Asshole Neighbors - You know those guys

[Postal Dude]

I've been renting my second house out to people. It's a somewhat reliable way to make an extra 5 bucks every month once property taxes are all said and done. I've had a friend who was willing to help me manage the place and shit was great.

The guys that had been staying for the last few months were awesome, they'd pay rent on time and we got along just fine, and I never had to show up to make sure they hadn't busted the place. I wish I had, though. Eventually, they decided to move out so I went to do a routine check to make sure the place was habitable. I had to put on a respirator not ten minutes into the visit. Cat and dog hair matted the floors and was stuck in every crevice (I have really shitty pet allergies, hence the respirator) mingled with plentiful stains of many different colors. The smell could rival 14 Branchland Court, for indeed, there was a vast colony of mold proliferating on the walls and ceiling thanks to an air conditioning leak. That was ongoing for six months. Also, their legitimately :autism: son (I keep seeing parallels to the Chandlers here...) somehow tore out a huge section of the stairs' railing. I'll probably find more appalling shit when I take a more thorough inspection of the place.

They won't pay the damages and so I've spent my afternoon making frantic calls to home services to demo the wall in hopes of clearing out the mold. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to get the smell of cat shit and wet dog fur out.
And the real treat? They're renting another place when they move. Right next door to me.

TL;DR Shitty renters fucked up my house and Postal Dude is very angery. Anyone else had to deal with this shit? I guess these guys aren't my neighbors. This shit's just in a category of it's own. Still, what other obnoxious assholes are infesting your living spaces? How did you deal with 'em?

 

[millais]

Asshole tenants are the worst. For a while I was temping at an apartment complex, and most of their expenses came from replacing and repairing fixtures, plumbing, and surfaces that the tenants are constantly trashing. While I was there, one Mexican destroyed a brand new garbage disposal by trying to grind chicken bones with it, another clogged up an entire building's plumbing by pouring grease down the drains, a couple tenants intentionally damaged their apartments' refrigerators in hopes of getting them replaced with newer models, and some guy intentionally trashed his bathroom tiling for the same purpose.

It's a huge nightmare dealing with people like that, but there's not a whole lot you can do other than evict them and hope they don't trash what's left of the place out of spite when you serve them the notice.

In terms of personal neighbors, I once had a neighbor who was constantly singing or playing keyboard or guitar (he wasn't very good) at such a loud volume that I couldn't even drown it with my own music turned up to the max (it didn't help that I shared a wall with him). Nobody in the building could stand that guy, and we finally filed a noise complaint to the landlord and that asshole wannabe musician was banned from playing instruments at all hours of the day

 

[Pepito The Cat]

My family used to own a set of apartments in a condo building and we had a ton of different people coming in and out every few years.

But the worst neighbors were an elderly couple with a deadbeat, cocaine addict, 30 something son. They stopped paying after the guy finally moved 9 months into their contract to a rehab clinic. Apparently, the dude was giving them money for rent so they just stopped paying. When inquired, they just avoided the subject or claimed the money "was coming". 4 months of this and just when we were about to arrange the eviction with the bank sponsors, one day, they just vanished... along with the kitchen sink, the stove, the lead piping, the rail curtains, the toilet, the fucking wall paneling and copper wiring. I swear, the place looked like a WWI battlefield.

Apparently, their son found a new place for his parents and raided the apartment in one night. We couldn’t find them anywhere.

 

[Ruin]

I visit my grandmother pretty often because no one else gives a shit or bothers to and a couple months ago they were building a habitat for humanity house on her block and she told me she didn't want welfare trash living there because they'd ruin the neighborhood. I told her to give them a chance because I'd seen the people and it was a young mother and her two daughters. Fast forward three months and there are now four trashy looking guys living their in addition to the women who just sit in front of the house and drink all day, the street in front of the house now has an astonishing amount of trash dumped in it and the police show up at least twice a week dealing with drunken fights, domestic violence, drug dealing. I owe my grandmother an apology for being naive, her bigotry was 100% correct and warranted.

 

[Morose_Obesity]

I live in a building full of Mexicans, Arabs,a schizo single Mom whose kid is currently dating two different black dudes, and people so old they may drop dead on my tiny stairwell. Despite that, I'm pretty sure I'm the bad neighbor.

 

[OtterParty]

Spoiler: long image 1

Spoiler: long image 2

 

[Curt Sibling]

A few years back, I had some scummy welfare dudes renting the house next door. We had soccer-jersey-chav dad, insane (but sort of pleasant) mom, and the mega-brood of shitty mini-gollums.

My area is mostly bought homes (including mine) with elderly retired couples, who are slowly dying off and being replaced with paranoid robots who breeze-block their garden and read tabloids.
Anyway, these scummy dudes proceed to wreck their garden, smash their shed, and then one of their maggot-kids hurls an iron bar into my greenhouse, via a broken window. This won't fucking do.
Mad as hell, I marched next door, banged the letterbox, CID-stlye, and the male orc answers. "Whit issit, mate?", he says, trying to look tough. I am however a foot taller and displeased. I tell him one
of his kids smashed a window on my greenhouse, and I will be back in two hours with a new pane. I informed the troll I wanted £12 promptly on my return.

His response was: "How d'ye know it was my wean?" (wean is a glasgow term for kid) I told him not to fuck me about, and turned on my heel, leaving the spazzy standing on his doorstep.
On my return he paid up, and his little bastard was presented to give me a sullen apology. I felt real sadness that this tiny person's life had been destined for shitville from day one. It kills me.
As it happens, after a few months of these rancid goons, I was heading out one snowy morning and the guy who actually rented out the place told me the fine news that the bacterial family had
been kicked out for diddling the welfare authorities. I stated that I hoped their new living area was a wood chipper. I was a happy man that day. And my new neighbours are the nicest people.

 

[AnOminous]

I once had absolute white trash living next door and they were just vile and disgusting people. I once went outside to smoke a cigarette in the morning, as I smoked back then, and was greeted by the sight of their diapered baby with a dog fucking humping it and the "dad" was drinking a beer at 9 in the morning and laughing. I just went back inside and killed myself.

Well, I didn't actually but I wanted to.

 

[R.A.E.L.]

We had a white trash family living across the street from us when I was in high school. All day every day the teenage son would ride his loud-as-fuck motorbike up and down the street. The eldest daughter was the worst kind of person; I had the displeasure of overhearing her say the most disgusting and immature shit on the bus and I'm pretty sure she got pregnant at some point. Needless to say we ended up moving because of them.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

I had a neighbor who was running a dual Xanax selling operation and incall prostitution scenario. She also was a "nurse" to this super old guy who lived with her who she periodically banged/used for money. She would go on 2-3am rampages, high as a kite, ripping screens of the windows, throwing furniture around, jumping up and down like a toddler so hard the windows rattled (she was by no means small) and once throwing pizza off the balcony on to my car. The police were called often, and it got to a point where VICE were involved. She was selling Xanax to neighborhood high school kids as well as people trying to quit by going to clinics, and they had had enough. Problem was she kept refusing to answer the door when they came to arrest her, she would literally be screaming her head off then disappear inside the second she saw the cop car rounding the corner. Luckily one night the old dude answered the door while she was in the bathroom, and in came the fuzz. She refused to come out so they forced open the door and found her having some fun with a spoon and a lighter. Immediate arrest, turned out she was wanted in another county as well, and she is still in jail. And fun fact, before she moved in to the apartment next to me she had just given birth to a son who she abandoned.
My neighbors now are charming and we frequently while away the hours chatting on the balcony.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Had a neighbor when I was 5 or 6 who was a complete bitch. We didn't have any noise complaints or hygiene issues with her, but on one fateful day she stormed over to our house and shrieked at me and my grandfather that if our cat ate her flowers again, she'd drown it.

The cat was indoors exclusive.

Thankfully she didn't remain there for more than a year. My grandfather was very well liked in the neighborhood as a sweet old man and once word got around that she did this, people stopped wanting anything to do with her.

 

[DancinTim]

Not really terrible but a sort of funny thing that happened 3 or 4 years back.

One of my neighbors was an old woman who would loudly gossip to her old lady friends about everyone else living around her. (ex: oh so and so hired brown people to work in the yard, so and so is a dirtly ol chain smoker,blah blah) One day her husband apologized saying they were doing some work on the fence and that it would be a little loud and workers will be in our yards. Turns out she thought everyone was spying on her and wanted a 10 ft privacy fence built around her yard.
It's all cool I guess since her husband agreed that she was unreasonable and probably a little crazy, but she would not stop bitching so he had to get the fence built.

 

[Arse Biscuit]

I am surrounded by Calvinists, who are more or less the worst people on Earth.

It's not even June, and I've already had to throw a dead javelina into the neighbor's yard.

 

[AnOminous]

You might just be a hick if you can say this sentence. . .

It's not even June, and I've already had to throw a dead javelina into the neighbor's yard.

 

[Arse Biscuit]

You might just be a hick if you can say this sentence. . .

It's an Arizona thing. They're everywhere.

 

[AnOminous]

It's an Arizona thing. They're everywhere.

It's a terrible person thing. You're tossing rotting corpses into your neighbor's yard. What will you do when society collapses?

 

[Arse Biscuit]

It's a terrible person thing. You're tossing rotting corpses into your neighbor's yard. What will you do when society collapses?

Party in the ruins until someone eats me.

 

[AnOminous]

Party in the ruins until someone eats me.

Reasoning like this is why most people don't live in Arizona.

 

[Arse Biscuit]

Reasoning like this is why most people don't live in Arizona.

Also the 120F summer days.

 

[Coldgrip]

Also the 120F summer days.

And the fact that it's Arizona.