Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

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Made pure again from the hardest game on earth.
Many years ago when Electronics Boutique was still around I went in to look around and some poor nerd kid was tormenting a store employee by talking about how great Solid Snake was compared to Sam Fisher. This went on for the entire visit I was there and you can see by the look of the employee's face that he was just being nice to the young guy who was as awkward as hell.
Well since ol' Wraith has a presence of a dark master I let this go on for a very long while while looking around and when the kid took a break to catch his breath I spewed out some random nonsense I made up about Sam Fisher. Never played the games, but it looks like I was 100% accurate. Kid looks deflated, completely deflated from one dumb remark and slinked out of the store with his tail between his legs. The EB employee was turning red trying not to bust up laughing. I paid for my stuff and remarked on the way out, "Never even played the damn games." That got him and he enjoyed the hell out of that.

Also my own autism. For the hell of it a few weeks ago went into a Spencers and got upset they were selling Sanic socks without blue arms. I would have bought a pair if they have 'em with blue arms too.

Big Nasty

I've known a guy that did that too. It was his old engagement ring. His ex-fiancee kicked him out for being a jerk and a control freak who only cared about gaming. I think he wanted her to support him financially while he tried to "go pro".
BTW, If you wanna know how that guy looked like, just picture Lowtax, but blonde and with bad acne. He also spoke like Beavis: "Uh... Huh... Huh... Yeah..."


Dinner Blaster
Not my story, and this might not even be real, but I just remembered this story I read on 4chan:
You know those really narrow stairwells you'd have to climb to get to your class in elementary school? Back when I was in school, they had the kids all come inside in a single file line with a pair of "line leaders" appointed to make sure everybody was accounted for. They'd stand at the front of the line and everyone else would walk up behind them. One day, this borderline exceptional kid who would always wear a Space Jam hat was made line leader. He was freaking out about it during recess and screaming at kids to make sure they'd be in line when the bell rang because he didn't wanna get in trouble. So the bell rings, everyone gets in line and now everybody has to follow Space Jam up the stairs (all the stairs, we were on the top floor) to get back to class.

I don't know if it was the stress of being line leader or just his autism in general but on the first flight of stairs, he flat out shit his pants. One of those bad, loose sulfur shits that permeates like some kind of chemical weapon. All the kids started gagging and yelling and shit and he just kept waddling up the stairs making this weird gulping noise. The whole grade had to walk ten flights of stairs in his shit stench.

He got sent home but after that everybody would go up to him, hunch over, stick their asses out, pretend they shit themselves and yell the Space Jam lyrics. He just always made the gulping noise and later on that year got suspended for throwing a textbook out the open window.

Kideo Hojima

Sleepytime Chicken Connoisseur
Last semester, I was in a Chem 2 lab and due to my lab partner dropping out of the course, I was stuck with this one guy for the rest of the lab. His hair was all greasy and stringy ala current CWC and he was quite… special.
Whenever we would handle chemicals, he’d pick them up in their containers with no gloves on and had to be told, by either me or other people, to put his gloves on constantly. It didn’t help that thanks to a slight air current in the room, I’d smell him and God, he reeked. The best way I can describe the smell is “processed, salty chicken broth.” Even when I walked back to grab my stuff, I could smell the same rancid scent emanating from his coat and backpack. (This smell would slowly get worse as the semester progressed.) Last I heard of him he dropped out of the course and never retook it.
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Autumnal Equinox

Dancing Republican vampire
Guy I don't think was an actual autist, but what he did was pretty fucking autistic.

Waiting in the self checkout line the other night and I notice this guy waiting also. Poofy hair, big aviator sunglasses, popped collar shirt, fake spray on tan; he looked exactly like the douchebag kid you'd see in every 80s teen movie. I laugh to myself internally at how exceptional he looks and continue waiting.

A younger redheaded girl gets in line with a small basket of stuff as well. Immediately 80s Douchebag starts prowling at her with some really cringy lines "hey...hey girl. What's someone as beautiful as you doing here, huh girl? Got a chariot waiting outside to take you back to your palace, princess? You look really special, girl."

She's ignoring him at first, but quickly starts telling him he needs to stop. All the while he's grinning that "I'm a playa" kind of grin and saying his asinine lines. Finally she loses her shit, screams "FUCK OFF! I DON'T KNOW YOU! YOU NEED TO LEAVE ME ALONE!" puts her basket of stuff on the ground and walks out of the store.

80s Douchebag just looks around, grins and says "What's her deal? I right, guys? Yeah, you know I'm right, guys. We've all been there."

Molester Stallone

Trust me, I'm a doctor.
One of my favorite memories from high school was a fight between two speds. At the time, our school had begun putting the special ed kids in normal classes a few times a week so they would be able to "socialize" with other peers. Of course this never happened as the speds stayed in their little group and disrupted everyone with their squeaking and clicking.

I don't know exactly what started it, but I watched the largest tard in the group hurl the smallest one across the room. That little bastard sprung to his feet and was on large tards back like a fucking spider monkey. The little imp was clawing at his face and shrieking like a banshee. Again, large tard sent him flying across the room where he created a rather large hole in the drywall. This continued a few more times. Finally another teacher came in and put a stop to it.

Of course neither of them were punished for their little outburst. A few days later my friend told me they were in his science class like nothing ever happened.


I saw an interesting display of autism a few years back when I finished my frwshman year at college. I was getting my car washed at one of those full service car washes that you would get out of your car and the staff would clean the interior for you. I had just gotten out of my car and sat down on one of the benches when I saw a Prius with a bunch of MLP window stickers and trans rights stickers plastered all over the back of the car. After a bit, the owner came out and I got a full look at the type of person who would drive a car like this. He was was in his late teens, early 20s, about 5'7", and was wearing sandles with socks, cargo shorts, an unbuttoned flannel with an MLP shirt underneath, and was wearing a literal fedora. He got into his car and drove off without leaving a tip, and I just sat there kind of baffled about what I just saw.
I really feel like i've read this before. Is this a copypasta?

soft breathing

i'm a tired piece of shit.
Okay, since this is quite a long story if I type it all out, I'll make a TL;DR and you can just ask if anything is unclear.

- A girl I knew (approx 22 y/o) had a boyfriend for a few years.
- She ordered something from Amazon.
- The delivery guy apparently tried to flirt with her on the doorstep but she told him she's taken.
- So when he had another delivery for her on another day, he apparently noted down her phone number.
- She again told him that she's not interested.
- But the guy contacted her later that day through text.
- At first she was kinda weirded out.
- But then she texted him back and they got talking.
- And then she went out for food with him.
- And now she's thinking about ditching her boyfriend for him since the delivery guy is 'at least making an effort', he's 'so cute' and 'already putting so much work into this'.

... You thought this would be a story about a stalker guy. But no. There's also an autistic girl who doesn't know any better.


i am full but i must eat.
a short but weird story. was "friends" with this guy in middle school who loved talking about sex. everytime we had a chat, sex would come up sooner or later. talking about girls, different positions, fetishes (was a fan of outdoor sex) and porn movies he watched online or tape on his VHS. we would sometimes masturbate behind the school gym too see who would cum first. one day he asked me if i wanted to be in a pron video. said he knew this guy who would tap me having sex with a girl my age and maybe give us some money if it all went well. showed me a picture of the girl (was an easy 5. looked a bit chubby) and had a chat with the producer who told me no one but him would watch the tap and keep me anonymous. i ALMOST said yes but chickened out in the last minute. i still dont know if my friend was just fucking with me or not but a part of me regret saying no since i lost my virginity almost ten years later and i could have been one the first of my group of friends to have had sex.
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present day... present time.... HAHAHAHA!
I know this kid who's really obsessed with Disney shit, particularly Frozen. Everybody hates him because he would always act like a child (common FAS symptom) and then relentlessly sing random Disney song and he's also not in sped because his parents were well-respected or some shit. Most people would always tell alot of stories about him (for instance, creeping on girls, running away from his house for some childish reason, etc).

A while back, I discovered he has some sort of fetal alcohol syndrome, due to primarily his fucked up face, immaturity, exceptionalism, and whatnot. His mother probably was going through some deep shit while pregnant with him, which is kinda sad to think about.

The Great Chandler

"Pickleless girls don't marry virgin boys"
Ages ago I took a trip to San Francisco and wound up killing time in the Japantown mall. I’m wandering around taking in all the weird imported crap on display in some department store or other and from an aisle over someone starts screaming. I look over to see what’s going on and witness a guy best described as OPL plus 200 pounds grabbing things off a shelf, still screeching. Then I realize he’s not screaming. He’s attempting to sing the commercial jingle for Giga Pudding, which his hands are currently full of. He hauls an armload of them up to the stunned cashier, pays, and immediately starts singing the jingle again as he leaves.

This single incident permanently defined my mental image of 4chan posters.

Postal Dude

Killing is my business... and business is good!
I've a pair of fun-size 'tism stories to tell. The first was when I went out for a day in the park with my family when I was around 12 or so. We heard some distant crying, but that was pretty easy to tune out. Some kid must've fallen off the playground, someone'll deal with it. Eventually, as we went on walking, we found the source of the crying: this woman was shuffling about the park like a zombie, repeatedly screaming "PAPAYAAA! PAPAYAAAAAA!" at the top of her lungs. She was also followed by a cabal of 5-6 people taking pictures and pointing and laughing at her from behind. Apparently she did this several times a week, according to a nearby vendor, but this encounter was sadly the first and last I saw of Papaya Lady.

Another one involved this tard named Roger from back in my high school days who would go around and tickle girls from behind in the hallways during passing periods. Of course, I didn't know about this until one day I made the mistake of standing still for too long when I suddenly felt something grab me by the waist. I whirled around and broke free, and he just emitted the classic aspirated "huh huh" tard giggle and ran off. I was too dumbfounded to do anything about it so I simply walked away and tried to bury it in the recesses of my mind, but apparently a few weeks later he groped the wrong person and got clocked in the jaw for it. One of my teachers later went on a tear-filled rant about how cruel it was to give a sped their just desserts for their obnoxious behaviours. Her kid has the 'tism and apparently also does inappropriate things with girls his age.


True & Honest Fan
I remember around Christmas, in my first year of college, the teachers had brought a lot of shit to eat and drink in celebration. But a few of the Arab kids thought it would be funny to throw a carton of chocolate tard cum across the computer room. Eventually the content started to leak, miraculously didn't leave a mark on me but did on some people next to me and on the desk (maybe a PC or two as well). Everything eventually got cleaned up, expect a dent in the ceiling where carton hit and a skid mark of chocolate tard cum. this happened 2 years ago. That dent and mark are still there.


Dinner Blaster
I remember around Christmas, in my first year of college, the teachers had brought a lot of shit to eat and drink in celebration. But a few of the Arab kids thought it would be funny to throw a carton of chocolate tard cum across the computer room. Eventually the content started to leak, miraculously didn't leave a mark on me but did on some people next to me and on the desk (maybe a PC or two as well). Everything eventually got cleaned up, expect a dent in the ceiling where carton hit and a skid mark of chocolate tard cum. this happened 2 years ago. That dent and mark are still there.
I thought this was kindergarten until I got to "2 years ago" and more closely read your post.

ScamL Likely

I recently saw a kid in a fedora start screeching and hitting their bag in a tard rage after they (I genuinely couldn't tell what their gender was, they just seemed like a scrawny greasy teenage thing) got into some kind of argument with a woman at a cafe. She seemed to be a bit of a sped herself so I just chalked it up to being a naturally-occurring tard fight in the wild.