Apple's App Store art is fucking horrendous | Flat art / Alegria / Corporate Memphis - click for feet

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Buy dat hell
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I stan the based UFO for abducting that globohomo abomination. :semperfidelis:
Very telling that the text reads like this is a children's story.

Apparently this guy is actually supposed to be some sort of artist. Unsurprisingly his junk is corporate and emotionless.
https://armandcordero.com/

Most of it anyway.

At least his older stuff had some effort put in.

But I have to assume he had little to do with actually making this machine.

Sadly this guy actually still gets work doing art like what was from that instagram.
https://armandcordero.com/Dragons-Teaching
This at least has some detail even if it lacks style, but is a noticable downgrade from his art even from the mid 2010s.
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Now look at what he makes.

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The only thing that he likely even 'made' here is the ridiculously proportioned man in the same vein as that shitty instagram story.
Here's his portfolio.
https://armandcordero.com/Portfolio-2021
Most of the higher quality work (from his earlier years) he only had a small part in.

Art college. Not even once.
 

Idiocy Abroad

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Toolbox

Buy dat hell
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Sammy looks like she was drawn by an 8 year old. I can't believe that the guy behind this is supposed to be a professional artist. I'm kind of surprised at this point they don't commission schools for art since it would probably be cheaper than hiring these people.
If what is featured in the above "artist"s gallery is most of his work, I wonder what in the hell these people are doing with their life 99% of the time. Probably being politics spergs on twitter.
 

Kosher Dill

Potato Chips
True & Honest Fan
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Hat tip to @Eternal Gopnik for pointing to this: one Laura Breiling is a goldmine of "Worst Of Globohomo" art.
Her work has been published in places like Google, the Washington Post and the New Yorker, and is apparently not satirical in the slightest.

This masterpiece could be one half of a modern Hogarthian diptych: "Based Street and Woke Lane".

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Presented without comment:

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There are hundreds more on her site, many of which transgress all boundaries of taste. God help us.
 

Discourteous Discourse

¡THIS CHEESE IS BURNING ME!™
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Hat tip to @Eternal Gopnik for pointing to this: one Laura Breiling is a goldmine of "Worst Of Globohomo" art.
Her work has been published in places like Google, the Washington Post and the New Yorker, and is apparently not satirical in the slightest.

This masterpiece could be one half of a modern Hogarthian diptych: "Based Street and Woke Lane".

View attachment 2583023

Presented without comment:

View attachment 2583017

There are hundreds more on her site, many of which transgress all boundaries of taste. God help us.
What's with the flag? When was the yellow triangle and circle added? I can't keep up with that ugly thing anymore.

I noticed she really likes to add "clit", "vulva", and "ACAB" to a lot of her globohomo slop. From one woman to another: cut that out, it's embarrassing. Oh, wait, it gets worse...
corona_summer_web (1).jpg
Mask tan lines, lady with a shaved head and ugly tattoo, body hair, and a book on "how to squirt". You know, this kind of piss poor representation is why Ls, Gs, and Bs escape to the farms to vent about this kind of pandering. In this case I'm talking about the alphabet people who don't make their sexuality their one and only personality trait. Unfortunately, there are fags who can't shut up about what fags they are.

0432_Berliner_Zeitung_Catcalling_web-1280x768.jpg
This one is titled "Catcalling", but they're alligator men, and they look like they're having a good boozy time. This was a very stupid way to try to demonize men.

0404_Washpost_web-1280x1053.jpg
"Pandemic Pastimes" because no one had to worry about getting shit-canned, paying rent, buying groceries, getting medications, figuring out online classes for their kids, helping their kids deal with depression that stemmed from being forced to stay inside and away from their friends for a long time, a rise in domestic abuse cases, increased mental illness, and so on. No, it's all fun times, using a drone to eat grapes while giant gourds grow from the ceiling. Some of these globohomo pieces are just eyesore cluttered messes begging to be viewed as whimsical. And yes I am MATI.

Other pieces include portrayals of mothers as magical beings that can do everything and don't need no man (while other images, whether intentional or not, depict mothers as lazy slobs with zero concern for the safety and cleanliness of their child), a ton of mixed race couples, ugly obese lesbians, menstruation, REEEEE DRUMPPPFFFF, REEEEE MEN, a hatred for the 1% unless they're dark skinned female politicians, and the attempt to portray women as strong and confident while failing and making them look like smug bitches.

rebellion_web-788x800.jpgwomanspreading_web-1280x960.jpg

Without Googling Laura Breiling, I'm going to bet all my fake Kiwi Bux that she's very fair skinned, straight, and has never lived outside of a white area.
 

The Lawgiver

THE LONGER THE ICON OF SIN IS ON EARTH THE STRONGE
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This one is titled "Catcalling", but they're alligator men, and they look like they're having a good boozy time. This was a very stupid way to try to demonize men.
Trying to make men look bad by making them cool funny cartoon alligators dancing and drinking as a woman does the virgin walk past them is fucking so against all logic and reason the person hired must either have secretly known what they were doing or the universe is truly an ironic masterpiece to produce moments such as these. It's called "catcalling" but there's literally no cats involved,what the actual fuck? Why isn't it called "gator party?" or some shit? Politics brain poisoning is truly a hell one must be wary of obtaining for internet clout.
 

Eternal Gopnik

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Without Googling Laura Breiling, I'm going to bet all my fake Kiwi Bux that she's very fair skinned, straight, and has never lived outside of a white area.
Well, xhe's definitely white. Looks mannish, but that could be because xhe's German. As for straight, I'm sure she at least claims to be "queer" even if xhe's never touched a woman.

Screenshot 2021-10-01 at 06-48-48 Laura Breiling - Google Search.png
 

ditto

Don't worry about it
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Other pieces include portrayals of mothers as magical beings that can do everything and don't need no man (while other images, whether intentional or not, depict mothers as lazy slobs with zero concern for the safety and cleanliness of their child), a ton of mixed race couples, ugly obese lesbians, menstruation, REEEEE DRUMPPPFFFF, REEEEE MEN, a hatred for the 1% unless they're dark skinned female politicians, and the attempt to portray women as strong and confident while failing and making them look like smug bitches.

This is why progressives have no problem with Islam. To them, it's an aesthetic. Within a generation, they'll be vaping, drinking and getting abortions all while wearing a burka.

muslim_hipsters_Laura-Breiling-AIGA-Page.jpg
 

Protistology

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Trying to make men look bad by making them cool funny cartoon alligators dancing and drinking as a woman does the virgin walk past them is fucking so against all logic and reason the person hired must either have secretly known what they were doing or the universe is truly an ironic masterpiece to produce moments such as these. It's called "catcalling" but there's literally no cats involved,what the actual fuck? Why isn't it called "gator party?" or some shit? Politics brain poisoning is truly a hell one must be wary of obtaining for internet clout.
This. The Sobeks are drawn normally and look like they're having fun.

Proof that the Left hates "normal" and "happiness. Got to strip the Kelipot.
 

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