Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories


True & Honest Fan
This one unit I was in had some particularly autistic leadership. At one point we had a change of command ceremony, and they decided it was absolutely critical that the little chips on the weapons' bluing constituted canceling training we had planned in order to "fix the problem" by covering it up with sharpie markers.

Honestly, I'm the one who generates all the autism IRL. I think everyone likes having me around though except for my high school classmates and everyone I with whom I went to basic.
For example, last Halloween I offended everyone there by putting on a black army cap, a dark jacket and going around saying I was a school shooter.


Double parked on the street.
I was at Subway during my lunch break like 5 years ago, and this bitch in front of me orders honey oat bread but wants all of the the bread cut out, just the crust. So I have to wait there for like 10 minutes while this poor minimum wage kid has to scoop all of this bread out of a footlong with one of those shitty knifes they give them. Dude I was mean mugging the shit out of this cunt, because she cost me a good half of my lunch break for that. I ordered my meatball sub, and had to hurry back to the office and eat that shit at my desk. Fuck that bitch.


Hopeless and unapologetic degenerate.
An autistic student in one of my high school classes kept pestering a guy for his phone number, he finally got sick of it and gave him a number he made-up on the spot. He then dialed it and a guy that sounded really pissed-off picked up and demanded to know who was calling him, then he freaked out and made the teacher talk to the guy and explain what was going on.

When my mom worked in the county hospital there was a patient from the poorest part of Central or South America who didn't know what a toilet even was. He couldn't understand the concept even after a thorough explanation in Spanish and just shat in the shower during his entire stay.
I know this is a reply to an old post, but I've heard the same thing about Somali immigrants, and that's one reason why communities don't want them living there.

In this thread, I keep seeing references to "egg shaped" people with autism. I have a distant relative like this (female) and a Facebook friend whose son is like that. I wonder if maybe they all have some still-unidentified syndrome.

Both of them are significantly overweight, but their excess weight looks more like the kind exhibited by people with Down Syndrome, and both of them are also very short compared to their parents. Despite not being the same gender or even race (my friend's son is a "ginger" and my relative is Hispanic) they just have the same "look" that is hard to define unless you saw both of them.

Not sure if it's a (severe) case of autism or just mental retаrdation, but I've met a guy who's around late teens and very tall, yet has an extremely childish one-track mindset, poor social awareness and randomly makes noises (like raspberries and animalistic sounds) loudly, despite being told a lot of times to stay quiet.

At the second time he and his old mom visited at the place I work in, I've found out that he had a crush on me and attempted to get my attention in his stereotypical retаrded way (his mom was like "aww, he finds you cute" at that moment). Of course I've ignored him, but when I was looking for a pen in a shelf, he left his sitting place, held my hand and got TOO close to me despite I've abruptly pulled my hand out of his own, distanced myself and told him to quit his shit around 3 times (his mom even had to call him out for that). Good thing he didn't grope.

Some minutes after coming back to his sitting place, he tried to stand up again to approach me, but I've told him (very annoyed) to sit down "or his mom will get mad" (even though I'm not very optimistic towards her), and he instantly obeyed. No REEEEEEE-ing or similar shit occurred after that.

I haven't seen him since the pandemic came here, considering that his mom is from the vulnerable groups. Regardless, I don't want to deal with his obnoxious side ever again.
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Monika H.

Join my Onlyfans ~ ❤
True & Honest Fan
Another work related story.
This one was an intern at my company, and I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned her somewhere on the Farms.
Again, it was nothing too bad about her, she dressed appropriately and behaved well, even though she sweated a lot and tended to have that BO + perfume combination stank towards the end of the day.

She was clearly on the spectrum as she had the telltale emotionless talk and during breaks would talk about her interests in movies and models.
Some other interns would tease her but nothing too bad and she seemed in on the joke.

That's not the horror story.
The horror story comes when she brought pastries for her birthday.
Since that day people were coming and going, she leaves them for everyone to take.
Well - lunch break comes and she finds her pastries in the garbage bin.
Someone felt like being an asshole that day.
She just sits at her desk and starts to silently cry to herself for some 20 minutes before me and my Berija ersatz manager (whom I talked about in the psychopaths thread) take notice.
So we ask her what happened, she tells us and Berija goes ballistic on the other interns, threatening to fire and make something worse to who did that and that he'll check the cameras to see who's "the piece of shit) who did it (in the end we never found out tho we had some clue on who would be the culprit).

After he calms down, he takes the intern aside. Since exactly like his NKVD namesake he always looked and acted pretty rapey with girls, alarm bells rang for me so I kept an eye on them.
Nothing bad happened and after work he, another (female) manager, me and one coworker took the girl to the bar to get a cake and make some small celebration.
Strangely enough, Berija seemed sincere enough in his concern for the girl, it was maybe the only time he seemed an actual decent human being.
Who knows, maybe he had some daughter or relative on the spectrum and that hit close home for him.


“see what you did, engineer?”
A couple of weeks before this whole lockdown thing started there were 3 grown ass dudes with touhou plushes eating in the lobby at a nearby mcdonald’s. They took one of the long tables and had their plushes taking up seats like they were kids or something. I went in, took a piss, ordered a shamrock shake and then left as soon as I could.


Hopeless and unapologetic degenerate.
Here's some more stories involving the same student from my last post.

I was in a study hall and he came right the fuck out of nowhere and started showing everyone sonic vore on his phone. And one time in the same class he started repeatedly yelling "cannibalistic Santa" at the top of his lungs.

He stripped naked in one of the bathrooms and tried to wash his body with the sinks and refused to stop, it got so bad to the point were the resource officers had to take him out while he was fighting and screaming.

In gym he tackled someone and starting humping them, as a result he got punched in the face, he then started screaming and attacking students, and again, the officers had to step in.

To this day I still wonder why the hell he was allowed to be in a regular high school.
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Govt. Shitposting Machine

A shitpost a day keeps the CIA away!
Was debating whether to post this or not since I think this individual is internet savvy enough to come to a bird farming forum, but fuck it it's too funny not to tell.

So in high school about 11th grade was this fat neckbeard fucker. I didn't know him too personally. He was a friend of a friend though. But GOD he was something else.
Long unkempt knotty hair, obese as fuck, wore the same sweaters everyday, covered in acne scars and fucking stunk. Don't remember if he had any friends besides that one guy but he seemed to like hanging out with the other fat quiet kids.
Also don't remember his name so let's call him Goat. You will see why.

Goat was a weird mix of both Tumblr and Reddit culture. Obsessed with Undertale like Tumblr, and always thought he had superior intelligence for spewing basic bitch facts from the internet like Reddit. Didn't know when to STFU but if you sat and nod to whatever he was saying it was a tolerable experience.
And when I say Goat likes Undertale, he REALLY likes it.
Had him in art class in the 11th grade early in the morning. Since my art teacher was literally a heroin junkie we didn't do assignments just grabbed whatever materials we wanted and worked on our own projects for 40min.
Goat was making a doll/figure of Toriel. At first nobody could really tell what the fuck he was working on but as the mangled pieces of clay and aluminum began to form together it was pretty obvious to anyone in that class who was a no life gamer (me).
Though one morning. One fucking morning. Walk into class, see him painting her thigh area. Making progress, however shitty it may be. Watched him for a bit actually. Though I noticed something weird about the doll.
It's got a hole in it's crotch area.
Looked wide enough get the idea.
Ran the fuck outta the art room to go tell my friend in the next room over what the fuck he was doing which was admittedly very autistic on my part but I had to tell someone that he was gonna fuck that damn doll. Didn't go back to class that period because knowing the truth about what he was working on for months straight was pretty fucking nasty.

He also did also lulzy shit like call the principal an asshole really loud in the hallway for everyone to hear and was suspended for fighting him, occasionally wore an eyepatch because of his "lazy eye" but everyone pretty much figured it was just for show to look edgy.
I met up with him after I graduated too, when I went to go visit a friend. Turns out he lived literally right next door to him so we hung out playing Cards Against Humanity. He rambled about some Bionicles shit and was creating his own language to write his Bionicles fanfic in and showing us the letter chart. We just sat and nodded. When I went to go leave he asked for a hug. Gay as fuck I don't wanna hug no fat stinky nigga.

I have a lot of other bizarre stories from high school due to attracting autists naturally so I might post more. Hopefully this wasn't too much of a block of text.

Govt. Shitposting Machine

A shitpost a day keeps the CIA away!
This was fucking hilarious and horrifying. Please post more! I’m crying.
Please don't cry くださいね;;;

Another autist from highschool I remember was this really tall lanky kid with an overbite and dented wire frame glasses. Again, greasy as fuck hair acne scars, and the same sweater for an entire school year. Talked with a heavy lisp and stuttered a shit ton. Let's call him Teeth.
I had Teeth for 11th grade computer science, where he'd just sit next to another high functioning autist (at least he was more well dressed and groomed, I'll give him that) and they'd watch TF2 videos together and yell out "THE AMBIGUOUSLY GAY DUO!!" every couple of minutes. Teacher asked them what they fuck they meant by that and all she got back in response was Beavis and Butthead laughter. If they saw each other in the hallway that's all they'd say to each other. Mating call?
For some reason Teeth liked to squat in his chairs...which would be fine if he did that at home but in school sitting in the same cushion chairs as everyone else that's gross. You know schools don't clean their floors. Asked him why he sat like that and he'd just spit out "BECAUSE I LIKE IT" with actual spit flying out everywhere.

During the 12th grade the student council put together this really cute Valentines party during lunch in the cafeteria. Playing music, cute heart decorations and banners all over the cafeteria, kids and teachers brought in meals from home or restaurants, wholesome stuff. I didn't join in though, sitting in the hallway right by the cafeteria door (too noisy for me don't judge) eating lunch so I didn't get to see everything that went down.
There's the sound of music and laughter one second and then you hear shit falling apart and things being slammed against the wall the next second. It was so loud it practically shook the entire hallway.
Teeth runs outta there like a little gremlin yelling "FUCK VALENTINES DAY" and there's one of the girls from the student council chasing him, screaming at him "GET BACK HERE WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING" ready to beat the shit out of him.
Teachers didn't even bother breaking up the fight because to be fair he kind of deserved it. Shit was glorious.
Though walking in the cafeteria to see the aftermath was kinda sad because everyone put in effort making decorations and bringing in meals and now it looks like a fucking tornado hit the entire room with food on the floor and tables turned over. God only knows how one skinny lad tore up the entire fucking cafeteria.

Also for some reason I had thought Teeth was a sophomore or something but turns out he was in my graduating class and during the ceremony after I got my diploma he was next. We were supposed to stand next to each other because something about last names but I cannot stand the smell of unwashed asscracks so I took a sidestep and Teeth just turned over to me, glared right into my soul and asked "Why you'd walk away?"
Tried to weasel myself out of an argument so I was all "haha Wow Teeth I didn't know you were graduating with us! Congrats!" but he just kept asking what he did wrong. I don't have the heart to tell people when they smell bad.
And yes Teeth also did not wash his hair again so his greasiness was shiny with all the camera flashes.
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Cuck Shack

Lair of Cuck Wendigo
When I was in high school, there was one notable sperg. He was high functioning in the same way that Chris Chan is. With that being said, he was an idiot savant. His savant skill was math. He was a genius at that, but a tard at everything else. I can't remember his real name but his nickname was Bottles because he collected bottle caps. He walked around the school asking kids if he could have the caps from their drinks.

Bottles was quite the ladies man. He asked girls if they wanted a tattoo with his pen in hand. If they said yes, he would draw random bullshit on their hands. The girls seemed to think it was cute. Guys didn't bully him much because the girls would always come to his defense. He was slick for an autist.

Monika H.

Join my Onlyfans ~ ❤
True & Honest Fan
Whole gang of friends I used to frequent was made up of undercover autists.
One of them was the girl that got caught dragging some skinned animal on the side of the road and fucked a wheelchair bound dude on a dare, so that's the level of the people in there (me comprised, I was quite a sped myself when I was younger and I still am).

Who really stood out was her sped ex boyfriend, a guy in his 30's (now more closer to 40's) often made us drive to a far distant town near the border so he could get his favorite ice-cream.
And he'd not buy a big box, no.
He'd get a single one, get back into the car and eat it in the seat like a sped, then go back inside and get another. He could get up to 5-6 ice-creams that way.