applecat's Post Ranking Service! -

applecat

Prettiest Ween
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hard-weening members of the Cwcki, is the new ratings system getting you down? Are your thought-provoking trolling plans being mislabeled and slandered as the workings of an A-Log? Are you tired of watching the Dumb and Autistic rates pile up when you know you deserve Winners and Friendlies? Well, fear no longer, because I am here to offer a solution to all of your new found rating heartaches!

That's right, for the low price of six easy payments of $29.95 (wow what a bargain!), I will personally go through your entire post history and label your posts with the rating of your choice! I offer a variety of packages catered to every discerning member's taste, such as the Weening Winner special and the Cwcki Creatives Combo as well as my personal favorite, the Asspatcat Deluxe!

But don't take my word for it! Take a look at these true and honest testimonials from my many satisfied customers!

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"I was deeply triggered when my plan to go to Chris' house dressed as Batman was labeled Autistic. But thanks to applecat, at least one person thinks I'm a Winner!" -Hunger Mythos

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"Sometimes Chris' ass looks puffy, sometimes it looks square, but with applecat's help my posts are ALWAYS Informative." -Mauvman Shuffleboard

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"But I mean, what IS going to happen to Chris when Barb dies?" -bungholio

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"Only fifty cents for each rating?* You'd have to be Slow in the Mind not to!" -CatParty
*actual cost ratio of rating per post may vary

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"Señora Applecat, este pinche idea es muy estúpido. Eres un idiota." -The Hunter

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"I am now the Friendliest member of the forum." -Foulmouth


Don't wait, act today! Soon you too can join the illustrious members of the Cwckiforums circlejerk Most Popular and Witty Members! But act fast because supplies are limited and a deal like this one is too beautiful to last!
 
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