Army References -

[plenkblenk]

Hey everyone, I'm here looking for advice.

I don't have any friends or relationships with people in general, but I'm trying to join the army, and for a job that requires a certain level of security clearance. One requirement for the position is three character references that go back at least 5 years. Since I don't have anyone I can really put down (and family doesn't count), could I just make up three people, buy burner phones, and then put on a fake voice for each of them? I don't know what sort of things they ask the references or if I'd get caught up in a lie.

 

[ditto]

I'm trying to join the army

Don't.

 

[Kirito]

Are you fat? The army doesnt like fatties.

 

[hundredpercent]

You should probably try to fix your life first.
Failing that, apply for something less demanding first.

 

[plenkblenk]

Are you fat? The army doesnt like fatties.

The recruiter said that I only need to lose like an inch off my waist to join, which is pretty doable in a couple weeks.

Don't.

But I can't find another job that pays as well.

 

[Kirito]

The recruiter said that I only need to lose like an inch off my waist to join, which is pretty doable in a couple weeks.

But I can't find another job that pays as well.

lol fat

 

[plenkblenk]

You should probably try to fix your life first.
Failing that, apply for something less demanding first.

I need a good-paying job to get my life together.

 

[Cristobal’s Colon]

The recruiter said that I only need to lose like an inch off my waist to join, which is pretty doable in a couple weeks.

But I can't find another job that pays as well.

Take what you can get, and move up. No autistic pyramid schemes.
edit: Also, learn to save money. It really isn't hard.

 

[hundredpercent]

I need a good-paying job to get my life together.

Get something boring, like doing maintenance on some equipment, then return to the US and do free college.

 

[plenkblenk]

Take what you can get, and move up. No autistic pyramid schemes.
edit: Also, learn to save money. It really isn't hard.

I try to save money by putting it in investments, but I've lost ~2k this year on crypto and penny stocks. The only stuff that's actually turned a profit is my money in the normal market.

 

[hundredpercent]

I try to save money by putting it in investments, but I've lost ~2k this year on crypto and penny stocks. The only stuff that's actually turned a profit is my money in the normal market.

Yes. Learn from your mistakes, don't do penny stocks. Money in the stock market grows on average 7% a year. More on good years, less on bad years. If anyone's talking about 20% a year, run.

You don't save money by putting it into investments. You save money by saving money, and invest money by investing your savings.

The position I'm looking at is the one I'm trying to turn into a career.

Get something without a clearance.

 

[Rafal Gan Ganowicz]

I try to save money by putting it in investments, but I've lost ~2k this year on crypto and penny stocks. The only stuff that's actually turned a profit is my money in the normal market.

The position I'm looking at is the one I'm trying to turn into a career.

You sound like a lazy, dishonest bag of shit. When I taught recruit courses, we'd all get together over beers at night and decide who was a POS and how we'd go about either driving them to quit or become a psych casualty. It was HORRIBLE for those we targetted.

Shitbags cost decent soldiers' lives. Fromwhat you're saying here, you are an immoral liabilty. Youshould NOT be in the Army. Go to college or something instead of endangering good men's lives.

 

[plenkblenk]

You sound like a lazy, dishonest bag of shit. When I taught recruit courses, we'd all get together over beers at night and decide who was a POS and how we'd go about either driving them to quit or become a psych casualty. It was HORRIBLE for those we targetted.

Shitbags cost decent soldiers' lives. Fromwhat you're saying here, you are an immoral liabilty. Youshould NOT be in the Army. Go to college or something instead of endangering good men's lives.

I'm applying for a desk job, not a combat role.

 

[Rafal Gan Ganowicz]

I think that changing course on the recruiter might be a red flag. If I'm saying I don't want to do the initial position because I don't have anyone I can reference, he might think I'm a weirdo and deny me my application outright. Plus my associate's and the bachelor's I'm working on are both in the same field as the position in question, so that would make it even more suspicious to change.

I'm applying for a desk job, not a combat role.

Doesn't make your moral relativism and apparent lack of ethics any less dangerous to the boots on the ground. Careerism costs lives. Corruption costs lives. Theft costs lives. Asscovering in the command structure costs lives.
I'm not (really) trying to be mean here. Just sounds to me like you are not cut out for the level of responsibilty the Army demands.

 

[Curt Sibling]

Autistics are only allowed into the minefield-clearing regiment.

 

[plenkblenk]

Doesn't make your moral relativism and apparent lack of ethics any less dangerous to the boots on the ground. Careerism costs lives. Corruption costs lives. Theft costs lives. Asscovering in the command structure costs lives.
I'm not (really) trying to be mean here. Just sounds to me like you are not cut out for the level of responsibilty the Army demands.

I don't think that I can do too much damage to anyone when I'm just pushing paper around a desk. The army recruiter straight up told me that I should lie about having taken certain medication and smoking weed in the past.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Are you prepared for sex with men? It happens consensually in the army

 

[plenkblenk]

Are you prepared for sex with men? It happens consensually in the army

I thought that was the navy.

 

[The Shadow]

I'm applying for a desk job, not a combat role.

Pussy.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

I thought that was the navy.

Its both.
And im not shitposting either. There's always some form of gay sex that happens in the army and navy.