So much meta.
No, they think it's a totally cool non-destructive thing like listening to a song 560 times or tapping their fingers or some other behavior that's normal and doesn't interfere with their lives.
"I rocked my head to the music, totes stimming gaiz #reallyautistic #stimming #dontjudge #happystimming"
A woman with an intense hatred/fear of computer language?
Searched for "Autistic" over there.
This guy seems charming (http://neutrois-nerd.tumblr.com/ )
TiredConlanger
kiwifarms.net
I don't even follow Steven Universe and I know that's wrong.
Ax only overreacted as all shit to food was because Andalites have no sense of taste. Thus, when they gain that sense, they go overboard. It's not them having an autism freakout.
- Highlight
- #28
Actually, this is a thing that happens, sort of. It's called the Miracle Mineral Solution, promoted by quacks as a cure for autism, among other things. It's a combination of sodium chlorite and water. Here's a press release from the US Dept. of Justice with more information about it.
Those people who think you shouldn't force kids to do things ever, even when it's trying to help them avoid problems...from the tumblr of thesurfacetensionofbirds
Another post about kids and forced eye contact...
As someone who has spent/spends a lot of time hanging out with and looking out for/looking after young kids, something I’ve encountered a lot is adults forcing kids to look them in the eye when they want to make sure they are getting a point across or when they are trying to have a “serious conversation” with a child.
Forcing a child to do anything is not okay. Yes, there are some things that may be essential to a child’s health and safety that an adult taking care of that child may have to get that child to do even if the child doesn’t want to, and in those situations every measure possible needs to be taken to make the experience as okay as it can be for the child. To be very clear - eye contact is not one of those things.
Forcing any child to make eye contact is not okay - this is as true for autistic kids as it is for non-autistic kids. But, with autistic kids, there’s the additional factor that eye contact may also be - in addition to being extremely stressful for the kid - impeding the kid you are talking to from listening to what you are saying or engaging with what you are saying because of the stress of being forced to make eye contact and because it’s easier for that kid to listen and understand when not making eye contact.
I remember so many instances from when I was a kid of having to choose between making eye contact when I was being told to and trying to understand what the person talking to me was saying.Situations like this were made even more stressful when I knew what was being said was something I was supposed to be listening to and understanding, but all I could focus on was how soon would I be allowed to break eye contact.
I have only ever once said to a child “just look at me for a second.” I apologized afterwards and have spent a lot of time thinking about it since. The kid I was talking to at the time was really upset and had been asking for help fixing a situation (before he became too upset to have words to ask anymore). I was trying to help him find a way to resolve the situation that was upsetting him, and without even thinking about it, I blurted out a phrase I’ve heard so many adults yell at children before (I didn’t yell, though). The ironic thing is that in saying that to this kid, I definitely did not make that much eye contact with him either (especially because I was busy trying to think of ways I could help him) - I said it because it’s a thing that I have heard so many adults say to kids…basically it’s a widely used social script, and we all have internalized scripts we may not even be aware of until they come up in a given situation (my observations lead me to believe that this is true even for folks who don’t rely as heavily on scripts as I and many others do). But, it’s a really harmful script and one that we need to stop using when we want to get a kid’s attention or have a conversation with them.
The other day I was hanging out with an neuroweird kid who I spend a fair bit of time hanging out with. At this point, we’ve gotten pretty good at knowing each others’ communication preferences and general ways of being. She sometimes makes direct eye contact with me and I sometimes make direct eye contact with her, but most often we sort of make periodic peripheral eye contact and not really much eye contact besides that. The other day when we were hanging out, she wanted to do something in the game she was playing that involved flinging small toys around. The toys involved didn’t seem like they had much potential to seriously hurt anyone or damage anything, and so there was no reason for me to stop her from playing that game. But, because I figured that there was still a potential that she could hurt herself or me, I asked her if we could talk about it before she started playing the game. Initially she did not respond to me or even seem like she was listening (she didn’t do the things she usually does when she is listening and she also kept almost flinging the toys). So, I asked her again if we could talk about the game before she kept playing it. This time she said yes, we talked about it and I explained that she should be careful not to aim the toys she was flinging at herself or at me and she agreed to this. This worked well and there is no reason at all why I would have needed to ask her to “look at me” or “look me in the eye” to have a conversation about playing a game more safely - even if it took a couple tries to get the conversation going.
There are lots of ways you can communicate with kids without forcing them to make eye contact - yes, even in situations where many people typically deem it “necessary” for a kid to look them in the eye “in order to make sure the kid has understood” or whatever other excuse people give for not respecting a child’s boundaries and needs.
Here are some other ideas for scripts you can use to communicate with kids in moments where you might otherwise think you have to resort to forcing eye contact:
• "Can we talk about this?“
• "Let’s talk about this before you do [activity/game/thing].”
• "Let’s check in about this, please.“
• "Hey! We need to have a conversation about this before you ___”
• "When you’re done doing what you are doing, can we please have a conversation about ___?“
• "I know you want to do [activity/game/thing], but first I think we should talk about it to make sure that we both understand the things we need to do (or not do) to make sure everyone is safe/okay/etc.”
• "This is really important (for your safety/health/whatever other reason) and I need to make sure that you understand before you [start doing the thing, leave the room, start talking about a different topic, etc.]“
• "I need to talk to you about ___. I know you don’t want to talk about it right now and you want to go play, but it’s really important for your safety/health/other important reason, so what could maybe help you understand me best right now?”***
(***Note: with questions like the one above - especially with younger kids - it can be really helpful to give options or ideas rather than leaving the question totally open-ended because it may be hard for the kid to come up with things “on the spot” and/or they may not know what might be helpful. If you can offer some options - the more specific to that particular kid the higher chances of the options being helpful to them - it will very likely help a lot.)
• "The thing I just told you is really important (for your safety/health/because ___ reason/etc.). Can you please do something that helps me know that you understood what I told you?“**
(**As with the point before this one, it might be helpful to offer options for how the kid could indicate understanding - depending on how that kid communicates, how the kid can/likes to move their body, etc. For example, for some kids nodding their head might be a good option, for other kids clapping their hands might be a good option, for other kids verbal confirmation might be a good option, etc.)
This is certainly not a comprehensive list, and I’m sure there are other examples I’ve forgotten or left out. I tried to use phrases that seemed like they could translate well whether the conversation was being had verbally or non-verbally, but some of them might work better or worse depending on how you are communicating with someone and how they are communicating with you. I also realize that these scripts may not work at all for some people because everyone’s communication stuff (expressive and receptive) is different.
TL;DR: Forcing kids to make eye contact when you are trying to communicate with them about important things (or for any other reason) is not okay and is also entirely unnecessary. It’s especially important to consider what requiring eye contact as a "sign of understanding” does in terms of harmful impacts on autistic kids - many of whom may find eye contact uncomfortable and very stressful. There are lots of other ways you can communicate with kids about things that are important, things you need them to know and understand, things related to their health and safety, etc. without forcing them to look at you or to make eye contact.
thesurfacetensionofbirds
Follow
long post sorryi reject your social skills and substitute my ownkidsautistic kidsactuallyautisticautismautisticscriptswords words wordstext postmy hobbies include not making eye contact
As someone who has spent/spends a lot of time hanging out with and looking out for/looking after young kids, something I’ve encountered a lot is adults forcing kids to look them in the eye when they want to make sure they are getting a point across or when they are trying to have a “serious conversation” with a child.
Forcing a child to do anything is not okay. Yes, there are some things that may be essential to a child’s health and safety that an adult taking care of that child may have to get that child to do even if the child doesn’t want to, and in those situations every measure possible needs to be taken to make the experience as okay as it can be for the child. To be very clear - eye contact is not one of those things.
Forcing any child to make eye contact is not okay - this is as true for autistic kids as it is for non-autistic kids. But, with autistic kids, there’s the additional factor that eye contact may also be - in addition to being extremely stressful for the kid - impeding the kid you are talking to from listening to what you are saying or engaging with what you are saying because of the stress of being forced to make eye contact and because it’s easier for that kid to listen and understand when not making eye contact.
I remember so many instances from when I was a kid of having to choose between making eye contact when I was being told to and trying to understand what the person talking to me was saying.Situations like this were made even more stressful when I knew what was being said was something I was supposed to be listening to and understanding, but all I could focus on was how soon would I be allowed to break eye contact.
I have only ever once said to a child “just look at me for a second.” I apologized afterwards and have spent a lot of time thinking about it since. The kid I was talking to at the time was really upset and had been asking for help fixing a situation (before he became too upset to have words to ask anymore). I was trying to help him find a way to resolve the situation that was upsetting him, and without even thinking about it, I blurted out a phrase I’ve heard so many adults yell at children before (I didn’t yell, though). The ironic thing is that in saying that to this kid, I definitely did not make that much eye contact with him either (especially because I was busy trying to think of ways I could help him) - I said it because it’s a thing that I have heard so many adults say to kids…basically it’s a widely used social script, and we all have internalized scripts we may not even be aware of until they come up in a given situation (my observations lead me to believe that this is true even for folks who don’t rely as heavily on scripts as I and many others do). But, it’s a really harmful script and one that we need to stop using when we want to get a kid’s attention or have a conversation with them.
The other day I was hanging out with an neuroweird kid who I spend a fair bit of time hanging out with. At this point, we’ve gotten pretty good at knowing each others’ communication preferences and general ways of being. She sometimes makes direct eye contact with me and I sometimes make direct eye contact with her, but most often we sort of make periodic peripheral eye contact and not really much eye contact besides that. The other day when we were hanging out, she wanted to do something in the game she was playing that involved flinging small toys around. The toys involved didn’t seem like they had much potential to seriously hurt anyone or damage anything, and so there was no reason for me to stop her from playing that game. But, because I figured that there was still a potential that she could hurt herself or me, I asked her if we could talk about it before she started playing the game. Initially she did not respond to me or even seem like she was listening (she didn’t do the things she usually does when she is listening and she also kept almost flinging the toys). So, I asked her again if we could talk about the game before she kept playing it. This time she said yes, we talked about it and I explained that she should be careful not to aim the toys she was flinging at herself or at me and she agreed to this. This worked well and there is no reason at all why I would have needed to ask her to “look at me” or “look me in the eye” to have a conversation about playing a game more safely - even if it took a couple tries to get the conversation going.
There are lots of ways you can communicate with kids without forcing them to make eye contact - yes, even in situations where many people typically deem it “necessary” for a kid to look them in the eye “in order to make sure the kid has understood” or whatever other excuse people give for not respecting a child’s boundaries and needs.
Here are some other ideas for scripts you can use to communicate with kids in moments where you might otherwise think you have to resort to forcing eye contact:
• "Can we talk about this?“
• "Let’s talk about this before you do [activity/game/thing].”
• "Let’s check in about this, please.“
• "Hey! We need to have a conversation about this before you ___”
• "When you’re done doing what you are doing, can we please have a conversation about ___?“
• "I know you want to do [activity/game/thing], but first I think we should talk about it to make sure that we both understand the things we need to do (or not do) to make sure everyone is safe/okay/etc.”
• "This is really important (for your safety/health/whatever other reason) and I need to make sure that you understand before you [start doing the thing, leave the room, start talking about a different topic, etc.]“
• "I need to talk to you about ___. I know you don’t want to talk about it right now and you want to go play, but it’s really important for your safety/health/other important reason, so what could maybe help you understand me best right now?”***
(***Note: with questions like the one above - especially with younger kids - it can be really helpful to give options or ideas rather than leaving the question totally open-ended because it may be hard for the kid to come up with things “on the spot” and/or they may not know what might be helpful. If you can offer some options - the more specific to that particular kid the higher chances of the options being helpful to them - it will very likely help a lot.)
• "The thing I just told you is really important (for your safety/health/because ___ reason/etc.). Can you please do something that helps me know that you understood what I told you?“**
(**As with the point before this one, it might be helpful to offer options for how the kid could indicate understanding - depending on how that kid communicates, how the kid can/likes to move their body, etc. For example, for some kids nodding their head might be a good option, for other kids clapping their hands might be a good option, for other kids verbal confirmation might be a good option, etc.)
This is certainly not a comprehensive list, and I’m sure there are other examples I’ve forgotten or left out. I tried to use phrases that seemed like they could translate well whether the conversation was being had verbally or non-verbally, but some of them might work better or worse depending on how you are communicating with someone and how they are communicating with you. I also realize that these scripts may not work at all for some people because everyone’s communication stuff (expressive and receptive) is different.
TL;DR: Forcing kids to make eye contact when you are trying to communicate with them about important things (or for any other reason) is not okay and is also entirely unnecessary. It’s especially important to consider what requiring eye contact as a "sign of understanding” does in terms of harmful impacts on autistic kids - many of whom may find eye contact uncomfortable and very stressful. There are lots of other ways you can communicate with kids about things that are important, things you need them to know and understand, things related to their health and safety, etc. without forcing them to look at you or to make eye contact.
thesurfacetensionofbirds
Follow
long post sorryi reject your social skills and substitute my ownkidsautistic kidsactuallyautisticautismautisticscriptswords words wordstext postmy hobbies include not making eye contact
When you demand special treatment and get bitch-slapped and told to go be a tard somewhere else.
There's actually a group of tards with autistic kids who "treat" them with bleach enemas.
Really.
TiredConlanger
kiwifarms.net
...That's fucking retarded.
Petronella
kiwifarms.net
...she included pronouns for her cat...
Petronella
kiwifarms.net
What's up with using the term "special interests" instead of just "stuff I'm into" or something?
Because they want to be "sooper speshul" instead of an ordinary person pretending to have a disability for oppression points.
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