Avengers: Endgame - This is the end, beautiful friend

The Shadow

Friendly Neighborhood Shitposter
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The biggest problem I see you having is that Infinity War and Endgame are basically Part I and Part II of one story.
Why aren't they numbered? For real when did superhero movies become Erich Von Stroheim lengths and they can't even put a number on them so rubes like me that don't obsess over them know what order they're supposed to go in?

I mean if I got unfrozen from 1945 like Captain Popsicle I'd assume "Civil War" came first and involved superheros fighting at Gettysburg. I'm certainly a nerd about other things, but it kind of puts into perspective how bizarre these media are when you're on the outside looking in.

At this point I feel like going in blind just to feel completely bewildered and disconnected from the experience. I mean I'm not gonna watch all these fucking movies. I'm probably going senile for having any interest in Endgame anyway.

I think I probably just feel left out of other people's excitement and I don't want to be that guy that hasn't seen it. But comics are weird and impenetrable to outsiders and now due to having 9000 fucking movies, the movies have lost their accessibility just like comics themselves.
 
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SkeletonBias420

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Why aren't they numbered? For real when did superhero movies become Erich Von Stroheim lengths and they can't even put a number on them so rubes like me that don't obsess over them know what order they're supposed to go in?
They were actually referred to as Part I and Part II when they were first announced a couple years ago. They changed it at some point for reasons...
 

The Shadow

Friendly Neighborhood Shitposter
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They were actually referred to as Part I and Part II when they were first announced a couple years ago. They changed it at some point for reasons...
I have no idea why I've decided to have an autistic shitfit over it at this point. Is my life that empty now that I envy people that are really into superhero movies?

I guess I've gotten so bitter and cynical that feels like forever since I've been excited about anything. I'm jealous of people being hyped for a movie and that's really all there is to it.
 

SkeletonBias420

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I have no idea why I've decided to have an autistic shitfit over it at this point. Is my life that empty now that I envy people that are really into superhero movies?

I guess I've gotten so bitter and cynical that feels like forever since I've been excited about anything. I'm jealous of people being hyped for a movie and that's really all there is to it.
It's never too late to touch your inner-child.
 

Remove Goat

what're you gonna do bout it fag
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I'd just like to point out something it seems like no one has picked up on.

The snap? Happens in 2018. Peter's about 16 and gets dusted. I'm guessing the fat kid's the same age and they're both either in 10th or 11th grade.

5 fucking years go by, and it gets undone. Pete's still 16... The fat one should be 21... and yet they're still attending high school at the end. Judging by the FFH trailer, so are all of their classmates.

bruh I can't even anymore
 

Violence Jack

Hands-on paleontologist
kiwifarms.net
I'd just like to point out something it seems like no one has picked up on.

The snap? Happens in 2018. Peter's about 16 and gets dusted. I'm guessing the fat kid's the same age and they're both either in 10th or 11th grade.

5 fucking years go by, and it gets undone. Pete's still 16... The fat one should be 21... and yet they're still attending high school at the end. Judging by the FFH trailer, so are all of their classmates.

bruh I can't even anymore
I mean I had that thought as well because they even have Peter be the one to explain "oh we got snapped back immediately, but strange said it was five years later." so i'm left thinking why is fat friend still in high school? What about MJ? Shouldn't everyone who got snapped back have lost five years real time? I guess they really didn't want you to think about it, but i gotta ask why even show that scene with Peter if it breaks down the logic set down 20 minutes ago? They should've just not had the scene.

Real answer is that I guess it doesn't matter in the face of the status quo and spider-man sequels.

edit: inline spoilers i guess?
 
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SkeletonBias420

Mountain of Molten Lust
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I'd just like to point out something it seems like no one has picked up on.

The snap? Happens in 2018. Peter's about 16 and gets dusted. I'm guessing the fat kid's the same age and they're both either in 10th or 11th grade.

5 fucking years go by, and it gets undone. Pete's still 16... The fat one should be 21... and yet they're still attending high school at the end. Judging by the FFH trailer, so are all of their classmates.

bruh I can't even anymore
Why couldn't the fat kid have got dusted too?
 

Truthspeaker

Walking that line between victim and ex-lover
kiwifarms.net
I finally saw it.

My only complaints involve Brie Larson (who did she blow to get into Phase Three? did Amy Pascal or Kathleen Kennedy write the "grrl powah" scene?), but she's only in it for less than ten minutes. Everything else was excellent.

It hurt going back to Game of Thrones after this. We're years away from a possible Martin-written conclusion, and it won't make up for the hundreds of millions of dollars and years of effort spent by hundreds of people to ultimately ruin his series.

I'm also quite happy that Endgame'll likely topple Cameron's Avatar's record. It's so much better a movie.

They made Captain America say "Hail Hydra!" and had his role taken over by a black guy, and both bits worked excellently. I'm actively looking forward to the Falcon America movie!

See, Marvel Comics. This is what happens when you respect your audience and hire real writers.

I'm still not really interested in the (highly likely) Valkyrie standalone, but that's mostly 'cause I don't like Tessa Thompson. But even then, I'm much more interested in a trilogy of Thompson-led Valkyrie standalones than I am in some dumb bullshit like a literal female Thor.
 
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Beluga

Your friendly neighbourhood beluga
kiwifarms.net
I'd just like to point out something it seems like no one has picked up on.

The snap? Happens in 2018. Peter's about 16 and gets dusted. I'm guessing the fat kid's the same age and they're both either in 10th or 11th grade.

5 fucking years go by, and it gets undone. Pete's still 16... The fat one should be 21... and yet they're still attending high school at the end. Judging by the FFH trailer, so are all of their classmates.

bruh I can't even anymore
I asked the same questions to my friends, apparently it's assumed that the fat kid got dusted just like Peter and they go back to HS together.
 

Polyboros2

Is dumb and lost Polyboros password
kiwifarms.net
I asked the same questions to my friends, apparently it's assumed that the fat kid got dusted just like Peter and they go back to HS together.
And Flash Thompson, and Zenyatta. It's one of the problems I have with the movie, not doing the cliche time travel undo messes up the universe more than just doing it and have it still kill Tony.
 
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StarkRavingMad

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So, I actually really loved Valkyrie in Thor: Ragnarok. Different from the comics, yes, but I thought it was a good update to the character. In my opinion, the update worked.

I also don't mind that Thor made her King of New Asgard. It suits the character arc that Thor has gone through in the MCU; Thor will become a legend around the galaxy as not a king, but a hero. It just makes sense to me.

That said ... A solo Valkyrie movie? Ehhhhh.
 
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_blank_

The Charles Dickens of Disco
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Finally went to see this last night. It was... fine, I guess.

Keep in mind I haven't really invested a lot of emotion into the MCU. Last one I watched was Dr. Strange, and caught Infinity War on Netflix few days ago. Haven't watched Black Panther, Ragnarok, GotG Vol. 2, Ant-Man & The Wasp, and probably will never watch Captain Marvel.

Still, I was able to understand 99% of what I saw. And it was okay... I just really don't like what they've done with nearly all of the characters.

Hulk... okay, I liked Peter David's "Smart Hulk." But this isn't "Smart Hulk." "Smart Hulk" had some wit to him, some edge because he was a genius that also knew he could level a mountain with his bare hands. This was 9-foot CGI Mark Ruffalo with a slightly green tint. His main role in the movie was to handle consoles. Yeah, we had a feat of strength near the end, but that was onl a few seconds worth. Waste of time and a waste of a character.

Thor... see, I like Thor as the "fish out of the water" character. The one who is a god but has to try and fit in with mere mortals. This Thor is just a buffoon. I liked the scene with his Mom, that was okay, but the rest were just eh.

Captain America was fine since his role was just "tell characters to do things and look longingly at Peggy Carter."

Iron Man was the same Iron Man as always. Yeah he feels guilty about Spidey being snapped, but otherwise he's still the same self-righteous smug prick he always was. Which is fine, but I don't get the whole idea people have of him having a character arc.

Black Widow was a waste in this movie. The soul stone is supposed to be awarded to those who sacrifice what they love the most, etc. etc. - but Hawkeye didn't love her. Hell, they hadn't talked for years. I can get she was his only remaining friend, but her killing herself was contrived.

Rocket Raccoon - Props to whoever for giving him his old 80s costume. I enjoyed that... And he character as well, he was a highlight.

Captain Marvel - Yeah, this felt pretty much like "HELLO I AM CAPTAIN MARVEL, I WAS JUST IN A MOVIE OF THE SAME NAME. GO SEE IT, I'M OUTTA HERE."

End fight was okay, but I'm not going to get nostalgic over fucking CGI. Honestly what I would've loved is if they decided to just rally as many B and C list superheroes that hadn't been revealed as of yet, maybe have some subplot about Captain Marvel and Widow over the years rallying remaining heroes together and then have just one huge Marvel blowout. But whatever.

Overall, it was fine. 7/10. No interest in seeing it again.
 
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Mr. 0

god im not good at computer how did this get here
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Saw it. It was okay. The end battle was dumb. A giant alien spacecraft is parked in US air space and just blew the ever living fuck out of SHIELD headquarters, but no response from the US military. K.

Then Dr. Strange shows up and teleports in only the important characters and their factions. Bucky shows up and tears shit up with an M249. If only Dr. Strange had magicked in a few companies of Army or Marine infantry. Instead he plays with water.
TBF this was mere minutes after half of each of those things you described got snapped back into existence and had little time to reacclimate and figure out wtf was going on.
 

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
kiwifarms.net
TBF this was mere minutes after half of each of those things you described got snapped back into existence and had little time to reacclimate and figure out wtf was going on.
Even though I can agree to this, I still don't see why Dr. Strange wouldn't make some attempt at bringing in more reinforcements than a few Asgard and Wakandan spear chuckers. If the Wakandan and Asgardian armies can be mobilized in ___ minutes, I figure you can round up a few companies of Marines in the same amount of time with enough crayons.

Further things I don't feel make sense about the snap:

If you're in an airplane when you got snapped back, are you returned to the same spot pre-snap? Are you now just falling to your death? Since the Earth is in a completely different position in the solar system post-snap as opposed to pre-snap, do you just choke to death in space? If you are brought back in a completely different spot, what spot are you brought back to? What if your family has moved? What if you and another person are brought back in the same spot? Are you spliced together?

What about plants? Animals? The snap ended half of all life. What happens to those? If a new tree is now residing in the same spot as a tree that's snapped back, like the people in the example above, are they spliced together? If everything is snapped back randomly, how the fuck does that work with plants? Do you just have a fucking redwood sticking up out of the Autobahn in Germany?

And the most important question of all: Why the fuck is Harvey Black Birdman the new Captain America? He has no superpowers. We've literally watched Steve Rogers run actual circles around him. What?
 

SteelPlatedHeart

Politics are fucking dumb
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Even though I can agree to this, I still don't see why Dr. Strange wouldn't make some attempt at bringing in more reinforcements than a few Asgard and Wakandan spear chuckers. If the Wakandan and Asgardian armies can be mobilized in ___ minutes, I figure you can round up a few companies of Marines in the same amount of time with enough crayons.

Further things I don't feel make sense about the snap:

If you're in an airplane when you got snapped back, are you returned to the same spot pre-snap? Are you now just falling to your death? Since the Earth is in a completely different position in the solar system post-snap as opposed to pre-snap, do you just choke to death in space? If you are brought back in a completely different spot, what spot are you brought back to? What if your family has moved? What if you and another person are brought back in the same spot? Are you spliced together?

What about plants? Animals? The snap ended half of all life. What happens to those? If a new tree is now residing in the same spot as a tree that's snapped back, like the people in the example above, are they spliced together? If everything is snapped back randomly, how the fuck does that work with plants? Do you just have a fucking redwood sticking up out of the Autobahn in Germany?

And the most important question of all: Why the fuck is Harvey Black Birdman the new Captain America? He has no superpowers. We've literally watched Steve Rogers run actual circles around him. What?
I feel like you’re intentionally overthinking some of this.

Animals counted, plants didn’t. That bit with Ant Man suddenly hearing birds outside was meant to point that out. Because that’s how he figured out it worked. He heard more wildlife.

As for people reappearing, you can wave to away with what Tony told Hulk to do “Everybody comes back safe.”

Falcon became Captain America in the comics. Was he exactly the same? No? But he can still fight in his own way. The fact that it’s not just a “palette swap” is a good thing.

The military was not trained to fight mega beast aliens. The first thing they tried to do in Avengers is nuke New York. Ross would immediately be a dick and try to have Captain America arrested. They wouldn’t be able to shoot effectively with all those heroes all over the place, ect. Take your pick.
 

Anonymous For This

Flying pierogis at vienna.
kiwifarms.net
I feel like you’re intentionally overthinking some of this.
You don't say?

Animals counted, plants didn’t. That bit with Ant Man suddenly hearing birds outside was meant to point that out. Because that’s how he figured out it worked. He heard more wildlife.
It was half of all life, including plant life. This was already confirmed: https://screenrant.com/infinity-war-thanos-snap-animals-plants-killed/

As for people reappearing, you can wave to away with what Tony told Hulk to do “Everybody comes back safe.”
I can get behind this idea, but is this not just a monkey's paw at this point? What is safe? If everyone is brought back as a large group to rural Canada, they're effectively brought back safely, but not very practically and not very safe for very long. I'm not expecting the movie to really explain this to me, but I would like a better answer than IT JUST FUCKING WORKS, OKAY?

I'm also not expecting you or anyone else here to answer that, either.

Falcon became Captain America in the comics. Was he exactly the same? No? But he can still fight in his own way. The fact that it’s not just a “palette swap” is a good thing.
Like the guy above me just said, Birdman did not earn the title. Steve showed back up and was all, "Well, hey, you were my friend, so take this. Congrats, Cap'n."

He's also completely outclassed by every other Avenger. I can definitely agree that he has the spirit of Captain America, but he lacks the raw power to perform the tasks he will need to in order to succeed. Steve Rogers is essentially dooming him to an early grave.

The military was not trained to fight mega beast aliens. The first thing they tried to do in Avengers is nuke New York. Ross would immediately be a dick and try to have Captain America arrested. They wouldn’t be able to shoot effectively with all those heroes all over the place, ect. Take your pick.
Those Wakandan mega beast alien trainings must have been intense. It's definitely more believable that a bunch of Wakandans are shooting aliens with laser spears without sights than trained soldiers with M4s. Bucky was in the thick of it with an M249 going ham on them.

Earth was being invaded by that point, albeit on a shitty small scale. It would have been cool cinematically and also make sense to bring in actual soldiers to help. Hell, have them show up right next to Captain America as a call-back to the first Captain America movie. A company or platoon of soldiers isn't about ready to call in a tactical nuclear strike, my dude. The Davy Crockett got phased out in 1971.
 

friedshrimp

uwuu
kiwifarms.net
Well Bucky either hasn't earned being Captain America either, he can fight but he has a massive identity crisis and has mostly been around to being Steve's friend in need.
 

Stab You in the Back

kiwifarms.net
The Infinity Gauntlet isn't a magic lamp. I assume there is a ton of mental control over the result that isn't portrayed on screen.

Well Bucky either hasn't earned being Captain America either, he can fight but he has a massive identity crisis and has mostly been around to being Steve's friend in need.
Bucky is a super soldier and trained assassin. Falcon is a dude who stole a jet pack from the military.
Bucky is a hero because he's trying to make up for his past crimes. Falcon is a hero because....?
Bucky is a guy who can stand toe-to-toe with superhuman monsters and survive. Falcon is gonna be the second crippled black man in the MCU.
 
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