatuation with my weight. His secret fetishes. Of course being the sneaky sneak I am, I egged him on. Once I opened the flood gate- I was terrified by what came out.

“I want to tie you to a chair, shoving ridiculous food in your mouth, and grabbing your belly and telling you I ‘m going to make you crazy fat.”
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“I want to force you face down into a plate of food, getting your butt smacked while I call you a fat b*tch.”
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These are the messages he sent me. This was his version of naughty texting. Me, devalued and submissive, being chastised for my weight, while being force fed excessive amounts of food- that was his image of sexy. The sad thing is, this isn’t the first time I’ve had this experience. Or the second. Or the third. I have had this sick twisted play on roles shoved in my face more times than I can count. Frankly it’s beginning to make me terrified I’ll never find a man you accepts this bubble butt as it is without crudely fantasizing about humiliating me and “fattening me up”.
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I met my first fat fetishist in college- at a Mormon university of all places. I remember feeling much like I did last week. “How did I get so lucky? He’s so smart and cute and seemingly out of my league.” My perception changed quickly when he got a hard on squeezing my fat rolls and confided in me that he wanted to watch me devour a plate full of brownie in front of him. He wanted me to gain weight. When I told him gaining weight was not an option I wanted nor could afford. He remarked, how “nothing turned him on more than the thought of me trying to squeeze into clothes two sizes to small for me.” Sicko.
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I remember being insecure and confused. I liked food, maybe fat fetishism was inevitable. I even considered that maybe I secretly liked it that my weight was the result of some hidden id impulse. I say all this because I generally feel that women that feed into this -excuse my french- fucked up culture do so because of low self esteem. Their desire to be loved by someone else is some much stronger then there own self love. It make me sad because I know what it’s like to feel that way- especially in a society that put so much value on relationships and body image. I am lucky I was strong enough, otherwise I could very well be chained to some sickos bed right now, immobile, helpless and trapped in weight that was abusively forced on me.
I often think about that boy from college, and how he married a thin girl. I’ve done my research and these fetishists often try to fatten up their spouses secretly. They can’t feel sexually unsatisfied unless their spouse is gaining weight. I get nervous he’s doing that to her. If it doesn’t work, will he eventually leave her to find a girl who will allow him to trap her in a prison out of food?
I also think a lot about all the boys. They have some very striking resemblances. They are all attractive. They all have low self-esteem and a personal obsession with keeping their body fat as low as possible. That always stuck out to me, given their opposite sexual predilection in mates. They are educated and generally reject culture norms as much as possible. For example, with two of them, they went out of their way to regularly remind me they are above societal norms.
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I thought about why they like me. My ideas are bit self-centered, but since it’s sharing time, I’ll go ahead. I’m a pretty girl. These guys obviously have some type of obsession with making a girl entirely reliant on them and further more unable to leave them. So in short, taking a pretty girl and as Madonna says, “hiding her away from the rest of the world” is the ultimate goal for them.
Well, sorry boys , this girl will NEVER be part of your creeped out fantasy.

September 2013
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<She randomly moved to UK after the Feederism post>

Coming Next the Biggest Loser Resort and when she randomly returns to Sprinklr as a Director position after disappearing to the uk for months!
"Focus on me. I am not an ugly girl." There is so much to unpack in this entire post, but I'd just like to point out that even if Anna were thin, she would still not be a pretty girl. She has never had a pretty face, She is not a Tess or a PearChan or a Loey Lane. She's plain at best, a little on the thin-lipped, angular-jawed, small eyes mannish side, if we're being completely honest.


First off I didn't realize just HOW MUCH she deleted to hide from the world! Figured I'd be making 1 or 2 blog posts then hop straight into Linkedin! I'm skipping a lot of filler shit and trying to just keep to interesting or work related shit.
September 2016

Plus Sized Office Attire

"So since I have to dress very professionally the next few days I thought it would be mucho fun to do a little mini blog series on plus size professional wear thats corporate, but still bananas stylish. Today we kick of the series with a bang by keeping simple while also keeping it bold.

A white blouse is the staple essential in any power bitch’s wardrobe, but that does not mean it has to be boring. This perfect poplin peplum white blouse demands the attention fo the board and the power of the board. The mandarin collar with simply but unique embroidery adds a nice umph to the shirt while also saying I’ve got expensive taste boys.

I keep the simple but luxe look going by pairing this amazing top with a sassy stretch pencil skirt, with a modern zipper detail. It says I like to be comfortable and kick ass at the same time. The waffle like texture of the skirt adds interest with out complicating the look with unnecessary details.""


"So today is the official start of Content Marketing World the Conference I am here in Cleveland attending, and the reason I am fixed up and looking sharp. I am resisting the extreme urge to scream “buy buy, sell sell” at random intervals and to sing “Business Time” by Flight of the Conchords.

Today’s look is simple. It’s my favorite dress I’ve ever purchased in my entire life. Internet meet the unicorn of professional dresses, this multi-colored mash-up frock from Eloquii. I love it. I love how it flares out when I twirl. I love all the hues. I love the pleated empire waist. I love that it’s so light weight. I love everything about it. It’s the best.

And people here at the conference seem to think it’s the best too. This is the most in my entire life that strangers have gone out of their way to discuss my dress. Women from all walks, commenting on the daring of my dress, the cool of my chemise, the bow chick a bow WOW of my business attire. I feel like a technicolor goddess."


"I didn’t think an MC Hammer inspired outfit would become one of my favorites; I KNEW its. There’s something about wearing oversized pants and gold lame that really gets my motor running. Plus, it’s like this challenge I accepted and conquered. It’s also led to me running to coworkers desks and occasionally screaming “HAMMER TIME” as I shimmy back and forth with such enthusiasm and gusto that only channeling the original Hammer could do.

This outfit should be a joke. It shouldn’t be taken seriously. It’s so many textures, so many statements, so many conflicting styles. However, that’s exactly why it succeeds; there is an unexpected playfulness that makes a bold impression. This look is the very definition of a fashion statement. I only wish I had been able to capture it on the street, surrounded by the whimsy of the city. Sadly, this look is office bound today.

The quilted jacket is a golden wonder I snagged as a gift from Eloquii. Expect to see this blazer wonder many many more times this season. The pants were an impulse buy from the Monif C clearance section. While this pair is sold out, here’s an alternative I found a Lane Bryant that you could easily add straps to the side for the same affect. The athletic knit crop top is also a bargain buy, bought during a 50% sale, from Fashion to Figure. The shoes are crocs. Mock me now, these things are comfortable AF while looking all kinds of cool."

October 2016

"And with the internet of the entire building clutched between my freshly styled hands I modeled the hell out of that crawl space."


That poor poor pushup bra....

"How to Dress for Work: Plus Size Outfit Ideas for the Office"


Golden Gal

"Looking rich is fun. Looking like a fashion bad ass that’s also rich is better. I like pushing the limits and pairing a bold tight with an other wise black and white outfit. This yellow pair worked perfect because they are a nice visual reference to the gold piping the bib of the dress. Topping this playful power combo with a luxe fur trimmed coat, really does give the impression you are a golden gal."


Overall Eclectic and Electric

"There’s something inspiring about the vim and vigor a little pattern can bring to your step. Put me in a pretty print and instantly their is a spring in my step and and smile on my face. This sassy button down brings to life one of this seasons most pervasive trends- a pinafore dress. Bring the outfit to life by introducing subtle nods to school fays long a go like playful brogues, bobby socks, and few pieces of flair."


Vintage Vixen

"I love a good vintage floral, something that says “I’m almost your grandmas couch, if your grandma was really cool and into making couches out for awesome pant fabric.” I love pushing limits so it was a no brainer to punch up this ballsy floral with a pop of puckery perfect yellow. The yellow sock s tie the shirt into the look and the red shoes add a clever nod to the subtle crimson tones in the pants."

November 2016

"I am a high school drop out. I did get my GED instead. It’s not something I am proud of, but I am proud of how I was able to find my way into college and eventually an ivy league master’s degree. When I think about it, it’s a great reminder that anything is possible with a little hard work and determination.

I once set my house of fire…. with my underwear. Imagine the moment of glee I experienced when the sexy fireman showed the cause of the blaze to be the charred remains of some of my fancy pants. Sigh. I am not sure why I just remembered this today, but it happened. It is and will forever be one of my best party stories. I mean just think of all the “hot pants” jokes I can incorporate when telling it. And I do. All of them.

Get a few drinks in me and I think I’m underground MC champion. I say think, because likely it’s a selection of random words constructed into some gibberish sounds that kind of rhymes. Whatever a hot mess it is, I deliver it with the confidence of a rap legend. I own that stage or rather- dive bar. In my own head I’m amazing and will always be on the look out for someone to give me a beat, so I can spit a few lines, before gesturing a mic drop and awkwardly walking away."

December 2016


I Wore Sweatpants to Work and No One Noticed
"With black streaks floating across my face- remnants of make up I was too lazy to remove before slumber- I made a decision. Screw being an adult; I’m wearing sweatpants to work. I work in a big kid office, with fancy meetings and free snacks. But even so, some days you just got to push the boundaries and rock some fleece dungarees. So with elastic around my waist and fabric cuffs around my ankles, I marched defiantly out of my home towards the office.

Crossing through the double glass doors that separate the world of flirting and cocktails from meetings and thoughtful insights, I felt like a bad ass. Look at me suits, I’m wearing sweatpants. I see you chinos, I’m rocking joggers. What up pencil skirt, these pants are made of fleece. In fact, I walked in so cool, composed and confident no one noticed. In fact, I had to walk around and announce to several people, “Look! Guys! I wore sweatpants to work! I’m such a rebel!” Silence. “Look! Swwwweaaat Pannnnts.” Their response? ” Oh that’s nice, I didn’t notice. They’re just pants.”

Today I learned I can wear sweat pants everyday to work and no one will notice. Life changing."

"This year, I found myself living in my sister’s apartment in January and desperately trying to avoid her complex’s office staff. See, looking for an apartment during the holiday season is not my jam. This left me to hide out until my new lease started in February, even though her complex was eager for me to put my name on the lease, give up my first born son, and tattoo a reminder to pay rent each month on my bicep. Hiding from the leasing staff is the closest I have ever felt to being a member of the mafia.

My hotel in India learned about my Instagram and I became “Miss Anna”. I was given the Royal treatment including a specially prepared meal of regional delicacies, regular check ins on how I was enjoying my stay and wine in my room each night. That stuff was lovely, but even better was the fact that the staff would gawk at my boss as if he should be carrying my bag, worshiping at my feet, and thanking me for allowing him to be in my presence. Luckily I have the best boss ever and he played along like a good sport, while I soaked up all the special attention.

I have always loved visiting Costa Rica and this trip was no exception, our accommodations, Bodhi Tree, situated literally in between the middle of nowhere and heart of the rainforest, offered the most tranquil recharge time I’ve ever experienced. Plus, it should not go unmentioned that the resort allowed me to change my name on the reservation to “sexy beast.” Forcing staff member to awkwardly yell out “sexy beast” anytime they needed to get in touch with me.

However, during my vacation to Jamaica, things turned dangerous and ended up with me being in the wrong place at the wrong time and witnessing something pretty traumatic. As a result, I’ve put most of my social media on hold as I work through reframing my life and healing. I swore I was going to miss the worst of 2016’s wrath, but dangit the year got me in the end."

March 2017

More office appropriate outfits:

"I hear it time and time again. “Don’t you think that’s a little loud for the office?” Simple answer is no. Prints scare people. However as scary as a funky frock might feel, never before has it been more acceptable for a woman to have fun with her work day wardrobe. Professionals in television and media are even regularly shown sporting bold, colorful prints.

The key to rocking a good print in the office comes down to 2 things. First, make sure the cut of the shirt is work appropriate. Think about it this way- would this top be appropriate to wear to work in a solid color? If yes, then you should totally be able to rock the same shirt in a print. This is of course assuming the print is not of something wildly inappropriate. That kind of rock and roll will probably never fit the bill for office attire. Side note: now I really want a printed blouse with tiny “hot damn” printed all over it.

Second, keep it simple. When trying to make a bold print work appropriate, it really is all about how you style it. While, I am ALWAYS a fan of a print power clash, that’s usually more than the office can handle. Instead I rely on low detail, stream-lined neutral items to wear with my sassy printed frock. That way the prints can be in your face, but demure enough to be boss lady approved."

May 2017
More office appropriate outfits:

"Athleisure wear is comfortable. Athleisure wear is cute. But athleisure wear is not work appropriate… or is it? I challenged myself to define a new fashion class.

Call it busleisure, workletics, jobsport or whatever other quirky new age name you want. I will simply call it comfortable at the cubicle, wearable at the water cooler, and baller at the board meeting.

The result is style that make you wonder- just wear is this girl going? She’s going to run the world, sir. She’s going to run the world.

June 2017

July 2017

Recently I’ve seen a lot a of discussion about what is and is not “body positive.” I’ve done a lot of research and it seems there are a lot of articles pointing out what is and is not body positive, but very few attempting to explain the movement, why it’s important and what being body positive means. In order to help facilitate debate, educate the masses and also kind of sort out my own thoughts on the subject, I thought I’d take my own stab at it. This is 100% world according to Glitter and if you disagree, let’s talk about it. Because it’s through discussion, movements get solidified and organized.

What is Body Positivity?

For me body positivity is the belief that every individual has the right to exist, in whatever body they have today, tomorrow and in the future without pressure to attain an “acceptable body” or rejection from society if they don’t. In this perspective regardless of race, gender, size, disabilities, health, hair growth and whatever other variant you throw into the mix, a person’s worth and dignity is equal. They deserve the same rights. The same opportunities. The same access to knowledge and experiences. They also deserve the same representation in media and leadership.

What About Self Love?

You’ll note in my definition there is nothing about self-love, because to me body positivity has nothing to do with how much you love your body. Often times people use the phrase “I’m body positive” in exchange for ” I love myself”. But loving your body- even if it isn’t the societal norm- isn’t what body positivity is about. Your own self-love does nothing to increase the access to basic rights for people with marginalized bodies. Sure, the body positivity movement might have helped you find self-love, but they aren’t the same thing.

An important point to also acknowledge is that we often learn to love ourselves, but do not learn to accept and appreciate others. If you love yourself and judge someone else’s body, that is counter to the culture body positivity is trying to create. In line with this thinking, if you try to create any type of boundaries on which bodies deserve respect (the classic, ” I’m all for body positivity, but…” phrasing) you are actually hurting someone’s ability to exist freely in their body. In this regard, it’s totally possible to have self-love and not be body positive. They are decidedly different things.

What is Diet Culture?

Right now, there is a huge effort to re-purpose the political side of body positivity and use it sell things, primarily to women. You’ll often see body positive bloggers talk about “diet culture” or the idea that people are taught they need to constantly be trying to achieve the idealized body type. Now if you choose to go on a diet based on your own goals and ambitions or health- that has nothing to do with body positivity. It simply means you’ve made a decision to change your body and that’s really no one else’s business. However, if you write a post about how to lose “13 pound in 30 days” to be your “sexiest self” that is anti- body positive. Why? Because you’ve associated a change in your body (losing 13 pounds) with having a body this more accepted by the community (sexiest self).

Why is Representation Important?

Seeing different bodies and elevating images of different bodies is important because it creates a new norm. There was an experiment on racism- If you held up a flat picture of an unknown black man in front of a white person, the sections of his brain committed to anger and fear would fire. However, if you normalized the black man by giving him thoughts and feelings or showing him performing an everyday activity, the white brain would then show significantly less firing in these regions and expanded action in parts of the brain used for comprehension and compassion. The study found that one of the ways to decrease racism to was to integrate and educate different races about each other. Ignorance and avoidance were keys reasons for unnecessary anger.

Representation in the body positive movement is needed in the same way. If we can show all sorts of bodies doing all sorts of things to the world, the more comfortable and less fearful the general public will become of them. The opposite is also true, the less we see different body types, the scarier they become.

October 2017

"Monday was one of those days I wish hadn’t happened, but am ultimately a better person because it did. Sometimes growth is super painful, but we come out the end better. So as much as I really wanted to run away and hide from all the emotions and self analysis I faced yesterday. I am forever grateful I didn’t. I shared a very public opinion about a very controversial topic. I received some well-thought out rebuttals, but I also received some pretty nasty commentary. It was hard to see a wide variety of assumptions about me be expressed, as well as several unfair analyses of how had come to believe what I did. Some felt the need to negate some pretty powerful and hard experiences in my life. And unfortunately, my body reacted and reminded me of those emotions, those moments, and that pain. It was rough.

I was so hurt. I tried to put something positive out and as a result was left feeling very helpless and like I re-broken something I had already healed. I was feeling so much that I simply didn’t need to. Reliving these experiences weren’t necessary. My participation in the discussion wasn’t necessary. So I made a decision. Somethings just aren’t worth talking about. There are parts of my life I am not ready to share. Heck, I may never be ready. And until I feel comfortable discussing all of it, I’m going to talk about none of it.

What is so hard about this experience, is I didn’t expect this to affect me as it did. I didn’t expect to suddenly feel everything I felt. I thought I was stronger than that. The truth is sometimes being a blogger makes you feel a bit invincible. You get so used to hate. You get desensitized. You begin to expect it. Other’s expect it of you. While there’s power in being conditioned to be fearless and impenetrable, there also can be a slow loss of reality and empathy.

So while yesterday was painful and overwhelming, I am thankful for it. I still stand by my words. I still believe what I said. However, all of that seems quite pointless now. The real thing I learned yesterday is that I am still human. It’s ok to feel. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to have things that are difficult to talk about, experiences you wished never happened, and moments you wish you could rewrite. It’s not shameful to be sensitive, overwhelmed, or hurt. Even though I am blogger exposed to the world, I still am human. I still have feelings. I have fears. I still have room to grow. Sometimes my own expectations of what I need to be, get in the way of who I really am. I’m a feeler and yesterday I felt things. I felt them hard. And those feelings ultimately made me a better person, so I refuse to be ashamed of or regret them. "


"There’s some pretty crazy things I’ve done for the sake of blogging. I think walking down an active city street for “authentic” New York photos has to be one of them. Red light. Go! Go! Go! Green light . Quick get out of the road before you a become very large piece of gingham and denim road kill!! Yes, pose with that taxi while the driver of said taxi says creepy things to you. This is the big city and I was playing a weird form of sexy frogger. Personally , I think I set an all new high score. "

November 2017

"People tell me all the time things I shouldn’t wear- often before I’ve tried it on. This patterned skirt is a great example of something many people warned me not to wear. It’s light colored. It’s vertical print. It’s short. In some sort of plus size fashion rule book, that is stored in a very secret box, that only the pure in heart can access, whose words are now passed through our society through verbal storytelling by judgemental people, it says this. In any case, that book is very very old. It probably references bloomers. And cod pieces. And chastity belts. And Isn’t it about time we got a rewrite?

So, ancient rule book be damned! I bought the skirt anyways. Not to be controversial. Not to make a statement. I bought it because it looked like a sweater I had purchased Data for the winter and I wanted us to match. It’s funny because often times people think I wear things for the shock value, but most of the time its because of one of 3 things: I think its it’s pretty, I can match my dog or it’s outside my comfort zone and I want to challenge myself to make it work.

As a plus size women there’s all this meaning put behind usually meaningless decisions. I need to wear clothes. I buy clothes I like. I wear those clothes. While usually I am wearing what I like and what spoke to me that day, the world sometimes interprets it into a grand statement. I’m brave or bold. I’ve broken the antiquated rules. I went out of the house with something that actually shows the shape of my body . In my heart of heart I can’t wait until the day when my fashion sense is praised without the caveat that I’m plus or body positive or wearing something society says I shouldn’t. How about just- ” this girl is wearing a cool outfit.” That would be nice. I’d like that."

December 2017

"I have heard it time and time again from my internet friends and many kind old ladies in retirement homes, that I have a face of a 1920-1940s film star."

January 10th 2018

Why I Quit My Job

"In May of 2012 I started on one of the most amazing adventures of my life- working at a then teeny tiny start-up, Sprinklr. I had just moved back from London and that the first week I slept in the office. I had to hit the ground running; there was no time to spare for apartment hunting.

Over the last 5+ years I have worn many hats. I’ve been a strategic advisor, teaching brands why social media is important and how their business needs to change to support it. I’ve been a webmaster, building the first company website with my CTO over 4 very sleepless days and nights. I’ve been a builder, helping to open offices in London and France. I’ve been an explorer, attending meetings in 15 different countries, often held in a language different than my own. I’ve been a problem solver, fixing issues and finding new ways to do old things, but better. I’ve been an innovator, product managing the future of Sprinklr’s technology. Most importantly I’ve been a friend, building amazing relationships with my coworkers all over the world.

Leaving Sprinklr was not an easy decision. When you are employee twenty-something at a company that grows to just under 2000 in 5 years- it doesn’t feel like work. It feels like family. I used to call our CEO “Papa Ragy” and our then COO “Mama Murali” (because he was the one that would cave if you needed something). Sprinklr’s technology wasn’t our job, it was our baby. So how does one abandon their child?

What I realized was for the first time in my life I was ready to create my own “baby”. It is time to go out on my own. Sprinklr taught me how to be tough and deal with hard situations head on. It taught me to be flexible and “make it work”- you have to do that to survive in a start up. It taught me to be confident- allowing me to present and advise c-level executives all over the world. When I asked myself what’s next? I realized I was ready to stop building someone else’s dream and start building my own.

I will miss seeing my boss and work-husband, Paul, daily the most. I owe much of the rational, kind thinking I’ve developed due to his diligent mentorship. He is part therapist, part genius with a touch of sass and a heaping spoonful of bougie. He taught me you can succeed through patience, understanding and kindness. I hope everyone is able to learn from someone like Paul in their career.

There are so many memories I’ll never forget from my time at Sprinklr. I’ll remember getting our first real office and having to roll our desk chairs through the middle of Herald Square because we didn’t have a budget for movers. I’ll remember finding our first UK headquarters on google as a foreigner in a new country. I’ll remember head-banging with my Indian coworkers so hard I gave one of them a black eye (sorry Chinmay). I’ll remember our CEO after a particularly hard meeting, giving me $600 out of his wallet and telling me spend all of it in the next 24 hours enjoying myself (that is also the story of how I bought every single karaoke session at Silver Linings in San Francisco one night) . I’ll remember saying uber over and over with my French team- because it sounds delightfully ridiculous with a Parisian accent. I’ll remember the company award that was created to acknowledge my hard work one holiday season, that’s now a symbol of excellence in the company. I’ll remember the interns I mentored and watched as their careers flourished. I’ll remember what it felt like to do the impossible simply because you supported each other and believed you could. Sprinklr taught me that passion and hard work really can change the world.

What I’ll remember most is that they let me do it all as me- weird, silly, sing-songy, dancing, dog-toting, me. As evidenced by the photo above at a company event and the terrible (and hopefully lost for good) animated gif of me drunk dancing that was once dubbed everyone’s “favorite part of SXSW 2014.” Finding a company that gets out of your way, lets you be your true self and watches you flourish is incredibly rare. The people I have met here have changed me for the better. The things I have experienced have taught me just how much I am truly capable of. Thank you for preparing me for my next big adventure, Sprinklr. Thank you even more for letting me be me. "

Kinda obvious she really was more into making a spectical of herself on social media, etc. then working WAY before she left.

So deleted portions of blog are done now we jump into the fun stuff!

Let's end this with a current expose vid i found while searching this all up:



Anna O'Brien was born with a big mouth, big heart and big ideas. She shares her life, learning and fearless fashion sense daily as Glitter + Lazers. Once a side project, Glitter + Lazers has quickly grown to become a cornerstone in the motivational and fashion communities. She was named a 2019 break out star on Tiktok.

Anna is also an accomplished global speaker- having presented in over 10 countries, at events such as Cannes Lions, SXSW, adweek, and more. She is known for her candid and captivating presentation style and her ability to transform difficult concepts into executable steps.

Over the past 10 years she has built a career on innovation and creative problem solving- helping some of the worlds biggest and best brands shift the way they engage and learn from their consumers. An early advocate for social media, Anna helped to build the initial social media program at Citibank.

Most recently Anna worked at Sprinklr first consulting with the world's top brands on innovating through technology and process, and later leading the development and strategy behind Sprinklr's Content Marketing and Influencer software.

Where left brain meets right- is where you'll find Anna. A data-centric individual since day one; Anna has a Masters in Quantitative Methods in the Social Sciences from Columbia University. She is deeply embedded in the new technology, social media, and digital communities and intimately familiar with the latest & greatest trends, strategies, technology & social networks.









What is Customer Relationship Management?

Customer Relationship Management (CRM) is a system for managing a company’s interactions with current and future customers. Most people assume CRM is solely a technology. CRM is much more: it is the process by which a business organizes, automates, facilitates and optimizes interactions based on consumer knowledge and data.

One of the number one reasons companies use a CRM system is to move customers and prospects through a purchase pipeline. In this instance, the movement of the consumer is fairly unilateral. For example, the company sends an email with the end goal of increasing click-through-rate or conversion. The below chart outlines a typical unilateral path and commonly associated measurements. Note, a typical project may view these metrics across several different groups of individuals, content variations, and more.


Performance of campaigns and initiatives are typically measured against achievement of an end objective, such as “increasing click-through rate. These objectives are commonly described as the “so what” of a project or what a marketing team intends to achieve by executing a certain activity or the Key Performance Indicator (KPI). Typically marketing efforts center around one of three goals:


To achieve any of these goals, a typical CRM program is tasked with managing a customer record across several lines of business, including but not limited to, sales, marketing, customer service and technology. Usually creating a CRM program is not feasible with out support from a database and an technology infrastructure. CRM in practice is centered on data and information that can be collected around consumer preferences and then used to more accurately target various customers. Thus a true CRM should be considered an optimized mix of technology, the right people with the right skillsets, process, and execution.

CRM’s Evolution, the Rise of Social CRM

Social CRM refers to the inclusion of consumer created assets, content, and actions into consumer relationship management process. While many argue that the inclusion of social media and other real-time data has completely replaced traditional CRM, it has instead simply reimagined it.

Social data is typically sourced in four ways:

Much like a traditional CRM, this data is then used to target groups of users more effectively, by creating segments (or similar groups of individuals). However, while traditional CRM segments may have been refreshed annually or quarterly, social segments can be created and applied in real-time. Thus, data and consumer segments are fresher and, when used in conjunction with smart marketing, marketers are better able to interest users and optimize marketing dollars spent.

A Multi-Touch Consumer Journey

The rise of real-time consumer profiling and segmentation is not the only shift created as a business adopts social CRM practices. Marketers must also recognize a fundamental shift in the consumer journey. While traditional CRM activities are primarily single path driven, social CRM must accept a multi-path consumer journey. Digital in many ways has foreshadowed this shift. This is evidenced by the introduction of things such as click path attribution and mixed media modeling. However, while digital tends to accept this type of analysis as “optional,” a social CRM practitioner must accept it as standard.

Why is this transition in perspective necessary? Every action will no longer directly lead to a conversion. Instead, an action might lead to an increased likeliness of conversion on a future brand marketing effort. Ignoring the cumulative exposure to social marketing will cheapen the true value placed on social efforts. This is a common struggle among marketing teams, as they must continually justify investment in a program whose results in whole cannot be directly attributed to sales.

When delivered at face value this may be hard to accept, so let’s apply this logic to a tangible example. How many times have you read reviews of a product, only to Google that item and purchase it from somewhere else? The review itself is a social piece of content, where the direct conversion might be associated with any number of digital marketing efforts (paid media, SEO, display banners, etc.). Still, the review dramatically impacted your purchase path and decision.

Overall social data provides a vast number of new possibilities in terms of targeting and audience segments, while relying on the solid and existing data framework Customer Relationship Management popularized. Social CRM goes beyond the inclusion of this data, and drive brands to think about how the traditional marketing plan, objectives, and metrics must evolve to support a multi-touch consumer purchase journey.

If you think getting your team to make a sizable investment in social media is hard, figuring out how to measure the business value of the program can be even harder. It’s easy to get caught up in the bits of positive social media praise, and forget to complete the analysis necessary to prove long-term effectiveness. As more and more businesses are asked to prove how “valuable” efforts have been, many feel confused as to what is the right approach.

If you’re an avid blog reader, you’ve likely seen a variety of debates over which is the best method of measurement. While there continues to be a very heated conversation around which approach is best, the potential of a mixed method approach is largely ignored. Rather then attempting to create new social media measurement schemas, companies are better served to consider an analysis approach that closely mirrors how more traditional media is being evaluated. Typically, there are three main types of analysis used to measure a traditional campaign's success:
  • Reach and Frequency
  • Financial
  • Affinity analysis
These measurements are easier to define, already readily accepted, and most importantly add credibility and trust to social media initiatives.

The below graphics provides a high level overview of these measurement categories including sample metrics, use, and what traditional approaches they nicely mirror. The following paragraphs will explore each in greater detail.


Type 1: Reach & Frequency Analysis

The most common and basic type of social media study is a basic Reach and Frequency analysis. This type of measurement relies solely on social media data and requires the least amount of integration into the over all business. It's also the easiest to obtain. This mode of measurement focuses on depth of message dispersion (reach) and the number of impressions an individual may have been exposed to (frequency). Reach and Frequency analysis may go so far as to assign an arbitrary dollar value to the active audience- or your fans, follower subscribers, shares and etc. Analysts use the size of the active audience and the number of engagements or views by this population to approximate a brand strength and potentially predicted future revenue. This analytic approach is similar to those used for media forecasting- such as TV, radio, and print- where direct attribution of sales is complex.

Since Reach and Frequency cannot directly attribute revenue earned, this type of analysis is best used as a means to measure initiatives that have goals focused around brand awareness. For many brands, staying top of mind is a critical goal of the marketing plan and thus there is less focus on immediate monetary return on investment. Basic measurements used in this type of analysis focus on acquired followership, brand messages shared, and initiative coverage in both traditional and non-traditional news sources. In addition to these volume metrics, a good reach and frequency analysis should explore sentiment and share of voice (in comparison to competitors) pre and post social media efforts.

Type 2: Financial Analysis

An often used approach to assess the success of a social media campaign is a Financial Analysis. The approach is the most difficult as requires various parts of the business to work together to calculate the return on investment (ROI) of a Social Media initiative. ROI analysis explores the tangible increased revenue, cost saves, and revenue protections that are a result of a social media investment and does not include predicted or future earnings. The overall analytical approach is much similar to methods used to measure the success of direct marketing, couponing, research and development, and infrastructure investments. There are two parts to this analysis: revenue earned and reduced costs. To track revenue earned, typically some type of code or tag is used to track an individual from a social media property through the purchase cycle. Since a customer will likely move through various web properties and can potentially convert both on and off line, this type of analysis requires a thorough knowledge of social property, web, and database analytics. To track reduced costs, analysis must be done to understand how social media has reduced customer service, crisis, and research spend. Since information must be collected across various business silos to accurately calculate cost reduction, often this portion of the analysis is only completed for large-scale efforts and programs.

Financial analysis is the often used to gauge the success of purchase driven or new customer acquisition campaigns. For many brands, social media has extended beyond a simple channel to broadcast and engage with fan; it has evolved into a potential revenue channel. Thus, these marketers desire to better understand what does and does not work within this space. Boundaries cannot be understood with out the ability to test and learn from the results. Therefore, a good financial analysis not only looks at the net revenue, but also explores how different populations respond (for example existing v. new customers) to the channel and how effective different tactics were in creating revenue both immediately and over time.

Type 3: Affinity Analysis

The third type of analysis attempts to measure the effectiveness of a social media campaign by the increase in satisfaction of new and existing customers. Affinity analysis is the furthest removed from actual financial results and instead focuses on the ability of the brand to retain existing customers. Similar to methods used to measure a company’s consumer presence over all, this type of analysis tends to focus primarily on service, relevancy of promotions, and a business’s ability to communicate clearly. The most prolific type of this analysis in wide use is Net Promoter Score or NPS. NPS measures how likely current clients are to recommend the business' services or products to others. This analysis is most common in service industries where long-term relationships are the backbone of sustainability.

With this metric's obvious focus on measuring relationships, this method is best used to measure the effectiveness of retention or service-related efforts in Social Media. For many brands it is far less expensive to keep an existing customer than to acquire a new one; Affinity Analysis a keystone is helping to assess what efforts are an aren’t working. Instead of focusing on raw sentiment or follow counts, a strong affinity analysis looks at customer recommendations of brand or it’s products, ratings and reviews, and as well as other social media feedback sources. While the overall analysis provides raw data on the brand performance and health, a good Affinity analysis is usually also partnered with solid qualitative feedback on areas for improvement and celebration.

What approach do you find works best in your business? What challenges do you have with social media measurement? Please share your thoughts in comments.

The below graphic sums up my worldview of what successful social media looks like. Social success is achieved when a value exchange occurs. A value exchange implies both parties find something of worth in an effort, which also means success is therefore fundamentally split. Content is a catchall term for “something created” and can be used to mean everything from a post to an experience. Taking action is likewise broad; it can refer to standard social engagement all the way to the ultimate end goal- conversion.


When we break down all the metrics, all the reports, and all of the bags of jargon that get thrown around, social success boils down to this. Technically, one could even argue that success in any communication is now achieved in this way. Social content has morphed the way we view traditional advertising and marketing efforts and with the increased number of messages in market, consumers generally demand more.

The above theory requires a brand to evaluate initiatives through two lens, and thus must define success for both groups. This isn’t easy- especially when trying to define satisfaction for an outside group. It’s also tempting to throw away ROI metrics, especially when they are so hard to track and are frankly “less fun.” However doing so ironically creates an imbalance in both the consumer and business value.

One-Side Optimization = Value Cannibalization

Now the most common flaw when creating a measurement program for social is that we assume a single metric can fulfill a dual variable equation. Focusing on a single perspective forces the analysis to be lopsided and inaccurate. Additionally, a single focus social program tends to optimize for low-value, quick returns vs. a high value, continual returns. If you optimize for one metric, you limit potential returns from your program.

If brand optimize too much on company value, metrics tend to be solely revenue or cost-save driven. These metrics can dehumanize social efforts as consumers are now viewed as just transaction placers. Revenue centered programs often resort to tactics such as: couponing, sweepstakes, sponsored content and overly frequent messaging. Media is often delivered as cheaply as possible and community size is valued over community health. While these efforts often drive an immediate bottom line, their actual consumer value is quite shallow. They fail to provide a way for users to meaningfully relate to the brand and alienate (and in someway prevent) influencers from practicing brand advocacy. In essence, they train consumers to view the brand properties as just a digital Saturday mailer replacement. More importantly, they often force companies into a state of continual discounting or promotion.

On the other hand optimizing solely for engagement can be just as detrimental. Consumer value based metrics create a “no holds barred” view of social, and perpetuate the likeliness of social media crisis. Programs that optimize for consumers too heavily tend to create click-bait content. I like to use the “It’s National Made Up Holiday Not At All Relevant to Your Brand Day!” as a perfect example of this. Usually media created is beautiful, but lacks a call to action or purpose. As result, programs are inundating and expensive as the brand is forced to try to be “everything to everyone.”

Creating a Dual Measurement Program

The real magic is realized when each variable of the equation is weighted equally. Money is channeled in ways that builds both immediate and long-term business results, that also generate consumer value. Business value creates context so that a brand knows where to focus building consumer focused efforts.

The Result? A brand becomes everything to their most valuable customer and interesting to everyone else.

Which is more important: engagement or reach?

I was in a meeting this week and this classic social media debate reared its head once again. This tired, but still very much unresolved, discussion seems to be as popular and indeterminable as defining which came first- the chicken or egg. It might be confusing as to why this debate even exists, clearly both metrics are important. That said, for activities such as paid media, it’s nearly impossible to optimize for both metrics simultaneously.

The pro-engagement faction argues that these metrics prove consumption through action. The user has processed the information and shown this by providing a reaction. Of course, different engagements show different levels of depth.

With a “like” the reaction might be more in support of a user or the subject matter. For example, I like nearly all of Chelsea Marti’s statuses, even if I don’t read them fully; I simple adore and want to support her. A “comment” requires a consumer to process the shared information and then respond to it. This is obviously a deeper and more tangible consumption than a “like”. Lastly, a “share” requires a user to both process and connect with the content. By sharing the post the user is publicly expressing their belief that the content is important for some reason. Note: content can be important for both negative and positive reasons.

Engagement makes consumption quantifiable, which is comfortable. However these metrics fail to quantify the large portion of users who consume content every day that are engagement resistant. Their lack of engagement could be because of personal preference, circumstance, content topic matter or one of many other reasons. To illustrate this I like to use the age-old tampon example. Many women have sought content related to feminine hygiene products. However, no matter how informative and helpful this information was, it’s likely women chose not to broadcast their tampon discovery expedition. Does that make the content they consumed less valuable? Absolutely not.

Jacob Neilsen in 2006 released a Participation Inequality study that to this day should be required reading for any digital analytics geek. Out of this research was born the two pyramids shown below. They outline the average make up of any social media audience and community engagement.


Neilsen’s work is profound because it illustrated, quantifiably for the first time why engagement metrics are such a dangerous beast. Measuring and enhancing efforts by engagement only, drives your program to optimize for your most active 1% and practically ignores your silent consumers.

It’s important to note that this doesn’t make engagement metrics bad practice. These types metrics are best are helping shape and define what your top engagers respond to. Tracking them over time can also help establish patterns in content and community. That said, a metrics framework is fairly weak if it’s relies solely on engagement measurements.


We live in a time where data and its collection are pervasive in nearly every action we take. Our smart phones track our location. Our bracelets track our heartbeat. Soon, pills will even track the molecular composition of our bodies. We are just the very beginning of what will be a data waterfall.

The above all represent types of passive data collection. This type of data collection occurs without any overt consumer interaction and generally includes capturing any data possible given the device type. Passive data isn't new. The age-old (and often hated) cookie is an excellent working example. A cookie captures and transmits your Internet history as you browse the web, running endlessly until expiration or deletion. However newer forms of passive data sharing are slightly more concerning.

A cookie's reach is digitally limited and restricted to only content you choose to consume. However a smart pill or a wearable technology device can collect data about people they don't consciously know about themselves. For example, by pairing location with heartbeat analysts could hypothetically track which neighborhoods people are most afraid of. However, participants are not in control of their heartbeat or perhaps even understand that physical reaction is occouring.

Dartmouth University students recently created an iphone app that leveraged built in sensors to passively collect data about the owner’s daily activities.

"[Using] the device's microphone, accelerometer, light sensor and location detectors… sensors automatically collect information on a variety of factors, such as the amount of time users slept, the number of conversations they engaged in and other social activities."

They then ran this data against studies on mental health to predict the owner’s “state of mind.” The intentions of this data were noble; the team wanted to isolate individuals struggling with depression or other mental health related issues and proactively get them help. That said, I am not sure I want Nordstrom’s to know when I am depressed; I am not sure I could survive the credit card build.

What happens when this data makes it into the way businesses make decisions about who you are, what you want, and more importantly what you will buy?

Consumers need to be at the forefront of how their data is used and aware of the trade offs of using new technology. For example, a consumer might feel comfortable sharing a vast amount of data about themselves to receive more effective cancer treatment. On the other hand, it's likely most consumers wouldn't feel comfortable with that same data being used to sell them dish soap.

Net/Net: We need better regulation and consumer awareness of what data is being collected, how it is being stored, and most importantly how it is being used.

Advocacy seems to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue these days. The industry has become bludgeoned with the need for "influencers" and the ability to activate sub -communities through their thought leaders. However, few have defined what an advocate, influencer or thought leader actually is. Even fewer have come up with way to assess and evaluate an influencers value to the overall health of the brand. The words "advocacy" and "influence" have become at times interchangeable as folks have become caught in the value proposition, but lost in terms of how to execute and measure against that vision.

The current vision is dichotomized: social media participants are either valuable or not. This perspective thus creates a loss of opportunity for both the brand and their target consumers. The brand must compete with a pool of other brands for the “best” individuals, while the consumer is presented with a lack of influencer variety. ‘Influential” individuals receive the major share of all product relationships as long as they maintain a dominant level of followership.

The issues in the current market definition of influence boil down to 3 key points:
  1. Advocates/ influencers are selected based on a singular, inconsistent and often polarizing metrics
  2. Assessing an individual's worth to a program over time is challenging and myopic
  3. Top influencers make up a disproportionate amount of online brand conversations
The current market approach to analyzing influencers/advocates could and should be redesigned. Below you’ll find one humble nerdy girl’s perspective on how to build a better, more effective, and enduring influencer + advocacy measurement program.

First, users should be scored on a two key criteria: value + volume.
  1. Value: the amount the author’s community values the content or interactions the author creates. The measurement for value can vary by the type of community you are targeting, but things like engagement, readership and impressions might be used as expressions of value
  2. Volume: How often does this individual positively engage with or mention the brand currently without sponsorship
Second, the above value can then be used to create a scatter plot of a brand social community. Quadrants can then be defined. The result is an easy to read and interpret visual I like to call the advocacy matrix.

The Advocacy Matrix can naturally be split into 4 quadrants (what statistician doesn’t love a good quadrant)
  1. Influencer: High community value, low brand volume
  2. Advocate: High community value, high brand volume
  3. Participant: Low community value, low brand volume
  4. Friend: Low community value, high brand volume

The above architecture creates a data-driven approach for assessing the current state, planning for investment, as well as a means for tracking a program’s success. For example, brands can create an overall content approach, outreach and goal structure for each quadrant. Further more they can evaluate influencer and advocacy objectives by exploring questions such as:
  1. How can we push influencers to become advocates?
  2. How do we help our advocates maintain community relevance?
  3. How do we empower our friends to ensure continual engagement?
  4. How do we increase the number of individuals who participate, while driving some users to also engage more frequently?
In short, the Advocacy Matrix allows brands to create a multifaceted assessment of influence and related community health over time. It does however have it's own flaws. A pure quantitative approach is most effective when used in conjunction with regular qualitative community assessments.












It has reached the end.....

Amazing find with the old blog. All of the tragic content aside (and it is tragic), she's simply a horrible writer. It's all so forced and extra. In addition to dropping a couple hundred pounds she could stand to trim the pointless fat from her sentences. They read like the work of an articulate but obnoxious eighth grader.

addition to dropping a couple hundred pounds she could stand to trim the pointless fat from her sentences. They read like the work of an articulate but obnoxious eighth grader.
I'm too lazy to look now, but didn't Anna also write a book at some point? I feel like around right before she left Spinklr, she either wrote a book or was saying that she was going to.

* edit, she did write a book
Has anyone here taken one for the team and actually read it?

Thomas Eugene Paris

Sexy, in a Howdy Doody sort of way.
A couple of things I noticed while skimming her screeds:

1. It seems like she already had the epiphany about her weight destroying her health, and she definitely realized that she's headed down the same path as her mother and sister. I thought the blog post in which she mentioned hating her body for the first time only after losing 80 lbs was massively (har har) illuminating. She knows she has to lose weight if she wants to make it to 55. She knows how to do it. She tried it, she had some success, but she didn't like it, so she quit. To me, this is way more grim than my previous assumption that she just didn't know she was repeating the same behaviors that killed her mom and sister.

2. Holy fuck, this bitch is VAIN. She also writes like someone who doesn't read.

3. She is much, much bigger than either her mother or sister appear to have been.

A couple of things I noticed while skimming her screeds:

1. It seems like she already had the epiphany about her weight destroying her health, and she definitely realized that she's headed down the same path as her mother and sister. I thought the blog post in which she mentioned hating her body for the first time only after losing 80 lbs was massively (har har) illuminating. She knows she has to lose weight if she wants to make it to 55. She knows how to do it. She tried it, she had some success, but she didn't like it, so she quit. To me, this is way more grim than my previous assumption that she just didn't know she was repeating the same behaviors that killed her mom and sister.

2. Holy fuck, this bitch is VAIN. She also writes like someone who doesn't read.

3. She is much, much bigger than either her mother or sister appear to have been.
I think us knowing she does know better (that obesity kills, that weight loss is doable with calorie counting) is a bit.. haunting. Her drinking and binge eating (she has a completely unused kitchen as an adult and struggles making cake box mix wtf) maybe is an attempt to smother the feelings.
But the act can only go on so long. The house thing is a new pretence at 'adulting' that will just accentuate her utter weirdness.


Zapped to the extreme
True & Honest Fan
Great job, thanks for sharing. She’s a terrible writer, it’s like she learned everything she knows about writing from one of those modern-day bubbly girl romances, or like a Hallmark movie. She has phrases she likes-can’t remember them but they have the word dreams at the end. “Suger rush exaltation with frosting dreams,” or “bright patterned silk with umbrella twirl dreams.” Paraphrasing, of course, but still ...

She had to let us know her romantic NY date was a black man:when he asked or her number she was going to give her “chocolate dream” her phone number, her mailbox number, her key code to her apartment-all the number. (But apparently not pi.”) she several times mentioned ethnicity where it was unnecessary. You work in tech? Yeah, there will be East Indians, it’s not worth saying.

She was also discussing a fantasy of a sky writer announcing something to the world on a clear blue horizon. Horizon, really?

Anna was never as pretty as she seems to think-the top shelf’s of BBWs she said,?9r maybe the filet mignonette. Honestly, she did look prettier than now-youth and not being disgustingly obese has a way of doing that. But she’s generously called plain now, and not much has changed.

If her book’s on kindle and see if I can figure out a way to, ya know....


Gotta admit totally freaked out over the avatar and profile changes and thought I got hacked. Forgot it was April Fools Day!

So I do have access to her book via unlimited i can check it out. And i do have more to add today this entire rabbit hole happened because of FPH and GuruGossip yet i forgot to talk about them.

Give me a few to adjust to seeing this werid ass anime avatar and I'll get a post going.


I tweet as Jude on my kiwi profile
Thank you for the tasty researched long posts about her blog, Syo!
In current news, she posted an IG story with a babbling apology about her privilege for announcing winning her house bid. So she's acting humble. Maybe her house bid fell through, or she decided not to share her housing process with the internet anymore.

I can't archive stories videos. PL: I am sad I can't learn from her dumb housing and mortgaging mistakes/ journey.


Thank you for the tasty researched long posts about her blog, Syo!
In current news, she posted an IG story with a babbling apology about her privilege for announcing winning her house bid. So she's acting humble. Maybe her house bid fell through, or she decided not to share her housing process with the internet anymore.

I can't archive stories videos. PL: I am sad I can't learn from her dumb housing and mortgaging mistakes/ journey.
It's cool, I use the StorySaver site usually to get instagram stuff so if ya ever need to archive that works pretty well.


Crepidodera fulvicornis

I got a woman as big as a house, yes sir
Great job, thanks for sharing. She’s a terrible writer, it’s like she learned everything she knows about writing from one of those modern-day bubbly girl romances, or like a Hallmark movie. She has phrases she likes-can’t remember them but they have the word dreams at the end. “Suger rush exaltation with frosting dreams,” or “bright patterned silk with umbrella twirl dreams.” Paraphrasing, of course, but still ...

She had to let us know her romantic NY date was a black man:when he asked or her number she was going to give her “chocolate dream” her phone number, her mailbox number, her key code to her apartment-all the number. (But apparently not pi.”) she several times mentioned ethnicity where it was unnecessary. You work in tech? Yeah, there will be East Indians, it’s not worth saying.

She was also discussing a fantasy of a sky writer announcing something to the world on a clear blue horizon. Horizon, really?

Anna was never as pretty as she seems to think-the top shelf’s of BBWs she said,?9r maybe the filet mignonette. Honestly, she did look prettier than now-youth and not being disgustingly obese has a way of doing that. But she’s generously called plain now, and not much has changed.

If her book’s on kindle and see if I can figure out a way to, ya know....
I got recommended (thanks KF) her book on audible, read by her, with 5star ratings, praising her for “genuine and humane hiccups in reading,” but I already went over my allowed exchanges, and I sure don't want to give her any money by standard process.


It's cool, I use the StorySaver site usually to get instagram stuff so if ya ever need to archive that works pretty well.

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Total non-apology. Just excuses for her tone deaf attempts at relatability. She says sometimes her experiences 'dont translate to the internet very well'. She's not humble or self aware, she still thinks she's the Mary sue main character of Life The Movie. She just doesn't want to be called out anymore. Looks and sounds like her irritation with the lack of praise and asspats is bubbling just below the surface.
It's cool, I use the StorySaver site usually to get instagram stuff so if ya ever need to archive that works pretty well.

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Why does she keep saying she’s been looking secretly for months. Bitch you’ve been dropping the realtor word in your stories here and there for months so there was nothing secret about it.
She must do quick videos while drunk and completely forget them the next day.

Karl der Grosse

Is a mentally NORMAL man.
True & Honest Fan
I used to call our CEO “Papa Ragy” and our then COO “Mama Murali”
She should have been fired or reprimanded for that alone. This is a manipulation technique designed to make the manipulator seem closer to the authority figures than they really are. It's meant to plant the idea in the bosses' heads that the manipulator is really more like family than an employee, and that you should let things slide, just like you would do for actual family members. If she was doing this in public, it was meant to signal to the other employees just how close a relationship she had with the bosses. Doing so was both a brag and a subtle warning to her coworkers that it would be best not to oppose her or narc on her behavior or work errors.