Autism you witnessed IRL - share your stories

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Biffo

kiwifarms.net
During my time at college I used to go to a room they had for people with autism because they had a ps3 and I could just play that in my breaks, was always friendly with people no reason to be a dick even to the people I disliked. Place was a mix of people, few low functioning which college just acted like a babysitters for, most were mid functioning who did life skills courses just stuff to get them the most basic of jobs and some higher functioning one that did normal courses.

Anyway this one kid was mid function, he wanted to be a voice actor despite the fact he could not talk correctly and slurred every word he said with a good amount of spit coming from his mouth, same guy once had soup and by the time he was finished everything below his nose was covered in it, no idea how he did that, wasn't like he split it.
However the main autistic thing is one time when I was talking to him about random shit like video game or something and his helper came to get him for his class, he asked the helper to give him a minute then out of nowhere he asked me right next to his helper when I thought he would lose his virginity, I just bust out laughing

Still hear from him every few months, in what it feel like him just trying brag about something he has done, mostly stuff like how he paid to meet voice actors at a con and now somehow they are friends, no idea why he thinks I would care. But last I heard from other people is he got banned from a geek cafe because he was perving on the hambeasts there.
 
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BurritoHero

A real human bean.
kiwifarms.net
Hey, I used to work as a 'support professional' at a behavioral health place. I was in the high-intensity autism ward, so I have plenty of insane stories to share. Most of the kids there had a cocktail of issues to compound their 'tism, so it was a pretty wacky and wild ride.

I guess if there's enough interest I could type out some of my experiences. Gonna be a long series of posts.
 

Tahoma

i'm such a fucking epic child molester lol
kiwifarms.net
Hey, I used to work as a 'support professional' at a behavioral health place. I was in the high-intensity autism ward, so I have plenty of insane stories to share. Most of the kids there had a cocktail of issues to compound their 'tism, so it was a pretty wacky and wild ride.

I guess if there's enough interest I could type out some of my experiences. Gonna be a long series of posts.
do it faggot
 

BurritoHero

A real human bean.
kiwifarms.net
Alright, so the way it worked at my previous employer was as follows: Each support professional was paired up with a kid, and you assisted them with their daily routine (wake up, eat, get ready for school, etc). They were always hiring, and the turnover rate was insanely high due to how terrible the job and pay rate were. I really, really needed a gig at the time, though, so I bit the bullet.

There were five kids in the high-intensity autism ward when I was working there, and most of them were going to be in the system for life. A few of the kids were more high-functioning than others, but all of them would have violent or self-harming episodes now and again. And when I say violent, I mean violent.

Most of the employees there were women half my size, so whenever a restraint needed to be performed, I was always the one who had to initiate it. We had these 'company-approved' restraints we were permitted to do, which absolutely 100% did not work. They were designed not to harm the kids, which is commendable, but when an almost 6 foot 18-year-old is trying to gouge your fucking eyes out, you're not going to be able to remember some fruity technique they taught you in a 30 minute course.

Anyway, the kids. I won't name them, or give away anything too specific, but I'll detail a bit about each of them in every post. Let's start with Harold (not his real name).

Harold was eighteen, and was somewhere in the ballpark of 5'10-5'11. He had autism and what I can only assume was EXTREME obsessive compulsive disorder. This guy had to psych himself up for 10-20 minutes just to get through a doorway. As you can imagine, getting him to school on time was a complete fool's errand, but we tried anyway.

Harold would also get extremely agitated when things weren't just so. Once he mustered up the courage to make it out of his room, he would walk around and turn every single light in the building off. If you turned the lights back on when he went into the bathroom for a shower, he would know, and he would get very angry. Oftentimes he would take hours just to get himself into the bathroom, despite constant encouragement, so we devised a system--you remember those flat little scooter things kids would get in gym class at school? We tied a few of those together with bedsheets, and found it was a lot easier to get him seated on there to drag him into the bathroom than wait for him to do it himself.

Due to his difficulty with transitioning between spaces, he would often soil himself before reaching the bathroom. As a result, he had to wear an adult diaper. When he was sufficiently agitated, Harold would force himself to defecate, and then reach into his diaper and produce his little gift for all to see. From here, he'd smear his foul leavings all over walls, desks, coworkers--really whatever he could get his hands on.

Cleaning up after this kid was a nightmare. I remember setting about this grim task with a coworker on several occasions, which consisted of making an improvised t-shirt out of a trash bag to protect our clothes, then spraying bleach just about everywhere. It was convenient when he smeared in the bathroom, because we could just spray water from a hose all over the walls/floors due to the drain in the floor. When it was in his bedroom, however, we had to mop up the floors and wipe his shit off the walls with paper towels.

Harold would also get 'stuck' outside on his walk to school occasionally. He'd zero in on a patch of grass, then sit there autistically picking at it for HOURS if you let him. There wasn't a protocol for this when we first got the kid, so the first time it happened, he literally sat there picking grass for six or seven hours before he was satisfied. From that point on, we had a rule to 'escort' him when he had been doing it for twenty minutes.

He'd get angry when being pressured to leave, and attacked me on multiple occasions. Harold would screech at the top of his lungs and try to gouge at you with his fingernails, which may not sound too bad (compared to some of the kids, who would actually try to use weapons). It was bad. This kid was lanky and possibly double-jointed at the wrist--I don't know how he did it, but he'd still be clawing you no matter what restraint you tried. I have dozens of nasty scars on my hands and arms from dealing with him. If you had to put this kid in a restraint, you were going to bleed.

I'm sure I don't need to mention the sanitary concerns of a kid who smears poop scratching the fuck out of you with his shitty fingernails. I got a tetanus shot, sure, but I'm still lucky I didn't contract some kind of disease. That being said, he was honestly one of the easier kids to deal with. Him taking hours to transition meant you were sitting in a chair most of the time, and I got to watch a lot of youtube as a result. I don't really feel bad about it--they were paying 12 dollars an hour for people to go through this fresh hell.

I'll tell some more stories about the other kids if people like this one enough. They were all special in their own unique ways. I didn't really hate them, and the job could be pretty rewarding at times when you actually taught them to do something. I mostly hated the employer.
 

Mistigris

kiwifarms.net
Had a run in with an incel/nice guy autist a few years back, by far the worst breed.

Would complain about having No GF and then called a girl a slut just for standing there I guess, so typical incel behavior. Then they talked about Captain Marvel out loud towards a wall for an hour.

Told me their dead gf of 10 years approves of me but doesn't approve of my SO. :stress:
 
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BurritoHero

A real human bean.
kiwifarms.net
I implore you, do go on
You got it chief.
Why is there so much more suffering from autism these days?

"Better detection" my ass - it's clearly on the rise.
No idea. If I had to guess, I would say it's due to people having kids much later than they should nowadays. If you're in your 40s, it's probably time to pack it in. You're playing the lottery for birth defects past that point.

Anyway, shorter post this time, hopefully. Gonna talk about Nelson, a little kid about 10 years old, and small for his age. He had autism mixed with some other cocktail of mental disorders that made him extremely hyperactive and unpredictable. We had to mark down every time the kids engaged in physical aggression toward us, and I stopped recording him at 240 one particular day.

Nelson would act like a sweet little angel one moment, and then be punching/biting/kicking you in a split second. Some of the new people thought he was cute and would let him cuddle with them when it was getting close to bedtime. I warned them that this was not only against protocol, but also a really good way to get sent to the hospital with a bite wound.

I remember one lovely autumn morning where Nelson kicked me in the balls six separate times. Since he was so small, there was literally no restraint protocol for him, so you pretty much had to let him do whatever he wanted. I told management on multiple occasions that this was fucking exceptional, as enabling this behavior would lead to him straight-up killing people when he got older and stronger. I was gently rebuked every time.

He also put me in the hospital once. A ten year old. I was standing at the end of the hallway blocking a door, since the kid I was in charge of was having a bit of an episode inside the classroom. Nelson came running at full speed and slammed right into my lower back, catching me completely off-guard. It didn't hurt at first, but when I went to bed that night I was in excruciating pain. Ended up just being a strain, thankfully, but it wasn't my proudest moment being done in by a little kid.

Nelson couldn't talk, exactly, but mimicked other people's speech, kinda like a bird. I remember one instance of him slapping one of my female coworkers around while squeaking, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" It was a fucking surreal moment. He also would mess with the other kids, but they'd push him over and make him cry if he pissed them off too much. It was kind of cathartic to watch, if I'm being honest.

He was honestly my least favorite kid to be assigned to, since you had to watch him like a hawk at all times. He was a huge flight risk, too, so I got my fair share of cardio in just trying to keep up with him. He would also get completely bare-ass naked at pretty much any opportunity, which was pretty embarrassing when we went on public outings. Yes, they let these kids go to the fucking park with other normal children. I always thought that was a lawsuit just waiting to happen.
 

MysticMisty

kiwifarms.net
Honestly, if you have that sensitive of an autistic child, at least give them the mercy of noise cancelling head phones or a choice to stay home, they're probably just as embarrassed/upset as you are.
This is why I don't understand why the parents of mentally disabled kids insist on taking them to theme parks. It's not a god-given right to go to one, and even perfectly normal people won't go when they suffer from motion sickness, or have a paralyzing fear of heights.

Yes, they let these kids go to the fucking park with other normal children.
Can confirm that this is true, unfortunately. These people can be banned from most day groups due to their violent tendencies, but still have wranglers take them out in public to parks or public events. Where they inevitably attack someone/destroy property/strip naked/smear shit/combination of the above, and their wrangler had to tell the people who get involved that sorry, they don't know better 'cause they're mentally disabled.
 

Gravityqueen4life

will feed Greta some kebab
kiwifarms.net
You got it chief.


No idea. If I had to guess, I would say it's due to people having kids much later than they should nowadays. If you're in your 40s, it's probably time to pack it in. You're playing the lottery for birth defects past that point.

Anyway, shorter post this time, hopefully. Gonna talk about Nelson, a little kid about 10 years old, and small for his age. He had autism mixed with some other cocktail of mental disorders that made him extremely hyperactive and unpredictable. We had to mark down every time the kids engaged in physical aggression toward us, and I stopped recording him at 240 one particular day.

Nelson would act like a sweet little angel one moment, and then be punching/biting/kicking you in a split second. Some of the new people thought he was cute and would let him cuddle with them when it was getting close to bedtime. I warned them that this was not only against protocol, but also a really good way to get sent to the hospital with a bite wound.

I remember one lovely autumn morning where Nelson kicked me in the balls six separate times. Since he was so small, there was literally no restraint protocol for him, so you pretty much had to let him do whatever he wanted. I told management on multiple occasions that this was fucking exceptional, as enabling this behavior would lead to him straight-up killing people when he got older and stronger. I was gently rebuked every time.

He also put me in the hospital once. A ten year old. I was standing at the end of the hallway blocking a door, since the kid I was in charge of was having a bit of an episode inside the classroom. Nelson came running at full speed and slammed right into my lower back, catching me completely off-guard. It didn't hurt at first, but when I went to bed that night I was in excruciating pain. Ended up just being a strain, thankfully, but it wasn't my proudest moment being done in by a little kid.

Nelson couldn't talk, exactly, but mimicked other people's speech, kinda like a bird. I remember one instance of him slapping one of my female coworkers around while squeaking, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" It was a fucking surreal moment. He also would mess with the other kids, but they'd push him over and make him cry if he pissed them off too much. It was kind of cathartic to watch, if I'm being honest.

He was honestly my least favorite kid to be assigned to, since you had to watch him like a hawk at all times. He was a huge flight risk, too, so I got my fair share of cardio in just trying to keep up with him. He would also get completely bare-ass naked at pretty much any opportunity, which was pretty embarrassing when we went on public outings. Yes, they let these kids go to the fucking park with other normal children. I always thought that was a lawsuit just waiting to happen.
this is why being a tard wrangler must be hell. you not allowed to restraint or tell the tard its in the wrong. the tard can never be in the wrong or be at fault for his or her doing and just encoruged them to act out even worse when they figure it out. you have to train them like dogs.
 

ToroidalBoat

Token Hispanic Friend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One time I was taking the bus somewhere. A guy - with the body of a man, but who clearly had the mind of a prepubescent kid - boarded the bus. Seems he boarded in a way where someone else ended up pushing him. Suddenly I heard this loud nasally voice whining "WHY DID HE PUSH ME?!" Everyone looked over and the guy took a photo of the other guy who supposedly pushed him. An argument broke out, and the bus driver chimed in with something like "shut the fuck up or get off the bus" (yeah he actually said "fuck"). Then the autistic guy started stimming and rocking back and forth, still visibly shaken from the confrontation.

Another day, I saw the guy at the library, watching some cartoon on YouTube, and stimming. The guy's mom looked worn out IIRC.

No idea. If I had to guess, I would say it's due to people having kids much later than they should nowadays.
I've heard theories ranging from mercury poisoning from preservatives in vaccines, to excessive EMF pollution, to increased use of RoundUp (glyphosate), to oversaturation of technology in everyday life, to dietary issues. Parents are understandably desperate for answers, as autism is a life ruining disability - should be clear from the stories in this thread.
 
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oldTireWater

Incompetent as fuck
kiwifarms.net
Borderline things I've seen at work:
  • Dude carrying on a conversation with talking at someone trying to take a piss...about one foot away from their left shoulder.
  • Senior manager brushing his teeth while taking a shit. Maybe that's just super-time-management shit, but it's insane to me.
  • Multiple dudes not wiping their asses after shitting (based on audibles, not visuals).
  • (Heard about this one second hand) Some big-noggin filling his coke to the brim, then trying to add ice, and surprised at the outcome.
  • Office mate who carried on imaginary conversations with himself, but would use my name while he was doing it. Didn't fucking care for it, but I could handle it.
  • Office mate who added her own sound effects to everything she did ("ta-dah!", "uh-oh!", "bump-pah-dah!", etc.). I couldn't handle that shit, and had to move jobs.
 

Diggingmyowngrave

...the dead shall walk the earth.
kiwifarms.net
Here is some actual autism.

I was in 6th grade. I was walking down the hallway to return to my classroom from the clinic. While walking I saw this sped kid with the most wonky eyes I have ever seen using the water fountain. He noticed me and randomly said

“Eggnog”

and ran back to his classroom. It was the strangest fucking moment I ever experience As a child.
 

The Great Chandler

"Pickleless girls don't marry virgin boys"
kiwifarms.net
Here is some actual autism.

I was in 6th grade. I was walking down the hallway to return to my classroom from the clinic. While walking I saw this sped kid with the most wonky eyes I have ever seen using the water fountain. He noticed me and randomly said

“Eggnog”

and ran back to his classroom. It was the strangest fucking moment I ever experience As a child.
My spirit animal...
 

Doctor Placebo

Qassem Soleimani said trans rights.
kiwifarms.net
I remeber one time I was in my local vidya game shop, when a dude strolled in and asked the guy working there, Juan, if the massage parlor next door was, quote, "one of the ones you can get jerked off in."
Credit to my main man Juan, he remained deadpan as he explained he didn't know. The second the guy left he broke down laughing.
Ah, service jobs. I had a very similar experience.

A 50 or so year old guy walks into my first job and ask us where in town he could find some p-p-p-pussy. That's how he said it, while flapping his jowls and shaking his head. My coworker told him to try a bar downtown.

Another time an old man came in and asked if we had any pudding, and he honestly sounded more aroused at the prospect of eating pudding than the other guy did about getting pussy. He was really hyped about getting pudding.

We were a deli. We did not have pudding.

There was also the middle aged white trash woman who would constantly giggle and squeal and generally act like a particularly exceptional thirteen year old whenever I would take her order. The manager told me that she had the hots for me, which I kind of figured because she was about as obvious about it as an exceptional thirteen year old would be. I was sixteen at the time, which didn't seem to concern her at all, although she might have had enough issues that she couldn't quite wrap her head around age of consent.
 

Buxinator

Just an average joe
kiwifarms.net
Personal note: I used the holidays to recap my decade and found also some interesting stories I would like to share with you. Maybe not all are autistic but very very special.

For some reason I considered to quit my course at the university and would become a writer. So I got in some circles with "authors" and other artists and got finally cured. I think I can share some stories from that time, which are a little bit crazy.

Let's introduce a man that'll be called Max in the post. Max is blind since the day he was born and needs sometimes help. I met him in a forum on the internet and had some chats and interactions with him. He seems to be a nice guy but after spending several days with him at a meeting of mentioned forum I changed my mind completely. But where to begin?

Let's start with the light stuff: Max can't be alone. He always wants to be around people. Due to his condition he has a very good hearing, so if he recognizes a group somewhere he would come and interrupt whatever action they're into, basically trying to get the attention and don't let it slip away. That lead quickly to a great dislike and everyone tried to avoid him. But you weren't save. Oh no! He would stand somewhere, clearly visible and listening. I tried to sneak past him but he heard my steps and followed me into the bathroom, demanding to have a chat with me. This fucker didn't let me take a dump because the was calling and banging his stick against the door.
He had also the idea to buy a tent (yes seriously) and demanded help, because he couldn't build it up. I think he got that idea from a couple who wanted some privacy and don't share the room with four other people. As nobody responded he was pissed and slept in the room I was in.
The meeting was on a weekend and there was barbecue and booze. So far so good. But instead of waiting in line, Max sat on his fat ass, handed his plate to anyone passing by and demanded meat. After eating more than the muckbang lolcows he heard that no sausages and steaks were left. So he threw a tantrum, said that it was unfair, due to his condition having a barbecue is the most joyful thing in his life and started crying. A girl managed it to calm him down but than the drinking began.
Not only was the hammered as fuck, he was also one of the last ones who left, stumbled into our rooms, took out his mobile and said "Okay guys the party goes on. Let's play hardstyle. I'll show you my favorite artist: DJ Max!" Yes he was a hardstyle DJ, liked his own work the best and decided it would be a good idea to impress everybody in the sleeping room with his work after a night of heavy drinking, which ended in the demanding of sleep. As he was told to stfu and fuck his music, he threw again a tantrum. I was so pissed that I went into the breakfast hall and sleep on a bench.
The cycle with Max continued over the weekend but the fun part was the aftermath. Remember the girl who calmed him down? He developed a crush on her. Made a fucking long post on that forum, like an open love letter, went so far as to hint that he'd purpose to her if she would be his girlfriend, because she was nice to him and had a lovely voice. I have to admit that her voice is indeed nice and I enjoyed to listen to her singing at the campfire, but that's just some random information.
Of course she said no and explained her rejection. She met him for the first time and was already in a relationship. Max didn't took that well. He went on a sperg, leaking PMs on Facebook and the forum, doxing her on Facebook and in his thread, accusing her of pushing him towards suicide and said that he will attempt a concert of her in the town where he lives and kill himself in front of the stage, to teach her a lesson. He bought already a ticket, posted a picture, and said he would swallow pills with lots of booze, hoping to die while he listened to her angelic voice.
Guess what: The show got canceled, the threw another tantrum and tried to sue her. End of the story: the admins of the forum shadowbanned him, deleted all of his drama post and the case was closed. I lost track of him, as I moved on with a normal life. He is still alive but living on Facebook posting multiple times a day what he is doing with no one responding.
And that my friends was the story of Max. I hope you all have a good weekend.
 

An Sionnach Seang

Russell Greer audiobook in profile
kiwifarms.net
don't know about autism per se, but the joint funniest person I've ever seen riding the tram* definitely seemed to have a screw loose
there's a tram stop above the main railway station in the city where I work, and a lot of the station is open, so the automated announcements are clearly audible from the tram stop

one morning there was a young fellow waiting for a tram on the opposite platform, and I could just about hear him saying things like "platform 5B for the 08:45 Northern service to Leeds" to himself, echoing or predicting the automated announcer, or just straight-up making up announcements
he had such a good-naturedly dopey voice I could not keep a straight face had to turn the other way, and struggled not to laugh out loud
no idea what exactly was up with him (if anything), but a lot of autists like trains and timetables, so that makes it sort-of relevant, right?

* the other was a middle-aged man who legitimately sounded like one of the Stotts from Reeves and Mortimer
 
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