Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

totse

my uncle gave me herpes
kiwifarms.net
I wish that when tumblrtards do that, the class would start pelting them with paper, spitballs, spare food. Boo, you suck, get off the stage!
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
Info ads need to be blasted all over the southwest and California in Spanish then. Not to offend but to inform them of how unsanitary it is. The plumbing works God dammit.
When my mom worked in the county hospital there was a patient from the poorest part of Central or South America who didn't know what a toilet even was. He couldn't understand the concept even after a thorough explanation in Spanish and just shat in the shower during his entire stay.
 

Letthepowerofgoutcompelyo

Boof the coof away
kiwifarms.net
I wish that when tumblrtards do that, the class would start pelting them with paper, spitballs, spare food. Boo, you suck, get off the stage!
I would spit beechnut in their eye, just like the song. I'm paying a fuckton of money for college and some purple assed baboons decide they want to be assholes? Gtfo and go to Jenny Craig with that shit.
 

behavioral swamp thang

verdad o muerte cachudo
kiwifarms.net
Okay, so I used to volunteer with autistic teenagers, and I worked with this sperg who was obsessed with metal. Unfortunately, not Norwegian black metal, but shit metal in the line of Avenged Sevenfold and shit like that. Is that even metal? Idk. Anyway, this kid was off the fucking walls. His parents didn't believe in medicine, and he desperately needed ritalin. He could only pay attention to metal, and even then, he was swiping through pages of content, playing three seconds of songs at a time, over and over, just did obnoxious aspie shit, ya'll know the drill. He was always singing lyrics to random songs, interrupting anyone and anything with senseless crap, and I adored him for it. People take life to seriously imo.

Anyway, I loved this kid cuz he was super nice and actually really fun to talk to. Despite having the attention span of a gerbil, he loved to ponder life's deep questions. One we always rehashed was along the lines of separating the artist's sins from the artist's art. I kept it light and told him people were multidimensional and we were all both good and evil. I asked him if he was speaking of any artist in particular. Little dude says, "Yes. My favorite band Lost Prophets' lead singer is in prison for a long time." I asked him what for, he said bad things, but didn't specify. I totally forgot about conversation until fast forward a year later, I've kicked the volunteer work, and I'm searching morbid shit on reddit. I see something about the band Lost Prophets, thought of my old pupil, and clicked. Turns out the lead singer, Ian Watkins, is in prison for life for BABY FUCKING. I immediately felt sick. Of course I would have told him to stop listening to the fucking band, jesus christ. I'm mother fucking haunted ya'll. Some lil' 14 year old autist is just out on the streets yelling the lyrics to baby raping music. Ya'll XD
 

Deryn

kiwifarms.net
I still wonder why autism is so closely connected to internet lunacy. Why do autistics have an inborn tendency to ridicule themselves and become laughing stocks?
 
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Over Christmas I spent about ten minutes explaining to my family that the camps the Chinese put their Muslims in aren't really concentration camps.

The weird thing is that it felt kinda like a out of body experience, like once I started talking I couldnt stop myself and in the back of my mind I was screaming at myself to stop being such an autistic exceptional individual.
 

Letthepowerofgoutcompelyo

Boof the coof away
kiwifarms.net
I was cashiering in a computer store in a big shopping center next to a Petsmart.

This big black mongoloid comes in with this rubber iguana leash and starts babbling at me.
"Blah bluh bleh!" and huge slobbers fall out of its mouth. A few managers gathered around like I was the Tard whisperer.
I kept saying "that's probably a Petsmart item." He slobbed and blathered urgently for a few minutes before waddling off.

I still got chewed out because I couldn't communicate with it.
Later on that manager was fired for harassment.
 

SPARKLETWAT

Fat Black Bitch
kiwifarms.net
My little brother. He’s taller than me but younger. He communicates by typing and sometimes uses PECS cards for things like signaling the bathroom or that he’s hungry. He found some funny ways to use the bathroom card but I’ll get to that later.

he has an adorable stimming behavior he does when he’s happy. He doesnt flap unless he’s upset so when he is happy he squats down low and claps once and stands up straight and claps above his head. Pure autism.

As a big sister it’s my job to mess with him but I only do it in private and don’t post videos cuz hello privacy matters. so here’s what I do.

I untie his shoelaces. He chimps out.
I tell him Optimus Prime sucks. He yells “nawwwww” at me, it’s his version of no.
Sometimes I put olives on his plate when I give him food. He hates olives and throws them at me. It’s a game now so he laughs but he used to get mad.
I say “you’re excused” for no reason. He looks at me like I have snakes for hair.

He messes with me right back so it’s not like I’m always the starter.
Bro likes to stick his ass towards me and fart as loud as he can. Then he hands me his toilet card. Not because he has to go, he’s commenting on the smell.
He shoves my food to the back of the fridge and I have to move stuff around to find it.
the random yelling! Be absorbed in a book or tv and suddenly he goes “BLEEAAAAAAAH!” It takes the soul out of you.
He shows me the bathroom card if I say “shit” near him.

I love my bro.
 

BSC

butthurt over e-stickers
kiwifarms.net
So I don't know whether this is individual autism or racial autism.

Found out today that Mexicans are responsible for most of, if not all, the shit covered toilet paper in bathroom trash cans. Fucking filthy.
Used to work in a place with a large amount of different minorities, honestly whites were the minority, majority was probably Mexican/Latino but w/e. Anyway according to my Mexican co-workers it was the Pacific Islanders that were responsible for this barbaric behavior,

Hell if I know, all I can say is I would hold my shits like my life depended on it until I got home, only the most violent of diarrhea could get me to use those bathrooms, and it probably would've been more sanitary to just shit my pants tbh.
 

ZXO

Mista Thug Isolation
kiwifarms.net
Used to work in a place with a large amount of different minorities, honestly whites were the minority, majority was probably Mexican/Latino but w/e. Anyway according to my Mexican co-workers it was the Pacific Islanders that were responsible for this barbaric behavior,

Hell if I know, all I can say is I would hold my shits like my life depended on it until I got home, only the most violent of diarrhea could get me to use those bathrooms, and it probably would've been more sanitary to just shit my pants tbh.
Very interesting. I noticed it in my area and wouldn't use the restroom each time. Eventually I just started taking care of things at home and used rest stops if I'm driving far. Usually no doors going into the bathrooms and you can use your foot to open stalls. But honestly if an ethnicity is going to have a finger pointed at them for something, they'll go finger guns Akimbo to place the blame on others.
 

2007 Ford Five Hundred

In the name of all hearts, we shall punish you!
kiwifarms.net
When I was younger, I used to take swimming lessons at this place that also gave lessons to tards. Most of the tards in question were on the low-functioning end of the spectrum, but there was also this one guy named Liev. Liev was around 16 or 17 when I encountered him and he was probably the highest functioning tard in the group, but his behavior was still very far from what would be considered as "normal" or "age-appropriate". As I found out in the coming weeks, he enjoyed muttering random-access humor to himself ("Blueberry slug" seemed to be a favorite of his) and taking off his bathing shorts, because sensory defensiveness. I thought he was pretty harmless until one day, where he randomly chimped out after his instructor told him to put his shorts back on. Everybody then got ordered out of the pool while several instructors pinned him down. (No word on whether they recorded his screams though) Unsurprisingly, I never saw Liev again after that.

On a lighter note, I attended this summer camp when I was a kid and there was this one exceptional guy named Calvin who was obsessed with poetry. To be more specific, he obsessed over rhyming and he spent all of his free time jotting down these bizarre poems on the whiteboard. I particularly remember one that went:

I am not lame
I get my name
When you see a pin
You know I'm Calvin
I need a friend
Without any end
So who wouldn't mind
If I write a line?

To be honest, I had no idea that autistic poetry was a thing until I saw that.
 

ForgedBlades

Milled wedges.
kiwifarms.net
There's this old homeless (I'm pretty sure) dude who has been camped out this week in the computer lab I frequent on campus. He refuses to touch any communal surface. He makes makeshift gloves out of newspaper and uses them to handle the mouse, keyboard, and doorknobs. He lays out newspaper on the chair before he sits down, and places newspaper on the desk where his arms sit. I thought about turning him in, but he hasn't said one word to me or anyone else all week, so he's cool.

More OCD than autism, but whatever.
 

Autumnal Equinox

Null killed my avatar
kiwifarms.net
There's a guy who is also a regular at the corner store I go to. Looks kind of like John Denver, always wears a cowboy hat and an army fatigue jacket. He's nice enough, but he's one of those people I think has mild autism who just likes to talk and talk and talk, and doesn't pick up on any cues you try giving to disengage from the conversation and be on your way. Guy once happily spent almost 15 minutes telling me about the origins of the phrase "catch-22" after I had affirmed that I'd read the Joseph Heller novel before.

Can't bring myself to get irritated with him. It can be annoying when he keeps on sperging when I want to get home and enjoy my snacks or smokes, but I get the feeling he's just some lonely dude who's happy someone pays attention to him.
 
I work at a university.
There's a kid, tall, thin, lanky, a fucking beanpole. I have no idea what's wrong with him, but he definitely has issues.
Spends every break in a restroom. Either in a stall, or he's just "lounging around" in the open area with the urinals or the washbasins. Even eats his fucking meals there. Doesn't ever say a damn word.

I have no idea if he's autistic, agoraphobic, or whatever else, but that boy sure ain't right.
 
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