Asshole Things You Do

AveraDiane

Always grinning!
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Joined
Feb 19, 2015
I tend to give biting remarks to people who easily piss me off if that counts. I think I am nice, but it depends on how much I can tolerate someone.

Although I do remember laughing when I found out Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer.
 

Joan Nyan

True & Honest Fan
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Nov 11, 2013
When I'm getting off a bus and I have a drink I don't want to finish I just leave it open on my seat and get off. People stare at me but lol its the bus I'm never going to see those people again.
 

sugoi-chan

chewing on a stick of cum
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May 21, 2015
Last time I did phone tech support, it was for a specialized software company that sold server software. So the customer base was fairly small. I'd keep a list of numbers in a Notepad doc of "problem customers" - asshole customers, or customers that would keep you on the phone forever, or those customers that never could understand that it wasn't a problem with our software but rather that they're running it on underpowered servers/don't have the level of access needed/don't know what they're doing, etc. If I saw a phone number in the queue on that list, I skipped over it and left it for my coworkers.
 
G

GS 281

Guest
kiwifarms.net
I was working for one of the larger Accounting Information Systems firms. I would be charged with "diddling" with data when firms would fuck up their data files. This could happen a multitude of ways. Anyhow, for the small accounting firms that had our software January was a busy time because of income tax season (W2s are due to employees by January 31st). Well, we had this one customer down in Louisiana. This guy was quite rude and would be belligerent. Well, January 28th rolls around and he calls up complaining about software not handling his client's W-2s. Sounds weird. He said that there is some sort lock not letting him export the data into the program. Sends in all his stuff and lo and behold, he had 10,000 people in the data file, but the version he purchased limited use to 1,500 for every Employer ID. He would have to upgrade to be able to do what he wanted to do. He kept blaming the sales staff. He was pushing for a free upgrade. Our sales staff left at 5PM and old Dale's call was on its 3rd hour at about 4:30. So I finally drill it through his head that a free upgrade is not in the cards for him. He agrees and tries to get me to process the sale. This could only be done by the sales staff. I put him on hold and watch as the last person logged out of the system, then forwarded him over. Old Dale didn't process his purchase on the 28th.

I get to work on the 29th, asshole Dale is now panicked mess Dale. He needs his upgrade! He calls up and is audibly upset however he doesn't want to get into another circle and needs to get his work done now. I send Dale over to sales and they process him, then they send him back to me... because he didn't know that the upgrade is only possible through a physical copy of our software and digital download of the premium version was not an option at the time. So he's back to normal Dale and he is threatening to have my job and all this, so I let him rant and rave... Watching the clock until our final FedEx pick-up passes at 12:30. So we agree to have him pay the premium for next day service. Send him over and get him all taken care of. I drop the software in the basket for pickup on the 30th.

3PM on the 30th. Old Dale calls up and asks for shipping information. I inform him that his package was picked up for next day service that morning. The man must have shit himself yelling about his package not arriving until the 31st. He asks all these questions about what he's supposed to do, however the only true answer was: You're Fucked.

I don't know what happened to old Dale. I am guessing he got his dick sued off. Moral of the story: Don't fuck with people when your dick is in a guillotine. They might just snap the cord.
 

trip2themoon

Pleasant Conversationist.
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Joined
Feb 4, 2013
When I'm getting off a bus and I have a drink I don't want to finish I just leave it open on my seat and get off. People stare at me but lol its the bus I'm never going to see those people again.


You should sit the can on the floor so that it tips over and everyone gets a sticky mess on their shoes.
 

Abethedemon

Trve and Honest
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Aug 30, 2014
I often times ask "do you mind if I eat that thing you have?" while I reach to grab it.
 

Mourning Dove

Zenaida macroura
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Sep 15, 2013
I judge people IRL if they happen to smell badly, dress poorly ("white trash" or "homeless"), or are otherwise physically ugly. They make me uncomfortable and want to get away from them. I know it's wrong to judge people based on their physical appearances, but isn't it in human nature to do so anyway?
 

Len Kagamoney

damn you len
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Sep 29, 2015
I drive like an asshole. When you go to school in a very heavy hasidic community, you learn to get tired of all the jaywalkers and people not knowing what the fuck the right of way is. So I just inconvenience/annoy them with my driving.
Like they'll pull out of a parking lot and cover one lane, hoping/expecting me to let them in. I don't, and I just keep on cruising while they block traffic and people get pissy and honk their horns.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

#1 Wogglebug Fan
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Sep 10, 2013
I judge people IRL if they happen to smell badly, dress poorly ("white trash" or "homeless"), or are otherwise physically ugly. They make me uncomfortable and want to get away from them. I know it's wrong to judge people based on their physical appearances, but isn't it in human nature to do so anyway?
I think smell is a perfectly valid thing to judge someone on. It's an indicator of weather or not they bother to care for themselves. I was near someone just today that I had to move away from due to their smell. I kind of thought it was :briefs: for a moment
 

Strelok

Perfectly Cromulent Poster
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May 30, 2014
I will immediately form a negative opinion of certain people IRL with no actual reasoning behind it, and never be able to justify to them, or myself, why I hate them so much, I just DO.
 

Krampus

Trying too hard to be funny.
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Jul 10, 2015
Its rather minor, but i always leave the toilet seat up.
 

TheAmazingAxolotl

Meglio fascista che frocio.
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Oct 14, 2014
Its rather minor, but i always leave the toilet seat up.

There's only one set of restrooms where I work and the patrons of the mexican restaurant next door think they're allowed to go in there and shit as much as they want, so I always piss on the seat as a means of marking my territory and deterring the rogue Meixcan shitters from fouling the porcelain throne that really should only be used by the motel employees/clientele.

EDIT: it's also important to note that in the men's room, there's only one stall and the only urinal has been out of order for the past X amount of time.
 
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KatsuKitty

Stone-Cold Bitch
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Joined
Feb 3, 2013
I tend to give biting remarks to people who easily piss me off if that counts. I think I am nice, but it depends on how much I can tolerate someone.

Yeah, I'm guilty of this too. Maybe even worse. In my head, I make like a list of things I know my "enemies" (i.e. people I don't get along with well) are really sensitive to, then drop the nuke when they piss me off. If I'm just so sick of putting up with your crap, I verbally go for the throat.

I got fired from a job in high school after bringing up this snotty girl's dying mom (she was an alcoholic and her liver was shot), telling her it was her fault or something like that, because she said something to me that I don't really remember but got pissed at. The conversation wasn't even about her mom, I literally pulled it out of nowhere to push her buttons. I tend to be a passionate person; people who earn my respect and treat me well get treated very well, and people who give me shit will be torn up and down.

It's probably not healthy, but it's kind of what I do.
 

Funnybone

Needs her password stapled to her forehead
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Feb 4, 2015
I almost never believe people who say they have certain mental problems. (Anxiety/OCD/ADHD/Asperger's kind of stuff) in fact when someone tells me they do I pretty much discount everything they say and mentally label them as chronic liars.
I mean, it doesn't help that this one person I know will actually shout "I have ADHD" while you're directly talking to her and go on her phone to text or some shit.

Still I feel like a dick about it sometimes.
 

admiral

Driftin' n griftin'
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Apr 16, 2013
If something has been in the fridge for more than a week, to me it is fair game. That goes both for expired food and expensive alcohol.
 

AnOminous

what is yet to come
Retired Staff
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Dec 28, 2014
If something has been in the fridge for more than a week, to me it is fair game. That goes both for expired food and expensive alcohol.

I think this applies to expired food because there's no point letting it go to waste, but alcohol doesn't do that.

OTOH I once polished off a bottle of absinthe belonging to a roommate partly because I was tired of looking at it and partly because the asshole was way behind on rent and I wasn't expecting to see any of that money ever anyway.
 

autisticdragonkin

Eric Borsheim
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Feb 25, 2015
Whenever someone does a minor slight against me I respond with a mathematical calculation to determine how much revenge they deserve followed by quickly taking revenge on them (within 5 minutes) and forgetting about it. If it takes over 5 minutes I forget about it anyways
 

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