Are They Dead Yet? - Because sometimes, you just want someone to tell you if a cow is dead.

[Broken Pussy]

Let’s start with a status update on some of our more endangered cows or cow relatives.

Ashley Isaacs? Not dead yet. She continues to survive on a diet of nothing but the souls of other girls with anorexia.

Tammy Slaton? She okay.

Luna Slater? Her inevitable death by overdose has yet to happen.

Papa Wilcher? Hasn’t had another heart attack yet, but when he does, there will be funeral selfies.

The Hartley meat puppets? Gone to the great puppetry in the sky.

Jahi McMath? Graduated to Full-Dead.

Lainey? Hasn’t committed suicide yet, but when she does, expect Onision to use that shit to get more YouTube views.

ALR has cancer. Her death could happen sooner rather than later.

Chantal has the beetus and needs a walker. We may get at least an amputation out of her before she shuffles off this mortal coil. Or rolls, anyway.

 

[Null]

Ashley Isaacs? Not dead yet. She continues to survive on a diet of nothing but the souls of other girls with anorexia.

thank you for lodging my lichdom theory into canon

 

[Broken Pussy]

thank you for lodging my lichdom theory into canon

You’re welcome. It’s the only logical explanation.

 

[Kiwi Jeff]

Why are BP people so connected to death?

Jahi McMath? Still dead, but Mama Nails is continuing with her efforts to use that corpse to get some Michael Kors purse money.

I almost feel like you made this thread just to make this joke

 

[ES 148]

Chance Carmichael?

 

[Broken Pussy]

Why are BP people so connected to death?

I almost feel like you made this thread just to make this joke

This thread serves a legitimate purpose in our community, because some of our cows are barely hanging in there. Or they’re already dead. Or they might as well just go ahead and die because they are not even cute, and they’ll never be able to utter the words of our beloved Buffy Summers, “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty.”

Why are we so connected to death? Because we’re crazy bitches.

 

[Broken Pussy]

Chance Carmichael?

Not a BP cow, so this may require some research. I’ll get back to you.

 

[ES 148]

Not a BP cow, so this may require some research. I’ll get back to you.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see the forum this was in ;-;

 

[Broken Pussy]

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see the forum this was in ;-;

It’s okay. Chance was alive at Christmas and has apparently lost weight. So I’m going to say he’s still alive now.

 

[Placebo]

It's unfortunate that one must suffer to be beautiful and yet, they miss the fucking mark entirely.

 

[heathercho]

Personally, I'm waiting for Truthfully Trisha to be killed by Pepper. Or "run over" like Jackie Chan again.

 

[Broken Pussy]

Personally, I'm waiting for Truthfully Trisha to be killed by Pepper. Or "run over" like Jackie Chan again.

I’ll keep an eye on her “dead or alive” status, too.

 

[DangerousGas]

TFVG? I remain amazed that she's survived thus far, TBH.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

I checked this thread in great anticipation that partypantsnyc's liver had finally given out. Apparently not, even though she seems to have gone radio silent lately. But 2018 is still young, so one never knows.

 

[Broken Pussy]

TFVG? I remain amazed that she's survived thus far, TBH.

Not dead. Still ugly.

 

[IV 445]

What about Phil?

 

[Broken Pussy]

What about Phil?

He’s alive, as far as I know, but probaly hung over.

 

[Mr. Poker in the Front Liquor in the Rear]

The new year just started. Give it some time.

 

[Kugelsak Kastengrus 6th]

Natty hasn't offed herself yet.

 

[Skeletor]

Not BP, but is Nick Bate dead yet?