Are there any careers/jobs that Chris would excel at? -

[The Dude]

What are some forms of employment that Chris could do and do well, maybe even enjoy?

 

[Stuff and Things]

Male Prostitute... oh wait, you said "do well AND enjoy" not just enjoy... damn, nice question...

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

Nothing.

Seriously.

Chris has no desire to work or do anything and as such he has virtually no passions other than whining about trolls and shit. It'd be like asking what job a 4 year old would be good at. They don't have enough life experience to make even a general assumption about what they could do when they get older. Chris has very little experience doing anything other than sitting on his ass all day and whining.

He'd have to become something resembling a functioning human before we could answer this question.

 

[For The Internet]

Is there a job where you're paid to play vidya all day?

I don't mean testing games, because you have to write about them.
I don't mean reviewing games, because you have to write about them.

Just... sitting on your ass and playing video games. That is the only job Chris could possibly do and enjoy and it's not a job for obvious reasons. You add even the slightest element of work above 'play vidya' and that is a dealbreaker for Chris.

 

[Pikonic]

Gravedigger.
It requires little thinking, Chris would also get a good workout.
Video Game Tester
Chris would learn a lot with the right training. He also obsesses about little details and could find little bugs, he'd enjoy the hell out of it.
Canadian Border Control
How much can they actually do? Stick him in Montana and he makes 70k/yr (srsly) doing jack.

Aw, who am I kidding? The answer is no.

 

[Some JERK]

Could? Sure. He could do any number of menial, repetitive tasks. (Because autism and Legos)

Would? Not on your life.

 

[Mr. 0]

Chris could mine bitcoins. I think that shit is reliant on how much electricity you use, and he could just let the motherfucker sit there and barely lift a finger. At least until SNORE LACKS is all "CHRISSHUN TURN DAT DAMN THING AWFF CUZ 'LECTRICITY COST MORR THAN GAS! IF YOU DON'T ALL TAKE AWAY YER VIDYA, NOW COME AND WRAP UP MAWMAW'S HOLEY HINEY!"

Could be way off though, I skimmed through the documentation.

 

[Ignatius]

Rodeo Clown.

 

[A-№1]

Rodeo Clown.

Rodeo barrel.

 

[pickleniggo]

At this point, no, not really. There's nothing he could do that wouldn't require attention and he would not conform to work breaks.

 

[exball]

What Chris does now.

 

[Kamen Rider Black RX]

What about one of those guys who make high level characters in RPG's and auctions them off? Granted, they wouldn't be any good and blacklisted from all the guilds.

 

[Ignatius]

What Chris does now.

Chris is already underqualified for that.

Peter Principle at its most rudimentary level.

 

[WhiteKnight]

He could be a medical volunteer, like a lab monkey.

 

[MrTroll]

Welfare queen.

 

[___]

It would need to be an easy job that is basically just busy work. It would also need to be a job where he only has to interact with one person, his boss. Anything where he has to interact with the public or other coworkers would result in tard rages because of the "misunderstandings and mislabeling." It would need to be part time, even though he has nothing else going on. He would need to cut his hair and dress better. At bare minimum back to short hair and "the classic"

 

[Globe]

"World's biggest baby" sideshow attraction at one of those dust bowl-era traveling carnivals. I'm only being kind of facetious. Check out those pictures he sent Ivy of him wearing the butt-garments and licking his medallion. Between the relative absence of body hair and the flabby, disproportionate body, he really does look like an overgrown toddler and the diaper looks totally appropriate on him. Combine that with , his high-pitched voice and his weird speech impediment that often trespasses on infant-babble, and you get a pretty fucking convincing act.

 

[___]

The more you think about it, Bob was smart to get him on the tugboat. It was either that or have this non-contributing man-child in the house leeching off them.

 

[pickleniggo]

"World's biggest baby" sideshow attraction at one of those dust bowl-era traveling carnivals. I'm only being kind of facetious. Check out those pictures he sent Ivy of him wearing the butt-garments and licking his medallion. Between the relative absence of body hair and the flabby, disproportionate body, he really does look like an overgrown toddler and the diaper looks totally appropriate on him. Combine that with , his high-pitched voice and his weird speech impediment that often trespasses on infant-babble, and you get a pretty fucking convincing act.

You forgot his tantrums - totally appropriate for the job!

 

[Lady Houligan]

No, because he's conditioned to be a lazy bastard at this point. But should some miracle occur and he wakes up tomorrow and decides he needs to get a job, I really think the only thing he'd be cut out for is warehouse work or stocking shelves overnight, in an environment where it's just him and his task.

Although this raises another question: even if he did want to work at this point, would Barb let him? Or would she try to guilt trip him into staying home to "take care of" her?